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NorseSig wrote: WTF, I ssem to catch all the weird Sickos. I work night shift 2 nights a week which entails starting breakfast on the morning and refilling the "trays" if things run low until the breakfast person gets there. Last Wed morning I was making a batch of eggs to refill the tray of them running low, when I hear a scream. This sick a-hole had burned himself by sticking his PENIS INTO THE HOT GRAVY. He was mad because he did not see the sign saying contents hot and that he would sue me for not being there to warn him. I called the police on him. He was arrested. Today I got a court summons because this person has in fact filed a lawsuit on me. I contacted my boss and the arresting officer and both said not to worry that they would be there to vouch for me and get this nonsense stopped.
Looking for a club in Brisbane, Australia? Come and enjoy a game and a beer at Pubhammer, our friendly club in a pub at the Junction pub in Annerley (opposite Ace Comics), Sunday nights from 6:30. All brisbanites welcome, don't wait, check out our Club Page on Facebook group for details or to organize a game. We play all sorts of board and war games, so hit us up if you're interested.
Pubhammer is Moving! Starting from the 25th of May we'll be gaming at The Junction pub (AKA The Muddy Farmer), opposite Ace Comics & Games in Annerley! Still Sunday nights from 6:30 in the Function room Come along and play Warmachine, 40k, boardgames or anything else!
"Yes your Honour, thats the penis. He stuck it right in the gravy he did".
OMG I ALMOST FELL ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING! HAVE AN EXALT!
My armies (re-counted and updated on 11/7/24, including modeled wargear options):
Dark Angels: ~16000 Astra Militarum: ~1200 | Imperial Knights: ~2300 | Leagues of Votann: ~1300 | Tyranids: ~3400 | Stormcast Eternals: ~5000 | Kruleboyz: ~3500 | Lumineth Realm-Lords: ~700
Check out my P&M Blogs: ZergSmasher's P&M Blog | Imperial Knights blog | Board Games blog | Total models painted in 2024: 40 | Total models painted in 2025: 21 | Current main painting project: Warhammer 40k Leviathan set
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote: You need your bumps felt. With a patented, Grotsnik Corp Bump Feelerer 9,000.
The Grotsnik Corp Bump Feelerer 9,000. It only looks like several bricks crudely gaffer taped to a cricket bat.
Grotsnik Corp. Sorry, No Refunds.
Shadow Captain Edithae wrote: "Objection, your honour! He cannot possibly have seen my client's penis as it was thoroughly coated in gravy!"
Objection! The gravy was of a thin enough consistency to allow for positive identification of the penis in question. However, if it please the court we have a jug of the gravy in question and can recreate the scene here in order to demonstrate how identification was made."
The Laws of Thermodynamics:
1) You cannot win. 2) You cannot break even. 3) You cannot stop playing the game.
Colonel Flagg wrote:You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.
Shadow Captain Edithae wrote: "Objection, your honour! He cannot possibly have seen my client's penis as it was thoroughly coated in gravy!"
Objection! The gravy was of a thin enough consistency to allow for positive identification of the penis in question. However, if it please the court we have a jug of the gravy in question and can recreate the scene here in order to demonstrate how identification was made."
This wouldn't work. It is a thick, chunky, sausage gravy. No pun intended. The part that frustrates me the most is someone is actually taking this guy seriously. Not sure, but I think a judge had to sign off on allowing this lawsuit to even happen.
"Well, tell your client to get it under control or I'll find him in contempt of court!"
I'm hoping it will go well, but with the judge who is overseeing this who knows. We are talking about a guy who said a woman is partially responsible if she gets raped because she had to have done something to provoke the poor man into it. I have a feeling I will be asking for a different judge. Luckily my boss and the hotel owner are pitching in to pay my attorney fees for me because they feel I was in the right, did nothing wrong, and feel they need to stand up for their employee. Their words not mine.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/08/28 19:41:07
Twinkle, Twinkle little star.
I ran over your Wave Serpents with my car.
NorseSig wrote: WTF, I ssem to catch all the weird Sickos. I work night shift 2 nights a week which entails starting breakfast on the morning and refilling the "trays" if things run low until the breakfast person gets there. Last Wed morning I was making a batch of eggs to refill the tray of them running low, when I hear a scream. This sick a-hole had burned himself by sticking his PENIS INTO THE HOT GRAVY. He was mad because he did not see the sign saying contents hot and that he would sue me for not being there to warn him. I called the police on him. He was arrested. Today I got a court summons because this person has in fact filed a lawsuit on me. I contacted my boss and the arresting officer and both said not to worry that they would be there to vouch for me and get this nonsense stopped.
"Now son, I want you to show me on this doll exactly where the gravy touched you..."
'I've played Guard for years, and the best piece of advice is to always utilize the Guard's best special rule: "we roll more dice than you" ' - stormleader
"Sector Imperialis: 25mm and 40mm Round Bases (40+20) 26€ (Including 32 skulls for basing) " GW design philosophy in a nutshell
Shadow Captain Edithae wrote: "Objection, your honour! He cannot possibly have seen my client's penis as it was thoroughly coated in gravy!"
Objection! The gravy was of a thin enough consistency to allow for positive identification of the penis in question. However, if it please the court we have a jug of the gravy in question and can recreate the scene here in order to demonstrate how identification was made."
This wouldn't work. It is a thick, chunky, sausage gravy. No pun intended. The part that frustrates me the most is someone is actually taking this guy seriously. Not sure, but I think a judge had to sign off on allowing this lawsuit to even happen.
Ah, well that plays right into your hands. Demonstrate the surface tension of the gravy in order to show the amount of force necessary to submerge the penis in the gravy, then use a thermometer to measure the temperature gradient of the gravy as you get deeper into it, starting from about an inch above it. ALso perform an experiment to determine the sensitivity of a penis to changes in temperature. You thus prove that he must have known that the gravy was hot as he lowered his penis towards the gravy and then as his penis touched the gravy. Yet he still pushed his penis in with enough force to break the surface tension which clearly demonstrates that he wished to hurt himself.
In all seriousness, I hope it goes okay and you don't get lumbered with too many fees (if any).
The Laws of Thermodynamics:
1) You cannot win. 2) You cannot break even. 3) You cannot stop playing the game.
Colonel Flagg wrote:You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.
I must know how this lawsuit plays out. I hope the judge not only rules in your favor but also awards you attorney fees for this guy's ridiculousness. You should counter sue him for mental anquish for having to see his gravy coated schlong.
Shadow Captain Edithae wrote: "Objection, your honour! He cannot possibly have seen my client's penis as it was thoroughly coated in gravy!"
Objection! The gravy was of a thin enough consistency to allow for positive identification of the penis in question. However, if it please the court we have a jug of the gravy in question and can recreate the scene here in order to demonstrate how identification was made."
This wouldn't work. It is a thick, chunky, sausage gravy. No pun intended. The part that frustrates me the most is someone is actually taking this guy seriously. Not sure, but I think a judge had to sign off on allowing this lawsuit to even happen.
"Well, tell your client to get it under control or I'll find him in contempt of court!"
I'm hoping it will go well, but with the judge who is overseeing this who knows. We are talking about a guy who said a woman is partially responsible if she gets raped because she had to have done something to provoke the poor man into it. I have a feeling I will be asking for a different judge. Luckily my boss and the hotel owner are pitching in to pay my attorney fees for me because they feel I was in the right, did nothing wrong, and feel they need to stand up for their employee. Their words not mine.
It's obvious that the gravy was being provocative. I think other witnesses might be called in to talk about their own relationship with the gravy to prove it's low moral character.
Shadow Captain Edithae wrote: "Objection, your honour! He cannot possibly have seen my client's penis as it was thoroughly coated in gravy!"
Objection! The gravy was of a thin enough consistency to allow for positive identification of the penis in question. However, if it please the court we have a jug of the gravy in question and can recreate the scene here in order to demonstrate how identification was made."
This wouldn't work. It is a thick, chunky, sausage gravy. No pun intended. The part that frustrates me the most is someone is actually taking this guy seriously. Not sure, but I think a judge had to sign off on allowing this lawsuit to even happen.
"Well, tell your client to get it under control or I'll find him in contempt of court!"
I'm hoping it will go well, but with the judge who is overseeing this who knows. We are talking about a guy who said a woman is partially responsible if she gets raped because she had to have done something to provoke the poor man into it. I have a feeling I will be asking for a different judge. Luckily my boss and the hotel owner are pitching in to pay my attorney fees for me because they feel I was in the right, did nothing wrong, and feel they need to stand up for their employee. Their words not mine.
Maybe the Judge who signed of on this, wants this to happen just for the hilarity in the court?
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/08/30 02:01:37
Well, the verdict is in the moron has decided to drop the charges. Apparently, the owner, manager, arresting officers, and dispatcher willing to testify and the fact that there is video tape of him testing the temp of the gravy with his finger before dropping his drawers to dip his wick in the stuff has discouraged him from going forward. Still silly it went to the point of a summons in the first place. While I should counter sue, it just isn't worth it, and I doubt he has any money anyway. Considering this whole venture costs me and my hotel nothing, it just isn't worth it. If the police ask me to press charges I will, but other than that I just want to forget all about this and the man's burned tootsie roll. My pinkie is bigger than what he is packing.
Twinkle, Twinkle little star.
I ran over your Wave Serpents with my car.
I'd imagine just about anyone's would be after sticking it in piping hot gravy
'I've played Guard for years, and the best piece of advice is to always utilize the Guard's best special rule: "we roll more dice than you" ' - stormleader
"Sector Imperialis: 25mm and 40mm Round Bases (40+20) 26€ (Including 32 skulls for basing) " GW design philosophy in a nutshell
cuda1179 wrote: I guess I have to address the elephant in the room..... You did change out the gravy for the rest of the customers, right?
Yes, absolutely. I did that while calling the police. Almost dropped the phone in the gravy. Had to lock the guy out of the "Employees Only" area as well. Don't think the man can read. The funny thing is, even if there wasn't video of him testing the gravy temp with his finger, we have a giant banner outside and on check-in advertise our free HOT breakfast. Again, HOT, not Continental. The man was just obviously trying to get a quick buck with a scam. Poor loser barely broke the surface of the gravy with that tiny thing. I hope this ends up in the local paper with his mug shot. That would be so funny.
cuda1179 wrote: I guess I have to address the elephant in the room..... You did change out the gravy for the rest of the customers, right?
Maybe he force-fed it to the guy, which is why he's being sued?
Tempted. But no. I didn't yell at him, and I remained polite and still called him "sir". Being calm and polite to angry people even when they are irrational still tends to disarm them, and doesn't give them any ammunition to get me fired for being unprofessional.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/08/29 19:04:29
Twinkle, Twinkle little star.
I ran over your Wave Serpents with my car.
Nevelon wrote: So you admit to tampering/disposing of evidence?
Well it wasn't a criminal case no?
thinking about that though
How in the world does that work though its a massive health violation to leave something like that out.
at least they have video evidence which more than enough
Well, I have another workplace story today. This one is either full of pure awesome, or failure. It kind of depends on your perspective.
I heard about it in whispers and stories, a possible myth. However, the legend was true. The story of the righteous and justifiably upset Black Momma.
A bunch of girls at the local high school decided to get boozed-up in the halls at 9 AM. Yes, drinking at school, in the early morning hours, IN FRONT OF A SECURITY CAMERA. They were all served one-week suspensions.
As it turns out, three of them are my employees. One of them (confined to the home until mother returns from work) decided it was prudent to come into work for someone else tonight.
Mom gets home from work, no daughter in sight, so she calls her cell phone. Daughter gives mom an attitude. 15 minutes later Mom is in the store dragging daughter out, apologizing to me for any trouble. I let her know that I completely understood and she owed me no explanation or apology for this kind of family matter.
The two things that amazed me: Mom was a bit stereotypical and used the "Lord have Mercy" line a little bit. The daughter (before mom arrival) thought the suspension was funny, was bragging about it, and was trash-talking another girl that cried. After Mom shows up that girl broke down into a sobbing pile on the floor in seconds.
So, With my new promotion, I no longer have to deal with customers that are mad at me, but mad at someone else
So, how my thing works is that you stand in line, order your food, go get in another line to get your food. Really inefficient(I personally think they keep it this way because they know the workers are inefficient so it is an excuse. but whatever)
Someone is yelling at me because they stood in line for half an hour. without ordering and then cut in line to order their food. So I get called over. This women is yelling at me saying tht there should be a sign that says where to order. I point at the GIANT "Order Here" sign im standing under. She then said "That wasnt there when I got in line" and then proceeds to call me every name you can imagine.
All this for chiken strips.
hotsauceman1 wrote: So, With my new promotion, I no longer have to deal with customers that are mad at me, but mad at someone else
So, how my thing works is that you stand in line, order your food, go get in another line to get your food. Really inefficient(I personally think they keep it this way because they know the workers are inefficient so it is an excuse. but whatever)
Someone is yelling at me because they stood in line for half an hour. without ordering and then cut in line to order their food. So I get called over. This women is yelling at me saying tht there should be a sign that says where to order. I point at the GIANT "Order Here" sign im standing under. She then said "That wasnt there when I got in line" and then proceeds to call me every name you can imagine.
All this for chiken strips.
If there is one thing I learned working rapid food service, it's to never assume the rationality of anyone willing to wait in line to get heart disease.
Come along and play Warmachine, 40k, boardgames or anything else! 
~16000 Astra Militarum: 
~1200 | Imperial Knights: 
~2300 | Leagues of Votann: 
~1300 | Tyranids: 
~3400 | Stormcast Eternals: 
~5000 | Kruleboyz: 
~3500 | Lumineth Realm-Lords: 
~700
-- $k 
-- 9k 
-- 6k 
-- 
Ultramarines, 3rd Co. and friends, 16k+ 
4k 
Competition Index
5000pts 
6000pts 
3000pts
