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Made in us
Crazed Spirit of the Defiler






Matt Ward: " Destroyer of Lore, Breaker of Games, Papa Smurf " 50points

Takes up an Elites slot.

Ws__Bs__S__T__W__I__A__Ld__Sv
..6.......5.......5.....5.....5.....6.....6.....10.....2++

Wargear: Battle-Hoodie of Macragge, Sword of the Primarchs, Multi-laser of Smurfication, Frag and Krak Grenades

Battle-Hoodie of Macragge: This blue hooded sweatshirt, blessed with the holy mark of the Ultramarines chapter, was purchased for Matt by Roboute Guilliman himself as a token of mutual respect from one warrior to another.

The Battle-Hoodie of Macragge confers on Matt a 2+ mattward save. In essence, this is a 2+ invulnerable save that can never be ignored or taken away, and can always be rerolled. The Battle-Hoodie of Macragge also grants Matt the Feel No Pain special rule.


Sword of the Primarchs: An ancient relic once wielded by the primarch Horus. When Horus was named Warmaster of the fledgling Imperium of Man, Horus presented this priceless sword to Roboute Guilliman as acknowledgement of Guilliman's clear superiority.

The Sword of the Primarchs always strikes first in close combat, and all attacks made with the sword are resolved at strength 10 and roll 2D6 for armour penetration. In addition, the Sword of the Primarchs ignores all armour and invulnerable saves, and always causes Instant Death, regardless of the enemy's toughness or the Eternal Warrior special rule.

Multi-laser of Smurfication: A gift to Matt from fellow bane of lore C.S. Goto, this compact-but-powerful weapon has ended the lives of countless Sisters of Battle. It is inscribed with the immortal words "this pleases me."

Range: 72".....Strength: 9 .....AP: 1 ..... Assault 10, Twin-Linked, Melta (at all ranges)


Special Rules:
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!: Matt Ward may only be taken as part of a Space Marine army using the Ultramarines rules and bearing the blue-and-gold livery of Ultramar's finest. He will never join any other army, even those of other Space Marine chapters (they're not Ultramarines, i.e. close, but still doing it wrong).

In game, any Ultramarines army that includes Matt Ward gains several important abilities:
All ranged weapons become twin-linked assault weapons, and all bolt-weapons gain the Rending ability.
All armour saves become mattward saves (as explained under the Battle-hoodie rules).
All close combat attacks ignore armour saves, and hit at double strength.

In addition to all this, at the end of the game, regardless of outcome, the Ultramarines may always claim victory. (Note: even though they cannot loose, you must still fight the battle. You're enemy should have known they can never beat the Ultramarines)

Daemons--5000
Death Guard --2000
Daemons--15000
Word Bearers--10000

Total investment in the Forces of Chaos: 38,000

 
   
Made in us
Manhunter






Little Rock AR

This will not end well.

Edit. Typos
Edit 2: more typos. Stupid phone keypad.







NB4 da lock

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2012/02/02 03:57:48


Proud to be Obliviously Blue since 2011!

 
   
Made in us
Dark Angels Librarian with Book of Secrets






why bother, I hear the whaaaaaaambulance approaching...
   
Made in gb
Servoarm Flailing Magos





SoloFalcon1138 wrote:why bother, I hear the whaaaaaaambulance approaching...

No just a spam of people saying things like that.
OP you forgot that it's balanced because he's not a scoring unit.
Maybe 5 point increase?

Ever thought 40k would be a lot better with bears?
Codex: Bears.
NOW WITH MR BIGGLES AND HIS AMAZING FLYING CONTRAPTION 
   
Made in ca
Cold-Blooded Saurus Warrior




The Great White North

Matt Ward has 5 wounds!

He most likely needs about 50. Since if anyone finally did get a hold of him in person they would stab him at least 30 times with a blunt butter knife.....

+ +=

+ = Big Lame Mat Ward Lovefest  
   
Made in us
Witch Hunter Undercover in a Cult







This fellow is clearly a poorly-thought-out joke. Moving right along.

Victoria est autem vita.

Stories at https://knightofthegrey.wordpress.com/
Game-related musings at https://thescenicdetour.wordpress.com/
Both updated irregularly 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut






Feel no pain should be "Feel no pain of the fans". Also, his leadership stat should be 11, and the sword should be +10 str, which can exceed the normal limit of 10. In addition, you may unlock matt ward as a troop choice and remove the unique limit if you take Draigo as your ultramarine HQ.
   
Made in ie
Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine





There's too much detail in your fluff to suit him.

Arguing with some people is like playing chess with a pigeon. You can play the best chess in the world, but at the end of the day the pigeon will still knock all the pieces off the board and then gak all over it. 
   
Made in gb
Mighty Brass Scorpion of Khorne






Dorset, UK

50 points is a bit too much IMO. Maybe 35?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/02 12:59:45


   
Made in gb
Nurgle Chosen Marine on a Palanquin




Dumbarton, Scotland




Seriously, let it go. Matt Ward is fine.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/02 13:05:35


Karyorhexxus' Sons of the Locust: 1000pts 
   
Made in us
Storm Trooper with Maglight




Chicago

Another week goes by, another "Matt Ward sucks" thread pops up.

Guardsmen, Fire!
...Feth yeah!
 
   
Made in us
Twisted Trueborn with Blaster




East Coast

So instead of taking it as a joke and laughing you wanna get on here and complain about someone else that is possibly complaining? Nice!

'When in deadly danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.'
-Parody of the Litany of Command,
popular among commissar cadets 
   
Made in us
Storm Trooper with Maglight




Chicago

I try my best man. The joke gets old after you hear it a few times though. By a few times, I mean whenever Matt Ward is mentioned, or so it seems.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/03 03:50:31


Guardsmen, Fire!
...Feth yeah!
 
   
Made in us
Twisted Trueborn with Blaster




East Coast

moom241 wrote:I try my best man. The joke gets old after you hear it a few times though. By a few times, I mean whenever Matt Ward is mentioned, or so it seems.

I know what youre saying. It's like beating a dead horse, he isnt going away so what's the point? I just dont see why people get pissy about it. If it bothers you then dont look at it. I thought it was kinda funny but i find alot of stuff funny. Im just easy goin i guess

'When in deadly danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.'
-Parody of the Litany of Command,
popular among commissar cadets 
   
Made in gb
Decrepit Dakkanaut






UK

In a similar vein, if someone's being bothered by something in turn bothers you, don't look at it.

I'm not trying to start a fight, but by stating someone was being hypocritical and that you didn't approve, and then telling them not to look if they don't like what they see, you are being a hypocrite.

Just like he didn't have to voice his distate at the OP, you didn't have to voice your own distaste at him.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/03 04:17:22


Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.

Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.

My deviantART Profile - Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Madness

"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation 
   
Made in us
Twisted Trueborn with Blaster




East Coast

Avatar 720 wrote:In a similar vein, if someone's being bothered by something in turn bothers you, don't look at it.

I'm not trying to start a fight, but by stating someone was being hypocritical and that you didn't approve, and then telling them not to look if they don't like what they see, you are being a hypocrite.

Just like he didn't have to voice his distate at the OP, you didn't have to voice your own distaste at him.

Well Dirty Herry theres your problem. It didnt bother me. Making general comments about the discomfort of others isnt complaining. Just asking a question more or less

'When in deadly danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.'
-Parody of the Litany of Command,
popular among commissar cadets 
   
Made in us
Crazed Spirit of the Defiler






The genesis of these rules came from me and a friend chatting about how we both missed the rules representing non-codex astartes chapters (i myself had an awesome Raven Gaurd list). We eventually got to the topic of Matt bringing Ultramarines to the fore. None of us hate Matt (too much ) for what he did, and I understand that the changes we've seen come largely at the behest of GW corporate. I thought up the fake rules for a larf and decided to post em.

Glad to see some people got some enjoyment out of this too. To the others who didnt like it, oh well, not everyone's sense of humor is the same (i HATE Dane cook for example, if this was one of his jokes, id probably be one of the guys bitching ) No use getting angry at the people who told me they didn't like it, i know i'm not angry. If i wanted mindless "lol"s and "great job"s i would have posted to Facebook.

Daemons--5000
Death Guard --2000
Daemons--15000
Word Bearers--10000

Total investment in the Forces of Chaos: 38,000

 
   
Made in us
Twisted Trueborn with Blaster




East Coast

greg0985 wrote:The genesis of these rules came from me and a friend chatting about how we both missed the rules representing non-codex astartes chapters (i myself had an awesome Raven Gaurd list). We eventually got to the topic of Matt bringing Ultramarines to the fore. None of us hate Matt (too much ) for what he did, and I understand that the changes we've seen come largely at the behest of GW corporate. I thought up the fake rules for a larf and decided to post em.

Glad to see some people got some enjoyment out of this too. To the others who didnt like it, oh well, not everyone's sense of humor is the same (i HATE Dane cook for example, if this was one of his jokes, id probably be one of the guys bitching ) No use getting angry at the people who told me they didn't like it, i know i'm not angry. If i wanted mindless "lol"s and "great job"s i would have posted to Facebook.

It made me lol, I was going to mention that he was missing preferred enemy. I didnt see anything allowing him to re roll to hit in CC

'When in deadly danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.'
-Parody of the Litany of Command,
popular among commissar cadets 
   
Made in ca
[DCM]
Acolyte of Goodwin






Sunny CoCal

Ya, we're not going to do this. This is beaten to death guys, and this thread is to troll ward, not to take any proposed rules seriously making it spam. Which of course violates Rule #2.

Locked.

   
 
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