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Necros wrote:If you're a gamer nerd lucky enough to have a GF, and said GF says "I don't like porn, and I'd prefer you didn't watch it", and you continue to watch it, she's well within her right to dump you. If you wanna keep said GF, do what she asks and quit watching. Don't think you can get away with it and she'll never know, because eventually she'll find out and then you'll be all alone. There's a big difference between not watching because you know it offends her, and her trying to control ya. If you care about someone, you should be willing to make a compromise here and there for the greater good.
What you described is neither compromise nor for the greater good.
We don't know the context really of the situation which really makes it difficult to give out to much advice. Is it something he looks at on occasion or is he watching it 6 hours a day while she is sitting alone trying to watch TV/be sociable/plant petunias/everything?
Amidst the mists and coldest frosts he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
Necros wrote:If you're a gamer nerd lucky enough to have a GF,
Pfft.
I dunno. It really depends on how good the sex is, along with whether she's friendly / sociable outside of the sack. If she's absolutely incredible in the sack, the best lay you've ever had, then maybe she's worth keeping. But mediocre sex isn't worth being whipped over.
Arctik_Firangi wrote:
Incidentally, here in Australia, 'hardcore' or 'X' rated pornography is absolutely illegal.
That totally explains why all Aussies are crazy.
Does it stop people? No. Will Kevin Rudd's Proposed mandatory Internet censorship stop people? No.
BrookM wrote:Goes to show just how boring Australia is.
Horse ****. What do you think one of our biggest industries is? Tourism. Why? Because we have an interesting history, interesting buildings, a big rock, big other assorted things (insert innuendo here)... Like sheep, pineapples, bananas etc, and the Great Barrier Reef.
Tauzor wrote:
JEB_Stuart wrote:Looking at porn suggests something that is unfulfilled or empty in your relationship. This of course signifies unhappiness or discontent with your girlfriend. Porn has ruined lives, and will continue to do so. She is perfectly within her rights to say you can't look at porn, cuz she doesn't have to date someone who isn't the man she wants, but that also goes vice versa. I agree with Luna on this one. If you can't give something like this up for the woman you supposedly love then maybe you should look for love elsewhere. Remember love is about sacrifice, and that goes both ways.
BOLLOX
I make porn with the wife & girlfriend.
People have alternative lifestyles you cannot enforce your moral standings on others, thats what results in wars and hate.
Ahem... watch out for that banana cream pie... it will make you gay, just saying though.
Okay, that is some funny ****!
As to the on topic: I can't say much that hasn't already been said. It actually reminds me of a thread on WAU about a guy who's pregnant wife wanted him to stop wargaming as it "would desensitize the child" and that thread devolved into "ditch the b!tch"
Personally? I think if you are watching porn instead of spending time with her? (i.e. watching it 6 hours a day) She has a reason to be upset. Otherwise, she is probably bein a control freak.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/09/26 19:41:55
Jimi supports METAL
We're outnumbered ten to one here. Still' I love the odds! - Free Will Sacrifice - Amon Amarth
Ketara wrote:To survive on the net requires that you adapt the attributes of a Rhinocerous to a certain extent. A thick skin, a big horn to stab people you don't like, and poor eyesight when certain images are linked from places like 4chan.
People have alternative lifestyles you cannot enforce your moral standings on others, thats what results in wars and hate.
Overreaction much? I never said anything about moral standards. I was simply referring to the fact that viewing porn is an expression of something unfulfilled, maybe fantasy or not, that you have in your life. Read the post before you decide to make an ignorant statement.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/09/23 06:43:29
DR:80+S(GT)G++M++B-I++Pwmhd05#+D+++A+++/sWD-R++T(Ot)DM+ How is it they live in such harmony - the billions of stars - when most men can barely go a minute without declaring war in their minds about someone they know.
- St. Thomas Aquinas
Warhammer 40K:
Alpha Legion - 15,000 pts For the Emperor!
WAAAGH! Skullhooka - 14,000 pts
Biel Tan Strikeforce - 11,000 pts
"The Eldar get no attention because the average male does not like confetti blasters, shimmer shields or sparkle lasers."
-Illeix
Just like playing Warhammer is an expression of one's lack of freedom to run around shooting foreigners? Fantasy isn't all bad, and in many cases preferable to fulfillment, at least on a social level.
Australia (Recently ravaged by the Hive Fleet Ginger Overlord)
I'm with JEB on this one. (the pic won me over)
I think you're a bit off the mark there Arctik_Firangi. That was not what JEB was trying to say. He was simply pointing out that if you are looking at porn, then you obviously don't think your girlfriend it good enough.
Smacks wrote:
After the game, pack up all your miniatures, then slap the guy next to you on the ass and say.
Necros wrote:If you're a gamer nerd lucky enough to have a GF, and said GF says "I don't like porn, and I'd prefer you didn't watch it", and you continue to watch it, she's well within her right to dump you. If you wanna keep said GF, do what she asks and quit watching. Don't think you can get away with it and she'll never know, because eventually she'll find out and then you'll be all alone. There's a big difference between not watching because you know it offends her, and her trying to control ya. If you care about someone, you should be willing to make a compromise here and there for the greater good.
Heck no.
Aside from it being incredibly patronising (not just towards the op, but evreyone on this board) to suggest that because the OP is a gamer he should consider himself lucky to even have a GF, it is never a good thing to be a relationship with a control freak. It’s far far better to be single.
I accept compromise can be important. A fair compromise would be, for example, to only look at pron when the GF is not about and to delete the cache after a session. Saying not to look at it at all is not a compromise; it is an ultimatum, and an unreasonable one at that.
"And if we've learnt anything over the past 1000 mile retreat it's that Russian agriculture is in dire need of mechanisation!"
Emperors Faithful wrote:I'm with JEB on this one. (the pic won me over)
I think you're a bit off the mark there Arctik_Firangi. That was not what JEB was trying to say. He was simply pointing out that if you are looking at porn, then you obviously don't think your girlfriend it good enough.
It depends what you mean by "good enough." Men aren't biologically wired to be monogamous, we can mate with many different females to spread our genes. From an instinctive perspective, no one woman is ever enough. Also, if you like variety in your life, no one woman can be everything that you can possibly want. So, porn is a good way of satisfying that demand, whether it be for another race, group sex, fetishes, etc.
I'd want to make it clear that just because a guy is looking at porn doesn't mean he's unsatisfied with his gf.
Emperors Faithful wrote:...if you are looking at porn, then you obviously don't think your girlfriend it good enough.
I'd want to make it clear that just because a guy is looking at porn doesn't mean he's unsatisfied with his gf.
Just a side note:
Humans aren't built monogamous worse yet, when faced with a perceived authority (see also the Milgram, and Stanford Prison experiments) mankind has the habit of compliance.
So, if its really the 'right' thing, how come some invisible sky wizard had to decree, and enforce it by word of mouth by some guy with a fancy robe and tall hat.
Special unique snowflake of unique specialness (+1/+3versus werewolves)
Alternatively I'm a magical internet fairy.
Pho indignation *IS* the tastiest form of angry!
Emperors Faithful wrote:...if you are looking at porn, then you obviously don't think your girlfriend it good enough.
I'd want to make it clear that just because a guy is looking at porn doesn't mean he's unsatisfied with his gf.
Just a side note:
Humans aren't built monogamous worse yet, when faced with a perceived authority (see also the Milgram, and Stanford Prison experiments) mankind has the habit of compliance.
So, if its really the 'right' thing, how come some invisible sky wizard had to decree, and enforce it by word of mouth by some guy with a fancy robe and tall hat.
Monogamy predates the fancy robe man. Part of why monogamy is so popular is that it gives structure. Polygamy provides fluidity sure, but most people tend to like structure.
edit: Not sure how this whole thing is now a discussion of p0rn as it relates to fidelity...
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/09/23 20:45:51
youngblood wrote:
Monogamy predates the fancy robe man. Part of why monogamy is so popular is that it gives structure. Polygamy provides fluidity sure, but most people tend to like structure.
Fancy robe folks seem to crop up all along mankinds' history.
Although documents dating to 1000BC show glimpses monogamy in the Abrahammic faiths, sororate marriages still stood in the Zhou dynasty. Solomon had many wives. As much as humans like monogamy on a social level, it just doesn't seem to stick.
We seem to have missed the arguments for and against the exploitative function of pr0n on women still!
Back to the discussion at hand though -
Its nice she doesn't like porn. She doesn't have to look.
Edit: (nice of me to complete the thought. let me try that)
Pr0n is simply not the gateway to fidelity or lack thereof any more than a knife is a gateway to murder (dinner maybe, but murder is subjective).
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/09/23 21:14:52
Special unique snowflake of unique specialness (+1/+3versus werewolves)
Alternatively I'm a magical internet fairy.
Pho indignation *IS* the tastiest form of angry!
Oldgrue wrote:Pr0n is simply not the gateway to fidelity or lack thereof any more than a knife is a gateway to murder (dinner maybe, but murder is subjective).
Much as I wanted to give internets to KK,
Wrecksaur wins many many internets again!
Special unique snowflake of unique specialness (+1/+3versus werewolves)
Alternatively I'm a magical internet fairy.
Pho indignation *IS* the tastiest form of angry!
Ok, not be a bit contrarian but there have been studies showing a strong desensitization effect with PrOn. There's some really wacked out stuff no, especially on the intrawebs. I can see the GF/wife freaking out in many instances.
In addition it creates really false stereotype stuff (but thats for the topic more for youngins vs. married/GF stage).
Its another slippery slope issue on a personal scale. moderation boys and girls, its whats for breakfast.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/09/24 13:58:19
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Frazzled wrote:...moderation boys and girls, its whats for breakfast.
So, back to meat and tasty tasty murder?
Edit: left out requisite Chianti/Fava Bean reference.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/09/25 20:07:47
Special unique snowflake of unique specialness (+1/+3versus werewolves)
Alternatively I'm a magical internet fairy.
Pho indignation *IS* the tastiest form of angry!
EDIT: Sorry, I didn't see this thread already had four pages with several good answers.
Either way, I bet vegetarians watch porn, too. And I bet Morrissey watches porn of a kind that'd make some people here jump out of their windows
_________________________________________
JEB_Stuart wrote:Looking at porn suggests something that is unfulfilled or empty in your relationship. This of course signifies unhappiness or discontent with your girlfriend. Porn has ruined lives, and will continue to do so.
Nothing has to be empty. Porn (excluding the real sick stuff, for civility's sake) is entertainment for adults, and while it might still be a little taboo in some corners of the world, it is in essence nothing else than watching football matches or playing video games. It's a pastime, a way to occupy your fantasy. It is neither sent by Satan nor is everybody in the porn industry a ruthless would-be slaver. One could easily argument that watching porn (perhaps even together with your partner) can add new facets to your relationship. That doesn't mean it has had to be empty beforehands. One could also simply exchange "porn" with "wargaming" and argue that your life isn't that fulfilled when you have to play with toy soldiers as an adult - which is an opinion that everybody here knows and nobody here likes. With porn, it's just the same. In the end, it all boils down to whether people are tolerant and open-minded or not; porn and wargaming (for example) aren't inherently morally good or bad. And I think we all want people to be tolerant and open-minded, and I also think everyone should start with himself.
Either way, I second Clthomps and dogma.
This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2009/09/26 00:41:25
Space_Potato wrote:
Just Dave wrote:Simple Question Really, how do you think things would be different if Guilliman hadn't created the Codex Astartes?
Rape and pillage! Orks roaming the countryside, raping our churches and burning our women!
LunaHound wrote:Cheating mentally still count as cheating.
Gotta disagree with ya Luna. Just because a man in a relationship imagines, say sleeping with Beyonce, does not mean he well do anything.
And for that matter, just because a woman is in a relationship and thinks about sleeping with CLive Owen, does not mean she will.
Or for that matter that they will even have a snowball's chance in hell.
As for watching porn in a relationship, just don't scream out the pornstars name during sex. Especially if it's a dude.