Gork and Mork stirred and a wave of fear passed through the warp. Suicide and incidence of violent crime climbed steeply. On Icholbar an Astropath screamed and threw himself from the balcony of a skyscraper apartment, yelling that his people were doomed. On the craftworld Hope of Other Days, an Eldar philosopher stopped listening to the atonal music of his waterchimes and began composing his death-haiku. On distant Earth, a living corpse in a golden throne opened eyes that held fear for the first time in centuries.” Extract from In The Warp Something Stirred, Waaargh! The Orks, pg.71

Waaagh Energy is a potent thing in the Ork’s arsenal. I’d actually argue it is the most potent and misunderstood concept in the whole of the Ork pantheon. It has such vastly wide consequences I need to discuss it in 3 chapters, and no doubt it’ll come up as a topic numerous times over the course of the whole series.

All Orkoids are slightly psychic. Their connection to the warp is extremely strong, and their unflinching beliefs produce the immensely powerful warp reflection of Gork and Mork, the Ork gods, who unerringly romp throughout the Warp beating up every other god and always triumphing. Gork and Mork will come up again later in the series, but the issue of how the Gods were created is the key to understanding the Waaagh, and some of the potential it has.

The quote supplied above (and how awesome is it) was something I thought was merely another in a long line of “Staffer Hearsay”: cool stories that come from somewhere that is most likely the Universe of Made Up Crap. But to my surprise, I found it in the story In The Warp Something Stirred (which is possibly the best example of understatement in all of 40k) in Waaargh! The Orks. The story tells of the first Waa-Ork (which is what Waaargh! The Orks calls a Waaagh!), which creates both the psychic awakening of the whole Orkoid race, but also the two Ork Gods. What spawns this magnificent revolution? A Mek deciding, for the first time, to build a gargant. The psychic energy produced by that realisation is enough to briefly wake the Emperor from a state of quite profound death.

Waaagh Energy and an actual Waaagh! are entirely the same thing. Waaagh Energy is the psychic build-up, a melting pot of the subconscious psychic energy of a group of Orkoids. The more Orkoids there are, and the more aggressive they are, the more powerful the energy. It’s the reason Orks grow big, it’s the reason Squigs fill the societal needs they do, and it’s the reason that Ork Society works the way it does. With Waaagh Energy, there is virtually nothing the Orks cannot do.

Orks have a can-do philosophy. Orks don’t worry about their problems, or about failure, they just try something different until the difficulty is overcome. As they go about their existence, the Orkoid psychic subconscious ensures that this philosophy works. If the Ork wants to take over the Warband, he toughens up. If he wants to build something, by fiddling about and not knowing what he’s doing, he’ll build it. It isn’t completely flawless, but the Waaagh Energy will make the desired outcome at least possible, if the right conditions are in place.

What are the right conditions? Well, we’ll come back to this in part 2, but Waaagh Energy does have its limits, most of the time. The limitation is the imagination, or common perception of Orkoids, as well as reality itself. I can see some arguments about how this system can be abused, but it’s virtually impossible. If an Ork doesn’t believe something possible, it won’t happen. Remember that Waaagh Energy is wholly subconscious. So its limits are self-imposed. There are many things Orks wouldn’t bother with, and they adhere to various schools of thought that regulate their behaviour, such as Clan Affiliations, or just the Orky outlook in general. So, whilst the possibilities of Waaagh Energy are infinite, their actual potential is dependent on the outlook of the Orkoids that foster it. If an Ork, for instance, believes Blue to be a lucky colour, it is unlikely that they’d immediately conclude that pink is luckier without some significant influence upon their outlook.

Orks are probably the least imaginative of all the Orkoids, perhaps of the entire 40k universe, so Ork society has to get around to certain ideas usually by accident, tradition, or in response to stimuli from encountering other races. This regulates Waaagh Energy uses quite well, but also allows it to be scaled up, as needed. Thus Orks actually get a lot better in every way if they have a good opponent, because their expansion is based upon reacting to their stimulus, rather than relying on the basic Ork societal programming.

As a side note here, one could be led to conclude that Orks actually need war to enhance their society, and their very species. Without much of a complex history, or an overly imaginative and dynamic society, Orks need stimulus to draw from, so if the Orks find themselves a good opponent or two, they’ll learn from them how to be more successful. When your outlook and biology is purely based on survival, you will need survival to be more of a challenge to truly improve at it.

Waaagh Energy is also the likely candidate for what controls the sporing process. Orkoids form their own eco-system, wherever they go. The 3 greenskin hierarchy forms the basis of Ork society, whilst the Squigs play havoc with the local environment, as well as evolving to suit societal needs. The sporing process works like clockwork, filling in gaps, slowly building up the Orkoid Species from nothing into everything, releasing spores at the same time, regressing development to produce new Orkoids, and so on. What on earth controls all this? The Waaagh! of course.

The Orkoids’ subconscious psychic resonance is constant at any state of development , providing the impetus to biological processes. Taken as a whole, this resonance is able to cater for all the biological and social needs of Ork society as a whole. Viewed this way, it’s hard not to view Orkoid culture as a gestalt entity; acting as one uniting concept, yet being a vastly diversified culture with four separate species working towards the benefit of them all. It doesn’t always work out, but the potential for the process is always there, in every, single spore.

This psychic energy is also used in battle. We will go into more detail regarding its more subtle uses and such in Chapter 4 (when we’ll really get to the big misconceptions), but the main usage it sees in battle is the Power of Waaagh! and when in use by the Ork pskyers, namely Weirdboyz.

Before continuing, it is worth noting that there is no difference between the two different examples and how they manifest. All Orkoid psychic energy is resonance, and this resonance is itself the Waaagh!, it just varies as to how pronounced, or even aggressive it is. An Orkoid might not even be vaguely aware of its presence, but even the most minute to the most blatant application of this psychic energy comes from precisely the same source.

The Waaagh! is the most potent example of this phenomena. It is the peak of a build up of energy. Almost all Orks build up to this moment, and when the moment finally arrives all that energy and effort used to get to that moment is released simultaneously, to such a powerful extent that it can only be verbally expressed by its very words, and that expression is unlikely to be subtle.

The Waaagh! is resonance at its least subtle. An Ork will particularly feel the effects of its powers, overcome by a lust for glory and battle. It will help them toughen up; it will speed them up and even give them fortune at vital moments. It also gives the ability for a powerful Warboss to instantly unify and concentrate the attentions of hundreds, perhaps thousands or millions of Orkoids into a single objective.

This psychic energy is a virtual constant, and exists in every Orkoid. It can be tapped into specially gifted Orks called Weirdboyz, who tap into that reserve of power and manifest it in psychic attacks and energy. By rights, Ork Weirdboyz should have the most powerful psychic powers in the game, at least by nature of raw power. Because they’re tapping not only from the Warp as other psykers do, but from a race who are all psychically endowed and virtually unified by belief.

Whereas all other races and powers often run into problems because their faithful themselves have flawed and limited convictions, an Ork simply never bothers with such concerns, and their beliefs are unflinching. The Powers of Chaos, for instance, can be undermined, or enhanced, by doubt. Gretchin are a very doubtful race, or at least fatalistic by their very nature, but they generally have faith in their masters, and fully accept that Orks will win.

It should be stated, perhaps even overstated, that Psychic Energy isn’t unstoppable. It still answers to the reality of 40k as much as anything else, and Waaagh energy can only be expected to bend that reality in very narrow instances. If we use an odd analogy, Ork’s unflinching belief mixed with psychic resonance would not make Orks always roll 6s, even if there might be some slight psychic influence so that all Ork players on our planet do indeed roll more 6s than Beakie players, let’s say, it wouldn’t be all the time. There might be a small moment in time when Orks are under the muster of a particularly powerful Ork Warlord that this maxim was possible for a particular endeavour; at least now we know why Ghaz’ ‘Prophet of the Waaagh!’ rule works.

An Ork with very strong psychic abilities and an inclination for survival is still going to look woeful after his head gets hit by a bolter round; it’s just before that he may have managed to run the distance of several football pitches without slowing down, and bringing a large choppa to bear that could even possibly put an unpleasant mark on a tank. Sadly his imagination didn’t really stretch to a rocket-propelled explosive shell heading towards his face, and reality could be bothered to contradict the possibility.

In spite of this, there’s not a single thing in the Ork fluff that Orks or any Orkoid has achieved without some help from psychic resonance. It is the invisible hand that helps guide the Orkoids to their many successes, and even those inevitable failures; but it’ll still be there to pick them up afterwards (not that they’ll need it). Over the course of the next two chapters, we are going to explore this odd relationship even further. Chapter 4 (Part 2) will discuss the main misconceptions of resonance (and I promise to completely resolve one of them once and for all) and Chapter 5 (Part 3) will go into a little speculation about the biggest misconception about resonance, that resonance is somehow limited to Orks.

Resonance (Part 2): Ork Guns Don’t Work Just Because They Think They Do (and other misconceptions about resonance)
“However, disturbing as it sounds, these ‘facts’ become true. Red Ork vehicles do travel perceptibly faster than those of other colours, even when all other design aspects are nominally the same. Similarly, many captured Ork weapons and items of equipment should not work, and indeed do not work unless wielded by an Ork. I believe this is linked to the strong psychic aura surrounding all Orkoids and have developed the Anzion Theorem of Orkoid Mechamorphic Resonant Kinetics. I theorise that many Orks themselves think that they should work. The strong telekinetic abilities of the Orks’ subconscious somehow ensure that the machinery or weaponry functions as desired.”
(The “Other” Anzion Article, 3rd Edition Ork Codex, pg.48)

Almost all misconceptions in fiction are based upon a general misreading of a particular feature within it. It’s usually a blank, sweeping generalisation of something, usually acquired by taking a literal, unimaginative (and often incomplete) conclusion based upon only what is emphatically said, and/or taken from currently given examples. This is what I like to call stroking the canon. Most fanboys do it constantly, and there’s an easy way to spot it, just look for a moment when any fanboy says: “No, X wouldn’t do that…” That’s usually a good indicator that what they really mean is: “I have no imagination. I need this to be untrue because it rocks what little certainty remains in my life.”

We’re all probably guilty of this from time to time, usually unconsciously. Certainly, not every statement that claims a fictional entity can’t do something is wrong, because much of fiction relies on people intrinsically understanding things that are quite well (sometimes even rigidly) defined. But one should always be wary. A writer sometimes expects you to read between the lines, and take logical conclusions. There are many debates on the internet, that spout from the apparent logical paradoxes of actions committed, usually by characters or factions in fictional works, as if the only sensible solution they can come up with is the one characters are always going to arrive at, even in stressful situations.

It also pays if you actually truly understand the character or faction you’re ranting about.

So this leads me quite well to resonance. Resonance plays host for a myriad of quite horrific misconceptions, and is famously quite bad for confusing people, or being such an unknown entity that some 40k fans aren’t even aware that the fictional device exists at all! By far the worst of it though, is those who know it quite well, and use it with tiresome regularity as evidence that Orks suck, are stupid, or don’t make sense. Tonight, I will provide all Ork fans with the final and clinching argument that ends all of this nonsense, and to those who have used said argument, a quite thorough literal thrashing. Because anyone who says Ork guns only work because Orks think they do (what TV Tropes terms “Clap Your Hands If You Believe”) is actually wrong.

The key to understanding this particular misconception is actually the key to understanding the Orks.

Before we deal with the misconception, we should discuss why such a conclusion could be made. As I mentioned previously, all Orks are slightly psychic, and Orks utilise this energy via resonance, which controls various aspects of their biological processes (notably growth and replication), as well as assisting their existence by promoting success.

In addition to the benefits of the Waaagh! , resonance also has a massive impact upon the day-to-day needs and beliefs of Orkoids. Orkoid Resonance doesn’t actually stop working, and it is actually a constant that most likely affects all Orkoids in various ways throughout their existence: shaping, aiding and controlling the Orkoids’ progression in Ork society. The two best known of these applications are Orkoid Weapons and the infamous Red Paint Job.

The concept of Red Wunz Go Fasta will be well known to most Ork Players, and most likely most 40k players. How and why it works is all down to resonance, an aspect of which mentioned in the second Anzion article from the 3rd Edition Ork Codex (see Chapter quote above), and is termed: the Anzion Theorem of Orkoid Mechamorphic Resonant Kinetics. Quite hilariously pompous, but shortened to Mechamorphic Resonance, it can be somewhat functional.

As is explained in the article, its origins are likely quite innocent, with an imperceptible change in speed between two vehicles, one of which was red. Likewise it could also spring from ideas promoted by Evil Sunz and/or the Cult of Speed, trying to suggest that their vehicles were faster, or more likely they adopted red vehicles because they were indeed faster. One could theorise the origins of the true adage until the Squiggoths turn up, but it works for the Orks just the same.

Some people think that Andy Chambers invented this for 3rd Edition. This is partly right, Andy C probably was responsible for it, but the concept itself is as old as Rogue Trader, being mentioned in Waaargh The Orks! (like pretty much everything else, aside of sporing). Although the clear explanation is a 3rd Ed invention, it’s likely that the characteristics of Waaagh Energy were clanking around in Andy’s deranged mind for the many years it took him to get it down on paper.

So, as we know from last time, resonance responds to the belief and perceptions of Orkoids. If those perceptions are common enough, they start to actually happen on a massive and universal scale. So once all Orkdom was convinced that Red Vehicles are indeed faster because they are red, it becomes a constant truism for Orks. But as mentioned last time, that perception has to have originally been ground in some form of reality or otherwise the Orks would have never believed it. Orks can make quite fanciful conclusions, but they don’t get them from nowhere. They need something to conclude from.

Thus we are led to the major misconception. It is true that resonance plays a big role in how most Ork technology works. Orks are by and large “can-do” thinkers, not exactly optimistic, just not pessimistic. Thus the concept of failure is something Orks don’t think about, so resonance is merely helping to eliminate the likelihood of failure. Bear in mind that this wont always work, because Orks have to be convinced of its value, and reality is going to rear its ugly head quite often (take note of the fact that Orks can be killed, which shows that realism is still there; no Ork expects, wants or believes they are going to die, yet invariably will, in spite of resonance). Orks have a tendency towards some rationalism, so it is unlikely that Orks would suddenly be able to teleport, or master anti-gravity. Bear these limits in mind, because they’re important.

The Anzion Resonance Article mentions that Ork weapons don’t really work without Orks being there. This is technically true, but there are a number of important distinctions to bear in mind. Not bearing said distinctions in mind leads to the quantum leap that Ork weapons and technology only works because they think it does. Sadly said conclusion is based purely on ignorance of the fluff.

Taking note of where the offending fluff comes from is the first important distinction. Because it notes quite clearly that Meks are spored with an inherent knowledge of “basic physics and mechanical engineering theory”, so even if Meks are completely unaware of what they are building and how they built it, it seems likely that their understanding is at least intuitive enough to be mostly efficient and workable. So it would seem pretty rash to conclude from the fluff that Meks can’t actually build anything, and that an Ork gun is a rusty pipe and a stick held together with gaffer tape. It’s as likely to be as good attempt at a gun as any other engineer with a flair for building would do.

So, Ork technology can plausibly work. Thus it is already clear that the claim of belief being the only factor is clearly wrong. Then if you include the idea even mentioned in the example for the Red Paint Job in the same article (again), you are faced with the fact that something had to form a realistic influence (i.e. a red vehicle perceptively went faster for some unforeseen technical reason than a non-red vehicle) in order for the perception to be enforced by resonance; so at one point a Mek presumably managed to replicate the affect of a weapon that they encountered, or originally used, and at some point it actually stopped mattering whether the technology all worked or not.

Besides, it’s not as if the Imperials are any better. Let’s look at their lasguns.

Psychic resonance on Ork weapons is a fundamental aspect of Ork construction. Psychic energy is channelled from the powers of the warp. Other races channel the warp as a power source, creating warp engines and so forth. If Orks are the only means by which their technology gains that empowerment, then to say that Orks believe stuff works merely because they think they do, is to take a battery out of a torch and expect it to work on its own.

Aside of the fact that this is a real life example versus a fictional one, the point is twofold: Of course, the torch won’t work, so therefore the maxim is true, surely? But that’s just it, the maxim is just as much wrong. Because with or without a battery, you still have a torch. The fact humans have a battery rather than the power of belief is no difference. A Battery is a maguffin that makes something work, and so too in the fictional universe of 40k is waaagh energy. If belief is reflected in psychic resonance, and that resonance can be channelled into making things work, it is a power source in the same way that atomic energy is. So it is only absurd in that it is fictional, and in its own context (i.e. fiction) such a consideration is irrelevant.

Although I doubt the powering up of your battery caused a dead man’s eyes to open and caused a psychic space explorer to jump to his death, did it? You thought your battery hadn’t run out either. You were wrong on both counts.

Well I said lasgun and meant torch… it’s pretty easy to mix those two things up. They both run on power packs that are essentially called batteries. Besides, the Imperials view technology as part of a religion. The mocking should really be coming from the Ork players.

So there we go. You need some logical basis for the thing to happen, or at least some kind of basis. I’m perfectly sure that it doesn’t matter anyway. Because resonance is an inseparable part of the Orks, and it makes no difference either way. To belittle the influence of resonance as a cop-out, or evidence of stupidity would be a bit like hand-waving every advancement humanity has made through the use of opposable thumbs. If a feature exists for a race (fictional or real) then said race is going to make use of it, or it’s a bit pointless it being there at all.

Understanding that resonance works in particular ways and is always present can help to solve a number of mysteries about the Orks. In particular, it can answer a few things about what makes Orks tick. It can explain why Madboyz can be physically stronger than all other Orks, and also explains a few of their powers (in Rogue Trader, some Madboyz could make things float about like poltergeist activity), as their irrational minds can actually bring out the true potential of resonance, because they are not as grounded by reality and rationalism as other Orks.

It also can also help explain why Goffs are smelly and Bad Moons teeth grows faster, also why blue is lucky, probably why Blood Axes are Sneaky, and also how Ork anaesthesia works. The likes of smelly goffs and teeth-rich Bad Moons probably started off life as insults from the other clans, racial slurs upon them that eventually started being true. Most likely at one point they were based in fact: perhaps a particularly successful Goff Warlord was really smelly for some reason (or perhaps non-Goffs foresaw a particular problem about shunning transports in favour of running…), and perhaps a infamous Bad Moon trader, mek or warboss had teeth that seemed to grow quicker (or perhaps Bad Moons were just so good at business and making teeth that Orks began thinking it was because their teeth grew quicker).

So, the next time some player makes some sarcy comment about Ork weaponry, get them to take the battery out of their mobile phone.

Resonance (Part 3): It’s Not Just About The Orks: TWC Speculates On Resonance in Other Orkoids
“The Waaagh tendency as seen in Orkoid individuals is an organism-scale reflection of a biological activity occurring at a cellular level. Separate orkoid organisms, be they adult, be they embryonic or cellular, generate a constant and stable field of resonance (probably psionic) that, when they intersect, cause biological processes to accelerate, engorge and expand.” (Xenology, pg.44)

So this is where we somewhat move into the grounds of conjecture. It isn’t quite as unsupported as others have claimed previously, but as Orks are the Orkoids with the most emphasis put into them, one is required to look at sources that don’t outright state things literally. In spite of the somewhat indirect nature of the fluff with regards the “lesser” Orkoids, there is much of that fluff that speaks very loudly indeed.

The misconception is very obvious – there are many 40k fans and Ork players alike who conclude that resonance occurs only in Orks, and not in the others, or if it does, it adds nothing the Orks are already capable of, and there is no overlap. In light of, as I said earlier, the amount of fluff that doesn’t directly contradict this doesn’t exactly help. But that’s just it, without resonance fluff there to explain the oddities of our Orkoid entourage, what explanation is there?

So what evidence is there? Well, there are, actually, only three primary sources for both the sporing process, and the resonance fluff (or at least how both of them have been clearly explained, even if resonance has been in the Ork fluff since Rogue Trader), and that is the two Anzion Articles and Xenology, which if you’ve been following this series, should already be very familiar to you; at least by name, if you haven’t yet read them.

Every time there is a sentence that uses the word “Orkoids” instead of Orks, it is applying the concept to the whole species, genus or whatever word you want to use to describe the entirety of Orkdom. The biology of Orkoids, their symbiosis, resilience and sporing process naturally invoke the word Orkoids, but so too do many other of the fundamentals of Ork fluff: when the fluff discusses the idea of genetically inherited skills, it says Orkoids, not Orks; when it discusses the idea that warfare makes Orks stronger, it again, uses the word Orkoids (even if it makes it clear this effect is more pronounced in Orks, it still occurs to the others); and Xenology, well if there is any doubt about whether the fluff mentions Orkoids having resonance, the article quote solves that one.

The issue isn’t so much “can other Orkoids use resonance”, but more what can be said about what they do with it. There isn’t a whole lot to go on, which isn’t actually that surprising; when, rather perplexingly for such a subtle and outright important aspect of the Orkoids, there is barely more than a page or two worth of fluff describing the whole thing; let alone what it does for the other Orkoids.

Interestingly, it’s actually easier to support the claim of what it does for the simplest Orkoid organisms (Snotlings and Squigs) than what it does for the more complicated species of the Gretchin, for whom there’s barely anything to suggest they use it. We will come back to the Orkoids in more detail in the next series (Orks and Ork Society), so for now I’ll only mention aspects that are relevant to resonance. Quite frankly I could mention all of it, but a few strong examples from each should be sufficient.

So let’s start with Squigs. As I mentioned in Chapter 2, Squigs come in a lot of shapes and sizes. These variations vary quite vastly between different types of Squig, but what is remarkable about them is how the Orks make use of them. There is not a single Squig in the Ork fluff that Orks don’t use for something, even if it is as simple as being eaten. Some of the more exotic variations get used for all sorts of things. Buzzer Squigs are commonly used as primitive ammunition (Squig Catapults); Oil Squigs provide almost all of the oil and lubrication for Mek’s machinations; Vampire Squigs are one of many used by Doks, and is used for drinking up bad blood and septic pus from wounds; Hairy Squigs are the source by which Orks have hair; Paint Squigs are the source by which Orks get paint.

If I was a Xenologist in that fictional universe, I’d find it hard to conclude that all these incredibly useful perks turned up simply by chance. Of course, they probably did. But it’s their resurgence and capacity to be commonplace that tells you something about the Orks. Although not outright stated, the likely culprit of all of this must be resonance. Just consider for a moment, that these various perks are likely filling gaps in the Ork’s environment that they require at the time. So it is likely that the resonance alters certain Squigs so that they produce an affect that the Orks’ society needs at that time.

It can in some cases be quite a radical manifestation, if you look at Feral Tribes. Take for instance, the Boar or the Squiggoth. The Squiggoth is definitely a type of Squig, but the Boar, well, that depends. Certainly originally, they were indigenous to the Ork’s original home world, and the Orks kept breeding them. But I think that should they return, it’s fairly possible to say that they’re Squigs, simply because they provide Orks with a beast of burden before they have mastered Bikes, in the same way that Squiggoths replace tanks and transports for primitive Orks.

Snotlings are an interesting case. Pretty much everything they do has subliminal implications, most of which have not actually been revealed. They are ineffably mysterious, after all, what can be said for a small green adolescent biped that occasionally turns into a mushroom with a face?

Snotlings’ main societal role is that of cultivator. Without Snotlings, it is questionable that Orks could remotely manage to cultivate fungus. It also seems like they have a fundamental role to play in the sporing process. The Anzion article, during the bits on sporing mentions their role in the sporing order:

“…followed quickly by the Snotlings who can start to prepare the area.”
(The Anzion Article, 3rd Edition Ork Codex, pg.47)

This is so understated, and barely explained, but it seems intrinsically linked to their roles as fungus cultivators. It seems rather likely that without Snotlings, you’d not actually get any Gretchin or Orks. You’d just get a fair amount of Snotlings and lots of Squigs.

Snotlings also have an interesting relationship with Squigs, whom they frolic with. They also, for reasons I’ll explain in the next series, can trap Daemons. Snotlings have the capacity to be the most interesting and fundamentally important Orkoid in the whole 40k Universe. If the sagely fluff is right, they most likely already are, we just don’t know it yet.

Finally, we have the Gretchin. “Ah, but” you say, “they’re just slaves that generally meet a sticky end. How on earth can a lowly slave manifest resonance?” because they’re not merely slaves. That ultimately explains how the Orks treat them, and how Ork society works. It’s a classical feudal system, and Orks, along with the other “lesser” Orkoids sit on the lowest peg. But that doesn’t make the influence those Orkoids have insignificant. In many ways it is far more important and impressive than the influence of the Orks.

Gretchin have the most interesting, and underestimated aspects of resonance. They can shift resonance in such an absolutely radical way, that it can actually do more for Gretchin than for any other Orkoid. It has a rather radical, if understated manifestation, which for the purposes of Gretchin has a fairly submissive, but absolutely massive impact upon all of Ork society. Just what is this manifestation?

Luck.

The greatest argument for Gretchin resonance is Makari, the luckiest Gretchin who ever lived. In 2nd Ed, that Grot had a 2+ unmodified (essentially invulnerable) save against any and all damage he received, for any reason. The only save that could never, ever, in any circumstances, be ignored. Woof.

It actually makes sense, really. Gretchin can prove themselves invaluable to their Ork masters, something that the Ork will never get again. The resonance takes that idea of their irreplaceable nature, and makes it a reality. Gretchin themselves become literally lucky mascots.

It doesn’t stop there, either. Gretchin have a fair amount of influence on resonance. Contrary to quite wide-ranging and incredibly wrong Ork player belief, Gretchin build most things in Ork Society, starting with Ork Society itself. Whilst the Orks are developing under the ground as spores, Gretchin will have sought out a moderately distant, but suitable site for an Ork Settlement, and built one by the time the Orks arrive.

It may get replaced by a bigger one once the Orks arrive, but what is likely is that this original settlement will become the Gretchin part of Ork society, where some of the most important aspects of Ork society will occur: trade and organisation. It is pretty likely that in this arena, Gretchin will once again be able to tap into resonance, in order to help them convince the Orks that the Gretchin wares are absolutely necessary to their lives and they simply must buy them with teef, and not beat up the Grot and take it anyway.

Grots are smart and resourceful enough to make trade work anyway, but it is unlikely that the whims of resonance are far away from any process in Ork society. So, you know what this means: it means Grots also have mechamorphic resonance, and like the other Orkoids, have inherited skills and knowledge, and part of that will include construction and engineering knowledge. Not quite so useless, or harmless, eh.

So we come full circle now. We come back to the point we arrived at in the beginning of this part of the series. Orkoids are virtually inseparable, their whole is as great as the sum of their parts, successfully steered by the wonders of their fictional superpower: psychic resonance. It could be easy to conclude that it is far too powerful, and it does too much, to the point of devaluing the influence of the whole Orkoid race.

But we’ve already seen this argument, the one I mentioned in Part 2, which suggests that Orks are imbeciles who can’t build anything. We now know how wrong this outlook is. It is quite simple, really. Resonance is not infallible, and it wouldn’t exist either if the Orks didn’t have the potential to awaken it. Gretchin have always been capable workers, Orks capable warriors, Squigs edible food, useful and tenacious beasts, and Snotlings, well, they’re the only ones that have truly changed, imbibing much of their original potential into the Orks, to the point that this whole species can actually tap into what the Brainboyz were, and what ultimately they all could be.

To undervalue Orkoids because of this influence is pretty pointless, because it doesn’t actually matter. Resonance is as fallible as the species it supports, and it is as ingrained and fundamental as every aspect of what makes them the coolest fictional faction ever created in 40k, and perhaps the whole universe of fiction itself.

There is of course, one final lesson to learn about resonance. Orkoid Resonance is a whimsical thing, and it is no shield from reality. It is merely natural selection on acid

Chapter 17: Orky Does Not Mean Rubbish (and other misconceptions about Ork technology and know-wats)



Quote

“Mekboyz are jovially imprecise craftsmen, content to weld, rivet and hammer away at uncompromising chunks of metal debris until they have patched together a chassis, gun barrel or bionic leg. As a result of this individualistic approach, Ork technology has evolved in a ramshackle and exploratory way. This suits the Meks just fine, and the more inspired of their creations are just as deadly as the more aesthetically pleasing weapons created by the panzee or the fish'ead.” (Codex Orks: 4th Edition, pg.34)


I’ve been saving a particularly good misconception for a rainy day (it’s not raining today, but I wont let that stop me). Every once in a while, a misconception lies right under everyone’s nose. This one is a big one. We’ve covered one of its main arguments already (resonance), but we haven’t tackled the primary gist too much. Because there are many, many gamers who say that Ork Technology is rubbish. Needless to say, there are a number of flaws with this.



For one thing, Ork technology is not rubbish.



It can often be built from rubbish, but that’s not exactly the same thing, and anyway, the truly ramshackle, barely held together construct of resonance-held metal plates, thrown together as if they were fired from 50 Kannonz at a vat of spittle and optimism, is about as accurate to the idea of average Ork Technology as suggesting that the Emperor’s middle name is Jimbob. No. Don’t even give it the credibility of possibility.



Still, no misconception exists without a kernel of truth. Orks are phenomenally lazy. It’s a trait that many Orkoids share. It’s part of their character, along with a rather simplistic attitude to solving problems. The two issues are linked, and are logically part of the reason why, as a matter of fact, Ork innovation is better than one would expect. After all, if an Ork is going to bother to build something, it’s going to have to work not just well enough, but noticeable enough to justify the effort. Much hot air is espoused about resonance, and how it is the linchpin of Ork technology. As I have mentioned earlier, it just isn’t. It isn’t the engine of Orky know-wats, but merely one of the lubricants. It just doesn’t make sense that Ork Technology functions only because of resonance. Orks aren’t optimists. They probably wouldn’t even understand the word. As resonance is based on belief, how can Orks sustain their entire technology upon the basis of a concept that they barely even comprehend? The simple answer is, they don’t.



They don’t need to, after all. As instinctual they may be, Meks are naturally gifted engineers. They have a remarkable amount of genetically stored information that any human scientist, engineer or inventor would have to learn first. It is wrapped up together in a crude exterior that lacks refinement, but ultimately, there isn’t much room for failure when all Meks always have half an idea of what they are doing, even if they are unaware of it. The real issue is of many 40k Fans judging a book by its cover. They see the crude exterior, and they assume it’s all rubbish, and the Orks are dumb, the usual chestnut. It’s the same attitude inverted that assumes that Pansee are so amazingly sophisticated. But they’re the ones dying out.



Here is a case in point. Orks would view Pansee technology as pretty dumb. Sure, it’s refined, built from remarkable technology, but look how symmetrical it looks, how much detail and time has been given to ornate, and elaborate styling. To an Ork, all of that is a waste of time. In the time taken to do all that, an Ork could have built a dozen or so things that function pretty much as well without any unnecessary aesthetics. It says a lot about the gamer really, that something that looks outwardly polished is better than some outwardly rough looking thing (the cynic in me would point to GW's rulebooks to support this).



There is also the suggestion that Meks can only build things because of their inherent knowledge, and without it, they'd be like chimps banging rocks together. This makes no sense whatsoever. For one thing, Orks advance most of their technology through experiment, trial and error. An Ork who only has stored knowledge is never going to develop anything new, and well, that's just wrong. Ork society is one of the most creative and dynamic societies in the 40k universe. Orks are driven by what excites them, and nothing excites them more than a good scrap. Meks have a roaring trade in any Ork civilisation.



Still it helps, but calling Orks dumb or lesser because they rely on a collective storage of existing knowledge is a bit disingenuous considering that's exactly how it works. We are like that. We are dependent on a storage of knowledge that transcends our own lifespan. Are we as dumb as Orks? Exactly. Our storage of knowledge does not detract from our intelligence because of what we do with it. For one thing, we are always adding to that store of information. I see no suggestion whatsoever that Orks are beyond the point of new discoveries, or that all the information they need is exclusively from the distant Brainboy past. We know Orks develop new technology and ideas. We know they are in part inspired by the individuals who develop them. Take Orkimedes and his Telyportas for instance. We have an instance of an individual who has developed technology, and since that point more Meks have moved towards copying that goal. It's not fuelled entirely by resonance, but by innovation.



The individual factor in all of this is worth emphasising. Ork Society is driven, like any society, by the actions of multitudes of individuals. Not genetic pre-determinism, nor psychic nonsense, but by particular Orks, or groups, who for good or ill exert influence. Perhaps they are inspired by a good foe, influenced by those around them, or simply stumble into it all by chance. Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka was just some Goff. But for a variety of reasons he's now trying to engulf the whole Universe in a united Waaagh! of Orks. He's just one example. Whether one believes the idea of Ghaz being manipulated entirely into attacking Armageddon by the Pansee, he's still one of the largest and most successful Warbosses in the 40k Universe. He got there with more than a sufficient amount of personal attributes, irrespective of other factors that helped make him more than just your average Warlord.



Orks are often wielders of serendipity. Most of their adventures are linked to events they had no control over, that they merely reacted to. Orks are good at reacting to things. The building of the first gargants, of the desire for Waaaghs in the first instance started through technological advancement. Orks fought Titans, and thus the idea of large warmachines became attractive. Gargants became huge religious artefacts, leading to a religious apotheosis, making Gork and Mork even stronger, solidifying Ork belief, and forever altering Ork destiny. A random and unimpressive start perhaps? Well, I wouldn't buy that.



It falls back again to this idea that Orks have no direct part in their own advancement. So once again, it'll come back to resonance, and Orks blundering their way through event after event with merely stored knowledge, a super fix-all psychic gestalt and a bit of resourcefulness. The trouble with this is, it's a logical fallacy. A race that has psychic energy doing what most 40k fans say it does, does not need to be resourceful. In fact, that flies in the face of it. Why would a race need to bodge at all, if all its problems were solved by belief? Yet again, for about the fiftieth time, they aren't. Likewise, we all have stories (from fluff and in-game) of malfunctions and breakdowns. Ork technology is at the mercy of plenty of realities. Resonance merely spares Orks from some of them. It will never be more than that, because Orks aren't perfect. But nor are they nothing without resonance.



So what is Ork technology, if it isn't rubbish? It's certainly not pretty, nor is it reliable. Well, it's simple. It's straightforward, no-nonsense, and above all else, experimental. Orks represent the cathartic exploration of potential. They are instinctive, creative, and above all else, enthusiastic. Any idea, no matter how mad, can at least be tried. Orks don't worry about concepts that they deem valueless, like perfectionism, fatalism, or orthodoxy. They'll do what they like, in their own way, so long as they don't get distracted by something else. They lack sophistication, but they make up for it in disregard: for authority, for ethics, for safety, and for rules.



Ork innovation looks a little rough for a few reasons. The primary of which, is that Gretchin build the lion's share of them. Gretchin are, contrary to many misconceptions, excellent workers, builders and mechanics. They're small enough to get around, smart enough to follow instructions, and quickly experienced enough to make use of working knowledge to get their job done. It's what Gretchin do, they build. Any foundation, whether it is a building, vehicle or a community, it matters little. They are the glue that holds it together. Naturally, they're as straightforward as Orks, and almost as lazy. So don't expect the finest craft-work you'll ever see.



Some see the fact that Ork vehicles all look different as a weakness. It's true that Orks have never really mastered mass-production. But that's largely because it doesn't fit with who they are. Orks who go to a Mek want the individual touch. They want a gun for themselves. Every Ork is an individual, as I said, and their desires are different. In spite of the crude nature of Orks, they at least never doubt what they want. That means that the simplest race in all of 40k happens to be the most diverse. If they ever need mass-production, they simply conquer a Forge World and get them to make things for them in return for still being alive.



So, the next time someone tells you that Ork Technology is rubbish, simply remind them that Orks can build a wide variety of things from rubbish that can be just as deadly, just as fast, and just as cool as anything else in the 40k universe. If they tell you, only because it's held together by belief, tell them they're still not getting it. There is no measure of relying on external features that justifies the “Orkz deyz crap” argument. Because we're no different. That's why we love Orks.

Chapter 11: Snotlings: The Brainboyz?

Quote

“According to legend, the intelligent lost race of Snotlings, known as the Brainboyz, were still diminutive, so they bred a race of less-intelligent, but tougher, larger and more brutal creatures to do their work and fight their wars. These were the Orks and Gretchin.”
(Waaargh! The Orks, pg.6)


Now this is the difficult one. Snotlings are most likely the least known, least appreciated, and generally the most possibly-retconned of the Orkoid species. To unravel their story requires a lot more than reading literally into the canon: one needs to be a bloomin’ detective!

Still, as far as I’m concerned, Snotlings aren’t as much of a mystery as is often argued. Their most fundamental aspects are more or less the same as they have always been, and only deliberate efforts to throw doubt into something that Waaargh! The Orks stated as a certainty, and the most indirect retcon ever has made unpicking them a particular puzzle. Well, that and you’re lucky if an Ork book even bothers to mention them.

Snotlings are the smallest of the three greenskinned Orkoids, and they are usually smaller than Squigs, depending on the species. Snotlings are fairly childlike, and live pretty contented, oblivious and often short lives. The individual Snotling spends most of its time hanging around the drops, frolicking and playing with Squigs. There is some instinctual and natural affinity between the two species, and it is certainly very likely that Snotlings play a massive role in the development of the Orkoid Race, and Squigs in particular.

The Anzion article also seems to suggest that Snotlings have a fundamental role to play in the sporing process, meaning it is likely that without Snotlings acting as sort of diminutive, childlike farmers and cultivators, you’d not actually get any Gretchin and Orks. Given the origins suggested by the legend of the Brainboyz, that does make quite a lot of sense, but we’ll get to that later. As farmers, they also aid the Orks in the cultivation of fungus, which provides an awful lot of functions, as food, medicine, drink etc. They eat a rather large amount of fungus, and this can have unfortunate side effects.

Snotlings are, naturally, at the very bottom of the Ork’s social system. The only way it can get worse for them (and it does) is when they contract some of their more aberrant behaviours and appearances. The most common of these is, as a result of eating too much fungus that they often turn into mushrooms themselves going “fungoid”. Snotlings that do this get increasingly lazy, until they vegetate at the end of the drops. The names for these are Snotrooms and Mushlings, the latter also being a term of reproach for a young, inexperienced or unimpressive Ork. Both look entirely like mushrooms, but have the fixed visage of a grinning snotling face. The Orks use them predominantly as seats and on rare festive occasions, are even eaten. They are not completely helpless in this state however, being able to release poisonous spores to discourage predators.

The majority of a Snotling’s life will consist of them playing in the drops among the Squigs, who will occasionally eat a few of them: either in the heat of the moment, or because they’re hungry. For related reasons, Madboyz under the impression that they are Squigs, or indeed Snotlings, can provide similar hazards, either as a hunter, or accidentally being slightly too big to frolic with the very small and fragile Snotlings.

The Snotling’s interaction with other Orkoids is usually as servants. Gretchin must particularly relish having something smaller than them that they can boss about, and find Snotlings invaluable when trying to catch the juiciest, fattest Squigs for food preparation, as well as cultivating fungus, which Snotlings eat constantly. It is when Snotlings feast on nothing but fungus that they tend to turn fungoid. One presumes that Gretchin must be pretty vigilant in keeping an eye on trained Snotlings.

Most Snotlings, if they interact at all with Orks, will be through Runtherds. They are in fact the Runtherd’s bread and butter. Whilst a well-trained Gretchin servant is still very much a sought after commodity: any Ork can hit, shout at and threaten a Gretchin to do what they want, and do it more often if they need the Gretchin to do the task more effectively. Whereas Snotlings are pretty incomprehensible to other Orks and Gretchin, and it takes real skill to train one up.

Runtherds are famously attached to their Snotlings, and are particularly loathe to seeing them wasted. Such a fear is understandable, of course. Orks view them as pretty expendable, even eating them when food is scarce. Runtherds however know that Snotlings take a lot of time and effort to train. They understand that there will be inevitable losses, but Runtherds want their runts’ endeavours to count for something.

The most famous example of this attitude of Runtherds is encapsulated by the 2nd Edition named character, Zodgrod Wortsnagga, who got so angry at a Mek for his wastage of his prize Snotlings that he completely lost it with the Mek, who then managed to shoot himself through his own Shokk Attack Gun, with inevitably fatal consequences. Zodgrod got himself evicted from his tribe, and his clan, but this is a common outcome of many Runtherds, becoming Freebootas particularly to preserve their herds from the whims of the Tribe’s warmongering.

Snotlings offer a number of insights into Ork Culture. For one thing, they’re one of the very few cases that show how the Ork currency precisely works: by having an attached value. A trained Snotling is worth 3 teef each, which is supposedly quite a sum for an Ork to part with. Considering how small and numerous Snotlings are, it’s not hard to imagine why Runtherds are so keen to train up Snotlings.

In battle, although not delved into too much currently, Snotlings are actually rather vicious little things. Much like Gretchin, they favour large numbers, and will swarm a foe, scratching, biting and stabbing with primitive sticks and pointed objects. Sometimes they also use primitive projectile objects: simple bows, catapults and thrown stones. Much like Gretchin, their greatest advantage in combat is their enthusiasm, enjoying the whole situation, and generally being vicious little gits.

Of course the link between Gretchin and Snotlings is the source of most misconceptions. There are many Ork players who regularly confuse the two; some even seem to be unaware that Snotlings exist at all, which probably has a lot to do with the current miniatures range. Mind you, it hasn’t exactly helped that the 40k Snotlings have very much changed their appearance quite considerably over the years. They are even described in more recent fluff as resembling small, diminutive Gretchin; whereas in earlier editions, they had large, bulbous heads, with small, rounded noses and ears, whereas Gretchin have always had pretty protruding proboscises.

I tend to overemphasise this a little too much, but it is Snotlings that are the common ammunition of Shokk Attack Guns, and not Gretchin. Shokk Attack Guns will of course fire virtually anything, but Snotlings are used because they are small enough to easily send through the warp and out the other end and probably survive the journey. It might also help that Snotlings are simple enough to train to send them through the SAG willingly, whereas Gretchin are always wary of quite how close they get to such devices. They’re also too stupid to know any better.

Of course as it stands now, the Shokk Attack Gun is the most famous example of the contribution Snotlings make to the Orkoid war machine. Snotlings typically need to be specially trained by Runtherds for the job. Snotlings are not particularly afraid of anything, but through training they can be made almost enthusiastic about the role, jumping through hoops, or being sucked up pipes that have fungal treats at the other end. Every part of it builds up to the moment where the Snotling will pass through the warp, and afterwards, well, the Runtherds let the Snotling’s instincts kick in.

This probably explains the other interesting phenomena with this sub-species, which is the Warp-Crazed Snotling. Snotlings that survive the trip through a Shokk Attack Gun will typically be quite significantly affected by their experiences. Some will live out the rest of their lives with a morbid fear of any dark spaces, others will be completely fearless, and vicious. There is also the distinct possibility that a Snotling will emerge from the Warp possessed by a Daemon.

Daemonically possessed Snotlings are an interesting case. Orkoids are very hard to possess in the first place, and Chaos have very little influence upon Orks at the best of times. No Daemon will have complete control over a Snotling, and can only wield partial control of a Snotling at best; a situation that naturally causes both parties considerable distress. A Snotling in this position will be schizophrenic and irritable, spending much of its time muttering to itself, constantly changing its mood, and sometimes picking fights with much bigger and particularly dangerous opponents.

Of course, the Daemon would like nothing better than for the Snotling to die horribly as soon as possible, so that it can escape back to the warp. Sadly (for the Daemon) Snotlings have a natural instinct for survival, and with the natural protection from the Daemonic powers, they aren’t so easy to kill, making the poor Daemon in a horrendous situation of being more or less trapped. Possessed Snotlings are much treasured by Oddboyz (particularly Weirdboyz) as curiosities and mascots, or familiars.

However, the most interesting thing about Snotlings is that they could potentially be the largest threat to the entire Warhammer 40,000 universe.

Snotlings can, by travelling through the Warp, and generally getting used as ammunition in Shokk Attack Guns, end up stranded inside large constructions, such as Titans and Spacecraft. They will often end up stuck in some functional, even vital compartment, crevice or recess, without any means of escape, or causing immediate and noticeable damage during battles, but will have potentially disastrous long-term affects.

In these cramped conditions they will survive, and inevitably spore. Given the cramped conditions, only small Squigs and Snotlings will be produced by the spores, meaning that those cramped confines wont burst apart with the emergence of Orks and Gretchin. This can thus explain why Orks can end up on the likes of Imperial Hive Worlds (such as Necromunda), and can also explain some why some vessels have mysteriously “disappeared”. When, as Ere We Go! describes, a mystified space engineer reports malfunctioning devices to be plagued by “gremlins”, he is in some bizarrely literal way, hitting upon the truth, although it is Snotlings and Squigs.

This actually makes rogue Snotling colonies one of the biggest threats to the Imperium, moreso even than Genestealer infection! It sounds ridiculous, but sooner or later, a Genestealer infection runs the risk of detection, and it is somewhat possible to eliminate the genestealer threat once it is found. Snotling colonies could exist in ships and machinery for centuries undiscovered, slowly damaging vital systems, or rendering them unreliable, without the crew ever coming close to even suspecting the threat that exists. What with spores being easy to slip by detection and spread successfully in ideal conditions, it also makes planetary infection shockingly easy, meaning that even if we sniff at the potential in-game of the SAG, one can joke with your opponent about the potential far-reaching affects your SAG’s “stunned” results can have down the line!

Finally, it is pretty impossible to mention Snotlings and their origins without delving into the origins of the whole species. Whichever fluff you read discussing the Ork’s origins, the Snotlings are always fundamental to the process. It is also worth noting, that although the question of who the Brainboyz is has always been posed in every single book, every single book that mentions Snotlings has also said that they are what is left of the diminutive race that were once the Brainboyz. To say that Brainboyz being the Snotlings is only a theory is technically true, yet in light of everything that is explained about the Snotlings, it’s hard to imagine the Brainboyz being anything else.

Waaargh! The Orks again, is a prime example of this. I always view it as a bit of a running joke. Doubt is raised, then each time, when the fluff gets around to Snotlings; it explains how they de-evolved from being the Brainboyz. Every edition has played the same trick, apart from 3rd Ed, which barely mentions them at all. Still to my mind, there are only two valid explanations for the Orks’ origins that have ever been presented, and thus the only two that are likely to ever be considered true.

The first is the original, and is explained in some detail in Waaargh! The Orks (of course). The Brainboyz were a small diminutive race that ate special fungi that genetically altered them into being smart. If you read the chapter quote above, you get the Brainboyz’ solution to being short and weak. The Waaargh! Fluff does however provide the most fundamental aspect of the Ork’s origin fluff, which I am going to quote for you now:

Quote

“The sudden rise of super-intelligent Snotlings can only be explained as the result of a catalyst.”
(Waaargh! The Orks, pg.6)


The modern explanation of this is that the Orks were created by the Old Ones to fight the C’Tan and tin'eads. The definite reference of Snotlings is gone, but there are no other valid candidates to replace them, especially when the circumstantial evidence within the fluff clearly suggests that Snotlings are more than they appear to be. The important point is that the change has been the catalyst. That doesn’t really undermine what the Snotlings were or are, but merely the context. The small details still make the same amount of sense. Really you can view the rather silly and convenient chance reasoning of a special genetic-boosting fungus that eventually gave way to the explanation of an intelligent, specially engineered shepherd race that was designed to steward over specially spawning servants. The parallel between the Slann and Lizardmen with the Brainboyz and Orks is pretty exact, right down to the presence of the Old Ones, albeit that they are stated to not be the same ones.

The downfall of the Brainboyz has not changed either. The special genetic tinkering macguffin, of a special algae or fungus was forcibly taken from them by the Orks who rose up against them and seized power. In a completely unselfish, and brilliant act of genius, the Brainboyz saved the entire race by quickly and desperately encoding their methods into the whole race, and Orks in particular, giving them the flexibility to survive and thrive.

Even now, although complete conjecture on my part, I feel that the full knowledge of the influence and importance of the Snotlings is still yet to be realised. Their mantle of Brainboyz, has it totally left them? Certainly the return to glory is all-but impossible, but in some small way, Snotlings still wield some subtle influence on the whole society. Their place in the reproductive system, their relationship with the other Orkoids, it is so understated, but only in the same way, as the fictional great Sherlock Holmes once said: that a small needle might signal an earthquake.

Snotlings might yet turn out to be the most important Orkoid with the most fundamental role to play in the 40k universe. I would argue that role is already underway, and nobody has actually noticed. Well, almost nobody…

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