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So, I saw a thread over at BOLS and thought I might as well start one here. Post some quotes that never existed. Kinda self-explanatory.
Horus and emperor:
"Son...how could you do this to me...?"
"You aren't my father"
"Yes I am"
"Then you owe me £38,000,000 in child support"
"No I'm not"
"Thought so"

Istvaan:
Vulkan- "we're getting slaughtered by the Iron warriors! Call for reinforcements!"
Corax- "Here they are!"
*the 4 support legions open fire on the raven guard, salamanders and iron hands*
Vulkan- "Oh shi-"

*deleted by the Inquisition*

Now the quote above may have existed or not, we may never know and further interest in the quote grants you unwanted attention

Seriously, the moment you post it, it exists.

"Look over there!"-The mysterious disappearance of Corax

(Aboard Horus' Battle Barge at the assault of Terra)

Sanguinius: So Horus, wanna re-think the whole Heresy thing?

Horus: Well, maybe.....

Sanguinius: *Pauses*
Really?

(Now standing over sanguinius' corpse)

Horus: Nope.

"99 barrels of mead in hold, 99 barrels of mead! Drink one down throw it around 98 barrels of mead in the hold"-Last transmission of Leman Russ Primarch of the Space Wolves

"Crime doesn't pay"-Konrad Curze on destorying Nostramo

"And knowing is half the battle... hey what are you guys-" Last recorded words of Farseer Eldrad of Ulthwe Craftworld

"Take that Abbaddon you power armour wearing pansy! 13 is your unlucky number! Oh you think YOU can beat me? and to beat you it would take some kind of tactical gen-ME!!!!!!"-Uskar E. Creed on hearing of Abbaddons stalled 13th Black Crusade.

From my (dead) primarch ranking thread:
Emprah and Angron (right before he gets tele'd away)
"Join me."
"Nope. I would rather die with my comrades"
"If you only knew the power of the Imperium. The slavers never told you what happened to your father."
"They told me enough! They told me he was killed!
"No. I am your father."
"No... that's not true! That's impossible!"
"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."
<teleporting noise>
"NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!" (Angron watches his rag tag army get defeated.)

The Emperor: Hey Malcador, while you're down there...

Guardsmen Ted: Hey Bob, look at this awesome Plasma Gun I got!
Guardsmen Bob: Nice Ted! What's that blue glowing thing?
Guardsmen Ted: The Plasma holder, I think. Care to test fire the thing?
Guardsmen Bob: Yeah! I'm gonna hit the bottles over there...(Aims) ...and FIRE! AHH! AHH! AHH!

From then on, Guardsmen Ted never volunteered for special weapons duty. He uses Bob's lasgun to this day.

In the Imperial Guard, even your own guns try to kill you.

"I never would have imagined I'd end up as an immortal toilet-god" Thoughts of the Emperor on the Golden Throne.

"Make sure you only feed me female psykers with at least a C cup size... got it Dorn?"

-The Emperor, on his interment within the Golden Throne. Only the custodes know what really powers the Astronomicon...

"Oh no, I can't feel my toes!" a dreadnoughts first reaction when being awakened.

"Hey Abbaddon where did you say the drop site was?"-Ferrus Manus

Blood angels initiate: So, I just have to drink this dead guy's bodily fluid and I'm in?

For Black templar Grenades
"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count....."

Wardragoon wrote:For Black templar Grenades
"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count....."

Someone needs to model this scene one day.

Mr Nobody wrote:

Wardragoon wrote:For Black templar Grenades
"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count....."

Someone needs to model this scene one day.

5 is right out!

Don't believe in yourself. Believe in the God-Emperor, who believes in you!

Lexx wrote:

Mr Nobody wrote:

Wardragoon wrote:For Black templar Grenades
"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count....."

Someone needs to model this scene one day.

5 is right out!

Neither shall though count to two, unless though proceeds to count to three.

Emperor Custodes:
We're sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperors groove....

Fossil Fuels in the 41st Millenium

Void Master: My Lord-Captian, the engine furnaces are loosing power, we are running low on fuel, we need to find an expendable burnable substance.

Captian: Throw another guardsmen on the fire....

Should I be proud that my line killed this thread?

Wardragoon wrote:Should I be proud that my line killed this thread?

Yes and no.

"Hey you, Ya you Mr. Swarmlord go over there"-Last words of a Vendicare Assassin

'Im not too late am I?'

Gulliman returning to Terra after HH.

Also

Company Commander: An extra ration of Rhazvod to whoever k- Ahh whats the point you'll all be dead by this evening anyway....

Ig numpty and commisar

Sir, those men are getting destroyed by a single choas marine!

Well then, tell all basalisk batteries to fire on their location!

Why sir?

For the greater good....

'Drive me closer.....' Anon tank commander.

Kroot Shaper after slaying a foe: "For the greater good my ass I'm hungry now."

Any tyranid

"We come in piece."

"Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou romeo"-A Very drunk space wolf

Wardragoon wrote:"Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou romeo"-A Very drunk space wolf

Fixed it for you.

"Let me show you my Stealer Spine!"