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Granted. It's now one reply longer.

I wish my laptop was new and fast instead of old and slow.

Granted however it is still connected to a daisy chain printer and has no battery life whatsoever. It cannot go wireless.

I wish diarrhea was spelled P A R A D I S E so it was somewhat more enjoyable.

Granted. The spelling changes but everything else stays the same, except your name is now spelled: D O U C H E.

I wish people wouldn't mess with spelling.

Granted. People are now content to leave Tori Spelling alone.

I wish for more time on my hands.

Granted, you are holding a huge old church tower clock. Don't drop it, its priceless.

I wish to get it over with.

Lol guys I truly appreciate all of you. You make this all worth it.

Granted but you fall short and are still kicking around with the worst of us.

I wish I really wanted to paint Malifaux crap.

Granted. You are forced to paint 28mm Napoleonics non stop for months. You would really like to paint some Malifaux crap.

I wish to try scuba diving.

Granted however it is 100 meters down and you forget to continue to allow breath to escape. Crushed lung....it's whats for dinner!

(Snurl I hope you and anyone else interested do in fact get to do it. I recently got my PADI certification and it was completely awesome. Nothing like it above the water and only a few people will ever see what you see down below. Good luck man!)

I wish my new replacement crockpot lid actually fit the unit I have.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. You are forced to paint 28mm Napoleonics non stop for months. You would really like to paint some Malifaux crap.

Exalted! I am in the process of painting my 5th Light battalion KGL and all I see are epaulettes and shakos!

 JamesGang wrote:

 snurl wrote:
Granted. You are forced to paint 28mm Napoleonics non stop for months. You would really like to paint some Malifaux crap.

Exalted! I am in the process of painting my 5th Light battalion KGL and all I see are epaulettes and shakos!

Don't forget all that piping. I thought the Old Guard would do me in. I Don't plan on doing any more for a long time.

Back on subject,

Granted. But you drop the lid and break it when you are suddenly fish-slapped.

I wish use these new dice real soon.

Granted but they only rolls 2's.

I wish Double Dare would come back!

Granted, but it's a double deer.

I wish I had 3 Stompas.

Granted, they all stomp on you.

I wish I wished for something different last time because that wish clearly failed to produce a wish worth wishing for.

Granted. But somehow, the result is the same.

I wish for a natural 20.

Granted but happyjew knocks the table and you fail whatever important roll you had attempted. Your character dies that you spent 20 years making.

I wish for a Natural Light

Granted. However, due to a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff, and my inherent love of alcohol, I drink it and end up knocking a table where someone had just rolled a natural 20, causing whatever was being attempted to fail and somebody's character dies.

I wish I didn't have to work so early in the morning.

Granted. You are unemployed.

I wish drunken players who knock over the table at inopportune moments had enough class to drink something better than swill.

Granted. They now drink nothing but Dom Perignon vintage 1921. And it's all charged to your tab.

I wish I could neural link with my computer to play video games.

Granted. But the only game it will play is Pong.

I wish to play some Banjo Kazooie.

Granted, you can now play your Ebola song on the kazoo and banjo. You play well though!

I wish to go canoeing.

Granted, but an alligator eats you.

I wish I had a water bottle in school.

Granted but it's filled with vodka. You are removed from said school.

I wish to smack around a funky llama

Granted. It smacks back, much harder than you anticipated.

I wish for a small space heater.

Granted, but your space ship blows up.

I wish for a girafatitan.

Granted, you receive Steam Powered Giraffe. The Titan of steampunk genre robotic family fun music in California.

I wish a leaf blower could be used for snow.

Granted. It can be used for snow, but only the fake model railroad kind.

I wish to never shovel snow again.

Granted, but it'll be 50 degrees outside.

Celsius.

I wish to have unlimited paints.

Granted. Unlimited because the caps are unremovable.

I wish for some more painting time.

Granted, while serving the time in jail for looting women's underwear of all things!

I wish for whiskey and chocolate chip cookies and brussel sprouts!

Granted. They came blended together.

I wish for the ability to turn lead into gold.