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Granted. The aliens invaded for real.

I wish PC games weren't so expensive.

Granted. You get them all for free, along with a few viruses, from a shady download site.

I wish everything worked like it's supposed to.

Granted. Everythings works as it should, so all repairmen and servicemen lost their job. Now they are banging on your door.

I wish more games had installers like C&C Red Alert 2...

Granted. Now all games are Red Alert 2.

I wish for some Christmas Cookies.

Granted, they are the best christmas cookies known to mankind however you are allergic to them

I wish for world peace

Granted. Since the meteor hit, survivors are few and more focused on survival than bickering.

I wish for the one who recieved my gift to acknowlege it.

Granted, they acknowledged it but don't appreciate it.

I wish peanut butter tasted nice

Granted. There's none left.

I wish for warmer weather.

Granted. You move to Libya.


I wish more songs had great guitar solos.

Granted. Specially folk, brass band, and christmas songs now have some cool riffs!

I wish I can play a damn guitar.

Granted. You can play, but dogs howl whenever you do.

I wish I had my singing voice back.

granted, however you can only sing well when no-one is listening

I wish it could be Christmas every day

Granted. All stores are closed or with limited service and christmas carols plays non-stop everywhere.

I wish Christmas carols weren't so annoying.

Granted. They become your favorite genre of music. You listen to them and sing them loudly all year long, eventually becoming very much like Buddy the elf.


I wish for a lot of Thousand Sons models this Christmas.

Granted. You get a gakload, but they are all the same model.

I wish for some good coffee.

Granted, but it costs $10,000 a cup.

I wish that I could get some nice 40k models for Christmas

Granted. Grandma bought you a bunch of miniatures she saw in a flea market. They look like this:


I wish my stomach stopped to hurt.

Granted. So does everything else in your body, including your heart.

I wish for a Merry Christmas for all of Dakka!

Granted, you wished but almost no one noticed.

I wish my neighbor shut the **** mouth.

Granted. They shut their mouth. Now they plot against you in secrecy.


I wish I had a pet eagle.

Granted. It carries you to it's nest and feeds you to it's young.

I wish my house stayed clean by itself.

Granted. Your House is clean and the major source of uncleanness, thats you, isn't in the house anymore...

I wish my Black Templars could return to their old glory of 3rd ed.

granted, the black templars are returned to their former glory, however no-one else buys into the range but you and it is quickly dropped again.

I wish the weather was good enough to do spray priming.

Granted. The weather is perfect for spray priming. In Florida.


I wish for a perfect Christmas weekend.

Granted. But look out for Monday.

I wish my cat was not scared of Christmas stuff.

Granted. Your cat suddenly loses its fear of Christmas stuff, but inexplicably you develop a fear of it.

I wish that flying monkeys were real.

Granted. Stealing Baboons from Indonesia can now fly and they infest your city.

I wish that christmas madness would finally cease.

Granted, but it's replaced by Teletubby programming madness 24/7 on every radio and TV channel.

I wish Trump would disappear forever into a wormhole.

Granted. He does, only to return as Trumpmeister.

I wish everyone had a great Christmas.

Granted. But they didn't appreciate it.


I wish that all of the celebrities who promised to leave the country after the election would actually do so.