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1st I hope he is. Phil I hate.

2nd At first we thought that he was invited. So no one said any thing we just gritted our teeth and went on, Then we found out through dinner that no one invited him

3rd Its a shop I cant be telling off people i don't like left and right the owner would kick me out!

So was he making up rules or just using rules you didn't know? There's a massive, massive difference.

If you and your friends didnt want to play with him you should have just said that. Yes, he may have been upset, but if you were polite about it then let him look like a jerk.

Also I would like to add that just because its a public place doesnt mean you lose the rights to choose who you play a game with, if Im sitting on a park bench eating lunch and someone sits down next to be I dont have to just give them my food. If I meet up with a friend to play a game then I dont see why I should be forced to play someone who happens to walk by and decides they want to play.

Was this at the Goblin's apoc game on Saturday? Or a diferent apoc game in the Capital district?

Just curious, as the Goblin's was an open invite on facebook. I would have gone to that one but was dragged out hiking instead.

 Nevelon wrote:
Was this at the Goblin's apoc game on Saturday? Or a diferent apoc game in the Capital district?

Just curious, as the Goblin's was an open invite on facebook. I would have gone to that one but was dragged out hiking instead.

And there you go. If it's an open invite, well, don't do that

So we learned a valuable lesson here.

Next time you have an apoc game, manage the invite list, and know who is and isn't allowed.This might, of course require the courage to take the socially awkward step of politely telling party crashers:
"I'm sorry, this game is by invite-only for a set group."

There's almost no way to avoid a little hurt feelings, but responsibly managing attendance doesn't mean you are -or have to act like- a jerk.

Or better yet, to avoid this type of thing happening again, just don't play 40k...

Just kidding.
No i'm not.
What?

 Frogboy14 wrote:
1st I hope he is. Phil I hate.

2nd At first we thought that he was invited. So no one said any thing we just gritted our teeth and went on, Then we found out through dinner that no one invited him

3rd Its a shop I cant be telling off people i don't like left and right the owner would kick me out!

Let him unpack all his gak and set it up. Tell him he wins. Play a second private game without him...

We had a similar story like that here, it is involves ponies so don't read if you dont like that stuff.

I have been gone from my club for a month after the tau codex released. In that time a real jerk joined the league, no one wanted to play him, he insulted you and just made fun of your army.
Now i come back with my tau army case which has an MLP sticker on it. HE then proceeds to insult me for being a brony. He calls me a manchild, a social reject and other things which do not bear mentioning. Rather then deal with this I challenge him to an 1850 game with my new tau. HE has the cheesiest IG ever, Vultures, Sabres and so forth. I just have vanilla Tau with a riptide and broadsides and hammerhead.
I dont know what happened, whether it was my anger being channeled into my dice, or my tau wanted to avenge me, but everything over performed, entire tank companies where wiped out a turn, failed leader ships, even my riptide winning assault against a sabre unit and sweeping advanced them. Oh and the vulture crashed and landed on his units....the turn it came it.
When it was done he started to whine and moan, he nearly broke my Riptide.
Well I got up to his face, told him he was no longer allowed here, that I am friends with the owners and staff(I'm not really with the owner, but the staff will back me up) and he should leave before it gets worse.

 Rotgut wrote:
Also I would like to add that just because its a public place doesnt mean you lose the rights to choose who you play a game with, if Im sitting on a park bench eating lunch and someone sits down next to be I dont have to just give them my food.

Not the same thing. No one gave this guy their models. Public places (and lets call stores public places in this situation) are for everyone, and if you can't stand that then it's up to you to leave, not the person you don't like.

 mattyrm wrote:
A simple feth off is usually the perfect accompaniment to a dish like this.

Mattyrm is correct.

F Off is always a socially acceptable response to a d-bag.

Also, Play Apocalypse at home. It's the only way.

 angel of ecstasy wrote:

 Rotgut wrote:
Also I would like to add that just because its a public place doesnt mean you lose the rights to choose who you play a game with, if Im sitting on a park bench eating lunch and someone sits down next to be I dont have to just give them my food.

Not the same thing. No one gave this guy their models. Public places (and lets call stores public places in this situation) are for everyone, and if you can't stand that then it's up to you to leave, not the person you don't like.

The problem because is that it takes two to tango... If you don't want to play against someone, you don't have to.

I feel this thread turned into how to deal with D bags and not having a game crashed our wrecked.

Also yes it was the goblin. The guy is not on there fb page so its a controlled invite. Also wait who are you???

Also we didn't know he was crashing it and we cant be like feth off bro half way through a game.

 Frogboy14 wrote:
I feel this thread turned into how to deal with D bags and not having a game crashed our wrecked.

Also yes it was the goblin. The guy is not on there fb page so its a controlled invite. Also wait who are you???

Also we didn't know he was crashing it and we cant be like feth off bro half way through a game.

Again, was he making up rules or was he using the official rules, your original post isn't clear on it.

 Alfndrate wrote:

 angel of ecstasy wrote:

 Rotgut wrote:
Also I would like to add that just because its a public place doesnt mean you lose the rights to choose who you play a game with, if Im sitting on a park bench eating lunch and someone sits down next to be I dont have to just give them my food.

Not the same thing. No one gave this guy their models. Public places (and lets call stores public places in this situation) are for everyone, and if you can't stand that then it's up to you to leave, not the person you don't like.

The problem because is that it takes two to tango... If you don't want to play against someone, you don't have to.

Exactly, the point I was trying to make was that even though you go to a public store to play, you are not then forced to play with people you dont want to. Now it turns out that this was broadcast on fb so there is a difference but I still think that I shouldnt be forced to play with people I dont like or dont want to play against just because Im in a public setting.

 Frogboy14 wrote:
I feel this thread turned into how to deal with D bags and not having a game crashed our wrecked.

Also yes it was the goblin. The guy is not on there fb page so its a controlled invite. Also wait who are you???

Also we didn't know he was crashing it and we cant be like feth off bro half way through a game.

So it was a controlled invite in a Facebook group. He was not a part of the group. Because he was not part of the group he could not get the invite. But you had no idea that he was crashing

Yeah its a private fb group and we thought he was with our buddy. we didn't know that he never got an invite till after we had some dinner.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Also yeah he was saying his character was name " Joe Blow" and he has the profile of Karne and he also has x y and Z

 angel of ecstasy wrote:

 Rotgut wrote:
Also I would like to add that just because its a public place doesnt mean you lose the rights to choose who you play a game with, if Im sitting on a park bench eating lunch and someone sits down next to be I dont have to just give them my food.

Not the same thing. No one gave this guy their models. Public places (and lets call stores public places in this situation) are for everyone, and if you can't stand that then it's up to you to leave, not the person you don't like.

Again, depends on the rules of the venue.

I don't know any game store that requires you to allow just anyone to play with you.

 Frogboy14 wrote:
Yeah its a private fb group and we thought he was with our buddy. we didn't know that he never got an invite till after we had some dinner.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Also yeah he was saying his character was name " Joe Blow" and he has the profile of Karne and he also has x y and Z

So he wasn't using made up rules? Or he was. Because using something as your own version of a counts as Kharne is 100% legit.

I have to agree with kronk and mattyrm.

Sack up and get a little confrontation in your life. You'd be amazed at how empowering telling someone to piss off is.

Not to sound like a total jerk, but is the guy alright upstairs? Does the guy have Aspergers or something else?

This guy is hated in the whole Capital Area of New York. You want to just play a fun 1000 point game this dude breaks out his forge world army's and demands you use his rules. He also feels the need to challenge any new players to the hobby to a "friendly" game. Were he then goes about cock slapping you with some out of this world bull gak list. He is the main reason we wont go back to that store and go an hour north.

We had a guy like that. He stopped coming around when I DQed and booted him out of an `Ard Boyz tournament for cheating.

I would love to meet such a douche, i got a lot of pent up anger i need to release!

Well, the next time, just politely tell him you dont wish to game with him. You dont have to explain why, just tell him no, problem solved.

There is no benefit in being rude it makes you the lesser person of the moment.

 Monster Rain wrote:
I have to agree with kronk and mattyrm.

Sack up and get a little confrontation in your life. You'd be amazed at how empowering telling someone to piss off is.

It kinda is, showing that you are not to be messed around with is empowering sometimes.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

 Monster Rain wrote:
I have to agree with kronk and mattyrm.

Sack up and get a little confrontation in your life. You'd be amazed at how empowering telling someone to piss off is.

It kinda is, showing that you are not to be messed around with is empowering sometimes.

Remaining calm, cool and collected empowers you more than being rude, you are still saying no to the person.

If someone is rude to you and you are rude back, you have actually empowered them and disempowered yourself because you are reacting to them instead of giving a normal civilized response. So basically, you have "lost" the confrontation because you lowered yourself to their level.

This is a fundamental principle that you would learn from any half decent martial art instructor and all of the good ones.

You don't have to be rude in order to assert yourself.

Don't jump to conclusions. Be firm, direct, and calm.

Assertive: Putting your needs at the same level as whomever you're dealing with. i.e. Not being a punching bag or push over.

Aggressive: Putting your needs as a higher level than whomever you're dealing with. i.e. being a d-bag.

If someone shows up uninvited or has shown an unwillingness to play nicely, then he's putting his needs over everyone elses. He's being aggressive. You can be aggressive and still smile, you know? You should assert yourself and tell him no.

 kronk wrote:
........... You can be aggressive and still smile, you know? You should assert yourself and tell him no.

This is beginning to sound like Prom night advice?

 Alex Kolodotschko wrote:
It happens all the time in real life too.
Tell him he wasn't invited and carry on with your game.
Simple.

Some people have a hard time doing that. And it can be tough to do. One way to handle the situation was to suck it up, realize you made a mistake, and blow off some steam with a DakkaDakka thread. This seems to be exactly what we have here. And, in the future, make it a point to not play with that guy.

If you are attempting to be non-confrontational/be polite, "I" statements are effective. "I'm sorry, I am not comfortable playing with those rules." "None of us brought superheavy units, so I am concerned it would not be fair to play with them." "I wanted to have a game with friends, and I do not know you very well. I would feel a bit awkward playing with you." Of course, doing that takes practice.

Things like this happen. He wormed his way into the game. It sucked, lesson learned. Plenty of people have had similar experiences, myself included. In any social hobby like wargaming tehre's always going to be TFGs. Usually it takes a few go-arounds to make a conclusive identification.