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Granted. Flesh eating pumpkins love it, with disasterous results.

I wish for some Pumpkin Headed Bugbears.

Granted, but some hooligans carved Butts on the pumpkin heads.

I wish the new model curse would no longer affect my models.

Granted. Your models are no longer affected. All other armies are, and they look amazing and do fantastic things that are balanced with everyone elses armies but yours. You're subsequently shelved.

I wish Will Smith were a rapper again instead of an actor.

Granted, but not the Will Smith you meant. For you see, I am a Will Smith... and an actor.

I wish to get my term over with.

Granted. Your term is over because the school closes when it is exposed as a front for a Meth distribution ring.

I wish blood would stop leaking from these stitches.

Granted. However, it is revealed that you are an extraterrestrial and are experimented on mercilessly by the government.

I wish for a Good ending to 40k that doesn't involve the Emprah summoning a Khornate demon and going Chuck Norris on everyone's ass.

Granted. It is instead a Slaaneshi daemon.

I wish I could make Bolters and bolt rounds from scratch.

Granted. However, you manage to shoot yourself in the face with one after examining the barrel of your boltgun whilst attempting to figure out why the damn thing jammed. Turns out, your bolts are poorly made. Doesn't prevent them from blasting your head into tiny little chunks though.

I wish for the motivation to create my SM chapter.

Granted. A Slaneshi Demon Prince threatens to entertain you every time you put down your brush.

I wish my leg didn't hurt so I could paint properly.

Granted, now your fingers hurt on your painting hand.

I wish Patton Oswalt was on Netflix

Granted. He's on Netflix but you have no way to watch.

I wish for a good old fashioned barn dance - Halloween party.

You get a barn dance, invaded by Halloween Michael Meyers

I wish they weren't already advertising for Christmas.

Granted. Happy Easter.

I too wish the stores would hold off on Christmas until after Halloween.

Granted. No more Christmas sales. Ever.

I wish I could think of a better wish.

granted, but your wish never came true.
I wish I could do whatever I want but was always in peak physical and mental condition

Granted. You are the healthiest slug on the planet.

I wish for some salt.

Granted, but the saltcomes in gas form.

I wish i was the emperor of mankind during the great crusade

Granted. Your ineptitude results in all the Primarchs falling to Chaos. The Galaxy is now the plaything of the Chaos Gods.

I wish that Lascannon shot had glanced that 1HP Land Raider Crusader.

granted, but the land raider next to it has no missing HP
I wish that I was the best painter in the world, but no one knew but me. and my local gaming group

Granted. Everyone in your gaming group knows that you paint the best grafitti in your vehicle interiors.

I wish for som more cake.

Granted, you eat your fill and explode.

I wish justin fletcher wasn't on every child's program

Granted. Now he's on every program.

I wish models weren't so bloody hard to paint/I actually had some artistic talent.

Granted, you eventually die under an avalanche of painted models

I wish my spare stuff would sell

Granted but you are the one who purchased it from yourself.

I wish I had more time!

Granted, I send you back in time to the year 1882.

I wish everyday was yesterday.

Granted, you eventually convince yourself you're living life backwards and attempt to re-enter your mothers womb

I wish I had a normal sleepattern

Granted. A normal sleep pattern for a grizzly bear.

I wish all these stitches didn't itch so much.

Granted, the itch has gone, as have the stitches, your insides spill out over the floor

I wish my ebay listings would start to sell

Granted, but consumer demand is so high, people start stealing from your house instead.

I wish this resin would dry.

Granted, it dries brittle and weak.

I wish the children would stop squabbling