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Granted, but its a massive flop

I wish I could read the more boring Horus Heresy books by osmosis.

Granted, as you are reading the book bursts into flames catching your hair on fire.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted, but none of the wishes work. Enjoy your useless wishes!

I wish I had enough money to buy the 40k stuff I want...

Granted. You have enough money to buy it all. But after deducting rent, food, and utilities you are a bit short.

I wish for more cold beer.

Granted, but heats up really quickly (I suck at this).

I wish my Chaos Spess Mahreens would assemble and paint themsleves, have all the marks I want on them, are indestructible, and I'm indestructible and can feel no pain.

Granted. Then a warp portal opens up and sucks you and your minis into the Warp, and you're stuck there for all eternity.
I wish work wasn't so stressful.

Granted, you are fired, no job=no workplace stress

I wish more people played warhammer in my area.

Granted but they all play really really cheesy lists, are WAAC TFG types with grey models.

I wish I could see my girlfriend tomorrow.

Granted, she breaks up with you.
I wish I could think of less sadistic answers

Granted because I kill you for that corruption.

I wish she would never break up with me.

Granted, she goes insane, when you break up with her she kills all your friends, she then escapes from prison leaving dead birds on your doorstep for years until she is caught with a shrine to you, surrounded by the skulls of your various ex's.

I wish for more cigarettes

Granted. Lung Cancer

I wish for cake.

Wardragoon wrote:Granted, she goes insane, when you break up with her
Wouldn't dump her, its taken too long to get a girlfriend.
she kills all your friends, she then escapes from prison
Would be in a mental institution
leaving dead birds on your doorstep for years
Only birds we get here are pidgeons and seagulls so no bother
until she is caught with a shrine to you,
Bad thing how?
surrounded by the skulls of your various exes
What exes?

Just to annoy you

Deadshot wrote:

Wardragoon wrote:Granted, she goes insane, when you break up with her
Wouldn't dump her, its taken too long to get a girlfriend.
she kills all your friends, she then escapes from prison
Would be in a mental institution
leaving dead birds on your doorstep for years
Only birds we get here are pidgeons and seagulls so no bother
until she is caught with a shrine to you,
Bad thing how?
surrounded by the skulls of your various exes
What exes?

Just to annoy you

CREEEEEEED!!!!!!

anyhow,
Granted, your cake is a mudcake made by a middleaged homeless guy.

I wish I could justify going to sleep right now (4pm right now)

Granted you justify it by getting drugged with.sleep.inducing pills. But overdose so.you must sleep in the toilet for no apparent reason.

I wish I don't get bad luck for not wishing.

Granted, instead you become my new neighbour

I wish to move from where I live

Granted, you move to the antarctic.

I wish my models would paint themselves.

Mynameisalie wrote:

liquidjoshi wrote:Sure. Dr Bad-ass sue to the copious amounts of curry you consume every night.

I wish the Lynx codex turned out well for the guy doing it.

Wtf man. Why?
Anyway, your minecraft crashes repeatedly instead.
I wish watermelons didn't have as many seeds in them and were sweeter.

What's wrong with hoping something would go well for someone else? I made that post before it hit the "Kill it now" phase. Still think you should re-work it, but that is for another thread. Sorry for the Postcromancy BTW.

At Wardragoon; Granted. With petrol. Near naked flames. Burny naked flames, near your codexes.

I wish I could sleep.

Granted, you never wake and have eternal nightmares

I wish I was sexier (than I already am)

liquidjoshi wrote:

Mynameisalie wrote:

liquidjoshi wrote:Sure. Dr Bad-ass sue to the copious amounts of curry you consume every night.

I wish the Lynx codex turned out well for the guy doing it.

Wtf man. Why?
Anyway, your minecraft crashes repeatedly instead.
I wish watermelons didn't have as many seeds in them and were sweeter.

What's wrong with hoping something would go well for someone else? I made that post before it hit the "Kill it now" phase. Still think you should re-work it, but that is for another thread. Sorry for the Postcromancy BTW.

At Wardragoon; Granted. With petrol. Near naked flames. Burny naked flames, near your codexes.

I wish I could sleep.

I thought you was being sarcastic. Anyways...
Granted. You are buried under a pile of girls, you suffocate and die.
I wish I ruled the world.

DreadlordME! wrote:I wish I was sexier (than I already am)

Granted. House cats find you sexier. Happy?

I wish there were more orkmoticons.

Granted and you use them all and get a permaban because the Mod team were all having a bad day.

No wish. You're Kim Jong Un's new wife.

I wish I had a speedboat but never used it.

Granted. You decide to use it and it gets hit by a torpedo from a German U-boat.

I wish that I didn't have to get up every five seconds to let these douchebag homeowners in through the gate (do you really need to leave and come back in through the guest gate 5 times per hour? Honestly, remember your fething remote for the owners gate. Douches.)

Granted. You have to get up every three seconds to let those douchebag homeowners in through the gate.

I wish had a better computer.

Granted but it gets a megavirus that destroys it completely.

I wish my girl would text or call so I can organise going into town this week.

She does, telling you she's seeing someone else.

I wish I didn't have timeline.
So many months avoiding it... wasted...

Granted, you have bone cancer instead.

I wish I was female.

Granted, you are the bearded lady

I wish my migraine would go away...

Granted, so does your head.

I wish I was an attractive female without facial hair or any severe ailments, disabilities, or other bad things.