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Granted It rained so heavy your entire city was flooded out.

I wish I didn't feel so goddamn old just because I remember that GW miniatures used to be plastic and metal only and MTV played actual music.

Granted. You forget how old you are, and GWs old models, as well as the names of your family members. You have Alzheimer's.

I wish I could one day rule the world.

Granted. That day will be when you're too senile and old to rule it effectively.

I wish for all of my bills to be paid.

Granted. You are arrested for tax avoidance for blackmailing someone else to pay for them.


I wish for forgiveness.

Granted. You are forgive from taking a cookie without asking when you where a child. All the other things you did are now unforgivable.

I wish to curse my enemies so that their heads would fall off at an awkward moment.

Granted. That moment is when they're near you, with the heads tumbling toward your feet tripping you.

I wish for rest.

Granted. You will be missed.

I wish for a bagel, despite not liking them.

Granted. A Bagel grows from your chin.

I wish for a winning lottery ticket.

Granted. You won a free ticket(it's a loser though).

I wish to bend a dragon to my will.

Granted. The dragon still end s up eating you.

I wish for more energy

Granted, but you make the entire human race look really dumb because they all put their hands in the air at the same time. At least you have a spirit bomb!

I wish for power.

Granted. Unfortunately after hooking up your house you find the bill to be extortionate.

I wish for the entire summer to be filled with wonderfully cool days such as this.

Granted. The summer days are now freezing since it's that cold in the Artic.

I wish for an ice cream van.

Granted. It doesn't run, needs inspected, and it's infested with hornets. But the horn plays, and won't shut off.

I wish to win the drawing for the free castle.

Granted. You win a drawing of a free castle.

I wish for nothing.

Granted. You have nothing to breath.

I wish to go troll hunting.

Granted. Unfortunately you spent all your money on the license, and can't afford a large enough gun.

I wish to be a rockstar.

Granted. You look ridiculous doing air guitar.

No wish. You get fish slapped and sent to a maze.

I wish an actual working version of the Necronomicon.

Granted. You get one. And you are never heard from again. Except on certain nights, when you can be heard giggling and scratching on the inside of the walls.

I wish for some good strong hot coffee.

Granted. Unfortunately you spill it all into your lap.

I wish I felt better.

Granted. You feel GREAT! You smile all the time. Even at family funerals and other occasions where it is highly inappropriate.

I wish for something new and exciting.

Granted. I emerge from the maze and reveal an amazing magic trick never seen before. You soon get over it though.

I wish to remember to play the game properly.

Granted. You are whacked on the knuckles by a nun with a ruler every time you do something wrong.

I wish my cat would go hunting with me.

Granted. You shot your cat because it looks like a pigeon.

I wish I had a cat.

Granted. The evil little monster then proceeds to mark all the furniture in the house, scratch his claws on doorways, and never covers up his mess in the litter box.

I wish for a new car.

Granted. The night after you took it home, my new cat found it's way inside it. You get up the next morning to go for a drive and...

I wish I would know where all my possessions were if I lost them.

Granted. You now know the terrible secret. You are silenced by those dark and terrible servants before you get a chance to reveal it.

I wish a silver sausage and a krack rack.

Granted. The sausage tastes awful.

I wish for a hot beverage.

Granted. You get a hot cup of super charged plasma. I explodes as soon as you touch the cup.

I insert some shadow spiders.