Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Granted. In failcast.

I wish for sleep

Granted. You never wake.

I wish for vodka.

Granted. You get a bottle of Crystal Head. But then you never want anything else to drink and go broke buying the stuff.

I wish this primer would dry so i could start painting.

Granted. But it cracks and falls off. Then you are slapped with a fish.

I wish to get a decent nights sleep.

Granted. But the decent knight feels cheated so he cracks you one across the head with a morning star.

I wish miniatures came pre-primered from the factory.

Granted! Primed with acidic material.

I wish for a brand new car.

Granted:



I wish for cake! OM NOM NOM NOM!!!!!

Granted! Poison cake.

I wish for a cool skill to show the ladies.

Granted. You can do a triple backflip. But it brings you out in boils.

I wish for mice

Granted. You get a fethload of mice. Then the cats find out and you get them too.

I wish the mice in my garage would go somewhere else.

Granted, they carry you off to master of ordinance's house.

I wish for a rampaging giant cephalopod

Granted. A rampaging giant woodlouse the size of a small dog.

I wish for more kitty

Granted. You are trapped inside a giant hour glass filled with cascading Kitty Litter.

I wish for suggestions.

Granted, however they are all rather poor and useless

I wish sunday was here already..

Granted! You get a nice sundae.

I wish Sunday would never come.

Granted. It never comes, and it remains Thursday forever. Expiration dates get real tricky after awhile.

I wish I did not have to visit the dentist this morning.

 snurl wrote:
Expiration dates get real tricky after awhile.

This is hilarious.

Granted. You flee to the Himalayas so that your dentist may never find you. However, your teeth rot out, and as more refugees with the same reason for hiding settle in your area, you open a monastery for the toothless victims. Everything is going well until the fateful day when the Adeptus Orthodontus obliterates your sanctuary with Exterminatus by mouthwash. The survivors have their mouths brutally cleaned with fearsome chainbrushes.

I wish for an Adeptus Orthodontus story pitting them against Nurgle's armies.

Granted. But it turns out to be dentist office propaganda and comes with a free toothbrush and pictuures of the evil Ruth Deekay to color.

I wish these presents were already wrapped up.

Granted, but they become unwrapable (is that a word?)

I wish for a metre long Jaffa cake tube.

Granted but you don't like Jaffa Cakes.

I wish for a class of whiskey and lemonade.

Granted. Whiskey class is on your schedule every morning at 0600 hours, after which you are doused with weak cold lemonade courtesy of typo incorporated.

Yes folks, some gifts are darn near un-wrappable, I must say after this afternoon's debacle.

I wish for everyone to have a Merry Christmas.

Granted, i refuse to corrupt this wish....
For my treason to this thread i don't make a wish and throw myself to the twisted nether that is dakka.

No wish. One or more of your Christmas Presents are socks and underwear.

Actually I wish for some new socks for Christmas.

Granted, but for babies.

I wish it could be Christmas every day.

Granted. It sucks all the fun right out of it and its all your fault.

I wish the beer was cold right now, i cant wait.

Granted. The beer is so cold the bottle shatters

I wish for world peace.

Granted. The world is now boring and I blow it up.
I wish for a time machine that works perfectly traveling in any direction

Granted. You have the time machine. It works perfectly travelling in any direction, but it relly sucks at moving through time.

I wish I knew what Santa might bring.

Granted. Santa gets stuck in the chimney

I wish for moar wishes

Granted, as many as you want in this thread but any time you touch a computer or its peripherals in any way it breaks beyond repair and can't use them.

I wish for a T.A.R.D.I.S. and a chainsaw for Christmas.