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Private, did your parents have any children that lived?

I'm a First lieutenant!

(Eyes flash gold and I point a storm bolter at SYL)

YOU DARE INSULT THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND?!?

*Coughs a bit*

[Looks at Blackjack] I think he yelled a typo.

[SoB stands attentively and starts brushing Verviedi's hair out of his eyes]

...This isn't teaching me anything.

Do you want me to clean your bolt pistol, commissar?

Haha, that soldier doesn't like girls!

*"Godly" facepalm*

What? The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer says that if the Commissar is feeling down a Guardsman should offer to polish his or her Bolt Pistol.

[Takes out spare Commissar hat and puts it on TCL] [Hands him a bolt pistol]
...You be the new Commissar. I'll be in the bar.

[Wanders over to the bar and starts on the whiskey]

Woo! Field promotion!

That's nothing special, really. Get it all the time. Close to becoming a Captain now..

Is that insubordination I hear, Lieutenant?

No..?

[Continues drinking] [Gets a disapproving stare from the SoB]
S'okay, I left him in charsh! [Points at TCL] The world is safe!

[Blinks] I'd forgotten what drinking feelsh like. Feelsh like happy. [Grins]

Hmm, a commisar that actually is disgusted by xenos. This won't end badly at all.

S'fine. Gave him a spare bolt pishtol. Already said I'm out of shells. [Unsteady thumbs up]
It's not like he'd know how to requi- requisishin more or anything.

[Leans on bar] Feth me, is that white rum? [Swaps bottle]

OOC: Hey guys. Just got a gallery here I want you to see.

Balor Daemon by KaptinBadrukk

Enjoy...

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
S'fine. Gave him a spare bolt pishtol. Already said I'm out of shells. [Unsteady thumbs up]
It's not like he'd know how to requi- requisishin more or anything.

[Leans on bar] Feth me, is that white rum? [Swaps bottle]

I still have my Lasgun, ex Commissar. And the batteries just finished recharging.

*Reloads Lasgun*

I shall show the enemies of man the light of the Emperor.

Hey now, I haven't endangered your Imperium the entire time I was here. I think. Well, I've never started a fight against the Imperium, and surely self defence can be forgiven.

Ex Commishar? [Looks alarmed] Am I dead? I don't feel dead. [Pats self down] ...???

And yer not supposhed to use a lasgun! Thassa two handed weapon and you need one hand for pointing and shouting!

[Finishes the rum bottle] This issa good place to sit. I will sit here. [Reaches for brandy]

Boltguns are now available for the use of Guard officers. And I was under the impression that yiu transferred your position to me.

[Stops patting self] Oh! Right! Yes!

I was more more making you a second commishar, but if you like the job, by all meansh. [Sits and watches] [Swigs directly from the bottle]

*Clears throat to do godly voice*

It's alright. Commissars can do field promotions without giving up their own rank, as says regulation, em, this one.

*Pulls out paper and writes "BC can stay Commissar" on it, and signs it with "Emperor"*

"Why do you Terrans always have to yell at each other?"

*Looks at Verviedi*

"YOU are the vaunted Emperor of Mankind? I'm hardly impressed."

*Knocks the bottle away from BC*

"I think you've had enough strong drinks today, Terran."

*The Cube gives TCL a long hard general look*

So... You gonna execute the heretics or what?
It's what any good Commissar would do!

*implied smile*

Good thing I'm not a heretic. Just a xenos looking for a paycheck and/or good variant of DNA.

 2BlackJack1 wrote:
Good thing I'm not a heretic. Just a xenos looking for a paycheck and/or good variant of DNA.

Imperial dogma states that all Xenos are Heretics, but that not all Heretics are Xenos
You'll be fine! It's not like they're all totally genocidal.

Hey, gettoff... Do you know how long it is sinsh I've been able to get drunk? They fitted me with bloody bionicsh.
[Swats at Zergsmasher ineffectively] [Goe back to drinking quietly]

[Looks at the cube] [Lifts it up and places it in a jar] [Pours scotch into the jar and screws the lid on again]

*picks up the jar and shakes it around*

Nice to see I'm not the only one who was trapped in a bottle.

 2BlackJack1 wrote:
*picks up the jar and shakes it around*

Nice to see I'm not the only one who was trapped in a bottle.

*The Cube's voice transcends physical barriers*

Piss off birdboy!
Drink up!