king of the hill

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**shas'o vera**

Suddenly, and without any sort of expectation from the virgin and innocent earth, a vast warp gate opens up above Nikev and the deathstrike missile, the rip in the fabric of space and time allowed for hundreds of thousands of my glorious minions to go forth and thrust in my name. All the while I stand upon my great and powerful thrusting war machine in an attempt to look more awesome and destructively perverted than I already am.
The trooper standing next to me passes me a vox-mic and without any hesitation or clear reason begin to speak in the corrupted tones of a man that has been wildly corrupted by the beastly powers of chaos in all its magnificant glory.
"Men and women of Nucia, you think yourselves above me? Above the greatness and the power of the thusting god of all? yet it is you who stand below another man, a lesser man than any I have witnessed before me... Join me and you shall not be spared... That is all"

**Tyranic Marta**

Suddenly the deamons are obliterated under a hail of bolter and lascannon fire

"For the true gods of Chaos!!!!!!!!!!!"

My army quickly rings them (and being slaanesh) are completely unnafected by their pelvic thrustiness, and so apsolutely anihillate them

**Tyranic Marta**

"Im baaaaaaack, hi nikev)

**Commissar NIkev**

shas'o vera wrote:Join me and you shall not be spared... That is all"

I laughed so hard when I read that.

The Nucians cursed the pelvic heathens with fire from their weapons. Blasting those who thrust, into oblivion.

Tyranic......? I dont' understand?
is that supposed to be a comic of that killer who I cna't ermember? if so I just ruined it.

**Tyranic Marta**

nah sall good man, but ill hold the hill as an ally hm?

**shas'o vera**

Upon seeing the strength and ferocity that his units were decimated from, he simply got a hold of the very same vox trooper and started choking him in anger and frustration while yelling incoherently through the still open vox channels.
"Die you miserable worm!! *static* Useless *buzzz* WHen I get a hold of Nikev I'm going to *more static for roughly 15 seconds* In the face"
After his immediate spout of rage, the trooper that was once in charge of the vox was from then on dead, and so he decided to promote one of the many loyal 'subordinates' to take charge of his personal caster. Although in this case the new vox trooper started playing elevator music on all channels in an attempt to drive everyone else on Shas' secret base and the Nucian's truly insane, the other's weren't affected of course. And this was because of the fact that inside each chaos solder's helmet is the same string of elevator music on a never ending loop. And they say elevator music is for the weak?
Then the bombing raid began, involving many suicides and many cracked pelvis's....

**Tyranic Marta**

The bomers never got there, when the chaos marines sw them coming down in a run the sorceror in the army simply forced their engines to fail, the planes lose control and fly over head without releasing any bombs, they promptly crash into the ground some distance away and their ordanance explodes, needless to say the pilots do not survive however the hill is untouched because the sorceror deflects the incoming shockwave so that the hill takes not a touch of damage

**Commissar NIkev**

AHA!! Nice teamwork Tyrannic...I can put aside the fact that your a heretic and work with you....for a while.

The nucian's all recover from the music by putting in earplugs...your plan has been thwarted Shas

Deathstrike on Shas:
T-minus 2

**Tyranic Marta**

no probs mate

and yes maybe im a heritic but htere is a greater evil, that of pelvic thrustiness

**halonachos**

My men manage to regain control of the deathstrike missiles just before Nikev could fire them.

"Reroute the missiles and blow the hill to hell, I am tired of this fighting." Halonachos yells to his men while watching the Nucians fraternize with the likes of Slaaneshi cultists in disgust.

Halonachos pulled his peaked cap over his eyes as the missiles brighten the sky with their respective launches. The elevator music went quite as the hill and all of its pelvic thrusters evaporated from the realm of existance.

"No cover saves, D3+3 radius, strength 10 no matter what, and an armor penetration of 2; a marvelous weapon indeed." Halonachos told himself as he returned to the war table from his watch post. "Gentlemen, affix your rebreathers and make sure you expose as little skin as possible." Halonachos said as he did the same,"The fallout should be strong enough to decimate the Slaaneshi forces."

"What about the Nucians?" one of Halonachos commanders asked.

"They tried to take command of my missiles, they denied my alliance, and they allied themselves with the forces of chaos. If they wish to rot, then they shall rot like the nurglings." Halonachos made the sign of aquila "For the god-emperor and for Fluvia."

**Tyranic Marta**

as the missle fires the chaos sorceror grins and simply halts its progress, the missle falls to earth on top of the launcher

BIG BADDA BOOM

**halonachos**

Alas, the machine spirit is strong enough to overpower the unholy influence of chaos and the missiles impact the hill.

**Tyranic Marta**

what i am simply doing is removing its forward thrust, this means that it is stationary and gravity pulls it to earth, aint got nothin to do with its workins so the machine spirit cant do gak

**Tyranic Marta**

big badda boom

**halonachos**

Actually, the machine spirit can influence the thrust applied by the rocket, influence the explosive range of the rocket, etc.

Also, most sorcerors can't really change the properties of physics so yeah, ummm, my rockets hit the hill.

After a decade's long debate between GW staff, the rockets are allowed to hit the hill on a roll of 1+ due to the 1337 nature of the missiles.

**Commissar NIkev**

*Glares at Halonachos*

and um...yea Tyranic....the missiles were by us anyway, they had to be to be protected....

*continues to glare at halonachos*

**shas'o vera**

Too bad for the rest of you guys, for underneath my secret base was a stockpile of super happy fun bals, and I in all my wisdom and unparalleled skills of confusion and escapism ran away back into the depths of the warp.

Then suddenly... Super happy fun ball likes lightning!!!

And the skies filled with dark clouds, thunder and lightning sparked between them, going back and forth in the upper atmosphere for some time before deciding to spark the rest of the super happy fun balls, causing them to become angry and explode in all their fury.

**Vulkan_He'stan**

I just shuffle over and just stand by you for awhile
then just sit there
and explode destroying every one on the hill

**Tyranic Marta**

hmmmm

thats a pity, oh well nikev and i pop up from our bunker *BENEATH* the hill to claim it after vulkan blows up, still our hill

**The Bringer**

I was in the bunker too, lets not forget it was my bunker.

I don't mind though, carry on, as long as we can share the kingship of the hill.

**Tyranic Marta**

ive got no probs with that, nikev?

**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

Can I haz part of the hill pls? I will give you cheesburger.

If you deny I will destroy you with the full power of my lolcats army.

**The Bringer**

Shas'ui T'au Kais wrote:Can I haz part of the hill pls? I will give you cheesburger.

If you deny I will destroy you with the full power of my lolcats army.

Deal, I'll give your lolcats their own McDonalds... as I happened to have one in my bunker.

**Tyranic Marta**

So the four of us are thrumming our noses at halonchas LOL

**The Bringer**

I set up some more hidden artillery batteries while I'm at it. 4 more to be exact for a grand total of 10.

I also have dirt added to our very blown apart hill.

**shas'o vera**

And yet... Nothing stops me from sending one last thrust into the hill and watching a it blows apart from the inside.

**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

After the lolcats have started thier McDonalds business, I will order Ninja cat to keep an eye out for enemies, and for him to kill them when they come.

**The Bringer**

We then need piano cat to party.

**halonachos**

Deathstrike Missile

Range: 12"-960"
Strength: 10
AP: 1
Type: Ordnance Barrage, One Shot Only, D3+3" Blast*

*The deathstrike missile cannot be fired directly. The weapon has a variable blast radius... All models within range of the impact point are hit. Note that as the blast does not have a "center of blast" and its full Strength of 10 is used for armor penetration. Cover saves may not be taken against hits by a deathstrike missile.

Your bunker is gone.

Halonachos gets the sneaking feeling that someone is staring at him from somewhere and shakes it off as new deathstrike missile launchers roll up to take the place of the expended missiles.

Halonachos watches as his armored units move into a protective formation and watches his infantry move into a spearhead formation.

**The Bringer**

Little does halonachos know, I installed an image displacer field on the hill, he shot the wrong are...

He jumps down onto what he realizes is a projection of a hill. The projection suddenly changes into a huge sign that says:

Bye bye

Then he hears a rumbling and the sound of 10 artillary batteries firing at him and his little army. Where there once was halo, there is now is now a red crater, and where is army was, there is now red mist and metal chuck flying through the air.

I install a shield generator on my bunker to confer a 2+ invulnerable to us.

*piano cat starts partying*