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 Kilkrazy wrote:
I very much doubt all 37M members are men. The site only works if the gender ratio is fairly level. Quite a lot of them may not even be married, and just using it to get committment freee shagging.

It seems a bit harsh to bnlanket blame evveryone involved. However Europeans tend to take a more relaxed view of such things.

Actually the moment I entered this thread I started matching flags to harsh comments. I've not been disappointed.

M.

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

Yes, and you deceive your partner because you don't want to leave them, or you would just leave, or have open liaisons.

 plastictrees wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

I have read what he is saying and agree with it... don't agree with you that he's trolling. I suspect his relationship is actually working quite well.

 Kilkrazy wrote:
Yes, and you deceive your partner because you don't want to leave them, or you would just leave, or have open liaisons.

Yeah, I'm sure that people having affairs are out for the best for their partner!

...except they're not. It's egotistic, fulfillment of some sort of desires that they feel need to be fulfilled. You are breaking the promise you made and the commitment of a relationship to fulfill your own need to bang someone else.

If you have an "open relationship" there shouldn't be any problem with telling your spouse all about this.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Duce wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

I have read what he is saying and agree with it... don't agree with you that he's trolling. I suspect his relationship is actually working quite well.

Yeah, because "clean my house and have sex with me whenever I want or I'll throw you out of my house" sounds like a very healthy relationship.

 thenoobbomb wrote:



Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Duce wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

I have read what he is saying and agree with it... don't agree with you that he's trolling. I suspect his relationship is actually working quite well.

Yeah, because "clean my house and have sex with me whenever I want or I'll throw you out of my house" sounds like a very healthy relationship.

When did I say that? I am a reasonable man, I would explain she is not holding up her side of the relationship and give her a warning to fix it first.

I will not work full time, clean the house and pay for everything because ït would be mean of me not to when my GF sits around doing nothing all day".

Explain where my relationship is wrong please? I mean I have lasted 6 years at the age of 21 with the same women, I must be doing something right yea?

Or do you have some weird thing about women and cleaning being evil all the time or something? She is not a child and is free to leave whenever she pleases. Please don't demean my partner because you disagree with our decisions.

I honestly do not understand what is wrong with how we do things. If sex is important to me, then I expect my partner be able to satisfy that need. That is very fair yes?

Well if she's getting to live there and enjoy it then it should be expected she earn her keep. If he and her agreed for her to clean the house then that's up to them, and it does sound a good deal to clean for 20 hours while he works to support her and him.

Re sex, surely if their in a relationship and fancy each other then that should be something happening frequently? I don't see him saying the sex has to be when he wants it. Have I missed this point from a previous post?

 Swastakowey wrote:

When did I say that? I am a reasonable man, I would explain she is not holding up her side of the relationship and give her a warning to fix it first.

And her side of the relationship is exactly that. Cleaning the house and sex.

How gratious of you to give a warning, though!

I will not work full time, clean the house and pay for everything because ït would be mean of me not to when my GF sits around doing nothing all day".

Except that your girlfriend also has a job - you both pay for things, I assume, and you can also both do some housekeeping.

Explain where my relationship is wrong please? I mean I have lasted 6 years at the age of 21 with the same women, I must be doing something right yea?

I don't know, judging by your posts it just seems like you're forcing her to do all these things or you'll kick her out!

 Duce wrote:
Well if she's getting to live there and enjoy it then it should be expected she earn her keep. If he and her agreed for her to clean the house then that's up to them, and it does sound a good deal to clean for 20 hours while he works to support her and him.

Re sex, surely if their in a relationship and fancy each other then that should be something happening frequently? I don't see him saying the sex has to be when he wants it. Have I missed this point from a previous post?

You are correct. They are assuming because she cleans I am some kind of nasty person?

I would love to have my current lifestyle and work 20 hours a week, which is effectively what she has.

As for the sex, if someone wasn;t getting enough sex then something is wrong or they are not compatible. Unless they think one person should suffer in the relationship.

 Duce wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

I have read what he is saying and agree with it... don't agree with you that he's trolling. I suspect his relationship is actually working quite well.

What happens when/if the relationship stops working and his girlfriend's got no retirement savings, little to no job experience and nowhere to live?

 Swastakowey wrote:

 thenoobbomb wrote:



Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Duce wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

I have read what he is saying and agree with it... don't agree with you that he's trolling. I suspect his relationship is actually working quite well.

Yeah, because "clean my house and have sex with me whenever I want or I'll throw you out of my house" sounds like a very healthy relationship.

When did I say that? I am a reasonable man, I would explain she is not holding up her side of the relationship and give her a warning to fix it first.

I will not work full time, clean the house and pay for everything because ït would be mean of me not to when my GF sits around doing nothing all day".

Explain where my relationship is wrong please? I mean I have lasted 6 years at the age of 21 with the same women, I must be doing something right yea?

Or do you have some weird thing about women and cleaning being evil all the time or something? She is not a child and is free to leave whenever she pleases. Please don't demean my partner because you disagree with our decisions.

I honestly do not understand what is wrong with how we do things. If sex is important to me, then I expect my partner be able to satisfy that need. That is very fair yes?

I'm honestly not sure how your post is being viewed in a negative light.

I did something similar with my now wife and she does the stay at home mum who cleans and looks after the house while I work. If anything she gets to enjoy life more as she's not stuck in a 9-5.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:

 Duce wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

I have read what he is saying and agree with it... don't agree with you that he's trolling. I suspect his relationship is actually working quite well.

What happens when/if the relationship stops working and his girlfriend's got no retirement savings, little to no job experience and nowhere to live?

that all depends on a vast number of reasons, was it her fault, did she choose to leave, why did he dump her etc. she's a big girl I'm sure she knows what she's doing and is not forced into this by him. As I said there are lots of variables so answer will vary

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:

 Duce wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

I have read what he is saying and agree with it... don't agree with you that he's trolling. I suspect his relationship is actually working quite well.

What happens when/if the relationship stops working and his girlfriend's got no retirement savings, little to no job experience and nowhere to live?

She has family... She also chose that risk. As long as she does her thing then it is a pretty low risk. She is not a child.

I personally find it a rather bad thing when one person in a relationship is dependent on the other.

 Duce wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 thenoobbomb wrote:



Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Duce wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

 plastictrees wrote:
Jesus Christ. You aren't rolling the dice on a mobile vagina that can also hold a pan and a mop, you're sharing your life with someone you love and that makes you a better person through that sharing.
Do women not have jobs in New Zealand anymore? Maybe a 21 year old shouldn't be hanging around with so many 40 year old divorced guys.

Yes she has a part time job a few hours a day. Why does she need anything more? I earn enough and I would rather a clean house. Something wrong with that?

I mean it's like you guys think im some women beater because my GF cleans while I work and cooks when I get home. If anything she has it easy. We share the jobs I.E I work 50 hours a week and she works less than 20 and cleans. I wish I could clean up after 2 people and then do what I please most of the day.

How is this not sharing again? If she however stops doing what little she needs to do then currently I am free to make her move out. Because as you say it's about sharing and I will not be picking up the slack etc.

How has anything I said been wrong? Would you tolerate doing everything? If so then fine.

Must be trolling at this point.
You're relationship sounds very sad and your visionof what can be shared in a relationship very small indeed.

I have read what he is saying and agree with it... don't agree with you that he's trolling. I suspect his relationship is actually working quite well.

Yeah, because "clean my house and have sex with me whenever I want or I'll throw you out of my house" sounds like a very healthy relationship.

When did I say that? I am a reasonable man, I would explain she is not holding up her side of the relationship and give her a warning to fix it first.

I will not work full time, clean the house and pay for everything because ït would be mean of me not to when my GF sits around doing nothing all day".

Explain where my relationship is wrong please? I mean I have lasted 6 years at the age of 21 with the same women, I must be doing something right yea?

Or do you have some weird thing about women and cleaning being evil all the time or something? She is not a child and is free to leave whenever she pleases. Please don't demean my partner because you disagree with our decisions.

I honestly do not understand what is wrong with how we do things. If sex is important to me, then I expect my partner be able to satisfy that need. That is very fair yes?

I'm honestly not sure how your post is being viewed in a negative light.

I did something similar with my now wife and she does the stay at home mum who cleans and looks after the house while I work. If anything she gets to enjoy life more as she's not stuck in a 9-5.

I know. Honestly I see no reason to be upset. I mean I am providing her with an easy life yet they are angry?

 Swastakowey wrote:

I know. Honestly I see no reason to be upset. I mean I am providing her with an easy life yet they are angry?

Have you done housekeeping yourself? It's not as little work or as easy as you might think if done well...

Either way, to get back on topic, you said you could perfectly understand a man cheating if is wife couldn't "satisfy his needs" or "became fat" and such, does this go the same for the woman in this heterosexual relationship if the man can't "satisfy her needs" and "became fat"?

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

I know. Honestly I see no reason to be upset. I mean I am providing her with an easy life yet they are angry?

Have you done housekeeping yourself? It's not as little work or as easy as you might think if done well...

Either way, to get back on topic, you said you could perfectly understand a man cheating if is wife couldn't "satisfy his needs" or "became fat" and such, does this go the same for the woman in this heterosexual relationship if the man can't "satisfy her needs" and "became fat"?

Cleaning our house is easy. There are only 2 people here. I grew up in a family of 7, I know a mess and I know the pain of cleaning it.

On topic I was merely saying I can see the trap these people may feel they are in. A partner that has let themselves go too much or will not sleep with them (or is even emotionally distant etc). Their options may be to cheat or divorce or to suck it up. I can imagine there are millions of people who chose one of those 3 options (obviously since there are so many divorces or dead bedrooms and people who use sites like the above).

I also said if you read that I personally would never cheat nor do I excuse them. I personally am going to avoid marriage to avoid a sticky situation like the above.

Swastakowey wrote:
I know. Honestly I see no reason to be upset. I mean I am providing her with an easy life yet they are angry?

Mate, you're coming across as the most misogynistic person on Dakka right now, a relic of the 1950s who believes that marriage is simply a housing contract. You're missing the point of marriage altogether. It's not just some "deal" you make with a woman because you want someone to clean your house and make snu snu with.

It's a declaration of love. Your wife is someone you marry because they're someone you love, someone you cherish and adore. They should be your equal. They should challenge you to make yourself a better person.

Clearly, this is not how you feel if you think that you might have to give her a warning for not cleaning the house or making you dinner.

As for the people cheating on their SOs? I am genuinely sorry for the innocent people that'll be hurt by this. But I hope the cheating dicks get what's coming to them.

 liquidjoshi wrote:

Swastakowey wrote:
I know. Honestly I see no reason to be upset. I mean I am providing her with an easy life yet they are angry?

Mate, you're coming across as the most misogynistic person on Dakka right now, a relic of the 1950s who believes that marriage is simply a housing contract. You're missing the point of marriage altogether. It's not just some "deal" you make with a woman because you want someone to clean your house and make snu snu with.

It's a declaration of love. Your wife is someone you marry because they're someone you love, someone you cherish and adore. They should be your equal. They should challenge you to make yourself a better person.

Clearly, this is not how you feel if you think that you might have to give her a warning for not cleaning the house or making you dinner.

As for the people cheating on their SOs? I am genuinely sorry for the innocent people that'll be hurt by this. But I hope the cheating dicks get what's coming to them.

She is my equal. As I say she is not a child and can think for herself. She respects my wishes and I respect hers. In fact I do more in the relationship both in hours and money. I wouldn't stay with her if I did not love her.

Why would I be with her if I did not love her? See being in a relationship, no matter what your views, is still a deal. Even if the deal is "I will not leave you if I love you" or "You will not hit me and I will not hit you etc". Just we all have different deals and agreements in a relationship. We have different tolerances, different wants and likes. It pays to find someone who shares those same things as you yes? If it was the other way round (me cleaning and doing minimal work while she provided) would you be have a second thought?

Because I value my GF and the care she provides does not at all mean I hate women or "am somehow oppressing her". Do all of you assume I beat her into submission? Or can you not comprehend that she may be happy with our arrangement?

Also I do not hate women, if I hated her I would not be with a women. Nor do I discriminate or anything.

I want you to explain how the agreement my GF of over half a decade and I have a "misogynistic " relationship? We have standards and hold each other to them, as any couple does. Please explain how that is wrong?

"She is my equal, but I do more!"
"Marriage is a deal, and I better get my half of the bargain!"

Are you for real? Like, genuine question, is this a ruse cruise?

You assign value to her like she's some kind of object, rather than another person. I'm sure you do love having her around to clean your house. But I'm not sure you actually respect her, based purely on what you've said in this thread - which is now being dragged off topic, so I'm going to leave it here. Better people than I have tried to reason with you, and you don't seem to be seeing what is, IOHO, the problem.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
"She is my equal, but I do more!"
"Marriage is a deal, and I better get my half of the bargain!"

Are you for real? Like, genuine question, is this a ruse cruise?

You assign value to her like she's some kind of object, rather than another person. I'm sure you do love having her around to clean your house. But I'm not sure you actually respect her, based purely on what you've said in this thread - which is now being dragged off topic, so I'm going to leave it here. Better people than I have tried to reason with you, and you don't seem to be seeing what is, IOHO, the problem.

Yes I am for real.

What do you suggest, I have no values in a partner and just take whatever lazy women comes my way and appreciate her? I want a lady (and have one) that I can appreciate and who appreciates me in return, who does not think so highly of herself that she will not do her part to make our household work like I do mine. Love is not a one way thing, it takes 2 to tango etc. Of course I respect her. I have been with her for 6 years! How can I not? WE (as in she and I) have our arrangement and we care for each other and respect each others wishes.

I give up anyway. Ultimately it does not matter as long as she is happy and I am happy and so on. But lets not assume because someone has roles in their relationship that they are disrespectful and backward women haters yea?

I'm suggesting that the idea that "I have a lady" is misogynistic and repugnant. I feel that saying things like that in a public forum is something you should be called out on.

We can agree that things such as this Ashley Madison site are terrible though, right?

It's probably not a great idea to judge the intimate details of anothers relationship. There are many ways two people can be happy together, so presuming you know what's best is... boorish. Especially when one of the individuals is very clearly a late adolescent who will no doubt mature a bit over time.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
We can agree that things such as this Ashley Madison site are terrible though, right?

Seems like we can.

 easysauce wrote:

this could easily be a "every person who is a member of _____ porno site" being black mailed.

!

Not Purple Pirate Porno!

Gotta delete that account!

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:
It is a logical statement that betraying your partner will directly lead to a breakdown in trust when they find out.

While what you've said is true, BlaxicanX was arguing from the standpoint the spouse hadn't found out yet. How can there be a breakdown of trust if the partner hasn't found out?

Unless the partner is a fortune teller, in which case they really should have seen it coming

If the argument is that in the short term the partner hasn't found out there is a certain amount of short sightedness that comes with that. Cheaters get caught. Even before then there are things that take their toll on the relationship; cheating indicates a fundamental lack of respect for your partner. Once you make peace with that level of betrayal it then becomes very easy for this disrespect to manifest itself in other ways, all of which are detrimental to the relationship.
Time spent cheating on your partner is time that you are neglecting intimacy with your partner, or other household tasks which also directly impact your relationship, the financial impact on the household, the secretiveness, and the potential for STDs.


If you aren't satisfied with the love you receive from your partner then be honest with them and go your separate ways. Don't treat them as the fall back in case you don't pick up a stranger.



Looks like florists will also be reaping the rewards

Gotta love people on internet forums berating others about the "perfect relationship". It's one of the topics that go nowhere good.

In general, this amuses me. Yeah, hacking is bad etc, but maybe, maybe, you shouldn't have cheated in the first place.

 Sigvatr wrote:
Gotta love people on internet forums berating others about the "perfect relationship". It's one of the topics that go nowhere good.

In general, this amuses me. Yeah, hacking is bad etc, but maybe, maybe, you shouldn't have cheated in the first place.

I'd proffer both are wrong. When both occur though, its awfully funny.

You had me at "proffer".

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:
It is a logical statement that betraying your partner will directly lead to a breakdown in trust when they find out.

While what you've said is true, BlaxicanX was arguing from the standpoint the spouse hadn't found out yet. How can there be a breakdown of trust if the partner hasn't found out?

Unless the partner is a fortune teller, in which case they really should have seen it coming

If the argument is that in the short term the partner hasn't found out there is a certain amount of short sightedness that comes with that. Cheaters get caught. Even before then there are things that take their toll on the relationship; cheating indicates a fundamental lack of respect for your partner. Once you make peace with that level of betrayal it then becomes very easy for this disrespect to manifest itself in other ways, all of which are detrimental to the relationship.
Time spent cheating on your partner is time that you are neglecting intimacy with your partner, or other household tasks which also directly impact your relationship, the financial impact on the household, the secretiveness, and the potential for STDs.

While I agree that cheating is morally reprehensible, that's a slippery slope you've got there.

 Swastakowey wrote:
Well as long as she lives in my house that I pay for and uses the power/internet/water and so on I pay for yea she will have to keep the place clean and cook. I will not come home and do more after she spent most of her day at home etc.

Get a janitor and a prostitute. You will waste less time and get better results. Also you can change the janitor and keep the prostitute or vice versa if one of them stops giving satisfaction and the other continues to do so. Really, it is a way better deal.

(Or you could stop considering a relationship based entirely on gender role, but rather envision living as equals. Both working, both bringing in some money, both taking part in household chores, and living together not for purely practical reasons but because you actually enjoy each other beside what a robot could do.)

 Chongara wrote:
Because you've (intentionally or not) framed it in the most awful RedPill/MGTOW style that your posts are spontaneously sprouting their own cargo shorts and terrible hats.

Have mercy on the weird-hated. Some of us hat-wearers are not that bad, please stop associating us with such terrible behavior :(.