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 Swastakowey wrote:

 Asherian Command wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:
I think it is best simply to not get married. I reckon that a lot of these men have ended up in sexless marriages. Often I hear about how women slowly stop putting out after a few years of marriage. I imagine websites like this have huge numbers of men who have wives that don't hold up their end of the bargain in marriage. Otherwise they likely would not feel the need to cheat. Maybe some of their wives got fat too. Who knows.

I know I personally will not be getting married, would hate to lose half my stuff because I divorce a wife who does not satisfy me. Especially since I am likely to be earning more and working more.

Ultimately though, these people should divorce and just hope they don't lose everything instead of cheating. Cheating ruins reputations big time.

I think you should watch Mike Birbiligia he has a rant on it and said that most marriages end in divorce, that he doesn't believe in the institution, pretty funny actually and I can see that point of view.

See I think marriage can work, it's just so easy for women to call it quits and ruin your life. Why give them that power over you? See it with a lot of men in their 40s after they worked decades for their wives who merely tidied the house. By not marrying you can simply leave your long term partner of they don't keep themselves at their original standard. Since I, the dude, is likely to have the money and the house etc it means I have nothing to lose if it goes bad. Unless children are in the mix. But I am not too sure if I am willing to have kids because then I have the burden of child support if it goes bad. Marriage is like a really one sided business contract. I was going to get married this year, looking at rings and everything, after 6 years of dating. But I think I will wait after seeing a guy at work after his divorce.

I will check out that video though tonight maybe.

Don't get married. You aren't ready.

Frankly, I'd make it illegal to get married before 25. Most people just don't know what the hell they're getting into before then. I certainly didn't.

Figure your own gak out before fething up someone else's.

Just my 2 cents.

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
While I agree that cheating is morally reprehensible, that's a slippery slope you've got there.

What are you objecting to specifically which does not inevitably follow from another event without any rational argument or demonstrable mechanism for the inevitability?

 kronk wrote:

Don't get married. You aren't ready.

Frankly, I'd make it illegal to get married before 25. Most people just don't know what the hell they're getting into before then. I certainly didn't.

Figure your own gak out before fething up someone else's.

Just my 2 cents.

I'd second this. I got married at 35, and it's been great. My wife is my best friend, she supports me, and we're a team. But until you're comfortable trusting somebody with everything you have, you shouldn't get married.

And the stats about divorce are both misstated and skewed. If you look at divorce rates seperated by education or age, you'll find that college educated couples in their upper 20s are far less likely to get divorced than high school educated people even five years younger. The overall divorce rate has also been falling since about 1980:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/02/upshot/the-divorce-surge-is-over-but-the-myth-lives-on.html?_r=0

The reality is that 50 years ago, people felt more pressure to marry, and had fewer options, particularly women. When options opened up in the 70s and 80s, that lead to a boom in divorce.

Today, people do not feel the same pressure to get married, which has lead to a decreasing marriage rate, but also to declining divorce rate.

 Swastakowey wrote:
Just seems like a huge risk to get married thats all.

Sure, but thats why you should be really sure of the decision to get married. I think most marriages fail because people jump into them without taking the necessary steps and being prepared. And then too many people resort to divorce without trying to fix the marriage and instead just think because the honeymoon is over divorce is the only option.

That doesn't mean marriage is bad, it means people are stupid.

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
While I agree that cheating is morally reprehensible, that's a slippery slope you've got there.

What are you objecting to specifically which does not inevitably follow from another event without any rational argument or demonstrable mechanism for the inevitability?

Cheaters get caught. Even before then there are things that take their toll on the relationship; cheating indicates a fundamental lack of respect for your partner. Once you make peace with that level of betrayal it then becomes very easy for this disrespect to manifest itself in other ways, all of which are detrimental to the relationship.

Cheaters getting caught is not an inevitability, and the fact that something becomes easier does not make it inevitable, although it certainly is worrying.

Don't get married. You aren't ready.

Frankly, I'd make it illegal to get married before 25. Most people just don't know what the hell they're getting into before then. I certainly didn't.

Figure your own gak out before fething up someone else's.

Just my 2 cents.

Matters on the two people. My parents got married when they were 25, but they were both intelligent people, who had their lives figured out by then.

I agree with that sentiment though, as most people I know have no idea what their personalities are like, they don't really know themselves that well. They don't have the experience needed to maintain a real relationship.

I think I have dumped every girl I have had a first date with, mostly because of the experience thing, and not being open minded.

I know tons of people that are twenty and twenty one that are already married or are getting engaged. And the single thought that goes through my mind is "Well thats going to end pretty quickly". Because at my age, I don't even think I am ready for a full on relationship. Especially with balancing trying to go to school, getting a degree, writing a book, I don't think I have the patience nor the need to get into a relationship. Why people can't figure that out on their own I will never know.

This cheater website is stupid and I think anyone that does anything like that has no understanding of other people, and how they work.

Though that is an assumption on my part, we really don't know the situations for everyone.

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
While I agree that cheating is morally reprehensible, that's a slippery slope you've got there.

What are you objecting to specifically which does not inevitably follow from another event without any rational argument or demonstrable mechanism for the inevitability?

Cheaters get caught. Even before then there are things that take their toll on the relationship; cheating indicates a fundamental lack of respect for your partner. Once you make peace with that level of betrayal it then becomes very easy for this disrespect to manifest itself in other ways, all of which are detrimental to the relationship.

Cheaters getting caught is not an inevitability, and the fact that something becomes easier does not make it inevitable, although it certainly is worrying.

Then it is a good thing that I didn't suggest that something becoming easier did not lead to inevitable consequences of disrespect manifesting in other ways.

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
While I agree that cheating is morally reprehensible, that's a slippery slope you've got there.

What are you objecting to specifically which does not inevitably follow from another event without any rational argument or demonstrable mechanism for the inevitability?

Cheaters get caught. Even before then there are things that take their toll on the relationship; cheating indicates a fundamental lack of respect for your partner. Once you make peace with that level of betrayal it then becomes very easy for this disrespect to manifest itself in other ways, all of which are detrimental to the relationship.

Cheaters getting caught is not an inevitability, and the fact that something becomes easier does not make it inevitable, although it certainly is worrying.

Then it is a good thing that I didn't suggest that something becoming easier did not lead to inevitable consequences of disrespect manifesting in other ways.

You certainly implied it, and now we're going to do the whole "did not, did too" that we inevitably do.

Further, you're assuming that cheating must mean that you're (general you, obviously) neglecting your spouse by not spending the time spent cheating with said spouse, but there's nothing saying that "time spent cheating" is inversely proportional to "time spent with spouse". Cheating during a business trip when one is away from one's spouse, for example, is not taking any time away from the spouse.

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
You certainly implied it, and now we're going to do the whole "did not, did too" that we inevitably do.

Absolutely no implication either, "becomes very easy" =/= inevitable. Whatever inferences you mistakenly made were entirely your own. You can do the whole "did not, did too" if you so choose, but I hope you'll appreciate if I choose not to indulge you.

 AlmightyWalrus wrote:
Further, you're assuming that cheating must mean that you're (general you, obviously) neglecting your spouse by not spending the time spent cheating with said spouse, but there's nothing saying that "time spent cheating" is inversely proportional to "time spent with spouse". Cheating during a business trip when one is away from one's spouse, for example, is not taking any time away from the spouse.

Perhaps you understand why I was speaking in generalities, and not giving an exhaustive list of precisely when cheating on a spouse was taking time away from that spouse. In any event, cheating on your spouse/partner/significant other while on a business trip still shows a fundamental breakdown in respect and an erosion of trust. What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas.

People have been having affairs since time began. 10% of children are not related to their supposed fathers, according to DNA testing.

 Kilkrazy wrote:
People have been having affairs since time began. 10% of children are not related to their supposed fathers, according to DNA testing.

My better half and her mother had genetic testing done through Ancestry.com and were were both wondering how many people had unexpected results. Is that 10% for Europe, US, Western World?

 Kilkrazy wrote:
People have been having affairs since time began. 10% of children are not related to their supposed fathers, according to DNA testing.

Kronk strikes again.

 Frazzled wrote:

 Kilkrazy wrote:
People have been having affairs since time began. 10% of children are not related to their supposed fathers, according to DNA testing.

Kronk strikes again.

I was poor and needed the money...

That doesn't explain Bulgaria!

 Frazzled wrote:
That doesn't explain Bulgaria!

How do you know he wasn't fething in his spare time?

 Grey Templar wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
That doesn't explain Bulgaria!

How do you know he wasn't fething in his spare time?

Ah charity work. Well Kronk does believe in giving back to his community. Me, I believe the only good hyenadon is a dead hyenadon. Remember, young neaderthals, you don't have to be fastest, just faster than the caveman next to you.

Getting cucked must be the worst thing in the world. Pretty Earth shattering.

Can't wait for the murder reports to start rolling in.

Some guys pay good money to get cucked.

If there signing up to that site, the marriage is dying anyway.

Just proof whoever's relationship truely is down the plughole and its probably not gonna work

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:
If the argument is that in the short term the partner hasn't found out there is a certain amount of short sightedness that comes with that. Cheaters get caught. Even before then there are things that take their toll on the relationship; cheating indicates a fundamental lack of respect for your partner. Once you make peace with that level of betrayal it then becomes very easy for this disrespect to manifest itself in other ways, all of which are detrimental to the relationship.
Time spent cheating on your partner is time that you are neglecting intimacy with your partner, or other household tasks which also directly impact your relationship, the financial impact on the household, the secretiveness, and the potential for STDs.


If you aren't satisfied with the love you receive from your partner then be honest with them and go your separate ways. Don't treat them as the fall back in case you don't pick up a stranger.

I have a hard time believing all cheaters get caught, and I'd wager that some cases of cheating happen despite having respect for the partner, due to alcohol. My point was that you both were arguing about different things, though.

I agree that better communication between partners would fix the majority of these situations.

Disclosure: I'm happily married, have never cheated, have zero interest in cheating, and have no respect for anyone who cheats.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
(Or you could stop considering a relationship based entirely on gender role, but rather envision living as equals.)

Flip a coin to choose who gets pregnant!

 Frazzled wrote:

 Sigvatr wrote:
Gotta love people on internet forums berating others about the "perfect relationship". It's one of the topics that go nowhere good.

In general, this amuses me. Yeah, hacking is bad etc, but maybe, maybe, you shouldn't have cheated in the first place.

I'd proffer both are wrong. When both occur though, its awfully funny.

Kind of like a Reese's. Hey, you cheated my hackers! Well, you hacked my cheaters!

 Frazzled wrote:

 Kilkrazy wrote:
People have been having affairs since time began. 10% of children are not related to their supposed fathers, according to DNA testing.

Kronk strikes again.

Kronk needs a ride to the park...yes..."park".

Kronk is married now


Game Over Man

Meh, being married actually is super awesome. You spend the rest of your life with the most wonderful woman you've ever met. I could not imagine a happier event!

Help me. Please.

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:
If the argument is that in the short term the partner hasn't found out there is a certain amount of short sightedness that comes with that. Cheaters get caught. Even before then there are things that take their toll on the relationship; cheating indicates a fundamental lack of respect for your partner. Once you make peace with that level of betrayal it then becomes very easy for this disrespect to manifest itself in other ways, all of which are detrimental to the relationship.
Time spent cheating on your partner is time that you are neglecting intimacy with your partner, or other household tasks which also directly impact your relationship, the financial impact on the household, the secretiveness, and the potential for STDs.


If you aren't satisfied with the love you receive from your partner then be honest with them and go your separate ways. Don't treat them as the fall back in case you don't pick up a stranger.

I have a hard time believing all cheaters get caught, and I'd wager that some cases of cheating happen despite having respect for the partner, due to alcohol. My point was that you both were arguing about different things, though.

I agree that better communication between partners would fix the majority of these situations.

Disclosure: I'm happily married, have never cheated, have zero interest in cheating, and have no respect for anyone who cheats.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
(Or you could stop considering a relationship based entirely on gender role, but rather envision living as equals.)

Flip a coin to choose who gets pregnant!

"But Bill both sides are tails"
"Exactly honey. How do you think nature actually works."
*Grumble*

I am still investing in the gun market after this hack.

Help me. Please.

Sorry can't hear you over how single I am! True love life of me.

Sorry had to.

Just a joke. Or is it....

 Swastakowey wrote:
When did I say that? I am a reasonable man, I would explain she is not holding up her side of the relationship and give her a warning to fix it first.

I will not work full time, clean the house and pay for everything because ït would be mean of me not to when my GF sits around doing nothing all day".

Explain where my relationship is wrong please? I mean I have lasted 6 years at the age of 21 with the same women, I must be doing something right yea?

You sound like a very reasonable employer. You just don't really sound like you're in a relationship with a person you love.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Polonius wrote:
It's probably not a great idea to judge the intimate details of anothers relationship. There are many ways two people can be happy together, so presuming you know what's best is... boorish. Especially when one of the individuals is very clearly a late adolescent who will no doubt mature a bit over time.

That's a really good point, well said.

Yes, there is all that too!

I wonder if the prevalence and ease of access to porn is behind some of these...new attitudes, or at least a major contributing factor?

Porn is great Alpharius, don't make me put you on a list.

He's already on my spreadsheet.

 Alpharius wrote:
Yes, there is all that too!

I wonder if the prevalence and ease of access to porn is behind some of these...new attitudes, or at least a major contributing factor?

It is. Kinda. I don't have the chart at hand, but I read a study on it about 2 years ago. Porn videos watched and number of sexual partners had a significant correlation.