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Alright, because I was about to watch Rifftrax Live: Samurai Cop.

 Overread wrote:
Nemesis tried but was very combat heavy. It setup a great stage though and its a shame that we never really saw it go further after in Startrek. Even when we revisit that timeline properly in Picard, we get a huge time-jump of decades which kind of means that we miss out on a huge chunk of development and change in things.

I didn't have a problem with Nemesis being actiony, but with the fact that most of what was going on in between the action scenes was really boring. And the basic premise was all a bit silly, made moreso by the fact that the only visual clue we have to the origin of this guy who looks nothing whatsoever like Patrick Stewart is the rest of the crew seeing a bald man and immediately going 'By god, he must be a clone of Picard!'

It had some cool bits, though, and was largely quite pretty to look at.

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
Wait, we're allowed to watch good movies?

Fear not! I have just watched Plankton! The Movie. Sadly it was not a monster of the week movie about vicious microscopic sea critters. This is the next shameless cash grab entry in the Spongebob franchise. My son wanted to watch it, as he dearly loves Spongebob.... but this thing is worse than Kamp Koral. What makes a good plankton movie? Gadgets, dastardly gizmos, and absurd plans?

Nope. Karen. Then more Karen. And finally, 4 Karens! Also they have a song, and a katamari damacy style robot without all the whimsy and silliness.

Oh, and psychoanalysis. By Spongebob, which is nowhere near as fun as it sounds.

If one of your little ones or cousins suggest it, do yourself a favor and push for whichever Sonic they're on these days.

Star Trek: Insurrection


The worst Star Trek.



There are so many reasons I dislike this movie. The conflict feels like a retread of an already mediocre episode. The dialogue and character moments are so low effort they feel cynical. The endangered Baku being punchably smug cottage-core new wave healthcare-hogging Mary sues feels like they’re on the wrong side of the conflict. Teasing bigger picture conflicts the movie could have been about instead of this backwater fratricide. The music is bland, and also somehow punchable. Action Picard is now also Mambo Picard. Worst of all, big chunks of the film are just boring.

At least Nemesis had that space battle.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Star Trek: Insurrection


The worst Star Trek.



There are so many reasons I dislike this movie. The conflict feels like a retread of an already mediocre episode. The dialogue and character moments are so low effort they feel cynical. The endangered Baku being punchably smug cottage-core new wave healthcare-hogging Mary sues feels like they’re on the wrong side of the conflict. Teasing bigger picture conflicts the movie could have been about instead of this backwater fratricide. The music is bland, and also somehow punchable. Action Picard is now also Mambo Picard. Worst of all, big chunks of the film are just boring.

At least Nemesis had that space battle.

Worse than Star Trek 1/3/5? That's a pretty tough sell.

And Nemesis has Tom Hardy (aka Venom) in a plot that fails if the Federation sent any other ship in the fleet.

And are you referencing the battle from Nemesis where Riker breaks our the joystick to manually fly the enterprise?

Insurrection to me felt like a nothing story in that it didn't really go anywhere new for the cast or the Federation. It really did feel like it was just a regular episode scaled up and filled out into a movie length adventure.

It just lacked that element of grandeur and scale and impact that makes a movie story stand out from the regular adventures.



ALSO Startrek 1 The Motion Picture is freaking awesome!

Riker’s joystick is in Insurrection, not Nemesis. (And I never really had much a problem with Riker flying the E like a fighter jet.)

Star Treks 1 and 5 are ambitious failures that make odd yet compelling choices. 5 is bad but never boring, and 1 has great special effects. They both have weird vibes that make them stand out from the other Trek movies.

3 is a good but not great Trek. Generations at least gets Picard and Kirk together and crashes the saucer. I’ll be rewatching Nemesis soon, but I remember that one feeling like a (dumb) movie, and having a decent space battle.

Children of the Corn 2 - The Final Sacrifice

Apparently this got a cinematic release. I’m guessing perhaps as a joke. I’m mere minutes into it, and it already feels like Own Brand Corn Flakes.

It immediately feels cheap and nasty. Finished it now.

Dreadful.

But onwards!

Children of the Corn 3 - Urban Harvest

This one was direct to video. I don’t hold out much hope. But, I’ve been surprised and enthralled by such low key efforts before.

Well bugger me sideways! This is genuinely alright! It’s doesn’t quite land the creepiness it’s going for, but it does work overall.

Heretic (2024) A man traps two two young female Mormon missionaries in his house and engages them a discussion on the nature of religion and faith. A very tense and engaging film with a great performance from Hugh Grant. The trailers kind of make it seem like it is more of a trapped house or Saw type of movie but really it is a dialogue heavy battle of wits. The kind of film where none of the characters are made stupid or do anything that would make you facepalm. It isn't really a "twist" film but definitely better knowing less about it going in makes for a more enjoyable experience. Definitely worth a watch if you like smart horror films.

Scarecrows

In which some criminals, seemingly Mercs, get double crossed by a member, who bails out with the loot.

In hunting him down, they run afoul of killer Scarecrows. I think they’re going for an Aliens vibe.

The costumes are well done, and there is a somewhat creepy atmosphere.

Boy Kills World

A meditation on the nature of Totalitarian government, and how no one avoids being tainted by it. Whether you are the ruling elite enforcing the new order, the people fighting for freedom, or the citizens caught in the middle. At least, that is what this pretentious hat-wearing consumer saw.

Most people will probably see a slick visual action flick with good fight choreography and a wacky premise. I guess that is in there too.

This thing has not found an audience yet, but I think it will be a Cult film once people start catching it on streaming. Perhaps, it is a bit too glum for our modern times though?

Samurai Vendetta at Iga
A brisk 45 minutes, it is basically 13 Assassins on a smaller scale, and is pretty much a perfect encapsulation of a Samurai drama with all the core elements. I can not shake the feeling what I saw was a cut-down version of the OG version.

Hellboy: The Crooked Man
I didn't even finish it and I am not sure why. It is not inherently bad, but it just did not grab me. Felt like Content for the Content Gods and to keep the copyright.

I enjoyed Boy Kills World. I can see it also going cult status eventually.

I watched The Gorge this weekend. Genuinely enjoyed it. The plot is almost paper thin but the two leads make it very enjoyable throughout. It won't go on my watch yearly list but it'll likely go on the pop it on if I see it sometimes list.

Sleepaway Camp 2

Sequel to a notorious slasher, which involves a transgender killer. They’re not crazy because they’re trans. Rather, they’re crazy because they were forcibly raised female by their nutty Aunt, having lost the rest of their family in an accident.

So yeah, be forewarned if you’re wanting to watch this, as it’s not at all empathetic to the modern mindset. It is however camp, and rather silly. Top moment so far for me is the kids running around in Jason, Freddy and Michael costumes, and not surviving the experience.

Sleepaway Camp 3

In which Angela returns, again, and kills a bunch of people for ever more tenuous reasons. Really not much to see here.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Scalps

Fred Olen Ray again, this time an early, micro budget movie about six people, Native American Spirit Possession, and rather more ambition than ability.

Which isn’t a slight against it. Indeed, I love this sort of early effort movie, where the crew are still learning their craft, and trying their best.

The print quality here is awful, probably because it was shot so cheaply. But the tale is interesting enough, and as with many low budget offerings, there are the bones of a much better film here.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Drive-In Massacre

In which our loony keeps killing patrons of a Drive-In Movie Theatre. Which is on the site of a former brothel, and run by an ex-Carnie.

I don’t really know what’s going on here, but the kills (by sword) are entertainingly daft.

And when the film ends, we don’t know who the killer is, or why they were doing it. Which I’m afraid makes the entire affair really rather pointless - on home media.

See, the twist, such as it is, is a PSA type thing announcing such killings happen at Drive-Ins up and down the USA….and the killer is reported as being here, tonight - but don’t panic, the Police are on their way.

Yeah, that doesn’t work on the small screen, does it. But an interesting relic all the same.

I noticed most of the movies are horror films, is there a theme, or do you just review what you like?

Currently making my way through a 50+ movie collection of Slashers.

I do watch other genres, but this is a special mission. Next one is number 21 of 54, and has a name I probably shouldn’t use on Dakka.

Might take a break and stick on some classics. For instance, I’ve Tango & Cash, which I don’t think I’ve ever watched.

Just wanted to make sure before I posted something that wasn't a horror movie or a bad film.

Title is in bold. Anything else?

The Longest Day(1962) is an epic war film that masterfully portrays the D-Day invasion of Normandy from multiple perspectives, covering the experiences of American, British, French, and German forces. What sets it apart from many other war films is its commitment to authenticity—not only in its large-scale battle sequences but also in its multilingual approach. The Germans speak German, the French speak French, and the English-speaking forces use their respective dialects, making it one of the most immersive depictions of the invasion ever put on film.

The film boasts an all-star international cast, including John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, Henry Fonda, Sean Connery, Richard Burton, Peter Lawford, Eddie Albert, Rod Steiger, George Segal, and Red Buttons, among many others. The European cast features notable names like Curd Jürgens, Gert Fröbe, and Wolfgang Preiss on the German side, while Jean-Louis Barrault and Arletty represent the French.

With its documentary-style storytelling, sprawling battle sequences, and attention to historical detail, The Longest Day remains one of the most comprehensive and gripping portrayals of D-Day ever made. It captures the invasion from the strategic planning stages to the chaos on the beaches, offering a rare, large-scale view of one of history’s most pivotal days.

This thread is for all films, but we do tend to focus on genre fare......


Anyone but You

A rom/com Sydney Sweeney/Glenn Powell vehicle that was released to the theatre. The Genre seems stuck to streaming only for the most part, with a few notable exceptions. Many people think that this genre is dead at the box office, and this was an attempt to bring it back. I am not sure how successful it was, as it is really just Much Ado About Nothing. Word on the street, is that Sydney Sweeney only made Madam Webb in order to get this film made and released.

I have seen a lot of Rom/Coms and this one makes use of a good Meet-Cute and has a good Enemies-to-Lovers basis. The characters are fun, and the core is; of course; miscommunication. There is more to like than dislike in this film, and the characters are all easy on the eyes.

Final point, this movie is a Sydney-ception as it takes place in Sydney, Australia.

If the movie is really atrocious, the forum demands a glowing review of the film.

The legacy of Dr. Clayton Forrester lives on.

Olivia

But here viewed under an alternative, crude name which I don’t want to post on Dakka.

A thriller, about a young woman who, as a child, saw her prostitute mother killed on the job, and dumped in the Thames. And one could say she’s…..in two minds about the whole thing.

For a 1983 shlock, this is surprisingly subdued. It portrays Olivia, the central character, as someone rather wretched and unwell, rather than crazy ape bonkers. Background sound is rather good too.

Yup. A genuinely decent psychological thriller. Very uncomfortable viewing in parts due to SA, but it’s not shot or presented as titillating. Other opinions on that are available, and I’m not advocating for such scenes in movies where implication can serve much the same purpose. But gain, for a 1983 almost Giallo? This handles things pretty tastefully.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
The First Power

Lou Diamond Phillips in a criticially panned but commercially successful supernatural “wait, isn’t this just Shocker but less good” avoidable waste of time.

Basically satanic serial killer has been doing his thing so he can resurrect, by virtue of possession. And he can reveal himself to whom he likes, when he likes. And that can be different people at the same time.

The concept is fine, and clearly born out of the Satanic Panic. But the execution is sorely lacking. Once again, but on a higher budget making it all the more frustrating there are the bones of a decent movie here. But instead we get a nonsensical mess of quite staggeringly wasted opportunity.

Best moment is when the baddie, having first revealed his survival, leaps from a multi-storey building, to cat fall and scarper. That’s a genuinely well shot bit of action, despite the necessary jump cuts to different angles. But the last shot they’re falling a good few feet to land on their, erm, feet, then leg it.

Also, Mr Diamond Phillips spends quite a lot of time (literally) aimlessly discharging his pistol to absolute no avail. And we see someone run over by a Horse and Cart.

This past saturday, we went to the theater (a rare thing for me) to celebrate an old friend's birthday, and went to see "Mickey 17"

It was an enjoyable flick. And the one thing all 3 of us adults agreed on, is that the film "knows" what it is. It's never overly serious, overly funny, overly romantic, etc. It's just a ridiculous movie and was a fun bit of 2 hours

I just watched Mickey 17

I went in with high hopes.... and it fell a little flat. Pattinson did a goodish job, with his part, so I'll give him that.

Mark Ruffalo though.... geesh. There's political satire, and then there's this. Ruffalo somehow goes overboard while also seeming like he phoned it in. I'm feeling like the script didn't give him any help here.

The movie also has plot holes large enough to fly their spaceship through, and a handful of side plots/sub plots that could have been cut and don't go anywhere.

Now, don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting a serious, hard-core, realistic sci fi here. I went in ready to switch on my suspension of disbelief. THe movie didn't quite work for me.

The Portable Door

A down-on-his-luck man joins a mysterious company that guides humanity from the shadows, and is tasked with finding the macguffin of the title.

It's not a bad film, some of the writing and acting is a bit amateurish (I could never work out if magic was common knowledge or not, it doesn't get used often but no one seems surprised when it happens), but it's entertaining enough and has Sam Neill in it (Who always does a good turn in anything he's in).

And honestly, it's a made for TV movie based on a children's book, I didn't go into it expecting a masterpiece.

Ruse de Guerre

A Guy Ritchie movie starring Jason Statham, Cary Elwes, Audrey Plaza, Josh Hartnett, and Hugh Grant.

This is Ritchie's James Bond film. It is entertaining enough but ultimately not great. The stand-out is Hugh Grant. He is an amazingly slimy, somehow sympathetic arms dealer heel who reminds me a lot of Austin Powers. Josh Hartnett barely registers compared to everyone else.

Fun, but nothing special. An easy movie night film.

 cuda1179 wrote:
I just watched Mickey 17

I went in with high hopes.... and it fell a little flat. Pattinson did a goodish job, with his part, so I'll give him that.

Mark Ruffalo though.... geesh. There's political satire, and then there's this. Ruffalo somehow goes overboard while also seeming like he phoned it in. I'm feeling like the script didn't give him any help here.

The movie also has plot holes large enough to fly their spaceship through, and a handful of side plots/sub plots that could have been cut and don't go anywhere.

Now, don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting a serious, hard-core, realistic sci fi here. I went in ready to switch on my suspension of disbelief. THe movie didn't quite work for me.

I would have forgiven it all, if the pacing was good. But it was jarringly all over the place.

 Easy E wrote:
Ruse de Guerre

A Guy Ritchie movie starring Jason Statham, Cary Elwes, Audrey Plaza, Josh Hartnett, and Hugh Grant.

This is Ritchie's James Bond film. It is entertaining enough but ultimately not great. The stand-out is Hugh Grant. He is an amazingly slimy, somehow sympathetic arms dealer heel who reminds me a lot of Austin Powers. Josh Hartnett barely registers compared to everyone else.

Fun, but nothing special. An easy movie night film.

Josh Hartnett has been added to the stable of Guy Ritchie actors like Carey Ewles and Jason Statham .

He was better in this than Wrath of Man.

Did enjoy the Aubrey Plaza verbal snipes towards Statham's less than astute character.

Just the one movie tonight, as I’m having a mare of a week at work, and want to go lose myself in a book.

Intruder

Bruce Campbell! Ted Raimi! Greg Nicotero! A slasher….set in a Grocery store?

Pretty sure I’ve seen this before, and with a cast like that and the setting? Confident I’m in for a good time.

I was right, this is terrific. Original setting for any horror movie, inventive and grisly deaths with Mr Nicotero’s signature solid effects. And it’s comfortably straddling the line between grotesque and silly.

The Princess Bride

A tale of true love and sword-fighting.

A few months ago I rewatched Labyrinth for the first time in decades. It wasn't a film I liked as a kid, but, intrigued by its cult status, thought I'd give it another shot. Turned out adult me actually quite likes it.

The Princess Bride falls into the same category, unfortunately the rewatch didn't meet with the same success, I still think it's a pretty stupid movie.
The problem is, this one is more of a comedy movie than a fantasy one, and I still find comedies are very hit and miss with me (I think my main problem with Labyrinth all those years ago was the singing, which isn't such an issue now).

Still gotta rewatch The Dark Crystal at some point to complete my trio of beloved fantasy classics that kid me didn't like.

Hey even Thrudd got in on the Dark Crystal action!

Arena Wars

You know those times are night, when you can’t quite switch off? And your brain fills with random, almost childlike pondering?

Well, if one of said ponderings happened to be “what if The Running Man was crap”

Here’s your answer.

Nobody is giving their performance any effort. And the punch ups are spectacularly poorly thought out and the choreography is pathetic. The whole thing feels stitched together, and poorly so.

The only name involved is a clearly bored Michael Madsen, as one of the commentators. And it’s blatantly obvious he’s just there for a quick payday, and rather than reacting to footage of the action has been given an uninspired description of what’s meant to happen. Which only adds to the disjointed feeling between perspectives.

 aku-chan wrote:
The Princess Bride falls into the same category, unfortunately the rewatch didn't meet with the same success, I still think it's a pretty stupid movie.

You take that back right now! I will tolerate no slander about one of the greatest movies ever made! Apparently you need your bumps felt with one of Mad Dok Grotsnik's Bump Feelerers...

I am joking of course! But The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies and I have fond memories of seeing it for the first time when I was maybe 8 years old (the movie itself is as old as me!). If it just didn't click for you, that's perfectly okay.