Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.
NuggzTheNinja wrote: To be honest, if I'm not having sex with someone, I'd rather have a guy friend. My interests (gaming, shooting, weight lifting) are generally male-dominated and I'd rather do them with a "buddy" than some girl who is only pretending she's having fun
NuggzTheNinja wrote: To be honest, if I'm not having sex with someone, I'd rather have a guy friend. My interests (gaming, shooting, weight lifting) are generally male-dominated and I'd rather do them with a "buddy" than some girl who is only pretending she's having fun
I have plenty of female friends that are 'just friends' . I enjoy the company of women a great deal. They're fun and don't try to impress each other as much as men do. There always seems to be less of a pecking order. If someone gave me a straight choice between having only female friends and only having male friends, I'd pick the former every time.
There are few things I enjoy in life as much as making a woman laugh.
Yeah, I like spending time with girls too and I love making people laugh. Then again I try to treat each person I meet as a unique experience where I adjust my personality accordingly, rather than this person is a girl or a guy so I need to do this and act like this.
Cheesecat wrote: Yeah, I like spending time with girls too and I love making people laugh. Then again I try to treat each person I meet as a unique experience where I adjust my personality accordingly, rather than this person is a girl or a guy so I need to do this and act like this.
Don't you find the dynamic to be subtly different though, in a group of girls?
It probably is, but I don't know if I'm observant enough to notice though, cause I try to invest myself in the conversation so I'm not really thinking if a more female-dominated group feels any different than a male one. OK there is one thing I notice is that in male-dominated groups the subjects
NuggzTheNinja wrote: To be honest, if I'm not having sex with someone, I'd rather have a guy friend. My interests (gaming, shooting, weight lifting) are generally male-dominated and I'd rather do them with a "buddy" than some girl who is only pretending she's having fun
I am very sorry I exist, good sir.
We all know female gamers dont exist
Im sorry.
1v1 me.
In the context of a dating thread that could be an entirely different proposition, potentially with an entirely different answer.
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
NuggzTheNinja wrote: To be honest, if I'm not having sex with someone, I'd rather have a guy friend. My interests (gaming, shooting, weight lifting) are generally male-dominated and I'd rather do them with a "buddy" than some girl who is only pretending she's having fun
I am very sorry I exist, good sir.
We all know female gamers dont exist
Im sorry.
1v1 me.
In the context of a dating thread that could be an entirely different proposition, potentially with an entirely different answer.
Albatross wrote: I have plenty of female friends that are 'just friends' . I enjoy the company of women a great deal. They're fun and don't try to impress each other as much as men do. There always seems to be less of a pecking order. If someone gave me a straight choice between having only female friends and only having male friends, I'd pick the former every time.
There are few things I enjoy in life as much as making a woman laugh.
I manage to weird everyone the feth out, so the choice for me is largely just a formality, or maybe a challenge of which group can I indirectly loathe me first.
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
NuggzTheNinja wrote: To be honest, if I'm not having sex with someone, I'd rather have a guy friend. My interests (gaming, shooting, weight lifting) are generally male-dominated and I'd rather do them with a "buddy" than some girl who is only pretending she's having fun
I am very sorry I exist, good sir.
We all know female gamers dont exist
Im sorry.
1v1 me.
In the context of a dating thread that could be an entirely different proposition, potentially with an entirely different answer.
Admittedly true...
Maybe nerd men in general need to start getting more interested in like their interests? (oh and loads of girls exist that are into these 'boy' things - also, whats this 'pretends to have fun business' ?)
: 1000+
: 1000+
1500+ (they didnt have one for Bretonnians)
Also + BFG Fleets
Oh and now
NuggzTheNinja wrote: To be honest, if I'm not having sex with someone, I'd rather have a guy friend. My interests (gaming, shooting, weight lifting) are generally male-dominated and I'd rather do them with a "buddy" than some girl who is only pretending she's having fun
I am very sorry I exist, good sir.
We all know female gamers dont exist
Im sorry.
1v1 me.
In the context of a dating thread that could be an entirely different proposition, potentially with an entirely different answer.
Admittedly true...
Maybe nerd men in general need to start getting more interested in like their interests? (oh and loads of girls exist that are into these 'boy' things - also, whats this 'pretends to have fun business' ?)
Show me 5 attractive women in the state of Pennsylvania who are into 40k. Let me put it this way - the girls I've seen at the FLGS I wouldn't touch with a 60 ft pole. And, at best, those women who are rarely into multiple male-dominated activities are, by the looks of them, are definitely NOT fitness enthusiasts.
This is of course rhetorical, as I'm pretty sure that there are fewer than 5 attractive women in the state of Pennsylvania who are into 40k. Meanwhile, if I'm just looking for a platonic friend, finding guys who are into 40k, and shooting guns, and weightlifting, is relatively easy. So why not just get "all of the above" in a friend rather than trying to find the rare woman who shares any of those interests with me, let alone more than one?
I repeat - take sex out of the equation and 99/100 times you're better off finding a guy friend (assuming that you're heterosexual of course).
This message was edited 4 times. Last update was at 2014/08/22 12:46:39
This is making me think of the movie Swingers where they are giving Jeremy Piven's(?) character dating advice.
"You have to be in the right mental state. You have to think of yourself as a big, mean, hungry bear. Look at those hands.... those are huge claws! So those girls over there? They're little bunny rabbits just hopping around all innocent like. Take yor huge bear claws, go over there, and tear them apart!"
Tha scene makes me laugh everytime. It doesn;t hurt that I then merge it with amental image of Jay from Jay and Silent Bob doing his Wolverine impression.
Support Blood and Spectacles Publishing:
https://www.patreon.com/Bloodandspectaclespublishing
Show me 5 attractive women in the state of Pennsylvania who are into 40k. Let me put it this way - the girls I've seen at the FLGS I wouldn't touch with a 60 ft pole. And, at best, those women who are rarely into multiple male-dominated activities are, by the looks of them, are definitely NOT fitness enthusiasts.
Why is their attractiveness relevant if they're strictly platonic friends? The males involved in 40k are typically just as unattractive as the women involved. Generally speaking, wargamers, LARPers, tabletop RPGers, etc tend to be unattractive, have poor hygiene, and are a socially awkward. Not necessarily shy, mind you, but don't know how to act in public or around others. Of course, this is just in my area. I'd be very glad to hear it isn't as bad in other locales.
This is of course rhetorical, as I'm pretty sure that there are fewer than 5 attractive women in the state of Pennsylvania who are into 40k. Meanwhile, if I'm just looking for a platonic friend, finding guys who are into 40k, and shooting guns, and weightlifting, is relatively easy. So why not just get "all of the above" in a friend rather than trying to find the rare woman who shares any of those interests with me, let alone more than one?
Spoiler:
Outside of CrossFit the women actually into "fitness" (you're not into weightlifting unless you snatch and clean and jerk) are divided into three groups.
1) Cardio bunnies (they still haven't lost any weight)
2) Wannabe fitness competitors that somehow get away with only wearing a sports bra and skin tight short shorts to the gym. I swear to god they're all attention whores...
3) Horribly out of shape (read borderline obese) women that claim to be into fitness. How you go to a gym for a year while obese and not shed 40 lbs is beyond my comprehension
I repeat - take sex out of the equation and 99/100 times you're better off finding a guy friend (assuming that you're heterosexual of course).
This is the point where you've reduced women to being sexual objects that are inferior to men. Personally, I don't like having female friends either, but not because we don't share interests. I'm really tired of girls assuming that just because you're being nice to them it means you want them to jump your bones. There's too much sexual tension and it's simpler to just avoid it.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/08/22 14:30:33
The only way we can ever solve anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy
Yeah I dont have that many female friends either (i mean that i'd see one on one) - my point is - my gf gets me more than any of my male friends - we have fairly similar overlap in interests (I mean she dosnt like 40k, but will like by me related bday presents for it - I think devious maids is a kind of a dumb show ect). This said - we have introduced each other to alot of new things, valuable things and like just new genres of tv shows and like other interests - and instead of being all like 'oh shes not into my kind of stuff' is it maybe better to go for someone you like a bit and sharing a bit of yourself and seeing how that makes you feel?
Look - im actually not sure what im talking about and im conflicted myself - but I don't really want to live in a world where women and men just really focus on their own genders and dont include one another. I just see alot of this 'internet feminism' and casual misogyny and it feels like boys and girls arnt listening to each other and end up acting weird or fronty.
: 1000+
: 1000+
1500+ (they didnt have one for Bretonnians)
Also + BFG Fleets
Oh and now
So you are looking for a female that likes 40K and is a fitness enthusiast?
Good luck.
Its hard enough to find a male that plays 40K that is in shape.
I would say 99% of people who think they can't get a date usually have their standards set too high. I had a lot of friends in high school / college that had this same problem and not until they got realistic with their expectations way down the line did they manage to find a girlfriend/wife.
Show me 5 attractive women in the state of Pennsylvania who are into 40k. Let me put it this way - the girls I've seen at the FLGS I wouldn't touch with a 60 ft pole. And, at best, those women who are rarely into multiple male-dominated activities are, by the looks of them, are definitely NOT fitness enthusiasts.
Why is their attractiveness relevant if they're strictly platonic friends? The males involved in 40k are typically just as unattractive as the women involved. Generally speaking, wargamers, LARPers, tabletop RPGers, etc tend to be unattractive, have poor hygiene, and are a socially awkward. Not necessarily shy, mind you, but don't know how to act in public or around others. Of course, this is just in my area. I'd be very glad to hear it isn't as bad in other locales.
This is of course rhetorical, as I'm pretty sure that there are fewer than 5 attractive women in the state of Pennsylvania who are into 40k. Meanwhile, if I'm just looking for a platonic friend, finding guys who are into 40k, and shooting guns, and weightlifting, is relatively easy. So why not just get "all of the above" in a friend rather than trying to find the rare woman who shares any of those interests with me, let alone more than one?
Spoiler:
Outside of CrossFit the women actually into "fitness" (you're not into weightlifting unless you snatch and clean and jerk) are divided into three groups.
1) Cardio bunnies (they still haven't lost any weight)
2) Wannabe fitness competitors that somehow get away with only wearing a sports bra and skin tight short shorts to the gym. I swear to god they're all attention whores...
3) Horribly out of shape (read borderline obese) women that claim to be into fitness. How you go to a gym for a year while obese and not shed 40 lbs is beyond my comprehension
I repeat - take sex out of the equation and 99/100 times you're better off finding a guy friend (assuming that you're heterosexual of course).
This is the point where you've reduced women to being sexual objects that are inferior to men. Personally, I don't like having female friends either, but not because we don't share interests. I'm really tired of girls assuming that just because you're being nice to them it means you want them to jump your bones. There's too much sexual tension and it's simpler to just avoid it.
So, there were two threads of logic in my post. Women who would provide me everything I could possibly look for in another human being - compatibility with all of my mutual interests, AND sex, and women with whom I'd consider being friends. Regarding the "ultimate mate", since such a creature likely does not exist (a woman who is attractive and has all of the qualities of a good mate, yet shares mutual interests with me), I'm OK with dating women and not expecting them to scratch my "bro time" itch. It's healthiest this way to keep your interests separated.
The other thread of logic is women who I would consider to be platonic friends. My argument is that the probability of finding ONE woman who shares ALL of my mutual interests, independent of attractiveness, is slim to none. If I found such a woman, I would have no problem being platonic friends with her. As it is, I have yet to find such a person and that's why I have no problem having platonic male friends, and avoiding taking female "just friends."
I'm not saying women are inferior to men. I'm saying that women make inferior platonic friends for me. There's nothing wrong with that at all.
As for the point about weight lifting, let's not open that can of worms. You remember how it went for you last time you told everyone in OT that they were "doing it wrong."
My current girlfriend doesn't fit into that category - she's a competitive triathlete. I guess that's a "cardio bunny" in your eyes, but then again I'm not a "weight lifter" in your eyes despite being stronger and in better shape than like 90% of the bodybuilding.com population.
To address RJCarrot's post - specifically that is NOT what I'm looking for. I'm looking for (and have found) a mate with whom I enjoy spending time. She shares very few mutual interests with me besides drinking, sex, socializing, fitness, and watching television. That's completely OK with me. I'm not looking for the same thing in a woman as I look for in a guy friend, something which many of the posters here are failing to grasp. They think that their ideal girlfriend is basically their neckbeard guy friends, only with a vagina. It doesn't work that way.
This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2014/08/22 18:57:28
A cardiobunny is someone that spends hours upon hours on typically the elliptical and occasionally "jogging". A real marathoner (someone doing sub 4 hours) or a triathlon competitor is an actual athelete.
It doesn't matter if you're bigger/stronger than the people on bb. They're so fethed over there that they think a two plate bench is actually good... Weightlifting is a sport. Unless you participate in that sport you're not a weightlifter. It may be nitpicky terminology to the masses, but consensus truth doesn't change facts.
Spoiler:
I'm currently cutting weight on a high fat diet without experiencing any strength loss. Deadlifted 505 no belt at 190, 5lb pr and it was about 15lbs lighter than my previous 500 deadlift. Yeah, I'm the one doing it wrong.
The only way we can ever solve anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy
trexmeyer wrote: A cardiobunny is someone that spends hours upon hours on typically the elliptical and occasionally "jogging". A real marathoner (someone doing sub 4 hours) or a triathlon competitor is an actual athelete.
It doesn't matter if you're bigger/stronger than the people on bb. They're so fethed over there that they think a two plate bench is actually good... Weightlifting is a sport. Unless you participate in that sport you're not a weightlifter. It may be nitpicky terminology to the masses, but consensus truth doesn't change facts.
Spoiler:
I'm currently cutting weight on a high fat diet without experiencing any strength loss. Deadlifted 505 no belt at 190, 5lb pr and it was about 15lbs lighter than my previous 500 deadlift. Yeah, I'm the one doing it wrong.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Look up weightlifting in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Weightlifting may refer to: Olympic weightlifting, Olympic sport
Weight training, physical activities in which people lift weights, also known as weight training Powerlifting, a strength-based sport
Weightlifting (album), by the The Trash Can Sinatras
Second date went really well. Just as expected really. Can't believe how much I've lucked out. Right place right time I suppose.
Anyway, we watched When Harry Met Sally on Thursday afternoon, and had a very similar discussion about having friends of the opposite sex. For me, it's definitely doable. Having friends with a wide variety of interests and experiences is important. It's inevitable at least some of their interests will differ from mine, whether they are male or female.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/08/23 13:38:35
WallofMeat wrote: Maybe nerd men in general need to start getting more interested in like their interests? (oh and loads of girls exist that are into these 'boy' things - also, whats this 'pretends to have fun business' ?)
Show me 5 attractive women in the state of Pennsylvania who are into 40k.
[...]
Finding 5 attractive women in Pennsylvania is hard enough, but if you set the difficulty up to 13 by having one interest in your life and, that one being about playing "pew pew, killed your toy soldier with my leizah"...
Having interests that are "mostly male" or even "not so hot" is fine, as long as you can tell interesting stories about your hobbies to people (not only girls) who are not insiders.
I play rugby, and even if girls usually don't play that game, they love to hear about how things went when I held my first ball in an official match.
Spoiler:
Still green (only 2-3 trainings...), so I made the wisest move a beginner can make: panic and try to save my life by running away in the wrong direction. My teammates were like...
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2014/08/24 22:40:14
Daemonhammer wrote: I wonder how far i could go with a "Terry Pratchett ish" approach, "You are only as atractive as you think you are". What do you guys think?
Also i hope i didnt say something that sounds stupid again, i hope atleast the people who read his books will inderstand this.
That's not necessarily a false statement.
The only way we can ever solve anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy
Yeah, most times in life you only achieve to the level you think you deserve. Want and expect good things to happen to you and they will. Expect the reverse, and that will happen too.
Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean instant success. If you want, expect and think you deserve something, you'll end up working to get it. In the case of dating that "work" means getting out there, asking girls out, going on dates, and learning how to date, be a good boyfriend, etc.
For me confidence isnt really a problem, i just have pesonality problem, at times i have a good humor and at other times i can feel depressed for no apparent reason.
motyak wrote:[...] Yes, the mods are illuminati, and yakface, lego and dakka dakka itself are the 3 points of the triangle.
Daemonhammer wrote: For me confidence isnt really a problem, i just have pesonality problem, at times i have a good humor and at other times i can feel depressed for no apparent reason.
Go see a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. Now. Get that gak under control or it will controll you for the rest of your life.
Daemonhammer wrote: For me confidence isnt really a problem, i just have pesonality problem, at times i have a good humor and at other times i can feel depressed for no apparent reason.
Go see a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. Now. Get that gak under control or it will controll you for the rest of your life.
Even if i wanted to, i couldnt, im just a poor student.
motyak wrote:[...] Yes, the mods are illuminati, and yakface, lego and dakka dakka itself are the 3 points of the triangle.