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Granted. They are now like waxing

I wish that AVG anti virus worked better

Granted. But the virus just ignores it after a while....

I wish I could have a power sword!!!

Granted, you have a power sword, a toy from he-man that is.

I wish that my son did not want to watch mighty machines videos.

Granted, he doesn't instead he loves to watch the powerpuff girls especially when they have an all day marathon of it going on.

I wish for christmas presents that people would like.

Granted, but they don't go to the right people, and they hate them.

I wish my sons played Warhammer 40k, so I could whup them all the time.

Granted, but instead of wumping them, they become so good they become the best tactitions of the 21st century.

I wish I had 3 Crisis suits (The minitures)

Granted. You have 3 Crisis suits. But you have no idea where you put them.

I wish for a nice warm weather front to move in after Christmas is over.

Granted too bad it is in cuba and not where you live.

I wish that T.V actually had some intelligent shows on instead of bloody Jersey Shore.

Granted, but they're SO intelligent that they're in binary.

I wish I had another cookie.

Granted, but I took it so now i have a cookie.

I wish that The Runaways had been a better movie.

Granted. now you can really live pearl harber.

i wish that the time wasent 00:47:07

Granted. Time has skipped ahead Two weeks since you last looked. The holidays are over, you dont remember anything. Hope you had fun.

I wish that the people who make good christmas cookies made them year round.

Granted, they do, but they all randomly die of heart attacks.

I wish I was Khorne.

Granted. But you get banished by The Emperor.

I wish I had a power fist!

Granted. You have a power fist. But you are not strong enough to lift it.and its stuck on your arm.

I wish Christmas cookies were free.

Granted. But you must pay 1 cent per breath you take.

I wish I could be strong enough to hold and use my power fist.

Granted. You are strong enough to use your powerfist. But now it won't fit.

I wish for more Christmas Cookies.

Granted. But you only have more Christmas Cookies than a Bum who has none so you only have Crumbs.

I wish I had a beautiful wife who wanted sex with me everyday, who loved Cuisine consisting of Bacon.

Granted. But your girlfriend is right put off by it.

I wish everyone has delicious Christmas Cookies.

Granted. But we throw them out when we discover that we can instead have cake!

I wish I had a power fist that fit AND i could carry.

Granted however it was blessed by nurgle and your starting to get wierd looks from your wife.

I wish for a good holiday with less bloody carols and more cool presents.

granted. their are no calols now and there is so many presents that they hold no value.

I wish for Idiot wars (lol, see Rak'noll rpg thingy)

Granted. But you become a casualty.
I wish to have a pet Termaguant (Tony the Termagaunt! woo! FTW!)

Granted. He eats you and your family.

I wish for christmas tree decoration in the shape of a tv

Granted, but it is made in China, and coated in toxic paint. You die of inhalation.

I wish for my phone to explode far away, and not kill/maim/wound/injure/harm me in any way...

Granted. You leave your phone in your car and it goes off there. Hope you had insurance.

I wish Oglaf was on the comics page in the newspapers.

Granted. But that's the ONLY comic.
I wish that I could kick&bully Grots around!

Granted. You are a boss grot. But you get kicked around by da boss orks.

I wish that snow would shovel itself.

Granted. now your house resembles a small mountian.

I wish for duck shaped clouds

Granted. But they attack you and bring you to the parrel universe.

I wish for waffles.