40k quotes that never existed.

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**Wardragoon**

shrike wrote:
Wardragoon wrote:"Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou romeo"-A Very drunk space wolf

Fixed it for you.

thank you, I was pullin that from memory

**Chaos Lord Gir**

Ork Big Mek: well, 'dis shuld be enuff Dakka ta get the job dun fast!

*Sounds of several thousand voices raised in disbelief and anger*

**cheapbuster**

Necron 1: "so, how are you doing ?"
Necron 2: "not too bad, you?"
Necron 1: "I'm ok, birthday in 4 days"
Necron 2: "Oh realy! well happy birthday, how old ?"
Necron 1: "Lost count 300,000 years ago"
Necron 2: "well I better be off now, its been nice talking to you"
Necron 1: "yeah, you too, cya"
Necron 2: "take care, bye"
Necron 2: "Oh! Happy birthday!"
Necron 1: "thanks bye"
-two necron warriors

**Asherian Command**

"Jean Stealers WHERE?!?"

**DickBandit**

"Open wide! Here comes the airplane *BRBRBRBRBRBBBBR*! Yes, that's my little Emperor! Good boy!"

Astartes Custodes feeding the Emperor his applesauce.

**purplefood**

"Stop! It's Warptime!"-How Warptime actually works.

**Mr Nobody**

Nurgle- "Pull my finger"

**DickBandit**

^
Just thinking about that makes me want to vomit!!

**snake**

Mr Nobody wrote:Nurgle- "Pull my finger"

**Wardragoon**

"Why can't we all just get along"-Khorne

**Viktor von Domm**

Mr Nobody wrote:Nurgle- "Pull my finger"

doomfart??

**Brother-Thunder**

*tumbing sounds* "MY LEG!" "I can't see..." - Blood Angel assault squad deployed in a deep striking land raider.

**Matt.Kingsley**

Sanguinius: Die Horus you traitor and heretic!

Horus:Your as much as a heretic as me, you've got wings!

S:I'm an angel, of couse I have wings!

H:You're a mutant! A thing of Chaos! You're just like me!

S:I'm not! (lunges at horus)

H:you're so annoying (stabs Sanguinius in mid lunge)

Emperor: Die Horu.... No Sanguinius! I told you to stay home at the palace!

S:Sorry dad (dies)

E:you'll pay Horus!

H:I was only doing what's right, he's a mutant!

E:I didn't belive that you were a traitor before, but I do now!

H:Fine, die you old fool!

(Battle erupts and Horus dies)

M.K

**DickBandit**

Horus: Hey Dad, I'm gonna join Chaos and stuff!

Emperor: SON I AM DISAPPOINT!

**CapnThyrus**

"Don't worry, the Great Crusades are being led by my army of impervious battle hardened, genetically modified and fiercely prideful and ego centric Space Marine Legions...what could go wrong?" -The Emprah!

**Wardragoon**

"Sgt. we are being over run by the zerg, maybe the protoss will help us"
"Pvt. what the

are you talking about?"

**DickBandit**

Wardragoon wrote:"Sgt. we are being over run by the zerg, maybe the protoss will help us"
"Pvt. what the are you talking about?"

Hahaha,

Shas'el: The air stabilization system needs repairs
Tau mechanic: We require additional pylons!
Shas'el: ...

**purplefood**

"Magnus wtf are you doing!"
"What?"
"You've caused a cross-over"
"Of daemons?"
"No of Starcraft"
-The Emperor upon recieving word from Magnus.

**Chaos Lord Gir**

This thread has just become pure win.

**DickBandit**

"I just dropped an unholy load of Nurglings in the toilet..." Guardsman suffering from dysentery.

**Kurgash**

"Prep me for the OR. This one is suffering from a severe case of LS!" - A Necron Wraith combating the ever present disease of 'Living Syndrome'

**Battle Brother Lucifer**

CapnThyrus wrote:"Don't worry, the Great Crusades are being led by my army of impervious battle hardened, genetically modified and fiercely prideful and ego centric Space Marine Legions...what could go wrong?" -The Emprah!

The Year 40.000 where nothing can go wraong.

**Mr Nobody**

guradsmen: "techpriest, have you fixed the tank yet?"

techpriest: "404 error, wrench not found"

**Kurgash**

Chaos Marine: Lord Horus, the Palace is nearly ours. The last remnants of the Loyalist forces are being herded into a corner. Everything we have wanted is within our grasp!

Horus: Good. *lowers the shields then watches as the Emperor and his retinue board*

Chaos Marine: MY LORD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

Horus: *strolls away from the bridge* Haters gonna hate.

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

purplefood wrote:"Crime doesn't pay"-Konrad Curze on destorying Nostramo.

YES.

"Dude, this is like, wrong and stuff. You better, y'know, pay a fine or something."-Gray Knights breaking into heretic fortress.

**Chaos Lord Gir**

Imperial Commander Adressing the troops-

'Men! Remember today you fight for the Emperor, the Imperium, and die to give the Marines enough time to come and steal all the glory...'

**Reanimator**

Ravener 1:Tcchh, I don't know, I don't think I should eat that last guardsman, I'm trying to watch my weight.

Ravener 2: Oh go on, you should totally spoil yourself, besides you've obviously been going to the gym!

Ravener 1: Like OMG you noticed! Someone's going to get a treat when we get back to the hive later...

**purplefood**

"Hello I am Alpharius and I am an alcoholic... or am I?"-Alpharius at his AA meetings.

"Hey Tau, we totally surrender, come over here so we can sign the peace treaty and whatever"-Major Harkins, Catachan 4th during the battle for Hades rift.

**Painnen**

Deathleaper: "hey pappa nurgle ol' buddy...there's a big pile of slimey ant covered pizza with worms and already been chewed puke all over it..."
GUO: "ya, so?!"
Deathleaper: "I one it."
GUO: "I two it."
Deathleaper: "I three it."
GUO: "I four it."
Deathleaper: "I five it."
GUO: "I six it."
Deathleaper: "I seven it."
GUO: " I ATE IT!!!! Ahahahahah! I love that game. Do it again!"

Plaguemarine Bob to Plaguemarine Joe: "Uh, the sarge is acting strange again."

**shrike**

Chaos Lord Gir wrote:This thread has just become pure win.

why, thank you.

Chaos Lord Gir wrote:Imperial Commander Adressing the troops-

'Men! Remember today you fight for the Emperor, the Imperium, and die to give the Marines enough time to come and steal all the glory...'

Just like the americans in WW2...

purplefood wrote:"Hello I am Alpharius and I am an alcoholic... or am I?"-Alpharius at his AA meetings.

"Hey Tau, we totally surrender, come over here so we can sign the peace treaty and whatever"-Major Harkins, Catachan 4th during the battle for Hades rift.

thing is, they probably will, and bring flower necklaces.

The emperor adressing the primarch of the little-known of 21st legion:
"Son, it's time I showed you the family business."
"Uuh, dad?"
"Yes, son?"
"Well, I...I...-"
"SPIT IT OUT, SON!"
"I want to... dance!"
"You WILL join your brothers in the family business!"
"No, dad."
*Narrows eyes*
"You're dead to me."
*disowned*

The disowned primarch then joins the eldar and plays with ponies and lava lamps.