NOW! is the time for your completely false and made up Dark Eldar rumors!

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**ClockworkZion**

New models will be sculpted by Jes Goodwin, but only using his feet, because after years of making Eldar and Dark Eldar he wanted a new challenge.

**Exergy**

There actually will not be a 7th edition DE codex.
Instead there will be a coven supplement that modifies the 5th edition codex by allowing you to take a few Relics, roll on a coven warlord trait table, and field Grotesques with +1 Ld in exchange for not taking anything but Wracks, Haemoculuses, Grotesques, and vehicles that have wrack crew.

**Grim.Badger**

Starting with the Dark Eldar, 1 in every 100 non-Imperial boxes will, instead of the proper sprues, contain a melted disc of plastic and a Callidus Assassin.

Similarly, 1 in every 100 Space Marine boxes will soon contain Alpha Legionnaires instead of their proper contents.

**Kid_Kyoto**

96-Without irony, someone will write pages of fluff detailing how the DE are totally badass because they torture helpless prisoners. It will never dawn on the author that torturing helpless prisonsers is pretty much the opposite of being a badass.

No.

Wait.

That's a true rumor.

**Iron_Captain**

Frozen Ocean wrote:

These are Night Lords:

"Rawr! With these bat wings on our heads, we are the epitome of fearsome!"

The Epitome of Fearsome and the Masters of Stealth!

**Ovion**

The special edition,
even though the previous few with a Codex, Artbook and Supplement, with Marker Coins in a magnetic Hardcase have been £100-110,
will only have a Slip Cover and cost £150 instead.

owait. :(

**BobNT**

GW will give away a 1500pt DE starter army to anyone that advance orders the new DE codex.

Said Codex will cost $9.99 upfront, then just 48
easy monthly payments of $99.99, plus 4 vials of blood from your first born son.

**vipoid**

BobNT wrote:
GW will give away a 1500pt DE starter army to anyone that advance orders the new DE codex.

Said Codex will cost $9.99 upfront, then just 48
easy monthly payments of $99.99, plus 4 vials of blood from your first born son.

This thread is only for false rumours. Please read the title next time.

**keltikhoa**

Sooo... I am curious now, What book is it that Space Bat Man single handedly fights off an Dark Eldar Invasion?

-on topic-

For the true Dark Eldar commander, GW recommends use of the new Citidel brand eye liner (with a whole line of gamer inspired makeup to follow shortly)

**Crimson Heretic**

i heard they eat crayons

**Bronzefists42**

Crimson Heretic wrote:
i heard they eat crayons

I heard on Tuesdays they meet up with craftworld eldar at crayon eating parties.

**Happyjew**

Bronzefists42 wrote:
Crimson Heretic wrote:
i heard they eat crayons

I heard on Tuesdays they meet up with craftworld eldar at crayon eating parties.

It's actually on Wednesdays.

I mean...look is that a Daemonic Duck of some sort?

**Kid_Kyoto**

107 - In order to keep the Dark Eldar relvent to the 21st century the first Dataslate will be Black Eldar - also known as the Elfs who are Black and also in Space and Into Gangsta Rap as understood by a 50-year old White Guy. Black Eldar are very x2 scary. They wear their pants around their hips so their underwear shows, and they hold their Space Guns sideways and they listen to Loud Music and flash gang signs All The Time. Their fearsome battle cry of 'Wassupdawg 'chills the blood of 50 year old white guys everywhere.

**TheCustomLime**

108- To help the reader immerse themselves in the horrible amount of pain Dark Eldar inflict upon common humans the Codex will have glass shards embedded in it, have it's wargear prices and rules listed in the most inconvenient places possible, bound with razor wire and will be printed in Comic Sans.

**Happyjew**

I can deal with glass shards and razor wire, but please for the love of all that is holy, not Comic Sans.

**Unyielding Hunger**

109. Wanting to appeal to a younger crowd, Vect's fluff has been retconned heavily. He still climbed his way to the top, but now it is revealed that he is incredibly saddened by his acts, and disappears for long lengths of time alone in the webway towards the direction of the Ulthwe Craftword, always returning home sad and depressed, trapped in a life he no longer wants.

110. Due to the large scale pillaging and kidnapping of other races, along with the Eldar race being in decline, it is revealed that the Dark Eldar have resorted to bringing in their own hybrid offspring which are immune to Slaanesh, to help them.

**Kid_Kyoto**

111 - in order to update the concept and appeal to the primal fears of GW current fan base the DE will drop their 'torture, enslave, mutilate' theme for one of 'marry, have kids, pay the mortgage'. New troop types will include DE mother in laws, DE daycare bills and the dreaded DE IRS auditor.

**kitch102**

Prior to deployment, the de player must roll a D6 for each unit and IC taken. On a 6, nothing happens. On a 1-5, that unit disappears temporarily with a copy of "The Xenos Next Door" and a box of tissues. The unit is automatically placed in reserves and, on arrival, is reduced to ws1 & BS1, due to the sudden wave of relaxation they feel.

And if you'd like to play this rule cinematically...

**Jihadin**

Military Discount

**Insane Smile**

Boobs. Boobs, boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs. Boobs? Boobs. Boobs? Boobs. Boobs? Boobs boobs. Boobs? Boobs! Boobs boobs! BOOBS!!!

Welp that's all I ever got out of DE

**ClockworkZion**

112. Dark Eldar will be allowed to take troop choices from other codexes with no upgrades as part of their new "Slaves to the Pain" rule. These units will be treated of allies of convenience who give out Pain Tokens everytime at least one model in the unit is killed.

**squidhills**

113. All DE now have the following statline: WS4, BS4, S4, T4, I4, W1, A1, Ld 8, and have the ATSKNF USR, along with a 3+ save from power armor. Gotta sell those SM model kits somehow!

**TheCustomLime**

114: Instead of the original cover being a painting of a hot topic reject standing in the middle of a barren battlefield with some cadian corpses lying around looking all edgy and cool the new codex cover will consist of Lelith dueling a Necron Lord. The Cadian corpses are staying, though. Jes Goodwin was very insistent on them.

**jhe90**

Happyjew wrote:
I can deal with glass shards and razor wire, but please for the love of all that is holy, not Comic Sans.

Comic sans, oh my of all the dark eldar tortures and such. Comic sans is a monsterous heresy!

**BunkerBob**

Am I the only one hoping for a solid middle road codex to enjoy?

**Psienesis**

Wyches will now have subtle, but indisputably present, bumps beneath their loincloths. How far do you think DEldar go in body modification surgery?

**vipoid**

Are you tired of buying new books for your armies? Well, for the low, low price of £199.99, you can own an official army codex updating kit for every future edition of 40k! Here's a sneak peek at what's inside:

[Step d6] Choose d3+1 special characters, then remove the rest.

...

[Step d6+2] For each item of wargear, roll a d6. If it's a Tuesday, there's a crescent moon and you rolled a 6, remove d3x5pts from the item's cost. if you rolled a 1, it's Thursday and your blood tipe is AB Posative, instead add d6x5pts to the item's cost. If it's between 2.37pm and 622am on Sunday and you rolled a 3, consult Random Table #46 in appendix 1 for further details...

...

[Step 2d6-2] Pick 2d6 units, selected randomly via Random Table 32 in appendix 4, and then roll a further d6 for each of them and consult the table below:
2-4 On a d6 result of 2, consult Random Table 22 in Appendix 2. On a result of 3-5 Consult Random Table 41 in Appendix 3. On a result of 6, consult Random Table 4 in Appendix 1, and follow its instructions to find out which table to roll on.
5-6 Roll an additional d6 times on this table. Further results of 5-6 stack.

...

[Step (4d6)x(1d6+5)+(2d6-2)x(238d6-162)] Most importantly, since some of these steps are influenced by the day, time, phase of the moon, blood type etc., all alterations to the codex should be rolled for at the beginning of every game. Also remember that these updates must be applied an additional time for each successive edition of 40k.

**Psienesis**

[Step (4d6)x(1d6+5)+(2d6-2)x(238d6-162)]

Ah, you've played Earthdawn, I see.

**Happyjew**

The Dark Eldar will get their own version of the Avatar. He will have the following stats:

WS: D6+4
BS: D6+4
S: D4+4
T: D4+4
W: D4+3
I: D4+6
A: D4+1
Ld: 10
Sv: 2+/4+

**TheCustomLime**

The new codex will be printed in all new Citadel finepaper. This exciting new medium is a blend of cellulose and pig skin for added durability. Your codex will never tear due to overzealous kids and a frustrating game against the Necrons.

We are also releasing a Citadel sewing kit to help in the unlikely event your Citadel finepaper tears. Only for £19.99!