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Is a GF within her rights to demand that her man NEVER looks at any sort of pornography online?

....sometimes while surfing, I just wind up there to take a look. If she sees it in the history or something, look out!... its arguements and threats to leave.

Now its not like you've got a "right" to look at whatever you want to, or is it?

Something just tells me that this would be a pipe dream for a woman to expect her man to never have his eyes stray. Isnt it ingrained in our DNA or something that we just love to look at the menu?

Cheating mentally still count as cheating.

I've seen marriages break up because someone gets addicted to porn and then try to start acting on what they are seeing. Sometimes they start going outside the marriage, sometimes they try to involve their wife who feels diminished or not good enough. It's tragic and rough on everyone, especially the kids.

every man in existance cheats in his mind. its knowing when to act on it that makes a man cheat or not cheat.

@ Lunahound

So if I just THINK about a roll in the hay with some girl with no intentions of actually doing so because I care for and want to stay with my GF, she still has reason to dump me same as if I had actually cheated on her?

Sounds extreme.

The person in a relationship with someone who looks at porn feels inferior and distanced in not all, but many cases. I've never seen good things come out of it.

LunaHound wrote:Cheating mentally still count as cheating.

by that definition I think everyone on the planet has cheated.

My GF watches Pr0n with me.

Luna: How old are you? How many serious relationships have you had? Not that I would try to deny you your opinion, or your "right" to voice it here; but any opinion must be put into perspective. I think the answers to those two questions will bracket up the value of your opinion nicely.

Porn is only as important to this dispute as it is to you. If one had to go; the IRL girl or the e-girlz, which would it be? Also, one must also take into account the possibility of the Controlling Bitch factor. If you cave on this, is she just going to find something else to make drama over? In that case, you must think of what is more important to you; peace in your romantic life or her?

Some girls just like drama, some like to control their men and other people, some are actually offended by pornograghy. I think you must figure out which of those three she is most rikki-tik, and move from there. If you want peace, one will have to go.

And if you decide that it has to be her, then bounce her whore ass out of your life hard enough that she will never bounce back into it. Better for her to be put emotionally out of commission for the rest of her life, than be left intact enough to cause you future misery.

IntoTheRain wrote:

LunaHound wrote:Cheating mentally still count as cheating.

by that definition I think everyone on the planet has cheated.

I guess everyone on the planet has grounds to dump his/her BF/GF then....

My question here is why look at porn if you truly love your BF/GF then?
From the lives and relationships I've seen it wreck, I truly hate it.

well no sane woman will let you crap on her chest, or suck off a donkey for you, and sometimes you just need to watch gak like that done by professionals.

Horst wrote:well no sane woman will let you crap on her chest, or suck off a donkey for you, and sometimes you just need to watch gak like that done by professionals.

I know that was probably said as a joke, yet I know of relationships ending because one person or the other wanted to start acting out the stuff they'd been seeing.

Horst wrote:well no sane woman will let you crap on her chest, or suck off a donkey for you, and sometimes you just need to watch gak like that done by professionals.

sigged

The people that put this crap out have no respect for anyone. They will use any trick to get it into our lives. I was working with my daughter on the computer once and had typed a map address in. One missed key caused a porn site to appear on screen. I don't know how many of you are parents, but knowing the guys that put this stuff out and the tricks they use to put it in front of children is frightning to someone that has kids.

Pretty much, it is within her 'rights' to make any demand she wants that involve behaviors she doesn't want in a mate, and it within your 'rights' to tell her to hit the road if her demands don't mesh with what you believe reasonable demands should be.

It's really up to the both of you to discuss it like adults and set your boundaries. If she cannot abide the idea of being with a man who looks at porn, then you're going to have to choose between her and porn. And that's not saying either of you is right. If porn makes her uncomfortable, well, that's just how she is. But, on the other hand, I'm not sure I'd want to be with anyone who gave me restrictions on what I do with my own time - so I'm not really taking her side either.

The one absolute no-no, in my mind, is dishonesty. If she asks you not to, you're within your rights to tell her you think that's an unreasonable request. But if you tell her you won't, and then you do, you open up a whole world of trust issues. It is better for you to fight for something that you care about (whether that be porn, or watching football, or playing with toy soldiers) rather than agree to her demands to shut her up, and then sneak around doing whatever it was anyway.

Hope this helps.

Beerfart wrote:Is a GF within her rights to demand that her man NEVER looks at any sort of pornography online?

Sure, she is.

But that doesn't mean you need to bend over and take it like a beetch...

Who wears the pants in your relationship, anyways?

There are a couple of issues here.

First, we all give up certain freedoms to be in a relationship. Most notably, the freedom to pursue other people, but we all change our behaviors to make a relationship go more smoothly. As such, it's not totally out of line for one person to ask another to not do something that they dislike/find offensive/whatever.

That said,what's her problem with porn? Does she find it degrading to women? Does she think she's not satisfying you? Does she simply think it's morally wrong? If she has a legit reason to ask you to stop, than it's a different story. Most of the time, there really isn't one.

Second, you have to figure out why you watch porn. Is it for entertainment? Or do you simply like a little boost while taking care of personal affairs? This is important, because many women don't like guys masturbating at all. So, you gotta figure out what the root issue is before you tangle it up.

As relapse has pointed out, a couple of times, is that there are times when porn is harmful, both to a person and to a relationship. Like any obsession or psychological additiction, from hummel figureines to betting on dog racing, porn "addiction" can be very harmful. That's a long way from enjoying a nice show while cranking on out once a night.

So, it's possible that she has feelings of inadequecy that make her feel bad if she knows you're viewing porn. It's also possible she's just being controlling and petty. Let's also face facts: you're not going to stop looking at porn. You're simply not, because for many guys there is simply no way for any woman to meet all sexual needs, either in quantity or quality. Or, as Dan Savage says, "we can either expect our mates to be monogamous, or we can withhold sex. We cannot morally do both."

Hmm my reply had some weird reaction....

would you like ur gf looking at porn of hot studs?

LunaHound wrote:Hmm my reply had some weird reaction....

would you like ur gf looking at porn of hot studs?

In my experience a woman that enjoys porn has a pretty high sex drive, and that usually means good things. You take the good with the bad.

Now, would I rather her looking at porn instead of spending time with me? Of course not. But that doesn't mean I'm going to deny her some fun when I'm not around.

It's best to decide right now whether or not this relationship is going to work, rather than creating a slow-simmering cauldron of resentment that ends with a big, ugly spectacle and somebody being found in the river, in a hefty bag.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1187



Anyway, is this one of those no masturbating allowed relationships?

Redbeard wrote:Pretty much, it is within her 'rights' to make any demand she wants that involve behaviors she doesn't want in a mate, and it within your 'rights' to tell her to hit the road if her demands don't mesh with what you believe reasonable demands should be.

It's really up to the both of you to discuss it like adults and set your boundaries. If she cannot abide the idea of being with a man who looks at porn, then you're going to have to choose between her and porn. And that's not saying either of you is right. If porn makes her uncomfortable, well, that's just how she is. But, on the other hand, I'm not sure I'd want to be with anyone who gave me restrictions on what I do with my own time - so I'm not really taking her side either.

The one absolute no-no, in my mind, is dishonesty. If she asks you not to, you're within your rights to tell her you think that's an unreasonable request. But if you tell her you won't, and then you do, you open up a whole world of trust issues. It is better for you to fight for something that you care about (whether that be porn, or watching football, or playing with toy soldiers) rather than agree to her demands to shut her up, and then sneak around doing whatever it was anyway.

Hope this helps.

QFT

OP, forget about 'rights' in case. You have the ABILITY to look at anything you're able to, and so long as you're prepared for the consequences it won't cause you or anyone else you care about any distress.

Unless you're fourteen or something, the old 'ingrained in our DNA' line is a terrible and dehumanising excuse.

Incidentally, here in Australia, 'hardcore' or 'X' rated pornography is absolutely illegal.

I feel that in general western cultures view sex in a terrible light. Porn is an natural response to the technology available. Your ancient ancestors used to look at paintings on walls and lumps of mud that looked like penises.

My only problem is that the porn industry restricts the types of bodies that we are exposed to and creates unnatural ideas of beauty. When was the last time you saw a 6' 135 lb naturally hairless blonde with a white anus? (anus bleaching is freaking creepy!) In real life?

Everyone has sex, everyone masturbates, and everyone likes to look at other people doing the same. Even apes do it! http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/11/magazine/11ideas_section3-1.html

Clthomps wrote:Your ancient ancestors used to look at paintings on walls and lumps of mud that looked like penises.

Fap away then ( im posting cavemen porn lol )

W
x
Y

Never been a fan of disproportionate W's anyway.

Beerfart wrote:Is a GF within her rights to demand that her man NEVER looks at any sort of pornography online?

Is she giving it up regularly? If yes, no need for porn. If no, demand more yes. If no still, tell her porn is only option.

Looking at porn suggests something that is unfulfilled or empty in your relationship. This of course signifies unhappiness or discontent with your girlfriend. Porn has ruined lives, and will continue to do so. She is perfectly within her rights to say you can't look at porn, cuz she doesn't have to date someone who isn't the man she wants, but that also goes vice versa. I agree with Luna on this one. If you can't give something like this up for the woman you supposedly love then maybe you should look for love elsewhere. Remember love is about sacrifice, and that goes both ways.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

grizgrin wrote:Luna: How old are you? How many serious relationships have you had? Not that I would try to deny you your opinion, or your "right" to voice it here; but any opinion must be put into perspective. I think the answers to those two questions will bracket up the value of your opinion nicely.

I don't think that this is a fair post. Its none of your business, and unless Luna shares it with us, its none of ours. Lets be honest, in this situation, where he is posting on the internet, does it really matter what any person's life or history is like? They will make up any past if they want to in order to justify their claim. As long as anyone has a decent answer, which Luna does, then this is really a pointless post. Like I said, he is posting the question on an internet forum, not going to a professional, so our background or experiences is irrelevant.

Porn is, and always has been, about fantasy. Being in a relationship, even an incredibly healthy one, does not destroy the desire to experience the fantastic. Asking a guy to completely give up porn is very much like asking a girl to give up Twilight.

That said, she can choose to object anything she chooses. This seems like something extremely silly to object to (How many guys in the world don't look at porn?), but that's a separate matter altogether.

If a man or woman is watching porn in a relationship 99% of the time it is because he / she has a higher sex drive than their partner.

The remaining 1% of the population have socially unacceptable fetishes and/or are prone to compulsions and obsessions (Just like drug addiction or even a gambling compulsions).


The only time porn causes problems in relationships is if you are either in the 1%

OR

One or both partners have serious trust issues, and if this is the case no abstinence of porn will ever make your relationship a healthy one.