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Necroshea wrote:

Battle Brother Ambrosius wrote:I actually don't care if a friend of mine leaves me because of a girl. It's his loss, not mine.

If you truly feel no loss when a friend leaves you, your friend was deceived into thinking he had a friend in the first place.

I feel no loss if my friend leaves me for a stupid thing like that. I would understand if I had stolen his wife or something, but a girl who is interested in me in the first place? Nah.

rubiksnoob wrote:Show her your toy soldiers.

This is the best advice in this thread. Hit her with your full frontal nerdity and get it out of the way.

If she likes it, she's a keeper.

If not, then it's probably not the toys. You're probably a bad person and should feel bad.

But what if she's indifferent-- not disliking it, but she's just not into it?

My answer would be "you would need to show you have more depth than merely being a player of games".

I can't tell you what to do but what I would do in this situation and Ive had this conversation with a couple girls. I don't mind being there friend but my friendship comes first. I have a hands off approach on any previous girlfriend or any girl my friends are interested in regardless of how long it takes them to ask. I consider it the honorable thing to do. If this was a case of him just getting mad at you if you didn't know he liked the girl it would be different but you said you encouraged ur friend first.

The other thing you have to think about is the girl may be watching you as well. If you drop your friend for your own desires then that may reflect poorly on your character. It's my experience that people treate their family and loved ones the same way they treate there friends.

If I was in your position I would say be the better friend and continue to help your friend be more social. If you side swipe him he may become more anti social as a result. In the end it's up to u

Tell your friend that if he doesn't ask her out by the end of the week then you will ask her out.

He's apparently not waiting for anything, he's just being shy. Light a fire under his ass (figuratively) and he'll either man up or not.

If not, you gave him a fair shot, so there's no need to feel guilty about it.

kronk wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Show her your toy soldiers.

This is the best advice in this thread. Hit her with your full frontal nerdity and get it out of the way.

If she likes it, she's a keeper.

If not, then it's probably not the toys. You're probably a bad person and should feel bad.

QFT

bombboy1252 wrote:

kronk wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Show her your toy soldiers.

This is the best advice in this thread. Hit her with your full frontal nerdity and get it out of the way.

If she likes it, she's a keeper.

If not, then it's probably not the toys. You're probably a bad person and should feel bad.

QFT

+1

Best case scenario if OP goes with girl he's a terrible opportunist, at worse he's a backstabber.

kronk wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Show her your toy soldiers.

This is the best advice in this thread. Hit her with your full frontal nerdity and get it out of the way.

If she likes it, she's a keeper.

If not, then it's probably not the toys. You're probably a bad person and should feel bad.

To be 100% clear. Your buddy has had his chance. the girl seems to have made her choice. Go for it.

That isn't what would make you a bad person. I was talking about all of the other stuff you did that makes you a bad person. YOU know what you did.

Of course, you could take the approach we used on a mate of mine.
Take him to Amsterdam, Get him drunk and laid.
best hundred euros we ever spent.

kronk wrote:

kronk wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Show her your toy soldiers.

This is the best advice in this thread. Hit her with your full frontal nerdity and get it out of the way.

If she likes it, she's a keeper.

If not, then it's probably not the toys. You're probably a bad person and should feel bad.

To be 100% clear. Your buddy has had his chance. the girl seems to have made her choice. Go for it.

That isn't what would make you a bad person. I was talking about all of the other stuff you did that makes you a bad person. YOU know what you did.

I'm with Kronk here. I was in the exact same situation with my best buddy in high school. He liked this girl but was too chicken to say anything. She and I got to know one another and began to hit it off, but I continued to stay aloof and let him have his chance. Two months later, I gave him the ultimatum and a week after that, he was still gathering courage so I asked her out. She and I dated, he got pissed (expectedly) and didn't talk to me anymore. She wanted to know why so I told her and a week after that we were broken up and she was dating him. Sucks huh?

Not so fast...

She dumped him about a month later, she and I stayed good friends. After more than a few years, boyfriends for her, and girlfriends for me later, we decide to give it another go, being more mature and understanding of each other's faults. A few years after that, we're married. Seven years later and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with. The guy who was my friend at the time married a girl he had a "one-night stand" with and remains trapped in a miserable marriage, just like Ferris says is going to happen to Cameron.

Gavin Thorne wrote:

kronk wrote:

kronk wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Show her your toy soldiers.

This is the best advice in this thread. Hit her with your full frontal nerdity and get it out of the way.

If she likes it, she's a keeper.

If not, then it's probably not the toys. You're probably a bad person and should feel bad.

To be 100% clear. Your buddy has had his chance. the girl seems to have made her choice. Go for it.

That isn't what would make you a bad person. I was talking about all of the other stuff you did that makes you a bad person. YOU know what you did.

I'm with Kronk here. I was in the exact same situation with my best buddy in high school. He liked this girl but was too chicken to say anything. She and I got to know one another and began to hit it off, but I continued to stay aloof and let him have his chance. Two months later, I gave him the ultimatum and a week after that, he was still gathering courage so I asked her out. She and I dated, he got pissed (expectedly) and didn't talk to me anymore. She wanted to know why so I told her and a week after that we were broken up and she was dating him. Sucks huh?

Not so fast...

She dumped him about a month later, she and I stayed good friends. After more than a few years, boyfriends for her, and girlfriends for me later, we decide to give it another go, being more mature and understanding of each other's faults. A few years after that, we're married. Seven years later and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with. The guy who was my friend at the time married a girl he had a "one-night stand" with and remains trapped in a miserable marriage, just like Ferris says is going to happen to Cameron.

for a second i thought you were talking about me hahaha.

Melissia wrote:But what if she's indifferent-- not disliking it, but she's just not into it?

My answer would be "you would need to show you have more depth than merely being a player of games".

Welcome to the dating game!

Contestant #1: Plays Warhammer 40k.

Contestant #2: Plays Warhammer 40k while in a hole.

Contestant #2 wins because he has more depth.

Everybody is to focused on the girl and ignoring the main problem with the friend. Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference between a person being an introvert, a young guy not knowing how to relate to women/deal with women, and a guy lacking in self confidence.

Not knowing how to talk to women, deal with women, or relate to women is an easy fix. The guy just needs a female friend(s), and once a guy goes into the "friend zone" with a woman the problem should be resolved (unless the guy is a thick headed troglodyte)

Being an introvert is not a problem, and it can't be fixed. Introverts can successfully date, marry, relate to women, and have plenty of self confidence. Being an introvert is only a problem for a young man if he doesn't know how to talk to women and lacks self confidence. Then the real problem becomes the lack of self confidence.

A lack of self confidence is difficult to fix, and it's a total deal killer with most women. Confidence is so important to women that the most common dating mistake women make is they notice a real jerk's confidence before they notice the guy is a total dick. A real lack of confidence is about as attractive as halitosis, funky body odor, or a giant herpes blister on a guy's lip. Given the choice between dating a guy with no confidence that is figuratively spineless or dating a nice guy that is self confident but in a wheelchair because he has a literal spinal cord injury the guy in the wheel chair will probably get a date before the guy with no confidence.

Bottom line=Your friend needs to work on his self confidence. I would suggest a few things.

Stick him in the friend zone with some girls or older women. It's not hard to teach a young guy to be comfortable talking to the opposite sex, and once they start talking to women most young men are quick to pick up on the fact that it's just as easy to talk to women as it is to men.

Don't hit it with that girl right now. It's not going to help your friend's self confidence if a friend he trusts screws him over by snatching up a girl he's interested in. The OP sounds like he has no trouble dating, so just spend a little bit of time/effort to get a different girlfriend. By the time that relationship ends you could probably go back and try to date the girl in question, but now is not a good time because it would have a negative effect on your friend's confidence.

Building up your friend's self confidence is going to be a long and difficult task that can only be done if he is motivated to change. It should also be treated with the same honesty you would give to bad breath. Saying "Dude your breath stinks" or "She's never going to date you because you lack self confidence" are brutal things to say to a friend, but if nobody says anything the person will never change. The first step to helping a friend fix a problem is enlightening him to the fact he has a problem.

Nah, Schadenfreude, it has been discussed and the best course of action is to go after the girl who has expressed feelings for the OP. His friend probably won't like him for it, but he'll eventually get over it... hopefully.

halonachos wrote:the best course of action is to go after the girl who has expressed feelings for the OP.

No, it's not. There is no best course. All solutions have a pro, as well as a con. All can go well, all can end terribly.

The best solution is one that makes everyone happy.

Necroshea wrote:

halonachos wrote:the best course of action is to go after the girl who has expressed feelings for the OP.

No, it's not. There is no best course. All solutions have a pro, as well as a con. All can go well, all can end terribly.

The best solution is one that makes everyone happy.

lol

Making everyone happy is a myth...like the Loch ness monster and bigfoot...but that's hardly something I would want to get into on a relationship thread on a wargaming site

marv335 wrote:Of course, you could take the approach we used on a mate of mine.
Take him to Amsterdam, Get him drunk and laid.
best hundred euros we ever spent.

LOL?

bombboy1252 wrote:

Necroshea wrote:

halonachos wrote:the best course of action is to go after the girl who has expressed feelings for the OP.

No, it's not. There is no best course. All solutions have a pro, as well as a con. All can go well, all can end terribly.

The best solution is one that makes everyone happy.

lol

Making everyone happy is a myth...like the Loch ness monster and bigfoot...but that's hardly something I would want to get into on a relationship thread on a wargaming site

Its a double edged sword dude. no one can have a happy ending if there is always pros and cons. someone somewhere is going to have their feelings hurt. Its a fact of life.

Alot of people know my mess, i was the one that went home with a sword through the heart. Of course it was my own sword so its kinda of ironic.

:\

Anyway teach the guy a lesson and tell him he has to move quicker next time.

Necroshea wrote:No, it's not. There is no best course.

Bullgak there ain't.

There's a best course. Just cause every action has a pro and a con doesn't mean that all actions are equal. Me punching my professors in the face until they give me a good grade is cetainly a worse action than me actually studying and worknig hard to get that good grade. Of those two, and many others such as cheating or copying or faking it, the studying decision is still the best.

There's a best course for relationships too. It's just that we don't always know what it is-- not even afterwards.

I say the two of you should fight it out in the ring of honor.

The only weapons allowed are those red whippy measureing sticks that come in the AoBR box. Grab one apiece and go at it.

The winner gets the girl, unless she doesn't like the winner...

Knowing the best course of action?

Where's the fun in that!?

Nerivant wrote:Knowing the best course of action?

Where's the fun in that!?

What would you rather do?

Let say we are in firefight and we have you pinned down at some cover. Would you rather....

A) Stay where you are waiting for a bit then running out into more cover to get to a better vantage point.
B) You see a big gun turret. Your squad tells you not to go because it is too dangerous
C) You say screw it and run out guns and blazing towards the enemy.

Now lets put this into girl terms

A) Lose A Friend, Gain a Girlfriend
B) Keep Both Friend and Have him date your friend who is a girl. But you know that the relationship won't last.
C) Lose both your friends
D) Gain a Girlfriend and amend the relationship after you have told them both about the situation and that he should at least try. Of course you telling her be for hand. Her already knowing will say no and then she tells him she is not his type of girl he wants.

They all look good to me.

Nerivant wrote:They all look good to me.

Clearly you've never gone paint balling. A) is the choice because of it.
The 2nd question D) is the answer.

Asherian Command wrote:

Nerivant wrote:They all look good to me.

Clearly you've never gone paint balling. A) is the choice because of it.
The 2nd question D) is the answer.

Asking my opinion and then telling me the "right answer" is a bit counter-intuitive, isn't it?

Nerivant wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:

Nerivant wrote:They all look good to me.

Clearly you've never gone paint balling. A) is the choice because of it.
The 2nd question D) is the answer.

Asking my opinion and then telling me the "right answer" is a bit counter-intuitive, isn't it?

well what would of you of choosen then hmmm?

E) Any of the above.

I'd go through with asking her regardless, because outcome be damned, at least things would be new and different.

Nerivant wrote:E) Any of the above.

I'd go through with asking her regardless, because outcome be damned, at things would be new and different.

Really I wouldn't ask her only because I am an Introvert and there are tons of fish in the sea.

Trust me when I say this; Nothing you do during High School will matter down the road.

For instance, I was reviled in High School, but the moment I got out into the work force, people loved me. I had to hug the walls in high school, but I was voted Employee of the Month unanomously by everyone there. People avoided me like the plague at High School, and yet I can't seem to get away from anyone at work.


Girls hated me at school, all of them I asked out outright rejected me, or acted like total bitches during/after. I asked this girl out once, and she started this entire campain to call me "Creepy" and "A Total douche", and the kicker was she saw me every day.

In church.....

And she even got her parents to "crusade" against me....

Now, I'm being told I'm a handsome, awesome, "nice peice of ass", all that jazz.

Now, remember; Nothing you do in high school will matter down the road.

If you have to ask in a toy soldier forum, the answer is no.