corrupt a wish!

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**War Kitten**

Granted, but it's far past it's expiration date and it makes you vomit.

I wish for all the negativity surrounding 40k to end.

**sing your life**

Granted, we all act positive, but are chronically depressed inside.

I wish for a horse.

**snurl**

Granted. You get a horse. It is mailed to you in 300 small, smelly packages.

I wish David Bowie did not pass away.

**sing your life**

Granted, he was turned into zombie and ate everyone's brains.

I wish Safari would stop refreshing.

**jhe90**

Granted, now it runs at dial up speed and takes hours to load dakka.

I wish I had a singing trout

**War Kitten**

Granted, but all it sings about is your faults.

I wish the roads weren't so bad here.

**snurl**

Granted. There are no roads here at all.

I wish to finish the city table.

**sing your life**

Granted, it looks bad.

I wish for more dakka.

**snurl**

Granted. You have more firepower at your disposal than the USMC. But you have not a single bullet.

I wish to find the rest of the books.

**sing your life**

Granted, but you lose them again immediately after.

I wish every single 40k codexes was extremely overpowered, which would therefore make them balanced.

**snurl**

Granted. Each codex is packed with cheese and guarantees auto win to anyone. Problem is everyone who loses cries "BROKEN" and sods off to play Warmahordes or Bolt Action. Soon there are no 40K players left.

I wish the cafeteria was open on night shift.

**sing your life**

Granted, at night it is host to a meeting of Nazi Hipster who throws blend rs at you anytime you come near.

I wish GW would admit AOS isn't working.

**jhe90**

Granted but all it serves is cold coffee and out of date pickled onions

I wish thou had a car

**sing your life**

Granted, I have no experience driving cars and so accidentally hit and kill you.

I wish I hadn't Ninja'd JHE90.

**War Kitten**

Granted, he ninja's you instead.

I wish someone would ninja me.

**jhe90**

Granted, a Ninja pops up throws a throwing star into your arm and runs off put the window taking your mouse for the computer.

I wish it was warmer tomorrow

**sing your life**

Granted, the Sun expands and eats the earth.

I wish I was great at spelling.

**snurl**

Granted. You are a spellcheck function for OS2Warp equipped machines. You are not very busy.

I wish I could decide which color to paint the villagers.

**sing your life**

*Colour

Granted, you decide to paint them in 3000 different colours that causes everyone's eyes to explode when they look at them.

I wish people wouldn't spell the word colour wrong.

**snurl**

Granted. Everyone spells it correctly; C-O-L-O-R; at least here in America.

I wish bloody foreigners didn't have a bloody different way to bloody spell everything.

**sing your life**

Granted, everyone loses knowledge of writing.

I wish David Bowie had not died.

**snurl**

Granted. He did not die, he ascended to his home planet.

I wish to remember all of the words to Bowie's songs.

**sing your life**

Granted, but you forget all the music and chords.

I wish to write a great anti-Christian satire.

**snurl**

Granted. But it is rejected as heresy by the church of the FSM.

I wish my figures were all primed and ready to paint.

**sing your life**

Granted, but then the painting goes all wrong.

I wish I knew when the Trumpeter T55A is being released.

**jhe90**

Granted its in the year 3754 on the 12th of may.

I wish I had a unicorn

**sing your life**

Granted, it is from Terraria and murders you violently.

I wish upgrades were quicker on Clash of Clans.

**KaptinBadrukk**

Granted. They're so quick the game upgrades every second, leaving you unable to play.

I wish that someone I knew won the powerball jackpot.

**jhe90**

Granted but the jackpot is 12 dollars as no one else plays it, your 12 dollars.

I wish I had a better ship on world of warships

**War Kitten**

Granted, you get the best warship there is. It is then instantly sunk by torpedoes.

I wish people would stop trying to run me off the roads.