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Made in us
Opportunist




Supplicating in front of the SPAM god. (sound dirty doesn't it?)

Someone please post it...

highbattalion.com/commandments.htm
check it out

"At least when you are up against the servants of Khorne you can always count on them to run straight at you." - Commissar Caiphas Cain

Glorius is the mighty SPAM god and the lesser god Pork. May they forever shine bacon and BBQ down upon us! -Emperors Faithful

SPAM FOR THE SPAM GOD!!!!! JAM FOR THE JAM THRONE!!!!!!! -codemonkey 
   
Made in gb
Lieutenant Colonel





Somewhere in warp space

When you wonder what would happen if an inquisitor met superman...

Black Consuls 1750pts
High Elves 1500pts
Imperial Guard 1000pts
Inquisitorial Allies WIP
Vampire Counts WIP

Creator of the First Piston and Sticky Piston on Dakka Minecraft!

Darkstorm Gaming - A Forum Dedicated To Roleplaying. JOIN TODAY! 
   
Made in us
Sneaky Striking Scorpion



Minneapolis

When you start feeling physically ill after going more than a week without a warhammer game.
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran




Arkahm

GundamMerc wrote:Someone please post it...

There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter.

So he went up to the palace and the guard naturally enquired "Who goes there?", to which he replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?" asked the guard, with a not unconsiderable amount of awe in his voice.

"Yes, I'm *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter," replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage."

The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your first task is to slay the dragon on Xylon III."

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast.

On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass"

So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes,*the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later.

On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike.

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace".

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike, can I marry your daughter now?"

"Sure."




Largely Evil Laugh

AND SO IT BEGINS!

ducks

Orkeosaurus wrote:But can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

xxmatt85 wrote:Brains for the brain god!


 
   
Made in us
Huge Bone Giant





Oakland, CA -- U.S.A.

Feth.

Which reminds me of another one.

When you see someone get that story posted and think "Feth that donkey-cave" and do not need Dakka filters to edit you.





"It is not the bullet with your name on it that should worry you, it's the one labeled "To whom it may concern. . ."

DQ:70S++G+++MB+I+Pwhfb06+D++A+++/aWD-R++++T(D)DM+ 
   
Made in us
Sneaky Striking Scorpion



Minneapolis

You subscribe to the new humor thread so you can see how long it takes for the above story to be posted.
   
Made in gb
Lieutenant Colonel





Somewhere in warp space

You can write an army list without going anywhere near a codex.

Black Consuls 1750pts
High Elves 1500pts
Imperial Guard 1000pts
Inquisitorial Allies WIP
Vampire Counts WIP

Creator of the First Piston and Sticky Piston on Dakka Minecraft!

Darkstorm Gaming - A Forum Dedicated To Roleplaying. JOIN TODAY! 
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran




Arkahm

RaptorsTallon wrote:You can write an army list without going anywhere near a codex.

You do so on a regular basis, and just before a tourny. And get frustrated when said army is a mere 5 points over. *Damn Vox Casters*

Orkeosaurus wrote:But can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

xxmatt85 wrote:Brains for the brain god!


 
   
Made in us
Sneaky Striking Scorpion



Minneapolis

Cambak wrote:
RaptorsTallon wrote:You can write an army list without going anywhere near a codex.

You do so on a regular basis, and just before a tourny. And get frustrated when said army is a mere 5 points over. *Damn Vox Casters*


You do so on a more than regular basis, even when you try to take a break from it. You also know all the points costs from your codex(es) that you don't or have never used (obviously in addition to those that you do use).

Also, you've read the rule book more than twice, including the fluff bits.
   
Made in gb
Lieutenant Colonel





Somewhere in warp space

You know the points cost for all units in more than 1 codex/army book

Black Consuls 1750pts
High Elves 1500pts
Imperial Guard 1000pts
Inquisitorial Allies WIP
Vampire Counts WIP

Creator of the First Piston and Sticky Piston on Dakka Minecraft!

Darkstorm Gaming - A Forum Dedicated To Roleplaying. JOIN TODAY! 
   
Made in us
Battleship Captain






You've friended people on facebook that you know from dakka.

I've got five so far.
   
Made in us
Opportunist




Supplicating in front of the SPAM god. (sound dirty doesn't it?)

When you hear that one story about a Space Wolf and a cave...

highbattalion.com/commandments.htm
check it out

"At least when you are up against the servants of Khorne you can always count on them to run straight at you." - Commissar Caiphas Cain

Glorius is the mighty SPAM god and the lesser god Pork. May they forever shine bacon and BBQ down upon us! -Emperors Faithful

SPAM FOR THE SPAM GOD!!!!! JAM FOR THE JAM THRONE!!!!!!! -codemonkey 
   
Made in us
Sneaky Striking Scorpion



Minneapolis

When you think that the dreadnought from Death Race could easily work as an Ork Battlewagon as it has no lack of dakka what so ever. You then go on to wonder if the people who made the movie were stealing from GW.

You THEN think "you know, a conversion of that thing would be REALLY cool" even though you don't play orks.
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





Chicago, Illinois

LOL!

From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war. 
   
Made in gb
Focused Fire Warrior





Southampton, UK

You think the new Linkin Park song, The Catalyst, is about a certain Tzeentchian Chaos Space Marine Chapter

I Play
I am thinking of starting Freebooterz

Currently working on Rainbow Warriors Epic Scale check it out here
   
Made in nz
Screamin' Stormboy





New Zealand

You think that the first 3 tracks off Slayer's 'Seasons in the Abyss' are written by/for the World Eaters... 'War Ensemble', 'Blood Red', 'Spirit in Black'... "I rule this inferno, enthoned for all eternity" - Indeed!

Oh, and that 'Yummy yummy yummy i've got love in my tummy' would be cruelly ironic, played as a great unclean one vomits sizzling acid all over some poor guardsmen...


10,000 crunchy points of green domination


 
   
Made in us
Battleship Captain






You think Hoodie Ninja was written for the Raven Guard.
   
Made in us
Huge Bone Giant





Oakland, CA -- U.S.A.

When you can add something new to a thread like this after 80 pages.

"It is not the bullet with your name on it that should worry you, it's the one labeled "To whom it may concern. . ."

DQ:70S++G+++MB+I+Pwhfb06+D++A+++/aWD-R++++T(D)DM+ 
   
Made in us
Hardened Veteran Guardsman





Chicago IL

When you want to see master chief be crushed by a dread.

"I would rather carry a hammer to war over any sword." - Captain Marcus, Caragaran 1st Regiment >
Caragara Planetary Defense Force Growing Fast Check out my P&M Blog.http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/306883.page
 
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





Chicago, Illinois

When you see Origins on the board at school you immedately think about the space marine Origins and your chapters. (guilty)

When you see legends. You think of Pedro Kantor or The horus hersey books.

From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war. 
   
Made in us
Sneaky Striking Scorpion



Minneapolis

You hear "Veil of Tears" as a horse name in The Sting and immediately think of harlequins.
   
Made in nz
Cloud of Flies





You know when you play too much 40K when....
You call your pet dog Karanak hound of vengance.

How do we know that reality is not just another illusion? 
   
Made in au
Unhealthy Competition With Other Legions





Ummm...somewhere...

You know you play to much 40k when ever you see a colour combination, and you think what space marine chapter it belongs to...

- "Do not believe in me who believes in you, do not believe in you who believes in me, but believe in you who believes in yourself! DUMBASS!"
~Dark Eldar- Pirates of the Crystal Moon - 2400 points 38/15/4
~Pre-heresy Luna Wolves- WIP! (Probably gonna be a while)
~Recently sold sisters, GW ruined them for me their burning of xeno's will be remembered! (Friend bought them back for me, making them work, statement so far half stands after a lesson learnt)
~ SKAVEN - 1000 points and growing, just have assassinate a few warlords to get my way...need more cheese...
'The bane of a gamers existance
   
Made in us
Androgynous Daemon Prince of Slaanesh





Norwalk, Connecticut

When you look at those cuts on your thumb and think "those look like the etches on the hindquarters of my new plastic bloodcrushers...maybe I should pour some red ink into my cuts too to make them look bad@$$" Totally did that today...

Reality is a nice place to visit, but I'd hate to live there.

Manchu wrote:I'm a Catholic. We eat our God.


Due to work, I can usually only ship any sales or trades out on Saturday morning. Please trade/purchase with this in mind.  
   
Made in au
Widowmaker



Perth, WA, australia

when your first curse to a fight in which the person have a different opinion is "HERESY"

So far
500 point of
750 point of
500 point


 
   
Made in us
Lord of the Fleet





Seneca Nation of Indians

If you've ever actually tried to hand load a bolt round.

(Still can't work out how all the things that a bolter is supposed to be can fit in a .75 slug. If I load it as described: the round is too heavy to be propelled over any real distance, and the explosives that it takes to make it suitably powerful have the alarming tendency to detonate in the chamber.

If I make it tungsten, it preforms admirably against steel and 0.5" composite plates. If I just make it explosive, it makes for an excellent HESH round. If I make it a rocket... well, it still sucks as a gyrojet. I hate reducing range and accuracy to fit sci-fi.


Fate is in heaven, armor is on the chest, accomplishment is in the feet. - Nagao Kagetora
 
   
Made in ca
Hardened Veteran Guardsman





BaronIveagh wrote:If you've ever actually tried to hand load a bolt round.

(Still can't work out how all the things that a bolter is supposed to be can fit in a .75 slug. If I load it as described: the round is too heavy to be propelled over any real distance, and the explosives that it takes to make it suitably powerful have the alarming tendency to detonate in the chamber.

If I make it tungsten, it preforms admirably against steel and 0.5" composite plates. If I just make it explosive, it makes for an excellent HESH round. If I make it a rocket... well, it still sucks as a gyrojet. I hate reducing range and accuracy to fit sci-fi.


You actually know WTF this guy is talking about

Edward Cullen. In front of a Blood Angels Death Company. Let's see your sparklepeen save you now, you filthy mutant. - The Dizzler

It's kind of like they took the old codex, took out everything everyone liked, then shat on it. - alexwars1

crew gender equality, screw gender altogether. So long as you have a place on your body where sexual torture instrument #367 may be inserted into, they don't care. - Fafnir on Dark Eldar

DR:90SG-M+B++I+Pw40k08#-D+A+/areWD-R++T(M)DM+

(custom chapter) 750
Started! 
   
Made in au
Devestating Grey Knight Dreadknight





When you think this picture is sexy.
[Thumb - It Wont fit!.jpg]

   
Made in nz
Screamin' Stormboy





New Zealand

When you think this one is too... but only coz she's holding a glowing arcane skull...
[Thumb - SlaaneshofZealots.jpg]


10,000 crunchy points of green domination


 
   
Made in gb
Member of the Malleus





A fuedal world on the fringes of Segmentum Tempestus

when youve read every single page on this thread.

A spiritu dominatus,
Domine, libra nos,
From the lighting and the tempest,
Our Emperor, deliver us.
 
   
 
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