Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

She may he lying who knows. But I know she is a partie and know maybe not my type. Although who knows. I may try next year when IM down 30 more pounds, buff and shaved head

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
She may he lying who knows. But I know she is a partie and know maybe not my type. Although who knows. I may try next year when IM down 30 more pounds, buff and shaved head

Or alternatively you could find someone more worthy of your attentions.

Definitely, I meant to make a derp face. Who knows who I Will find in college.

 Albatross wrote:

 Barksdale wrote:
Big date tomorrow night. Met on Tinder. So many good vibes from this girl. We clicked immediately and have exactly the same sense of humour. Haven't been this excited in some time. Wish me luck!

Good luck mate! Sounds like you might just be on to a winner there!


RE: Ecstasy/Racism girl - She's probably lying about the ecstasy. Just my instant gut-reaction. You guys are teenagers, right? Or at least very young? Yeah, not buying it, sorry. She was probably just trying to sound cool, but that's just based on my reading of your posts. And she IS racist. Think about it, Would you have gotten away with saying that you hate asian kids and that they should be beaten more often? I doubt that.

I dunno man, I would have said at least half the teenagers at my school took X or MDMA at least once.

Beating kids just teaches them violence is a valid method of resolving conflict - espc for people weaker than urself.

 WallofMeat wrote:

 Albatross wrote:

 Barksdale wrote:
Big date tomorrow night. Met on Tinder. So many good vibes from this girl. We clicked immediately and have exactly the same sense of humour. Haven't been this excited in some time. Wish me luck!

Good luck mate! Sounds like you might just be on to a winner there!


RE: Ecstasy/Racism girl - She's probably lying about the ecstasy. Just my instant gut-reaction. You guys are teenagers, right? Or at least very young? Yeah, not buying it, sorry. She was probably just trying to sound cool, but that's just based on my reading of your posts. And she IS racist. Think about it, Would you have gotten away with saying that you hate asian kids and that they should be beaten more often? I doubt that.

I dunno man, I would have said at least half the teenagers at my school took X or MDMA at least once.

Beating kids just teaches them violence is a valid method of resolving conflict - espc for people weaker than urself.

I honestly think she is playing herself up. But I really dont care anymore
Onto beating kids, I think it is 100% wrong. You teach them that what it does hurts them, not why they shouldnt do it.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
She may he lying who knows. But I know she is a partie and know maybe not my type. Although who knows. I may try next year when IM down 30 more pounds, buff and shaved head

Yeaaaaaa...take it slow on the shaved head thing. But definitely do hit the gym and work on yourself...

Confidence definitely comes more from success than anything else. Once you've slayed a couple dragons you'll be that much more confident on the next one. If this girl you were aiming for was like a 7, maybe you should set your sights on a 4 or 5 for practice?

This came from a friend. He said if I should buff, he aid even if I dont loose weight and just get some bigger arms and shave my head(Or keep it short) I will look ifnitly better like several of our friends.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
If this girl you were aiming for was like a 7, maybe you should set your sights on a 4 or 5 for practice?

Are less beautiful girls really easier to get with? Also, is that not quite a bit dishonest to “use” girls “for practice”?

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
This came from a friend. He said if I should buff, he aid even if I dont loose weight and just get some bigger arms and shave my head(Or keep it short) I will look ifnitly better like several of our friends.

You mean that shaved head, facial hair, cargo shorts/kilt look? Eh, I dunno.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Also, is that not quite a bit dishonest to “use” girls “for practice”?

Well, if you're having trouble with women, the goal is to get out there and date...not instantly find a mate. It's a process. Every girl you meet up until you find one to settle down with (and for many not even then) is ultimately a learning experience along the path to your goal. I think this is a mistake a lot of guys in this situation make. They build things up too much, and think that they have to proceed straight to the serious long-term relationship. And sometimes they get too attached to the first girl that they date regularly and mistake her for long-term material when she isn't.

The possibly harsh truth is if a guy hasn't dated much, there's a good chance he isn't ready for "the one" even if he finds her. I wasn't good boyfriend material in my early 20s...had my wife and I met at that age, it's unlikely that we would gotten into anything long-term. It's not about being a nice guy, it's about knowing how to transition into, be in, and maintain a serious relationship.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
If this girl you were aiming for was like a 7, maybe you should set your sights on a 4 or 5 for practice?

Are less beautiful girls really easier to get with? Also, is that not quite a bit dishonest to “use” girls “for practice”?

1) Yes.

2) No. Not unless you lie to them and promise them the world. If you don't lie to them then there's nothing wrong with it. Fat chicks need love too...



Here's a pictorial-

If you look like this:



And you want a girl who looks like this:



You probably have a snowball's chance in hell unless you're filthy rich. However, you might have a shot with a girl who looks like this:




Not only because you're more ballpark in terms of physical attractiveness, but because you probably have similar lifestyles.

That chick is pretty hot for a fatty. Plus she plays video games.

RJCarrot wrote:
That chick is pretty hot for a fatty. Plus she plays video games.

Dude seriously, it is a known fact that a chick holding a video game controller automatically gets a +1 to their attractiveness score.

RJCarrot wrote:
Dude seriously, it is a known fact that a chick holding a video game controller automatically gets a +1 to their attractiveness score.

They get a -1 from me. Only video game addicts like other video game addicts.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
Fat chicks need love too...

Using people does not really feels like love…

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
Fat chicks need love too...

Using people does not really feels like love…

You think that women don't use men too?

That is totally not the point. I do not care whatever bad stuff women do, that is no excuse for doing bad stuff myself.
Unless if you mean a symmetric relationship where both partner use each other ? That is different.

Just a side note; I know there's 'easy' girls everywhere, but if I had reason to believe a boyfriend was considering me practice, I'd break up then and there.

So... Practice, I guess, if that's what keeps your watercraft on the surface. But you'd best not tell her if so!

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
Fat chicks need love too...

Using people does not really feels like love…

You think that women don't use men too?

I have a strong feeling you're one of those guys who got burned by a woman once or twice and is now extremely bitter about it.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
That is totally not the point. I do not care whatever bad stuff women do, that is no excuse for doing bad stuff myself.
Unless if you mean a symmetric relationship where both partner use each other ? That is different.

I believe the original idea was that women can be just as interested in a relationship predicated on simple casual sex as men can be and as long as you don't deceive the other party into believe it's more than that, everyone's happy.

That's not really "using" anyone.

 trexmeyer wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:
Fat chicks need love too...

Using people does not really feels like love…

You think that women don't use men too?

I have a strong feeling you're one of those guys who got burned by a woman once or twice and is now extremely bitter about it.

Not really the case at all. I'm just realistic these days - luckily I've been on the not-so-bad end of the deal when it comes to cheating women. Of the past 5 women I've slept with, one had a boyfriend in another country she neglected to tell me about, another is married (but getting divorced), another had a boyfriend that she told me about only after things had happened, and well...two were legit.

I'm not bothered by any of these - after all, I wasn't the one being cheated on. That said, I'm sure their boyfriends wouldn't be too happy if they knew the truth...

 gorgon wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
This came from a friend. He said if I should buff, he aid even if I dont loose weight and just get some bigger arms and shave my head(Or keep it short) I will look ifnitly better like several of our friends.

You mean that shaved head, facial hair, cargo shorts/kilt look? Eh, I dunno.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Also, is that not quite a bit dishonest to “use” girls “for practice”?

Well, if you're having trouble with women, the goal is to get out there and date...not instantly find a mate. It's a process. Every girl you meet up until you find one to settle down with (and for many not even then) is ultimately a learning experience along the path to your goal. I think this is a mistake a lot of guys in this situation make. They build things up too much, and think that they have to proceed straight to the serious long-term relationship. And sometimes they get too attached to the first girl that they date regularly and mistake her for long-term material when she isn't.

The possibly harsh truth is if a guy hasn't dated much, there's a good chance he isn't ready for "the one" even if he finds her. I wasn't good boyfriend material in my early 20s...had my wife and I met at that age, it's unlikely that we would gotten into anything long-term. It's not about being a nice guy, it's about knowing how to transition into, be in, and maintain a serious relationship.

honest question. What is boyfriend material in a long term relationship.

Depends on what the person is looking for.

 Cheesecat wrote:
Depends on what the person is looking for.

You can't make everyone happy, all of the time.

The most important things are:

1) Be yourself. A false persona can not be maintained.
2) Be kind and respectful, but firm and decisive. Especially the latter part, women are rarely attracted (or remain attracted to) indecisive men.
3) Be confident.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
honest question. What is boyfriend material in a long term relationship.

Stability, understanding what you want in life, etc. Essentially, are you able to commit to spending several years to the rest of your life with someone and be happy with that decision? Some people are ready for that kind of thing, some people aren't.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Ashiraya wrote:
Just a side note; I know there's 'easy' girls everywhere, but if I had reason to believe a boyfriend was considering me practice, I'd break up then and there.

This. FFS, don't use people as "practice" if you aren't actually interested in them. You'll hurt them, and you'll waste your own time. It's ok to lower/change your standards a bit and see what happens with someone that you might not be sure about, but don't go into a relationship with an assumption that you're not really interested and will dump them once you get what you need.

Using girls for practice is a valid tactic to boost confidence, albeit a very nasty one. I would advise against it very strongly. Speaking from experience (as stated before), you can really screw with the girl's head and actually experience very bad...well...experiences (like stalking and harassment etc.). Furthermore, those "easy" girls are usually more fragile mentally then the super-hot babes who do everyone they can (and use guys for practice, getting the name-starting-with-a-"s" plastered on them).

My advice is to lower your standards a bit and go from there. The prettier the girl, the more likely chance that you get kicked to the curb, get broken hearted and feeling miserable and lose confidence.

Less pretty girls (from the outside) usually are better relationship material as they probably aslo struggle with the same problems you have. Although it is easier for girls to "get some", most girls actually want a normal guy who stays loyal to them and not sleep around.

Tl;dr; Forget the Trophy Wife, go for the next best thing.

So, today I asked one of my best friends about advice on how to get a girlfriend. Not just for her advice, but also because it implied mentioning that I had no girlfriend and wanted one, which is something I am, for some reason, very uncomfortable doing (outside of anonymously on the internet). I had to push myself quite a bit, but I did it, yeah! It was a first.


On a mostly unrelated note, some friend and colleague told me she would date me if she was 20 years younger. I would date her too if she was 20 years younger .

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
So, today I asked one of my best friends about advice on how to get a girlfriend. Not just for her advice, but also because it implied mentioning that I had no girlfriend and wanted one, which is something I am, for some reason, very uncomfortable doing (outside of anonymously on the internet). I had to push myself quite a bit, but I did it, yeah! It was a first.

Congrats, mate! And what did she advice? Doesn't she have some friends who are also single which date you? It is a female friend, right?

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
On a mostly unrelated note, some friend and colleague told me she would date me if she was 20 years younger. I would date her too if she was 20 years younger .

Lol. Although dating a woman 20 years older could be good! Imagine all the experience she can teach you Doesn't she have a single daughter?

 Low_K wrote:
And what did she advice?

Among other stuff, spending less time on my computer, so I guess bye guys .

 Low_K wrote:
Doesn't she have some friends who are also single which date you?

None she mention.

 Low_K wrote:
It is a female friend, right?

Yeah.

 Low_K wrote:
Although dating a woman 20 years older could be good!

She has three kids and a partner already. So, no.

 Low_K wrote:
Doesn't she have a single daughter?

Nope, and her younger child is barely 16 anyway.

A very sexually active man is successful, a very sexually active woman is slutty.