40k Quote Humor/Fluff

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**Cambak**

metallifan wrote:
Ananimous

You mean anonymous?
"I don't need to learn english! I'm never going to England!" - Homer Simpson

Always a classic:

Yes I did mean that, sorry, it was 3 in the morning when I did that.

**Lord of battles**

My favorite quote is from For the Emperor:
"It's often remarked that deplomacy is just warfare by other means. Our battles are no less desperate, but at least we get wine and finger food.-Tollen Ferlang, Imperial Envoy to the Realm of Ultramar, 564-603 M41

**Colonel O'Grady**

this was yesterday actually

Me- Why does your warboss have a scope on his power klaw?

my friend- So he can make a "tactical insertion" heh heh

ummm lets see, this was from a while ago

"apparently the grot went to sniper training.... "
me after a grot manages to kill a mega-armoured nob."

thats all i can think of

**Generalian**

Whenever I see a apocayplse unit miss an attack I always think of this.

"Press any key... where is the any key?!" -Spacemarine Anderios

**Shadowbrand**

"What do you mean they weren't heretics?!... oh

"- Inquistor Lord Volitare Escariot.

**Luke_Prowler**

"Did anyone get the number of that red and green comet?" anonymous Guardsman after getting hit by a Ork Trukk.

**Huffy**

Colonel O'Grady wrote:this was yesterday actually

Me- Why does your warboss have a scope on his power klaw?

my friend- So he can make a "tactical insertion" heh heh

your friend is a genius, all of my nob leaders and warbosses also have scopes on their PKs

my favorite quote was when playing my IG friend,
" wow. . . not only did 2 basilisk shot just scatter into my gunline, but also 2 battlecannon shots. . . . and your lone ork with a rokkits sniped my chimera, killing my command squad. . . WHERE ARE YOU CREED!!"

**Superscope**

Huffy wrote:
my favorite quote was when playing my IG friend,
" wow. . . not only did 2 basilisk shot just scatter into my gunline, but also 2 battlecannon shots. . . . and your lone ork with a rokkits sniped my chimera, killing my command squad. . . WHERE ARE YOU CREED!!"

He is obiviosly leading your orks, because your not actualy fielding orks... they are actualy baneblades

Anyhow.. lets get some tau qoutes going here ;p

Firewarrior: So our guns shoot ping pong balls now?
Superscope: I'm afraid so... GW's has upped the prices so i have to make some price cuts somewhere!

I've had this next one happen to me playing my friends SM army

Crisis suits: We will take the enemy's support guns with our powerful ranged weapons and our jetpacks. *Deep strikes in* Fear us space marine, for we ar*Interupted by several shots from a thunderfire cannon he deep striked in front of.*

Stealth suit leader: We are invisable to the enemy!
Ork: Found some tao boyz here lads!!
Stealth suit: Sir... you might want to turn your suit ON for a change... *facepalm*

**Generalian**

Here are some that have made me lol lately.

"Tyranids can't touch you if you are on fire!" -The Late Salamander Captain Iota

"Ok I can deal with giant bugs, walking tanks, and living stabbing carpets..... but when I roll 20 ones for plasma squad. Thats it man, game over!" -Commander Cody Johnson

"Screw the rules, I have Imperial Guard!"

"When life you gives you lemons, LEMONS FOR THE LEMON GOD!"

**Kommandant56434**

Ah, one from a game i played against CSM:

Lord: "What do you mean you're still fighting them?! We need to take that hill!"
Berserker: "I... I don't know! We just can't kill them!"
Lord: "THEY'RE ONLY GUARDSMEN!!!"
*heard in the background: Guardsman: "HA! Is that all you've got? Where is your god now?!"

yup, i charged a single squad of guardsmen into a squad of berserkers and managed to lock in combat for 3 assault phases.

**Emperors Faithful**

My Opponent: Wow. Is that it? (pointing at my army deployed)

Me: Why? Do you think they're aren't enough?

Opponent: No, man. I...I just didn't know you could fit that many guardsman on a single board.

Me: Well I have another platoon, but I thought I'd keep them in reserve. It would take ages to deploy another 50 guardsmen.

Opponent: ...

**Lord of battles**

Kommandant56434 wrote:
*heard in the background: Guardsman: "HA! Is that all you've got? Where is your god now?!"

LOL

Sorry couldnt help it XD

**shrike**

"Me ladz just nicked a buncha big fings, probly got lotsa dakka!"- ork loota gutcruncha, reffering to a deathstrike missile launcher company, shortly before the 'incident' that halted an entire waagh!.

**Nightrave**

When i fielded my Vinidicator for the first time, i said to my opponent when he cryed for his nobz a little bit, "What? its almost as powerful as the beer my wolves drink"

He didn't find it as funny as i did

For Russ!

**Sarnath666**

Skulltaker to his bloodletters:
"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULLS THRONE!"
Bloodletter back:
"sir they're in land raiders.."

SKulltaker:...
does anyone have skarbrands cell?

**starbomber109**

Shas'vre: I think they are about to start shooting!
Shas'O: Hahahaha! What shooting? They're orks!

**Commisar Wolfie**

opponent- "Yes He's finally dead!!!"
(to my wolf lord who just chewed through most of his tau army leaving nothing but 2 fire wrriors and a devilfish and having made over 60 armour saves and 20 invuls)
Me- "Umm.. No....Actually I have a runic charm. Reroll 1 failed armour save. Yep he's still alive. bye bye FW wolfie hates shooty runaway tau.

**person person**

Lord of battles wrote:
LOL

...

Sorry couldnt help it XD

LMAO!

ON TOPIC: "but that includes EVERY colour of violence!" Some guy trying to persuade someone into collecting Rainbow Warriors.

**Cambak**

" Sir!Sir!"

"What? What?"

"The Tyranids are coming! The Tyradids are coming!"

"where are they?"

"In Drop pods."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! That'd take a tactical gen- CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!"

-My Gaurdsman ot my Commissar when I learned about the new Nid dex.

**Morgrim**

"Let us watch these mon'keigh dance." Me at the beginning of most of my battles, especially slave raids.

"You shall become food for the warpbeasts or toys for the arena." To my dark lance warriors, who so far have managed to kill two marines over five games, and have yet to seriously damage a vehicle. I now take down MEQ with massed splinter weapons and armour with blasters or talos.

"I never realised these raiders were so good at kiting." Me after a weapons destroyed raider managed to tie up a furioso for 4 turns by sitting on one side of some difficult terrain, waiting for the furioso to get almost in range and out the other side of said trees, boosting over to the other side of the trees and repeating the process. Then picking up some warriors and departing the board after I'd tied the game.

"Gah! Stop tripping over your own feet!" Friend about his furioso in several matches, who rolls strings of 1s and 2s when he's trying to run.

**Asherian Command**

"there are 5 types of people, one that gets shot and dies, one that lives and gets shot the next battle, The person that shoots one of these guys and dies as well, and people who have horrible dice rolls, and those people who make all of their armor saves." -from a match between 12 armies of space marines beating each other down. no one won the battle.

**Generalian**

ITS TIME TO DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DUEL!
-Jeffery The Khorne Beserker never really felt like one of the guys

**CountCross**

"By the Emperor, I cannot feel my legs!"

-Dreadnought taking first steps

**Generalian**

CountCross wrote:"By the Emperor, I cannot feel my legs!"

-Dreadnought taking first steps

BEST QUOTE YET

**person person**

LOL

**Fresh**

Grab your sword and fight the horde!

a +1 for whoever guesses where that comes from

**dementedwombat**

"Just look at the pretty red dot and all your problems will go away"-Pathfinder squad leader

Superscope wrote:
Stealth suit leader: We are invisable to the enemy!
Ork: Found some tao boyz here lads!!
Stealth suit: Sir... you might want to turn your suit ON for a change... *facepalm*

I feel your pain on this one. I have never had the stealth save do anything for me.

**Luke_Prowler**

"Come 'ere, tin head. I want to show you a trick" Ork Nob before killing a Necron Lord the first time.

"I'm goin' to krump you, and you're goin' to stay krumped" Ork Nob before killing a Necron Lord the second time.

**Generalian**

CARNIFEX USE SPLASH ATTACK!

NOW PREDATOR! USE SPLASH ATTACK!

COUNTER CARNIFEX! USE A SPLASH ATTACK!

OH NO PREDATOR! USE SPLASH ATTACK!

CARNIFEX USE HYPER BEAM! wait what do you mean you forgot hyper beam... JUST USE SPLASH ATTACK!

**person person**