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granted, now they right non fiction novels and flood modern literature with non-copyright gakky love stories and eroticas.

I wish for a hotel that was part bulldog.

Granted. Good luck getting anyone to stay there, its in Siberia.

I wish my co-worker was not a load.

Granted, but he now becomes a dump truck.

I wish someone punched Tony Abbot PM in the face.

granted, they also punch Putin, Obama and Kim Jong Il... that wont turn out great....

I wish that genocide was a legal option available to anyone with the letter S in their name.

(oh yeah, i found that cat i was looking for btw)

Granted, but still try to create fanfiction. You are forced to watch the result.

I wish I was a mod at the website.

Granted, but the website shuts down a minute later. (But hey, at least you got to moderate)

I wish that Macs could support MOD files for Civilization 5

Granted, but all the mods you can download are full of viruses.

I wish Civ 5 worked on my computer.

Granted. It works at an agonizingly slow rate.

I wish i could fit all the cool clowns into this funhouse.

Granted. They are all serial killers who have disguised themselves as clowns.

I wish to have gentle, passionate sex with Lissa from Fire Emblem Awakening.

Yes, but as payment to do so, you have your penis removed.

I wish to get started on the platoon of Imperial Guardsmen I need to paint.

Granted. Pink guard are in.

I wish I could be bothered to paint my blood angels and ork vehichles.

Granted, I bother you until you paint your Blood Angels, and Ork vehicles.

I wish for a good tasting soda, that was good for you.

Granted, but it ends up being so healthy your stomach explodes from all the niceness.

I wish I had a can of spray paint to undercoat all of my miniatures.

Granted, but it's the wrong color paint. On the up/downside though, every time you press the button a fart noise is made.

I wish that the next poster's wish granted isn't corrupted.

granted.

No wish. Violent fish-slap.

I wish for more glow in the dark paint.

Granted. It glows so much, you are blinded.

I wish to become a Disney Princess!

Granted. But then you are turned into a frog and some French people eat you with mustard.

I wish I was French.

Granted. You stink, and are proud of it.

I wish it was not so easy to hate the French.

Granted. they are no longer loathsome, just exceedingly irritating.

I wish I didn't have to keep hacking my laptop every morning t get onto dakka.

Granted. Dakka now comes to you each morning, pounding on your door around 5AM, arguing loudly about release rumors, GW hate, and Dachsunds, among other things. They all demand cake.

I wish the tank at the VFW still ran.

Granted. It still runs. Over you 10 times.

I wish Morrisey was still a great writer.

Granted. He writes sparkly vampire novels now, and dogs love 'em.

I wish for some cat toys.

You get an entire adult shop arsenal for you and your cat to play with.

I wish I was the Emperor of Mankind before the Horus Heresy with all the prior knowledge of what is about to happen so I could pimp slap Horus in the face.

Granted, this causes Hourus to rebell and all the legions join him. You die, the chaos gods and psychers are accepted as real and useable just absurdly dangerous.

I wish to become a dietey to the frogs of the Chicago land area.

Granted. Then you croak.

I wish there was a cure for stupid.

Granted. genocide.

I wish for a dramatic trumpet theme to be heard whenever someone reads the aforementioned corruption.

Granted. You hear the trumpet maybe a dozen times. Then, silence.

I wish this forum is as busy as it used to be.

Granted. we are constantly bombarded by trumpet blasts constant basis, prepare your eardrums.

I wish for a trumpet.

Granted, but instead it blows out cream.

I wish I was the most beautiful person in the universe.