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Granted, no one squabbles anymore. Instead, children now in days play their musics over iBoomboxes in the middle of streets at midnight, and dance to settle their problems.

I wish people would stop shipping me with snurl. I've read the fanfics! Stop it!

granted, you never see another fanfic, or anything else for that matter.
I wish that I had [ainted my skaven before buying 350 clanrats.

Granted, you are sick of skaven and never buy them again

I wish my pins and needles would go away

Granted, they're replaced by nails and screws

I wish a decent X-man movie would eventually be released. They're all pretty unwatchable.

Granted, M. Night Shamalan releases the best X-man movie yet. It eventually spawns a three-qual, and is universally agreed as better then Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings put together.

Sadly, you died a day before it was announced...

I wish for teleporation powers so I didn't have to drive anywhere.

Granted. You can now teleport to Anhiwere, Turkey, and nowhere else.

I wish Genestealer cult dataslate existed

Granted, but the rules suck, and GW refuses to release models for the other forms of genestealers.
I wish That the hobbit movies never happened

Granted. More appalling Twilight ripoffs are made instead.

I wish I could think of a decent chapter history.

Granted, it's so good gw issue a cease and desist notice and take your body parts to replenish tom kirby.

I wish my latest swapshop post would at least get rid of something I'm selling

Granted, some guy buys all of your stuff, but thanks to computer errors you don't get paid, and the guy legally gets all of your stuff for free.

I wish I had a machine that produced the perfect sandwich for me at that moment. And all I wouldd have to do is press a button.

Granted. It's a vending machine. All the food in it was perfect when it was inserted, months ago. And you have no change.

I wish for a quick evening.

Granted. You have a quick evening, night, morning, afternoon... You die 30 minutes later due to accelerated aging.

I wish I could bend reality to my will, accurately and without any strings attached.

Granted, but other realities exist which you cannot influence.

I wish I could healthily put on four pounds of weight.

Granted, you put on 4 pounds of muscle, which is quickly coated by 5 pounds of sugary fat deliciousness. (consider it padding in case you're punched!)

I wish I could find an online Deathwatch/Only War/Anything 40k Roleplaying group. (seriously... PM me if you know one.)

You find one, but find it is filled with the kind of folks who could never get a game in person, if you catch my drift. Oh, and they are all rules lawyers too.

I wish lead figures would make a comeback.

Granted. There is a dramatic rise in the figures of lead...poisoning

I wish the invention of rules lawyers was quickly followed by the invention of rules lifeguards

Granted. Rules lifeguards take half an hour per turn to verify that anything you do meets the pool (game) rules. If you break them, you are sternly warned. He also plays from atop a really tall chair.

I wish Finecast wasn't so gakky.

Granted, they are now more gooky.

I wish the Rules Lifeguards from my previous wish were replaced with Rules Ethreals, sent to smoothly guide us to balance.

Granted. But they get caught up in a huge disagreement about exactly what etherial saves they get and when. Everyone ignores them.

I wish for a set of One-Page rules for WHFB.

Granted. But the rules are written in Russian.

I wish for a spray can of GW Skull White primer.

Granted. It's empty.

I wish everything was good with the universe.

Granted. You are now in a universe where everything is good and any slight misstep with rules, law, or edicate is punished with death to keep your imperfection from spreading.

I wish Malifaux had a more impressive following.

Granted. Dogs love it.

I wish for a plain sheet of white paper.

Granted. Papercuts for days.

I wish for lemon juice.

Granted. It's in your eyes.

I wish I could sleep normally.

Granted, enjoy that drive home.

I wish for an oompa loompa

Granted. Your are imprisoned for keeping a slave.

I wish I had an Emperor's Fist Leman Russ battlegroup.

Granted. Epic Scale.

I wish for a legendary weekend.

Granted. You have to play the entire Halo series on Legendary. For the entire weekend. All of it.

I wish that my whole Guard army was painted by a professional commission studio.

Granted. Blue Table Painting.

I wish I could find a 40k Apoc game.