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2009/05/16 11:53:19
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Junior Officer with Laspistol
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GreyFox555 wrote:Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.
Roll a D100
1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the SoB.
I got 58 so I am a grenadier.
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"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."-Groucho Marx
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2009/05/16 15:02:17
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Killer Klaivex
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I demand to know why Commissar Calgar is not on that list.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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2009/05/16 17:14:36
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Dakka Veteran
Las Vegas, NV, USA
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Someone on the Marvel staff has a Realm of Battle Gameboard. 
EDIT:
Picture of Panic's Gameboard for reference from the Dakka Dakka Gallery
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/05/17 06:24:13
"This thread is made of so much unrefined awesome spice, the Harkonnens are coming." -Frazzled
"After all, the Space Marines need something to fight against, and it can't always be Chaos!" -Phil Kelly |
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2009/05/16 17:31:34
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Waaagh! Warbiker
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I dont get it ;(
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2009/05/16 18:08:24
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Hellacious Havoc
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On the battle board, there are areas were the ground has been taken away to reveail a SOLID flat patch of skulls.
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2009/05/17 04:14:19
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Adolescent Youth with Potential
Melbourne, Australia
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GreyFox555 wrote:Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.
Roll a D100
1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the SoB.
Roll(1d100)+0:
93,+0
Total:93
Tanky commander
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Genesis chapter 1600 Points 
Orks 500 points 
LET IT BURN!!!!
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2009/05/18 18:05:38
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Lord Commander in a Plush Chair
In your base, ignoring your logic.
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Meh a 71. I hope I don't see any fething ewoks.
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2009/05/18 19:27:18
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Wing Commander
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halonachos wrote:Meh a 71. I hope I don't see any fething ewoks.
Hahahahahah!
Sorry, needed doing
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"In the Grim Darkness of the far future; there is only countless Requisition Forms, filled in Triplicate."
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2009/05/18 19:45:09
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Fireknife Shas'el
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halonachos wrote:Meh a 71. I hope I don't see any fething ewoks.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/05/18 20:56:32
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2009/05/19 00:41:09
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Purposeful Hammerhead Pilot
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*Sound of a 100 armored sentinals tripped over*
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2009/05/19 01:48:33
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Sister Vastly Superior
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Superscope wrote:*Sound of a 100 armored sentinals tripped over*
My bad.
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"...I hit him so hard he saw the curvature of the Earth."
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2009/05/19 09:50:52
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Terrifying Treeman
The Fallen Realm of Umbar
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DT:90-S++G++M++B+IPw40k07+D+A+++/cWD-R+T(T)DM+
Horst wrote:This is how trolling happens. A few cheeky posts are made. Then they get more insulting. Eventually, we revert to our primal animal state, hurling feces at each other while shreeking with glee.
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2009/05/19 10:46:29
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Cold-Blooded Saurus Warrior
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Krellnus wrote:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhhahahahahhahahaha!
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2009/05/19 18:40:47
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Wing Commander
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goffnob deffsmakka wrote:Krellnus wrote:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhhahahahahhahahaha!
Dude, what the hell is your sig? That's fething awesome!
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"In the Grim Darkness of the far future; there is only countless Requisition Forms, filled in Triplicate."
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2009/05/19 19:18:40
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Tinkering Tech-Priest
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that looks like a scene from the new transformers movie
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2009/05/20 02:14:54
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Trigger-Happy Baal Predator Pilot
Toronto (GTA), Ontario
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lanman wrote:that looks like a scene from the new transformers movie
Lol if you watch his sig to the end it says the word transformers 
-Orkishly
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Dracos wrote:Codex does not override rulebook. Specific rules (generally those found in codex tend to be more specific) override general rules in case of conflict.
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2009/05/20 09:05:27
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Killer Klaivex
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And it's damn annoying.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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2009/05/20 13:15:28
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Foolproof Falcon Pilot
Somewhere in the unknown universe.
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Deff Dread red Edition wrote:GreyFox555 wrote:Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.
Roll a D100
1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the SoB.
I got 58 so I am a grenadier.
I'm an acolyte.
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Manchu wrote:Agamemnon2 wrote:
Congratulations, that was the stupidest remark the entire wargaming community has managed to produce in a long, long time.
Congratulations, your dismissive and conclusory commentary has provided nothing to this discussion or the wider community on whose behalf you arrogantly presume to speak nor does it engage in any meaningful way the remark it lamely targets. But you did manage to gain experience points toward your next level of internet tough guy.
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2009/05/20 19:03:23
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Martial Arts SAS
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I got 96, will be a Commissar. Not bad as I'm a Gaunt fan
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2009/05/20 19:54:24
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Wing Commander
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Guardsmen! Your time has come!!
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"In the Grim Darkness of the far future; there is only countless Requisition Forms, filled in Triplicate."
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2009/05/20 21:20:08
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Hellacious Havoc
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THAT is a fething, gakking, TON of guardsmen
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2009/05/20 21:33:44
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Stalwart Dark Angels Space Marine
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Disjointed Entity wrote:Guardsmen! Your time has come!!
Didn't the red ring around a unit mean it was shaken or about to run or something?
I guess you gotta change the batteries sometime.
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2009/05/20 21:46:01
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Wing Commander
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Food Store Hero wrote:
Didn't the red ring around a unit mean it was shaken or about to run or something?
I guess you gotta change the batteries sometime.
Yep you're right there. And I'm pretty sure I would have run long before that point!
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"In the Grim Darkness of the far future; there is only countless Requisition Forms, filled in Triplicate."
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2009/05/21 00:37:53
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Stubborn Dark Angels Veteran Sergeant
Ontario
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It means squad broken making them easier to kill and less effective at shooting. In the game that many guardsmen would wreck two space marines and the dreads behind them.
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DCDA:90-S++G+++MB++I+Pw40k98-D+++A+++/areWD007R++T(S)DM+ |
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2009/05/22 02:24:32
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Hardened Veteran Guardsman
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Disjointed Entity wrote:Guardsmen! Your time has come!!
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 1500 (Work In Progress) |
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2009/05/22 23:47:55
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Battleship Captain
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GreyFox555 wrote:Your have been tithed to the Imperial Guard.
Roll a D100
1 You are killed as a Heretic.
2-3 You are found to be a Psyker and sent to a Black Ship.
4-5 You given a bucket and a shovel and told to clean up after the Ogryn.
6-10 You are to be trained as an Officer.
11-15 You are handed a Lasgun, a Helmet, and a direction (forward) and become a conscript.
16-20 You are trained to operate a Vox Castor.
21-25 You are train as Sniper and given a Camo-Cloak.
26-30 You are trained with Special Weapons. Post Ending 0-2 (Flamer) 3-5 (Grenade Launcher) 6-7 (Meltagun) 8-9 (Plasma Gun)
31-35 You are trained with Heavy Weapons. Post End 0-1 (Heavy Flamer) 2-3 (Mortar) 4-5 (Heavy Bolter) 6-7 (Auto-Cannon) 8 (Missile Launcher) 9 (Lascannon)
36-55 You are trained with a Lasgun and Frag Grenades, and given Flak Armor.
56-60 You are given Carapace Armor, a Shotgun, Grenades, and Melta-Bombs and then trained to be an elite grenadier.
61-65 Valkyrie Pilot
66-70 Chimera Diver
71-75 Scout Sentinel Driver
76-80 Armored Sentinel Driver
81-85 Leman Russ Tank Driver
86-90 Leman Russ Tank Gunner
91-95 Leman Russ Tank Commander
96-97 You have been selected to go to Terrax and train to be a Commissar.
98-99 An Inquisitor take you as his Acolyte.
100 An Inquisitor has decided to send you to a Shrine World to become a "comfort" to the SoB.
SWEEET!!! I got a hundred!
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2009/05/23 16:18:50
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Killer Klaivex
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Just found this gem whilst browsing 4chan...
I had to cut myself after seeing that.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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2009/05/23 20:23:51
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Rampaging Furioso Blood Angel Dreadnought
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Too bad it wasnt the side of your neck.
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2009/05/23 20:35:38
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Stalwart Dark Angels Space Marine
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And here's a quick side note while bringing up the Emperor. Isn't he technically.... Turkish? Discuss.
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2009/05/23 21:11:21
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Nah, he's from Jersey, wassamattawityou?
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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