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 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:


Look. This is me. You can tell this is crap. Because just as I’ll happily tuck in/utterly demolish a Haggis and other food others might baulk at? I’ve a stomach for often derided movies. For instance, I entirely, unironically, really enjoy The Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker, to the point of genuinely wondering what all the fuss about the latter is.

I must admit, that when I hear you don't even have the stomach to find something worthwhile in this film, my immediate reaction is it must be pretty damn bad.

Which I'm fine with. The movie looked terrible and a lot of me really wanted it to fail to try and get the direction for Star Trek productions to stop trying to be modern action movies that do not suit the franchise as a whole. So if this movie fails, I'm good with that

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
Well it feels like it fits with the rest of Discovery. A lot of wasted potential.

Oh this is worse.

You know when you’re a kid, and something awful happens, and your Mam or Gran would, somewhat cryptically, say “worse things happen at sea”?

This is like the worst thing that could happen at sea, but also someone has violently inserted a Shark, one of the big ‘uns as well, not those crappy little ones, somewhere a Shark really has absolutely no business being.

And then poured vinegar on it. Whilst laughing like Jimmy Carr, and assorted other Channel 4 “comedians” attempt to add levity with what we’re all assured are witty comments.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 LordofHats wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:


Look. This is me. You can tell this is crap. Because just as I’ll happily tuck in/utterly demolish a Haggis and other food others might baulk at? I’ve a stomach for often derided movies. For instance, I entirely, unironically, really enjoy The Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker, to the point of genuinely wondering what all the fuss about the latter is.

I must admit, that when I hear you don't even have the stomach to find something worthwhile in this film, my immediate reaction is it must be pretty damn bad.

Which I'm fine with. The movie looked terrible and a lot of me really wanted it to fail to try and get the direction for Star Trek productions to stop trying to be modern action movies that do not suit the franchise as a whole. So if this movie fails, I'm good with that

My work here is done 🤣🤣

I need MDGs level of pain to be simplified for me...

Which would you rather watch: Section 31 again, or a Jack Whitehall movie?

Neither. Both are equally awful.

And like when, before the plague, we’d had World Food Days, and my colleagues of African descent would bring in Joliffe? When asked to choose between different Joliffes, my plan was to spontaneously combust.

The only difference being that Joliffe kicks arse. So much so, I dare not attempt it myself. As despite being a dab hand in the kitchen? I fear only self inflicted disappointment lies ahead in such an endeavour.

I thought this was a show not a film.

You're telling me the first Trek film we've gotten since Beyond (not a bad film either) was a direct to streaming (something only marginally better than direct to video) film?

Straight to Steaming Great Jobby.

The reviews sound disappointing but sardonically fitting as a bookend to modern trek era that started with STD's broadcast premiere. As a former lifelong trekkie, I haven't even bothered to watch most of the past half dozen seasons of anything trek (other than Pic S3 and a couple episodes of SNW S2) and I don't see this film changing that given the reviews from sources I trust and, most surprisingly, even those I no longer do which seem to agree.

Ya, I think this'll be the first ST thing I don't watch unless I get some kind of free pass to Paramount+. Besides being a bad premise its also a prequel? Or is it just a prequel because its set in the Disco era? What's this about there being a TV Show about Enterprise-C?

Technically it's not a prequel - to Disco at least - in that it takes place in the 'lost era' between Kirk and Picard. But I'm certain 98% of the story was untouched from when it was supposed to kick off directly after Disco season one (if even puts Georgiou back into a seedy club where Section 31 tracks her down to recruit her, just as happened in the season one end teaser), so it may as well be. Albeit the plot is so generic and, with one exception, untethered to anything in the rest of the timeline (or, indeed, the idea of Star Trek as a setting) we'd care about, it'd probably be more accurate to call it a Don't Carequel.

So far as I know the Enterprise C thing but I wouldn't put much credence in the idea that anything is going to spin off from this garbage fire until I see it in writing.

So what I'm hearing, I can toss this into the bin of stuff I'll watch for free if I'm bored.

Kinda like Strange New Worlds (aka, old Trek episodes with new special effects) and Discovery (the weird Trek show that made the JJ Abrams Trek seem grounded).

I say this as someone who's genuinely enjoyed the majority of new Trek (heck, I even have a little time for Picard season two): you'll never be that bored.

 Daia T'Nara wrote:
I say this as someone who's genuinely enjoyed the majority of new Trek (heck, I even have a little time for Picard season two): you'll never be that bored.

Don't get me wrong, I honestly liked Lower Decks and Picard Season 3.

I for one am glad that we in the Star Trek tread seem to have found something none of us want to argue about.

The movie looks like it sucks.

The movie sucks according to people who've seen it.

Those of us who thought it looked like it sucked are vindicated.

The people who have seen assure us again, it really is that bad.

Peace in the star trek fandom at last!

 LordofHats wrote:
I for one am glad that we in the Star Trek tread seem to have found something none of us want to argue about.

The movie looks like it sucks.

The movie sucks according to people who've seen it.

Those of us who thought it looked like it sucked are vindicated.

The people who have seen assure us again, it really is that bad.

Peace in the star trek fandom at last!

General Chang:
Oh, now be honest, Captain. Warrior to warrior. You do prefer it this way, don't you, as it was meant to be. No peace in our time. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends."

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
But if you enjoy this as someone familiar with Trek, never mind being a fan of Trek?

You need your bumps felt. With a patented, Grotsnik Corp Bump Feelerer 9,000.

The Grotsnik Corp Bump Feelerer 9,000. It only looks like several bricks crudely gaffer taped to a cricket bat.

Grotsnik Corp. Sorry, No Refunds.

Holy gak, I nearly spewed my drink all over my computer when I read this! I'm gonna have to add it to my sig, it's gotta be one of the funniest things I've read on Dakka in a long time!

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
So what I'm hearing, I can toss this into the bin of stuff I'll watch for free if I'm bored.

Kinda like Strange New Worlds (aka, old Trek episodes with new special effects) and Discovery (the weird Trek show that made the JJ Abrams Trek seem grounded).

No.

No no no.

Strange New Worlds is genuinely enjoyable. Like TNG and DS9, it has its dud episode now and again, but most of it is really genuinely good.

Discovery had potential, and there are some enjoyable things. It’s mostly not very Trek. In fact, I’m gonna be bold. If it wasn’t labelled s Star Trek, and was more generic sci-fi? It might’ve had a warmer reception.

Section 31 is just drivel. Like a moron decided to write a sci-fi movie, having seen Suicide Squad, and after a lobotomy. Aimless, meandering plot in which very little happens very slowly. A nonsensical plot device. Basically a super weapon, made by Georgiou in the mirror universe is now in the main one, and it’s sent to her by someone for reasons, then someone, I think it’s her son, pinches it back, for reasons, and it’s something to do with a mirror universe invasion, except it’s genelocked, so there’s absolutely sod all reason for Georgiou to go after it. That’s like the CIA desperately trying to catch up with Generic Naughty Person (GNP), because they found not only that GNP was off to bomb somewhere, but had driven off without the explosives, just taking the detonator.

Add in a horrifically overacted “Oirish” character that’s about as amusing as an episode of 8 out of 10 Cats with Jimmy Carr, Alan Carr, Russell Brand, Jack Whitehall and that blonde cockney fella with the massive teeth, and it’s you that’ll be wanting the lobotomy.

Oh yeah, and due to lazy hack writing? The superior paranoid and as such perceptive Empress Philippa Georgiou is only ever as perceptive as the plot needs her to be at any given second.\

You know how Willow was actually pretty good fun, but is now removed from tv forever and ever? That’s what should happen to Section 31. Just bin it. In a volcano. Tied to its writers.

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
So what I'm hearing, I can toss this into the bin of stuff I'll watch for free if I'm bored.

Kinda like Strange New Worlds (aka, old Trek episodes with new special effects) and Discovery (the weird Trek show that made the JJ Abrams Trek seem grounded).

SNW is some of the best Trek we've gotten in a long time. It gets back to the essence of Trek and doesn't try to "deconstruct" things and failing miserably.

I'm on that train. SNW is genuinely the most fun Trek I've seen in years (non-animated). Honestly SNW and Orville (feth off, this is Trek) are shining stars.

Sad that they wasted awesome evil emperor and deep dark black book Trek with a crappy movie. There were some genuinely cool things to explore.

Red Letter Media has chimed in on Section 31(% on Rotten Tomatoes). I haven't watched it yet but will tonight. In the meantime, I'll post the link here!

Section 31, better, or worse, than Borderlands?

 AduroT wrote:
Section 31, better, or worse, than Borderlands?

Dunno. They both have Jamie Lee Curtis in them though in case that seals the deal for you!

And RLM have declared Star Trek dead. Good show, Kurtzman.

 warboss wrote:
Red Letter Media has chimed in on Section 31(% on Rotten Tomatoes). I haven't watched it yet but will tonight. In the meantime, I'll post the link here!

They had me at 'I just don't give a crap.'

Because I agree. I just don't give a crap. Fortunately I have the option to really not give a crap and not make a 44 minute video (does this qualify as sadism on their end? I feel like it might) about the thing I never wanted to like to begin with XD

Thought they're right. It's always 'revenge' or 'super weapon' and that's dominated a lot of mainstreamed media going on 10-15 years now, hasn't it? And it really is so old. Like those ideas in themselves aren't horrible ideas. But when everything is basically the same idea, even the stuff that otherwise might qualify as decent to good just looks like gak.

At least it wasn't the "Rogue Admiral" plotline.

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
At least it wasn't the "Rogue Admiral" plotline.

Maybe they ran out.. hopefully? They seemingly go through them in modern trek like red shirts in TOS. It's like you can choose to major at Starfleet Academy specifically in villainy with a minor in mustache twirling.

Dear god now I remember that the Academy series is coming.

Should we make a bingo card? Because I've long had a theory that someone making new Star Trek thinks Star Trek: Renegades was fantastic and not one of the most overblown pieces of gakky fanfiction ever made because they keep ripping off plot points and elements from Star Trek: Renegades with such accuracy I am convinced that's exactly what's going on here.

Because Section 31 honestly reads to me like a remake of Renegades, complete with emotional moments that aren't emotional and a lot of 'haha funny' lines that are bafflingly unfunny.

 LordofHats wrote:
I for one am glad that we in the Star Trek tread seem to have found something none of us want to argue about.

The movie looks like it sucks.

The movie sucks according to people who've seen it.

Those of us who thought it looked like it sucked are vindicated.

The people who have seen assure us again, it really is that bad.

Peace in the star trek fandom at last!

I think its a good thing that everyone has a different Star Trek that is their favorite. It shows there's a lot of variety in the franchise. The strength of Trek is that it can do anything and when you're doing everything you're not going to please everyone.

Anyway, I think a show about the Enterprise C could be interesting. An Ambassador class! However, we'll know how it ends with that one but I guess they could cover it's career before.
If SNW is a throwback to TOS then perhaps this show will be a throwback to TNG.

Throwback in the current franchise seems to just mean creatively bankrupt.

The best show's they've made have been the ones that weren't trying to ape the previous series' or films (Lower Decks and Prodigy) and had actual original ideas to mix into the soup.

Stop throwing back and make something worth watching. Yes. I've seen Yesterday's Enterprise. It was a good episode. Why can't you make a good episode yourself instead of chasing nostalgia googles you the person making this show don't even have?

Ah. War in the Star Trek fandom. Peace was good while it lasted

Possibly a hot take, but for me the rot set in with Enterprise.

We had (for the umpteenth time of this particular whinge) the whole fallout of the Dominion War to explore, an Alpha Quadrant and Federation fundamentally changed by what occurred. Could Starfleet get back to peaceful exploration? How might the Romulans and/or Klingons seek to exploit the wounds left?

Instead….heres a prequel absolutely nobody asked for, with the wimpiest theme tune ever. Where there are no real stakes, because like all prequel media, we kinda know what’s not going to happen in the end.

Then of course it got a long, well earned rest.

JJ Abrams, possibly wisely, went the alternate timeline route, but in doing so fixed a future event, the destruction and evacuation of Romulus, which if memory serves was still trying to get its act together after Shinzon’s coup d’etat.

After that? It’s….another prequel absolutely nobody asked for!. And another, but thankfully that was SNW and whilst unasked for was at least good fun. Oh, and Picard. Ropey first season on balance, but I enjoyed it well enough, the advantage of an excellent lead with a reasonable supporting cast.

Prodigy and Lower Decks I’ll leave there, yeah. Haven’t seen, don’t want to see.

Then, like a wee rabbit Tod atop a poop cream sundae of largely mismanaged, boring stories? Section 31. The absolute worst of the bunch.

Where does it go from here? I honestly don’t know. I’d quite like to see Seven’s command followed in a fairly traditional series. But it’s all feeling like there’s nothing left to explore.

Modern boardroom based productions are so adverse to risk they just run through a franchises ideas and ruin them until they decide the fans aren't interested anymore