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I don't get it? I try and act normal, Try and act like a nice person. I have decent Social Skills and introduce myself properly when I meet new people. I guess I do dress a little differently than anyone else but I just have a different sense of style that's all. Love my fedora and trench coat during winter etc. For some reason unknown to me I just come off as that really creepy guy who needs to stop being so creepy!

I dunno, At first It didn't bother me but now...Its kinda starting too. I have tried hard to work on this but I am thinking its just useless.
I mean just today, I went out to a event hosted by "The Donkey Show" guys in Medford Oregon. They were doing some events and stuff that were pretty fun.
I even joined in on one of them. Shook hands with a couple of the guys. Even a few friends of mine whom know the guys pretty well enough were talking to them and all.
As we were all leaving one of them had the gull to tell me to stop being so creepy.

AGAIN WITH THE CREEPY. I am pretty sure I did not act differently than anyone else. I joined in on an activity that I would otherwise not had done before, which I had a lot of fun with and no one else really seemed to look at me weird.

I get many people starring at me constantly for the past several years. I dont talk to myself or act strange. I am certainly not ugly or walk funny.
Yet people insist on taking one look at me and Giving me the "way too creepy label" Its starting to become a real bummer. I mean, I got tons of friends and people who know me but that is only because more or less at one point. Most of them were put into a position where they had to spend time actually talking to me. But it seems that every girl who I ever see does this thing where I seem to be Transparent. They look through me, Never actually seeing me but looking directly through me. Guys just see some creepy fella etc.

I don't think I am overly polite or rude or anything and if someone does not seem to like me I stay away. So...I dunno. I just do not get it. Even If I knew the answer I do not think its something that can be fixed.

Is there anyone out there or a place out there with other creepy people like me? I am starting to think that In order to find places where there are people I can connect with or a girl for that matter that I could make any kind of connections with. It would be finding someone or somewhere the people are as creepy as I am.

Are you overly earnest? Most people like to keep conversation light and breezy, and if you try to get too deep it can come off as intense, which in turn can push many people's 'creepy' button.


Judging by your post, that would be my best guess. You don't know anyone here, yet your willing to bare your soul. If you extended that to your real life, and you were talking to me (for the sake of argument), I'd be like 'uh, why's this guy giving me his life story?'.

Just my opinion, feel free to disregard.

I'm agreeing with Alby on this one.

Albatross is probably correct, but just in case, make sure you dont have a monobrow as that makes anybody creepy:

To be fair though Lego, the dude in your top picture would probably still be creepy if he had plucked eyebrows.

More so, if anything.

Yeah but the plucked eyebrows would take it down a notch enough that I'd be willing to get in his taxi at least.

Yep, he's fairly rapey at present. Still, he seems cheerful enough.

Albatross wrote:Yep, he's fairly rapey at present. Still, he seems cheerful enough.

Spat out my tea, thanks! But I now have a bench mark level with which to assess future taxi drivers!

Cheerful
Not cheerful - The standard.
Rapey - Not cheerful - You gotta gets home but phone ahead.
Rapey - and cheerful - Avoid at all costs!

back top the OP I also agree with Alby - you may come over as being too intense and overbearing. Maybe take a deep breath and ask your true friends how you come across to other people.

Funnily enough, a cheerful taxi-driving rapist (convicted and everything...) used to come into my old work on a regular basis. Now he WAS creepy. The OP just sounds like the travails of a teenager.


And so, the circle is complete.

It might help to change your image - get rid of the trench coat and fedora and get a T-shirt (or shirt).

Sometimes people see what is on the outside and make assumptions.

I like to go out dressed as Bungle the bear and nobody calls me creepy...

Just make jokes and don't try too hard, new friends don't want to talk about the deep and meaningful.

I'd go take a class on communication and public speaking.

If you are earnest about have people see and look at you, these classes help point out things not to do to people.

And try not to substitute it with the internet. For instance, making a thread on a wargamming website asking for advice on how not to be creepy.

I'd suspect 2 things.

Firstly I agree with the above comments, the unusual openness and the intense depth of the conversation is probably too much for an ice breaker. Also, yeah, lose the trenchcoat and hat. Get yourself some nondescript clothes or if you wish to retain individuality, go with some harmless or light humour Tshirts or hoodies, sites like 'thinkgeek' may help there.

Secondly, I suspect that given your open post here and you seeking advice, this is something that troubles you. This can lead to a lack of confidence and coming across as a bit desperate or nervous or uncomfortable and that's leading you into a self fulfilling prophecy of your discomfort and paranoia about being unwelcome coming across as 'creepy' behaviour.

Folks like light hearted and chillaxed people. Women are attracted to it, men find it less threatening. As a deep and intense person myself, with a deadpan dry sense of humour, I can sympathise with your situation a fair bit. I don't always find it easy on first introductions with people, I find trivial conversation fairly difficult to maintain because it doesn't interest me. Ive encountered even more difficulty with this since moving to the states as folks here get deadpan humour even less than brits.

Short answer I'd suggest is some relaxation techniques, some confidence classes or something like that, change your wardrobe out and dismiss your expectations of people. Also don't over-analyse each social encounter.

I try and act normal, Try and act like a nice person.

Stop trying and just be. If you're forcing a smile or humour or friendliness it's about the worst thing in the world.

As to the guy that called you creepy, he was a gakker, forget it. Reassure yourself that his need to put others down probably stems from his mother being used as a mattress by all his chums...

MeanGreenStompa. For the use of the word "chillaxed" you are here by found one internet point.

To the OP, you'll get used to it. I my self say very little to the point were a nod and a "hmm" is convosation for me. Note; I'm considerd a freak and a werido but hay the world would be a dull place indeed with out us freaks

Soon you will find out that it matters not what others think of you. Just become the silent type that nods and says "really" "maybe" "cool" "Nice" and the "Yes" and "No". With just the use of these six words you can have a full convosation and let the other person do all the talking. People like talking about them self so let them

As for clothing "Meh", those that make a snap dission on what you wear are probably not worth knowing (and I say that with a boat load of experience).

Don't forget you play with toy soldiers. Creepy boy!

Talk a public speaking class. watch people as they talk. Always make sure to put your best face forward. Learn to tell a joke. Pick up on ques people give with their face voice. learn how to use charm and wit.

I worked with a guy named Chuck once that had the same problem. He was nice enough after you got to know him, but first impressions he was just plain ol creepy. He too wore a trench coat w/headrag and was just creepy. He swore he wasnt acting out of place, but he would just stare at people, and that is creepy to others. If you want to talk to them, say something, say hello of hey or something, dont just eye rape strangers.

He too would just talk to openly and ask to many personal questions right off the bat, hell I knew him for awhile and he would STILL do stuff like that. I would have to tell him "hey man, thats a bit personal to ask people" I mean, if we were good friends it wouldnt of been odd, but we just worked together. He didnt mean anything by it, but it was still off putting.

Maybe your doing those things and not even knowing it.

Staring into space when not talking to someone or doing something is incredibly creepy, more so when the space you're staring at is in the general direction of someone else.

If you try to be too friendly then people will think you're a creep. If you're in an elevator and someone else walks in it is perfectly acceptable to say "Good morning, some weather huh?"

But if you decided to shake hands and introduce yourself it gets a little wierd, context is everything.

Avoid trenchcoats and wear your fedora with matching clothes. If you have on blue jeans and a T-shirt a fedora is not the right type of hat for you, if you were wearing pleated pants, a button up shirt, and a black vest a fedora is the right thing to wear. Social norms tend to avoid people wearing black trenchcoats, tan ones are okay when it it raining because detectives and spys wear tan trenchcoats in popular media, black ones are worn by shooters.

Wearing mismatching clothes is another issue because it makes it seem like you're a dirty person or somebody who doesn't care about themself if your clothes don't match.

Other than that go with what Alby was saying.

That old bit about "better to keep your mouth shut and let people guess you're stupid than to open your mouth and prove it" rings true. Oversharing is a big turn off.

A little story that might provide another perspective, there used to be a guy that would come in to the Starbucks I went to. He would always have a different hat (usually fedoras) and a long coat. The girl I was dating at the time and I would refer to him as "the douchebag" because of his douchey hats and how he would act. He'd sit down by himself but fairly near people then pull out three books, read maybe one or two pages, and start "spying" on people near him as though he were going to start a conversation. People would purposely avoid him and come to find later he had asked out nearly ever girl that worked at that Starbucks. Every once in a while he'd be with a big group of people, but he always sat on the outside ring of the group off to the side.

The big lesson is be self-aware. Be willing to be completely honest with yourself. Only say something if it serves a purpose and look at yourself in a mirror to see if you look ridiculous or not. Buy a new outfit and ask a sales person to help you pick it out, because even if you normally wouldn't wear those clothes, you'll be better off than you are now and you'll grow into it. Also make sure your hygiene is up to date (are your teeth clean and nails trimmed or is your hair greasy?). A little bit of personal attention goes a very long way.

I'm sorry for that post, but what means "creepy" and what the hell is a fedora??? please?

I get the impression that modern girls label ANY unwanted attention 'creepy' it is an easy way to get a guy to back off, there is certainly no simple repost to the creepy line. I am always wary of just approaching women point blank for this very reason. You have to have a reason to talk to them besides 'mmmm i bet your hair smells like lavender'. Prime examples, muscle in on the girl your mate is hitting on if he is obviously failing, you must judge this well though (I have never misjudged it) otherwise you can come off super creepy. Another example is gentle smack talking e.g. if they have a crap band T -shirt tell 'em what you think of the band, comment on the unhealthyness of their shopping basket etc. The least you will get is a nice smile or a jokey 'eff off!', women's smiles power a successful smoothey like me...

EDIT: NEVER EVER EVER wear Geek slogan t-shirts they are the antithesis of sex and are KRYPTONITE to a ladies libido. T-shirts with colourful pictures however are good, they are a simple stylish accent to an outfit requiring minimal effort.

Perkustin wrote:EDIT: NEVER EVER EVER wear Geek slogan t-shirts they are the antithesis of sex and are KRYPTONITE to a ladies libido. T-shirts with colourful pictures however are good, they are a simple stylish accent to an outfit requiring minimal effort.

I've made this point several times and completely agree. If you can't sleep because the clowns will eat you or the voices in your head say they don't like her, she's likely to dismiss you quickly.

Get yourself a tie-dye t-shirt. Nothing says relaxed and laid back more than tie-dye.

And a tie-dyed trench coat would make you the most laid back dude on earth.

rubiksnoob wrote:Get yourself a tie-dye t-shirt. Nothing says relaxed and laid back more than tie-dye.

And a tie-dyed trench coat would make you the most laid back dude on earth.

Or it would make him a stoner.

chowderhead13 wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Get yourself a tie-dye t-shirt. Nothing says relaxed and laid back more than tie-dye.

And a tie-dyed trench coat would make you the most laid back dude on earth.

Or it would make him a stoner.

See dictionary definition of "laid back."

If it was tye dyed and made of hemp then maybe. Do tye dyed trenchcoats exist? I need something more fun next time i go flashing..

rubiksnoob wrote:

chowderhead13 wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Get yourself a tie-dye t-shirt. Nothing says relaxed and laid back more than tie-dye.

And a tie-dyed trench coat would make you the most laid back dude on earth.

Or it would make him a stoner.

See dictionary definition of "laid back."

not to mention stoners are way to forgetful to stalk! hell, they're doing good to remember names, forget remembering addresses!

Perkustin wrote:If it was tye dyed and made of hemp then maybe. Do tye dyed trenchcoats exist? I need something more fun next time i go flashing..

Then replace the fedora with this. turned backwards of course, and your set:

I would avoid bright colours, unless you actually WANT to look like a children's TV presenter...