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I'm having a Guy Ritchie marathon today with some poor sods I was able to rope into this menagerie of British filmmaking.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Homes: A Game Of Shadows

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

Crypt of the Living Dead aka Hannah, Queen of Vampires, Young Hanna, Queen of Vampires and Vampire Woman

Look, you know you’re in for a certain experience when it’s a 1970’s Euro Horror known by various titles.

Starring….absolutley no-one of particular note.

Plot? There’s an island, and a Vampire was sealed in a tomb, but now she’s not, and everyone is gonna get ate off her, until presumably someone tops her.

That being said? I’ve seen markedly worse. And whilst no great shakes, there’s genuinely nothing objectively awful about it.

Finally watched Die Hard for the first time in decades and, TBH, had forgotten how good it was. Anything between clenching toes and the finale was a blur until then. What with Rickman chewing the scenery, some great, cheesy 80s fight scenes (I mean think McClaine was kicked in the head seven times before springing up and turning the tables) and a lot of deaths, it’s the true meaning of Christmas.

Just watched Puss in Boots Last Wish with my daughter. Total winner.

Great story, brilliant animation style, especially in the way it changes when the action scenes kick in. Great characters.

I mean it’s a kids film, but it’s really nicely done.

Hugely enjoyable time.

 Flinty wrote:
Just watched Puss in Boots Last Wish with my daughter. Total winner.

Great story, brilliant animation style, especially in the way it changes when the action scenes kick in. Great characters.

I mean it’s a kids film, but it’s really nicely done.

Hugely enjoyable time.

Yeah, it's a gorgeously animated film. The action scenes I think they did a technique similar to what the Spiderverse films use, where you have the camera recording and moving on 1's (that is every frame) and the keyframes of the character motion on 2's (that is they are only animated every other frame, holding each motion for 2 frames) which gives you that kind of jerky and snappy look. It works perfectly for action to really give it a kind of "comic book" look.

And spot on with the characters. It is an incredible movie, hugely enjoyable for kids and grown ups.

Alien Romulus

Pulled the trigger and bought it on Prime.

I’ve, entirely rightfully, praised this film before. But on my second watch through? I’m finding new things to appreciate.

Like the sounds design. The sounds of the shipboard industrial equipment is lifted from the previous installations, helping to cement this as part of the same universe.

And yes, on a second watch? I’m pretty sure Junkie No-Knob, the character who’s entire personality seems to be “I am do the drugs, therefore am are the cool” is intended to be a Richard and utterly unlikable.

So kudos to the actor for getting that across. Because like all decent portrayals of absolute Richards, we really should be wondering if they bothered acting at all.

Finally got around to watching the D&D movie. I thought it was pretty good, a fantasy "marvel" movie but done well enough.

Also watched the M4 fan edit of the Hobbit trilogy. I've had the "Tolkien edit" for ages, but this one is to my mind much closer to Tolkien. The editor and I seem to have similar taste because they cut everything I really hated out of the films and left only the stuff I liked. The result is my favourite Tolkien adaptation on film, by a decent margin (Fellowship of the Ring is in second place, and everything else comes way down the list after that!).

It does get a bit patchier toward the end, and there's silly stuff you just can't edit around (Bilbo being visible for the Smaug conversation for example) but overall it's an amazing job.

Yeah, Die Hard has such as legendary status that each time I see it I'm taken with how good it actually is. Maybe actually listening to the Beatles would be a similar experience. I wouldn't know.

@Da Boss: Exactly the impression I got from the D&D film. Michelle Rodriguez is good again. Good role.

The Last Dragon (1985)

15 minutes into this and I'm 12 years old again and in Jackson Heights with my best bud...

Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night!

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
The Last Dragon (1985)

15 minutes into this and I'm 12 years old again and in Jackson Heights with my best bud...

Feel the beat of the rhythm of the night!

Sho’nuff!

I still find it funny that Arcadian’s Cindy Lauper-wannabe girlfriend and the Saki-to-Me guys both got better songs than Prince’s protege. A professional singer’s performance shouldn’t have the audience saying, “Oh thank God it’s El Debarge.”

Battleship

Possibly my favourite Objectively Not Very Good Movie.

It’s crap, I know it’s crap. I don’t deny it’s crap. But goodness I adore this film. I guess I’m just a sucker for naval combat and sci fi silliness.

It's a movie that on the one hand, knows exactly what it is and came out better for not being pretentious about it.

It's a strange film because you can see so many parts are daft just to fit the "Battleship boardgame" idea they went for. Yet at the same time there's a few bits of the story - like the alien that randomly lets them get away with what they are doing - which just begs more questions and gives a sense of depth behind the story that you honestly don't expect from what's basically a fun action-flick.

I’m also genuinely impressed at how perfectly fine Rihanna is as an actor.

I mean, it’s not as if this is her attempting Shakespeare or a bit of Alan Bennet. But she’s far from wooden, displays genuine emotion. As a bit of arugable stunt casting, it worked out better than I was expecting.

And of course, the Old Boy’s getting one final jolly is just absolutely superb cinema. Shcmaltzy? Sure. But they genuinely took the Missouri out for a sail. And to see guns if that calibre roar their fury is just *chefs kiss*. Almost certainly life from War of the Worlds, but who cares.

Yeah, but it's not Battle of the River Plate (my dad's personal favourite film for warships doing warship things) is it?

Featuring the cast of USS Salem, RFA Olner, HMS Sheffield, HMS Jamaica, HMNZS Achilles, HMS Cumberland, RFA Fort Duquesne, and HMS Birmingham.

Oh, and some humans, too.

Never seen more than 2 minutes of Battleship, only the Asylum film American Warship.

Friend of mine invited me to watch The 'Burbs (1989) last night. First time I watched the English dub version (I think). Especially interesting since just a few days ago I heard this film being listed by people as one of the few things they actually prefer the German dub version over the original audio. English version is perfectly fine. It's been ages since I watched the film, surely 10 years. I do love that film though. It's just fun and I like the dynamic of that neighborhood, and it's got several great scenes and quotes ("electricity is our friend", "Sardine?", "Hey, Pinocchio! Where you going?"). The most astonishing thing is that you got the big lead actor in Tom Hanks (okay it was post-Splash and Big, same year as Turner&Hooch, 4 years before Philadelphia), but in no way he's overpowering in that role. He fits in very well as being the almost-straight man to all the insanity around him. The Corey Feldman role is a genius inclusion. He's the viewer's avatar and tells us about the mindset we should watch this film in.

Amazing cast, great fun, silly things happen.

It is surprisingly good for a crap film.

In fact. I’d call it a Champion Of Mediocrity. That you don’t have to be superb, novel or groundbreaking to be entertaining.

I prefer Rhianna in Valerian. Another film that I enjoyed probably way more than it really deserved

Best line in Battleship

It will take more than that to sink THIS Battleship!

So good and so bad all at once!

I watched Battleship recently just because and forgot how genuinely enjoyable it was. It's silly, campy, and all of that but damn does it know it and it almost revels in it. Also killing off the "big name" of the time right away was amazing and still is

Shame that is lost Universal $150 million. Could of been the Iron Man of its genre and set us up with the Board Game Cinematic Universe.

The world just wasn't ready.




Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Sigur wrote:
Never seen more than 2 minutes of Battleship, only the Asylum film American Warship.

Friend of mine invited me to watch The 'Burbs (1989) last night. First time I watched the English dub version (I think). Especially interesting since just a few days ago I heard this film being listed by people as one of the few things they actually prefer the German dub version over the original audio. English version is perfectly fine. It's been ages since I watched the film, surely 10 years. I do love that film though. It's just fun and I like the dynamic of that neighborhood, and it's got several great scenes and quotes ("electricity is our friend", "Sardine?", "Hey, Pinocchio! Where you going?"). The most astonishing thing is that you got the big lead actor in Tom Hanks (okay it was post-Splash and Big, same year as Turner&Hooch, 4 years before Philadelphia), but in no way he's overpowering in that role. He fits in very well as being the almost-straight man to all the insanity around him. The Corey Feldman role is a genius inclusion. He's the viewer's avatar and tells us about the mindset we should watch this film in.

Amazing cast, great fun, silly things happen.

To this day, anytime I see a redheaded dude with a beard, I think of Hans Klopek from The Burbs.

Constantine: City of Angels

This is a DC animated film starring John Constantine, the Hell Blazer. Who I honestly know very little about as a character other than what I got from limited DCU animated appearances and that live-action Keanu movie.

In this one, John helps an old friend who's daughter is in a coma. These leads to a run-in with an old enemy, some back story, and some supernatural noir hi-jinx.

Overall, it was okay.

Justice League: After Dark

I think that was the name. Another DCU animated flick with Batman, Zatanna, Etragon/Jason Blood, Deadman, and John Constantine going up against some supernatural baddies.

I do like the Supernatural side of comic book flicks. The main baddie is boring as all get-out. However, there is some strong magic battles in this one. However, I really wanted to see some Dr. Fate.

If you want some Magic battles, this is good for that and not much else. It was nice to see Batman in the sidekick role though.

 Hulksmash wrote:
I watched Battleship recently just because and forgot how genuinely enjoyable it was. It's silly, campy, and all of that but damn does it know it and it almost revels in it. Also killing off the "big name" of the time right away was amazing and still is

Honestly thought I was the only one with an appreciation for it. Nice to know there’s other Dakkanauts open to its silliness.

Also, there’s something oddly 40K about the “we’ve got one ship” bit. Bringing a relic out of Mothball, and having it kick the enemy’s arse back to where it came from.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
On Alien Romulus? Watched it again today. And I honestly don’t know if I’m just more used to the effects, or if they’ve gone back and fixed them up a bit, but Rook’s facial mapping seemed much stronger. The mouth still isn’t quite right (it looks ‘floaty’, like it’s not fixed in place on the face), but it’s not as wrong looking as in the cinema.

Day of the Jackal 1973.

It's a little over 2 hours. I found it very engaging the entire time. You see the Jackal setting everything up for his assassination attempt and the French Governments attempt stop him.

It was a heck of a ride !

Flight of the Navigator

Probably the first film I saw in the theatre at my own request. And it’s a corker.

Solid creature effects, amazing CGI for its time (nearly 40 years ago).

Just a terrific movie, spesh if you’ve got kids.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Seems I’m on a 1986 kick today. Because now, it’s

Short Circuit

Still an interesting and entertaining film. Shame about the Brownface though.

I particularly like the inversion of a robot becoming self aware, and being really quite a pleasant chap, when it’s typically a horror trope. Makes me wonder what other horror tropes might be made into wholesome movies.

I have really fond memories of Short Circuit. We had a VHS of it recorded off the TV which got a lot of playtime when me and my brothers were small.

Just finished Gateth Edward's The Creator (2023).

It was really stylistic, loved the whole look to the film... but the plot line and characters and technology is stone stupid.

This whole movie could've been good... but it wasn't.

Spoiler Rant:


There were so many dumb things that just took me out of this film... I really wanted to enjoy it.

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
Hypothetical Question:

The answer to all your questions is that it is the future. THE FUTURE!


I know I saw it but the only thing that really stuck with me was that there was some nice cinematography.

Red One - enjoyable action romp.

Chris Evan’s accent is somehow the least believable thing in a movie about Santa being kidnapped.

But it’s good fun.

I remember Short Circuit being pretty good, but Short Circuit 2 is a damn classic. We rewatched it last year and it still holds up!