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Granted, he pays you in man love.

I wish I hadn't thought of that.

Granted. You didn't just think of it. You obsessed about it. You will exterminated by the thought police for your crime.

I wish taxes were easier.

granted, however you get no return and oew the government 500 dollars

I wish that I have the ability to generate and forget any power at will.

Granted, however the first power you generate is Forgetfulness. You forget you have this ability.

I wish Edmonton and Arizona start winning more NHL games.

Granted, there are no stars in the league anymore and parity reigns supreme. The league is now so watered down with talent (more than it is already) and the NHL dissolves the following season.

I wish hockey was as good as it was in the 80s and early 90s.

Granted. Hockey is as good as it ever was, however you have
never heard of it or seen it.

I wish I wasn't sore.

Granted. A 400lb sweaty man-beast gives you a full body, deep tissue, massage. You feel wonderful. Sort of...

I wish my nose would stop producing buckets of snot.

Granted. Now it produces oceans of snot.

I wish I knew what to do with the Jews.

Granted, you take them to the bank and you are not part of the community.

I wish I had more hats

Granted, but all the mercury in them seeps through your skin and causes your genitals to explode.

I wish I understood what JamesGang's signature is supposed to mean.

Granted. You are now Jamesgang.

I wish for some good pizza.

Granted. But you choke to death on it. At least it was a happy death, right?

I wish for superpowers.

Granted. You may now see the future! But you're endlessly interviewed by tedious news channels and magasines.

I wish I hadn't put this pen in my mouth.

Granted. You put it in your bum instead. You sick freak.

I wish to be the greatest pizza chef in all the world.

Granted. You are the greatest Pizza chef in all the world. Then your steroid use gets you stripped of your title and you wind up as a busboy.

I wish Miniatures cost less.

Granted. Miniatures no longer exist and are therefore free by default.

I wish I was a swordmaster.

 tekno000 wrote:
Granted. You put it in your bum instead. You sick freak.

Why'd you think I regretted having it in my mouth to begin with?


Granted, but swords and bladed weapons are now illegal in your country.

I wish tiny dinosaurs existed, so we could see them trotting about.

Granted. They existed, until you trod upon them with your clumsy feet.

I wish for satisfaction.

Granted. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096037/ What a horrible movie...

I wish I had more Red Bull

Granted, you have enough you grow wings and fly close to the sun and promptly burn.

I wish more people wished they understood my signature. Because it's not that friggin hard!

Granted. Everyone wishes they understood your signature. But they don't, because this is Corrupt-a-Wish! Your inbox is filled with requests for explanations and every thread you post on quickly deteriorates to people discussing your signature. Way to ruin the forum...

I wish I didn't get so tired driving home after work.

Granted, you are never tired anymore and go insane from the lack of sleep. As you run over pedestrians you shout out the meaning of my signature as a way to scold them.

I wish I would stop sneezing.

Granted. You never sneeze agian. But, you constantly feel the need to...

I wish I was home.

Granted, in an old folks home where your neighbors eat checkers and plum raisin porridge is served on Tuesdays!

I wish I had a new stereo system. My boom box from 1998 just died.

Granted, but it uses up so much power your electricity bill runs in the millions.

*points to avatar*

I wish he was in Game of Thrones.

Granted, "he" is in GoT but is killed in the first 3 seconds.

Sorry.. :::SPOILER ALERT:::

I wish someone would send me a bottle of Broughton Black Douglas. I miss it so much.

Granted. It's delivered to you from the back of a hot truck, spoiled and flat.

I wish there were more good epic fantasy movies.

Granted. There are several dozen of them, but they are all in turnaround and may never see release.

I wish I understood the meaning of JamesGang's signature.

Granted, you understand it. And it makes your head explode from how easy it now is.

I wish my Avatar could beat up a llama that is really a hippo.

Granted, you now have a Powerfist, and the skillz to use it. However, the rare llama that is really a hippo died yesterday after choking on a shoe. It was the last of it's kind.

I wish the next person to post, would post a post worthy of this wish.