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Granted. Its the day you are on vacation, and must stay home.

I wish to travel.

Granted, but you can never go back home.

No wish. You are thrown into a pit full of lesbians.

I wish the corn would grow faster.

Granted. It grows faster inside of you digestive track after you ate it.

I wish for the rumored Ork boxsets.

Granted. Orc boxsets.

I wish for this wish to benefit me in some way.

 Selym wrote:
Granted. Orc boxsets.

I wish for this wish to benefit me in some way.

Granted. You are no longer intelligent enough to comprehend or even take an interest in anything except stuff that is considered mainstream. After all, isn't the life of the simpleton the greatest life of all?

I wish for my entire Guard army to be painted well.

 TheCustomLime wrote:

 Selym wrote:
Granted. Orc boxsets.

I wish for this wish to benefit me in some way.

Granted. You are no longer intelligent enough to comprehend or even take an interest in anything except stuff that is considered mainstream. After all, isn't the life of the simpleton the greatest life of all?

I wish for my entire Guard army to be painted well.

Granted, the army morphs into a painted well, from which you may obtain water.

I wish to be me again, I hate all this stupidity!

Aw, crap. The ground water underneath where I live is contaminated with industrial chemicals.

Granted, but now you can know just how bleak the future is and despair about the fact that no one seems to care.

I wish to be the best miniature sculptor there ever was.

 TheCustomLime wrote:
Aw, crap. The ground water underneath where I live is contaminated with industrial chemicals.

Granted, but now you can know just how bleak the future is and despair about the fact that no one seems to care.

I wish to be the best miniature sculptor there ever was.

At least I can go back to being cynical

Granted, you are 1mm tall.

I wish to be immune to pain

Granted, but pain was the only way you could receive sexual pleasure.

I wish jjfxjdfjdjdjdjsdchgfhgauyfguqewhwehfjsdhakfhkjfsajh. But only with two hooves.

Granted, but jjfxjdfjdjdjdjsdchgfhgauyfguqewhwehfjsdhakfhkjfsajh is an Eldritch Abomination that drives the entire population of the world to insanity.

I wish I could get up in the morning.

Granted. You wake up 8 AM sharp. 8 AM West Coast Time that is.


I wish for new FAQs/

Granted, you get a new pregnancy test FAQ.

I wish I knew what to do.

Granted, you now know that you shouldn't have wasted your wish on this wish.

I wish I could find something really cool for my new signature.

Granted. It's says you killed Lincoln.

I wish to hear some good music made this year.

Granted... but you have to wait for the new Hellion Album to be released first.

I wish Johnny Manziel has tons of luck in his rookie season with the Browns.

Granted. He luckily gets traded to the Phillies.

I wish Sing your life would listen to Heaven Knows by The Pretty Reckless

Granted, but the volume is so loud it turns her deaf.

I wish for a saucy Daemonette.

Granted, but she's tricks you into taking part in a fatal orgy.

I wish John Lennon could come back to live.

P.S: I'm a man.

Granted but he chokes on a chicken bone about a week later.

I wish I had a billion US dollars that are legitimately in my name, in a secure bank account and only I knew the PIN to said account.

 TheCustomLime wrote:
Granted but he chokes on a chicken bone about a week later.

I wish I had a billion US dollars that are legitimately in my name, in a secure bank account and only I knew the PIN to said account.

Granted but, you get framed for fraud, and are fined all of that money

I wish to be able to have my Primaris Psyker be allied with my friend's ultramarines, and in his sternguard unit, and then summon some daemons, and be all like "Sorry, I'm a heretic!"

Granted. You wonder why no one wants a game anymore.

I wish every day was like today.

You join Bill Murray in Ground Hog's Day.

I wish people would believe me I am not a werewolf.

Granted. But they still think you are a vampire.

I wish to get A* in my exams.

Granted, but soon after grades are removed altogether.

I wish I had more time so I could get gak done...

Granted. But then you finish everything and there is nothing left to do.
I wish for some good pie.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. But then you finish everything and there is nothing left to do.
I wish for some good pie.

Granted. It was, however, a maths joke involving statistics and geometry.

EDIT: I wish for 7th ed 40k to be good.

Granted, its the best edition ever. Unfortunately GW releases it as a digital only edition for one day in order to relace it the next day with 8th edition which is so bad it literaly causes World War III.

I wish for a World war III survival bunker to which only myself and a selected number of people of my choice have acces to.

 korbenn wrote:
Granted, its the best edition ever. Unfortunately GW releases it as a digital only edition for one day in order to relace it the next day with 8th edition which is so bad it literaly causes World War III.

I wish for a World war III survival bunker to which only myself and a selected number of people of my choice have acces to.

Granted, but by some mental error, you choose me. And that is all the punishment you need

I wish for a tinfoil hat to make all these daemons shut up.

Granted but it only amplifies their telepathic powers being a conductive material.

I wish for an atom of hydrogen to appear 200 million light years away.