Our avatars in a room.

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**TheCustomLime**

sing your life wrote:
Wait, let's just put all I'll weapons down for a minute and I'll explain how a date works.

*breathes in and out slowly*

Okay, so we start off by asking each other questions about each other like favourite pastimes and colours [if you can't see mine's red you must be fething blind BTW]. Sometimes I will ask you to if you remember something about me so I can know whever you care about me enough to remember those things. If I'm hungry I will refuse to talk until you buy some food and shove it into my face. After this you have to ask me on a date, which I will accept and we will go to some random hangout spot where you will have to earn points by matching differant tokens in a grid using a limited number of moves. Get enough points and the date will be sucessfull and I will give you some money and sent you a picture of myself to your phone.

I got a good place in mind, Macho. It's called a shallow grave out in the woods. *Racks shotgun* I think you'll like it.

**Selym**

zombiekila707 wrote:
Selym wrote:
Oh great, it's palmed us off to another thing that thinks I'm an inanimate object!
At least I'm not shaking anymore.
I preferred when the robot was at least trying to communicate, this thing's just poking me with bits of metal.
Well, there's not much I can do, really. I shall just sit back and rel-
WHAT IS IT DOING!?
It's generating heat on me. Pretty colours.

*the scientist has taken a blowtorch to The Cube*

Why are you putting a blow torch to the cube?

*scientist shrugs and whispers in my ear*

Why do you guys whisper so much Jesus... You theorize little people live in there? Aint nobody got time for that!

*Picks up the cube*

HELLO! WE ARE THE ENCLAVE AND WE ARE HERE TO..."HELP" WHO ARE YOU?

Well I am most certainly not responding to a greeting as rude as that.
Hi, I'm The Cube!
And the robot can piss off.
I'm a little moody today, don't mind me.
I can piss off too!
Before I vanish in a puff of logic, could you address my other half?

**Verviedi**

*Looks at Macha, puzzled expression*

...How much do you charge?

**Buttery Commissar**

[Peeps at the cube] [Reaches over and draws a smiley face on one side and a sad face on the opposite]
...I feel a bit strange addressing things without faces. So to speak.

Hello cube, do you have a name other than "cube"?

**Selym**

Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Peeps at the cube] [Reaches over and draws a smiley face on one side and a sad face on the opposite]
...I feel a bit strange addressing things without faces. So to speak.

Hello cube, do you have a name other than "cube"?

I've never been around bipeds long enough to get one.
Hey, look, I'm not insulting anyone!
For now.
As you may have noticed, I am a sentient Cube.
It's a fact not worth knowing.
So I'm here to spread the good news; not all life is biological. Or mobile.

**Verviedi**

*Notices the cube and walks over to it, looking for an interface port*

**Selym**

Verviedi wrote:
*Notices the cube and walks over to it, looking for an interface port*

I've never seen a biped quite so hideous.
I should be polite, poor thing's probably had some sort of accident.
Either that or that flunkie who calls itself a scientist attacked the melty biped with his blowtorch.
That seems unlikely.
Did I see what he was doing with it? Right up against the vertex.
I thought it was trying to keep me from reaching maximum entropy.

**zombiekila707**

Selym wrote:
Verviedi wrote:
*Notices the cube and walks over to it, looking for an interface port*
I've never seen a biped quite so hideous.
I should be polite, poor thing's probably had some sort of accident.
Either that or that flunkie who calls itself a scientist attacked the melty biped with his blowtorch.
That seems unlikely.
Did I see what he was doing with it? Right up against the vertex.
I thought it was trying to keep me from reaching maximum entropy.

*Sigh*

Well cube can you tell us your purpose? And stop being such a donkey-cave? Verviedi looks great for a mutant cyborg! *Gives V a thumbs up*

*Enclave scientist waves hands frantically. Which causes me to swat him aside killing him instantly*

**Buttery Commissar**

Verviedi wrote:...How much do you charge?

[Flicks the remains of Verviedi's ears] Rude.

[Leans on table and looks at the cube] Are there two of you, or are you a schism personality?

**Selym**

zombiekila707 wrote:
Selym wrote:
Verviedi wrote:
*Notices the cube and walks over to it, looking for an interface port*
I've never seen a biped quite so hideous.
I should be polite, poor thing's probably had some sort of accident.
Either that or that flunkie who calls itself a scientist attacked the melty biped with his blowtorch.
That seems unlikely.
Did I see what he was doing with it? Right up against the vertex.
I thought it was trying to keep me from reaching maximum entropy.

*Sigh*

Well cube can you tell us your purpose? And stop being such a donkey-cave? Verviedi looks great for a mutant cyborg! *Gives V a thumbs up*

*Enclave scientist waves hands frantically. Which causes me to swat him aside killing him instantly*

Purpose? What is that supposed to mean?
I have no clue. I think I've been around long enough to have discerned one if it existed. Then again, I'm not sure how long I have existed...

**Selym**

Buttery Commissar wrote:
Verviedi wrote:...How much do you charge?
[Flicks the remains of Verviedi's ears] Rude.

[Leans on table and looks at the cube] Are there two of you, or are you a schism personality?

Is this not normal for bipeds?
I am a duality. I think. I've never really checked what that means, or if I fit the definition.

**Verviedi**

I'm not going for ugly...

*Sad face*

Well, anything that ate a Pyrovore shot won't exactly be pretty, but...

Have some sensitivity!

**Selym**

How about no.

*a moment of silence while The Cube tries to work around the I/My/Me limitations of biped's languages, as it argues with itself*

Er... I am very sorry about that.

**Co'tor Shas**

Hmm...

*Attempts to scan cube*

<ERROR: SUBSTANCE CAN NOT EXIST>

*Sigh*

What do you mean it can't exist. It clearly exists, you just scanned it.

**Verviedi**

It's OK. I should probably prettify myself a little, but I always thought any aesthetic value was worthless, due to apparently being cursed with having no ability to attract anyone ever.

*Sighs and begins drawing on the cube's side with a small laser*

**Selym**

Verviedi wrote:
It's OK. I should probably prettify myself a little, but I always thought any aesthetic value was worthless, due to apparently being cursed with having no ability to attract anyone ever.

*Sighs and begins drawing on the cube's side with a small laser*

Oh now look what I've made it do!
It's fine, I'm pretty much indestructible. Surviving a black hole and whatnot.

**TheCustomLime**

Verviedi wrote:
It's OK. I should probably prettify myself a little, but I always thought any aesthetic value was worthless, due to apparently being cursed with having no ability to attract anyone ever.

*Sighs and begins drawing on the cube's side with a small laser*

Hey, Macha is pretty desperate. You could put on a new hat and try your luck with her. Assuming I don't kill the commie first, though.

**Buttery Commissar**

Verviedi wrote:
It's OK. I should probably prettify myself a little, but I always thought any aesthetic value was worthless, due to apparently being cursed with having no ability to attract anyone ever.

*Sighs and begins drawing on the cube's side with a small laser*

At the very least you should put pants on.

**Verviedi**

*Looks down at hands*

*Notices that the complex mechanisms to extend and retract my needles and guns are exposed to everyone*

Damn. I should wear gloves.

Oh feth.

*Awkwardly shuffles out of the room to go find some clothes*

**Buttery Commissar**

Hm, what brings you here then, cube?

[Very wrong idea] Hey V, can you print yourself a new outside, like when you created a copy of me?
If you could make yourself look like a certain entity, you could make life very entertaining around here.

...Not that I encourage heretical activity or impersonation of a deity. I may have to go and flog myself shortly. [Worried face]

**Verviedi**

*Pokes head out*

Yeah, I think so. What are you suggesting?

*Thinks*

...Be right back.

**TheCustomLime**

I've got a good feeling about this.

**Verviedi**

*Begins shaping vat-grown skin into a shape*

*Grabs some armor plates out of my room*

**Buttery Commissar**

...Yeah. I'm definitely going to have to flog myself.

[Feeds hat-caterpillar a cabbage leaf]]

**Verviedi**

...I feel bottom-heavy.

*Takes a nap in the corner*

**2BlackJack1**

I'm not even going to dignify this with asking why this was your first choice to morph into

**Buttery Commissar**

[Looks at ceiling] Because there's a certain Eldar in the room has a serious thing for the Emperor...

[Winces] I'mnotahereticI'mnotahereticI'mnotahereticI'mnotaheretic... [Picks up short cattail whip from weapon rack and walks into butter tank]

**ZergSmasher**

*Sees Verviedi, facepalms*

"Why would you impersonate some kind of cross between the Emperor and one of the Terran nation-states' ancient leaders?"

*Considers*

"Perhaps this is some kind of Terran joke, in which case we Protoss are probably not meant to get it..."

**Selym**

Buttery Commissar wrote:
Hm, what brings you here then, cube?

How am I supposed to know? It's not like any of you wanted to talk to me before I made weird gak happen.
I think I might be here to find out if there is some form of metagame in this room. Also, I have never been able to prove that those strange effects are anything other than a strange coincidence.
It works every damn time.
And it makes no sense whatsoever!

*a pause as The Cube makes some form of inanimate grin*

That was the silliest face I've ever not pulled.
I liked it.

**TheCustomLime**

<XxXTrOLLDIERS4L1F3420XxX) has left the server> (Disconnected by user)

*Cadian Shock Trooper spewed out through warp portal*

What the.. How the hell did I get here? And where's Sergeant? And... who... what are you people?

Is.. is that the Emperor of Mankind? Am I dead?