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2009/03/24 05:17:02
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Dangerous Skeleton Captain
The Vegetable Plane
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halonachos wrote:I'm canadian.
Ein Windir wrote:I'm American.
Septic wrote:I'm English
Orkeosaurus wrote:
One of the funniest things I've seen on this thread so far, I actually laughed really hard when I saw this 
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Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009   : 
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2009/03/24 14:17:14
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Regular Dakkanaut
Currently Assigned To Bloodthirsters Catulan Reaver Squad
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I am still laughing
/bow @ Orkeosaurus U R DE FUNNY
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I am out of touch with it, last time I played we had squats, trikes, ratlings and robots....
Dreadnoughts had twin bolters mounted on the back of there hands, Guardsmen carried Lascannons and Heavy Bolters on their shoulders and sentinels has Assault cannons...
Ahhh so many fond memories, So many dead eldar.....
    
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/233624.page <--- Bloodthirster Needs You Sign Up
warpcrafter wrote:
Done it, it didn't end well, but it was really fun.
halonachos wrote:
One of my friends has said: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But unless life also gives you sugar and water, that lemonade is going to suck." |
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2009/03/24 22:12:07
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Calculating Commissar
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halonachos wrote:I'm canadian.
Ein Windir wrote:I'm American.
Septic wrote:I'm English
Orkeosaurus wrote:
That was awsome! I guess that would make me Macragien.
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2009/03/24 23:05:45
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Elite Tyranid Warrior
Laying siege to the Temple of Pecans.
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I'm actually a youth minister.
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2009/03/24 23:57:38
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Flashy Flashgitz
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aunshova wrote:I'm actually a youth minister.
Oh wow, our youth minister is cooler, and totally seems to have a way with kids. Here's his pic:
(1).jpg)
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The age of man is over; the time of the Ork has come. |
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2009/03/25 00:29:06
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Fanatic with Madcap Mushrooms
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A day in the life of the Cadian 214th!
The Imperial Guard regiment of the 214th is famous for it's tanks. The news has decided to ask these brave souls how they do their jobs during a clean-up operation.
Cameraman: So, what's it like being a tank commander?
Tank Commander Charlie: Well, it's pretty easy, you just gotta shoot at the targets.
Tank Spotter Kevin: Sir! We've got targets on the ridge.
Tank Commander Charlie: Blast your eyes man! Open Fire!
The Leman Russ lights up the hill, blowing up the entire face of the hill.
Imperial Vox: "Attention all units, we've lost squad three to artillery fire."
Camera Man: Didn't the briefing before battle confirm that the enemy had no artillery?
Tank Commander Charlie: You bet.
Camera Man: So you may have "misfired" then?
Tank Commander Charlie: Hell! What do you mean misfire? Did you not see all those guardsmen I shot???
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/03/25 00:47:00
Some people play to win, some people play for fun. Me? I play to kill toy soldiers.
DR:90S++GMB++IPwh40k206#+D++A++/hWD350R+++T(S)DM+
WHFB, AoS, 40k, WM/H, Starship Troopers Miniatures, FoW
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2009/03/25 00:58:59
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Killer Klaivex
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I founds it!
Boreale Addressing His Troops
SPESS MEHREENS, TODEH THE ENEMEH IS AT OUR DOAR! WE KNOW OUR DUTEH AND WE WILL DO EHT. WE FIGHT FOR OUR HORNOUR AS BLUHD REHVENS, AS SPESS MEHREENS, AND WE FIGHT IN THE NEHME OF THE EMPRA!
AND IF WE DIE THIS DEH WE DIE IN GLOARY. WE DIE HEAROES' DEFFS-BUT WE SHALL NORT DIE-NO IT IS THE ENEMEH WHO WILL TEHSTE DEFF AND DEFEAT! AS YOU KNOW...
MOAST OF OUR BATTLE BROTHERS ARE STEHTIONED IN SPESS, PRUHPEARED TO DEEP STRIKE! OUR PERIMETER HAS BEEN PRUHPEARED IN THE EVENT THEHT OUR ENEMEHS SHOULD BE SO BALD AND SO FOOLISH. WE HAVE PLEHCED NUMEROUS BEACONS, ALLOWING FOAR MULTIPLE, SIMULTEHNEOUS, AND DEVEHSTEHTING DEFENSIVE DEEP STRIKES.
THE CODECKS ASTARTEES NEHMES THIS MANEUVAH STEEL REHN. WE WILL DESCEND UPON THE FOE, WE WILL OVAHWHELM THEM - WE WILL LEAVE NONE ALIVE! MEANWHILE OUR GROUND FOARCES WILL ENSURE THE FULL DEFENSE OF OUR HEADKWARTERS.
WE ARE THE SPESS MEHREENS! WE ARE THE EMPRA'S FUREH!
How Boreale lost his 'voice'
Scene starts as Thule defeats Gorgutz in Dark Crusade. Gorgutz flees the Green Beach and is currently on his Ork ship. Indrick Borale is in his personal Thunderhawk with Techmarine brother Spasmius heading towards the Litany of Fury. Brother Spasmius had an unclear mind due to seeing a daemonette on imperial television, and hence drove Brother Captain Boreale into Gorgutz' ship, looking for Gabriel Angelos.
Nob- Isn't that 'umie un of 'ose wez got trash'd up by? Gorgutz- Nah, that 'umie looks dumb, and 'ez talks funny too. Must be un of 'ose Chaos Boyz we'z stomped on. Nob- What shall we do boss? Stomp on 'im? Gorgutz- Move aside ya git. 'ez mine.
Gorgutz smashes up Boreale, leaving him with no teeth and a even more damaged brain. Boreale stumbles back into his thunderhawk, Gorgutz gleefully picking up his teeth.
"Brother Spessmius... Where are weh?"
Brother Captain Boreale's Bad Day
Boreale made doubly sure his armour was perfectly polished. He checked his sword scabbard and pistol holster. He fitted his Purity Seals on and ensured that his breastplate decorations were positioned correctly. He held his helmet under his arms. As he turned from his massive planning table, he checked his reflection in one of his other suits of Power Armour. Tall, large, inspiring. Perfectly presented, every inch an Imperial Space Marine.
His hair was still very short, but Boreale had begun to accept that. Even after two hundred years, his hair (or lack therof) bothered him. But it wasn’t the worst thing. That would be his speech.
He had been fighting his speech for years. He was an inspirational speaker, able to turn his formidable speech-composition skills to demagoguery or fiery rhetoric. He always wrote and delivered his own speeches, and he strongly believed in the importance of words as an element of leadership. But he always struggled with the same thing:
Pronunciation. A more obdurate enemy than any he had ever faced.
He mouthed the words of his speech to himself, very softly, as he looked into his reflection on the chestplate of a Power Armour suit.
“Space Marines, today is the day…” the words came out very softly, but they were correct. Perhaps today WOULD be the day? Perhaps today he would get it right, and deliver the greatest speech of his entire illustrious career? He continued to practise: “today is the day we serve the…Empr-…Empera…Emperor. Tode-today…” He took a deep breath and started again:
“Today is the day we serve the Emperor by putting our lives, minds and souls in the line of duty in His name, and in service to the Imperium….”
He was doing well so far. Perhaps today would be the day indeed.
Confident with his initial success, Boreale straightened himself out to his full height of about nine feet. It had been only days since the attack on their Stronghold by the Sisters of Battle, where he had personally defeated Canoness Agna in single combat. The woman had charged in towards him, full of righteous fury, and screaming a challenge. Meeting her with his own blade and screaming his own battle cry (it unfortunately came out as FOR THE EMPRA, in the heat of battle), Boreale had overwhelmed her with superior speed and strength, and she had fallen on her sword rather than let him strike the killing blow.
Regrettable that it came to fighting the Empe..Emperor’s servants as such, but necessary. Necessary for the survival of the Imperium and mankind, necessary to please the Emperor and the Unknown Primarch. Necessary. No, essential!
Boreale gritted his jaw, and corrected his sword one last time. It was time.
He stepped out onto the podium where hundreds of Blood Ravens stood assembled silently and unmoving, waiting for his words. He felt confidence fill him the likes of which he had never felt. Today would indeed be the day.
Boreale drew a deep breath.
“BROTHERS!”
…
“TODEH WE SERVE THE EMPRA!”
Some things just never changed.
Boreale in Therapy
"Space marines. Suh-Pay-Seh Ma-Reens. Space Marines," Brother Tullus nodded, "Now, you try."
"Sp-Sp-SPESS-"
"No, no, ACE. AAAACE."
"EHSSS"
"Ace."
"Ace."
"Good. Now say 'Spay."
"Spay."
"Now say both of them."
"Spay. Ace."
"And all together now."
"Sp-sp-spess."
Brother Tullus delicately plucked the spectacles from the bridge of his nose while the other massaged his much aching head, "No, no, Emperor damn it..."
"I have failed..."
"No, no, no Boreale you-" Tullus leaned back in the chair, as it cried out in protest, trying in vain to think of something-
"THE EMPRAH!"
He fell back out of his chair in surprise at the sudden exclamation.
Brother-Captain Indrick Boreale was but one of many held at the Mental Reclamation Convent of Saint Gimpus, and really, Tullus reflected as he righted his chair, one of the better behaved ones.
For instance, one cell over...
"METAL BOXES!" Came muffled through the wall, shaking the diplomas bespangling it.
STEEL REHN
Steel Rehn
Some steh dry and others feel the pehn
Steel Rehn
Landing drop pods makehs infernahl din
Steel Rehn
Our eterhnel fureh strikes the hearts of mehn
Steel Rehn
Deep strikeh is our vehry own bent
Steel Rehn
No matteh how hard our enemeh’s try
Steel Rehn
They all see our reputashen is no lie
Steel Rehn
Forecast to be fallen yesterdeh
Steel Rehn
Yet it will likeleh also fall todeh
Steel Rehn
We fall to earth at enormouehs rates
Steel Rehn
The Empra’s foes cannot stop ourh haet
Steel Rehn
Our drop pods coveh the light of dehy
Steel Rehn
Our enemeh’s flee but there is no weyh
Steel Rehn
Fiereh blood rushing throuegh our vehns
Steel Rehn
Afteh we finish we prepare to fall back down agaihn
Steel Rehn
We are called dowehn by the radio
Steel Rehn
The purpose is to gain grouend controhl
Steel Rehn
We could not call it aneh otherh nayme
Steel Rehn
Everything else soundehd quite insayhn
Steel Rehn
We are preparing to fall onceh moreh now
Steel Rehn
The Empra will someday rewaredh us, somehow
Boreale stopped singing once he reached the end of what he had composed, and sat down silently, sitting his head in his hands. On paper, it was brilliant, a hymn that could be sung by billions of the Emperor’s servants across thousands of worlds in countless joyous anthems. But what was the point if he couldn’t sing it properly himself?
Boreale's Death
Boreale met his end when he accidentally bit his exceptionally long tongue with his superhuman strength. He usually left his mouth open for a while to allow his tongue to slide in,which was one of the many factors that affected his speech. However, he had overworked himself during his therapy and bit his tongue with his teeth, causing him to die of pain that even an Astarte could not endure.
Unsurprisingly, his death has now been confirmed in Dawn of War II. The Kaurava system campaign is remembered with shame and epic failure by the rest of the Blood Ravens.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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2009/03/25 02:47:05
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Purposeful Hammerhead Pilot
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2009/03/25 03:12:30
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Stubborn Dark Angels Veteran Sergeant
Ontario
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Awww, sooo cutes!!!
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DCDA:90-S++G+++MB++I+Pw40k98-D+++A+++/areWD007R++T(S)DM+ |
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2009/03/25 03:37:01
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Fixture of Dakka
drinking ale on the ground like russ intended
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That cocked die happens to me every so often.
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 Logan's Great Company Oh yeah kickin'  and not even bothering to take names.  2nd company  3rd company ravenguard  House Navaros Forge world Lucious & Titan legion void runners  314th pie guard  warboss 'ed krunchas waaaaaargh This thred needs more cow bell. Raised to acolyte of the children of the church of turtle pie by chaplain shrike 3/06/09 Help stop thread necro do not post in a thread more than a month old. "Dakkanaut" not "Dakkaite"
 Join the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie To become a member pm me or another member of the Church  |
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2009/03/25 07:07:39
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Slaanesh Chosen Marine Riding a Fiend
Sale, Manchester, England
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ive never had a cocked die!
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My blog here, here and here...
Beware the silent wolf, not all packs howl as they hunt. |
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2009/03/25 08:57:01
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Regular Dakkanaut
Currently Assigned To Bloodthirsters Catulan Reaver Squad
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I did ya see my girlfrind had this idea.... oh a cocked die
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I am out of touch with it, last time I played we had squats, trikes, ratlings and robots....
Dreadnoughts had twin bolters mounted on the back of there hands, Guardsmen carried Lascannons and Heavy Bolters on their shoulders and sentinels has Assault cannons...
Ahhh so many fond memories, So many dead eldar.....
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/233624.page <--- Bloodthirster Needs You Sign Up
warpcrafter wrote:
Done it, it didn't end well, but it was really fun.
halonachos wrote:
One of my friends has said: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But unless life also gives you sugar and water, that lemonade is going to suck." |
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2009/03/25 08:57:38
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Dominating Dominatrix
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ive never had a cocked die!
That's what she said.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/03/25 08:58:08
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2009/03/25 09:54:25
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Hooded Inquisitorial Interrogator
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.... lol i am spartacas rocks
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 i want to play and ride with you on your predator. i want to be friends with you
too bad alien scum
arrrghhhhhhhhh *cuts off head of space marine*
dat was fun friend....friend??? friend!!!!
humph your not my friend any more *walks off to the predator* now for some fun!
i play as  and  needs the new sm army codex!!!!! |
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2009/03/25 10:59:59
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Regular Dakkanaut
Currently Assigned To Bloodthirsters Catulan Reaver Squad
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That Lasgun demo cracks me up every time i read it
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I am out of touch with it, last time I played we had squats, trikes, ratlings and robots....
Dreadnoughts had twin bolters mounted on the back of there hands, Guardsmen carried Lascannons and Heavy Bolters on their shoulders and sentinels has Assault cannons...
Ahhh so many fond memories, So many dead eldar.....
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/233624.page <--- Bloodthirster Needs You Sign Up
warpcrafter wrote:
Done it, it didn't end well, but it was really fun.
halonachos wrote:
One of my friends has said: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But unless life also gives you sugar and water, that lemonade is going to suck." |
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2009/03/25 11:07:27
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Apprehensive Inquisitorial Apprentice
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2009/03/25 11:10:42
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Apprehensive Inquisitorial Apprentice
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2009/03/25 22:44:11
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Stubborn Dark Angels Veteran Sergeant
Ontario
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Had that one before.^
Just noticed the symbols on the top of the warpspiders helmuts, total hilarity guys lol. Wicked job. (go back and look at them if you missed it the first time)
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DCDA:90-S++G+++MB++I+Pw40k98-D+++A+++/areWD007R++T(S)DM+ |
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2009/03/26 00:46:02
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Fixture of Dakka
drinking ale on the ground like russ intended
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Logan's Great Company Oh yeah kickin' and not even bothering to take names. 2nd company 3rd company ravenguard House Navaros Forge world Lucious & Titan legion void runners 314th pie guard warboss 'ed krunchas waaaaaargh This thred needs more cow bell. Raised to acolyte of the children of the church of turtle pie by chaplain shrike 3/06/09 Help stop thread necro do not post in a thread more than a month old. "Dakkanaut" not "Dakkaite"
Join the Church of the Children of Turtle Pie To become a member pm me or another member of the Church |
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2009/03/26 05:12:48
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Dangerous Leadbelcher
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2009/03/26 09:00:15
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Regular Dakkanaut
Currently Assigned To Bloodthirsters Catulan Reaver Squad
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LOLZ cool lego 40k 
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I am out of touch with it, last time I played we had squats, trikes, ratlings and robots....
Dreadnoughts had twin bolters mounted on the back of there hands, Guardsmen carried Lascannons and Heavy Bolters on their shoulders and sentinels has Assault cannons...
Ahhh so many fond memories, So many dead eldar.....
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/233624.page <--- Bloodthirster Needs You Sign Up
warpcrafter wrote:
Done it, it didn't end well, but it was really fun.
halonachos wrote:
One of my friends has said: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But unless life also gives you sugar and water, that lemonade is going to suck." |
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2009/03/26 09:07:22
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Purposeful Hammerhead Pilot
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Lego 40K, the next plastic crack!!!
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2009/03/26 10:42:37
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Regular Dakkanaut
Currently Assigned To Bloodthirsters Catulan Reaver Squad
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ZandrisIV must be pretty happy, this thread now has 90332 views (ok i am responsible for 90225 of them lol)
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I am out of touch with it, last time I played we had squats, trikes, ratlings and robots....
Dreadnoughts had twin bolters mounted on the back of there hands, Guardsmen carried Lascannons and Heavy Bolters on their shoulders and sentinels has Assault cannons...
Ahhh so many fond memories, So many dead eldar.....
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/233624.page <--- Bloodthirster Needs You Sign Up
warpcrafter wrote:
Done it, it didn't end well, but it was really fun.
halonachos wrote:
One of my friends has said: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But unless life also gives you sugar and water, that lemonade is going to suck." |
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2009/03/26 21:26:11
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Screamin' Stormboy
Plantersville, Texas
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mussie76 wrote:ZandrisIV must be pretty happy, this thread now has 90332 views (ok i am responsible for 90225 of them lol)
Give us lurkers some credit ^.^ 
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2009/03/26 21:31:10
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Killer Klaivex
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Is no-one liking the Spess Mehrens fluff?
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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2009/03/26 23:24:02
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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Pyre Troll
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2009/03/27 02:34:33
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Stubborn Dark Angels Veteran Sergeant
Ontario
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Lulz on the Lego Dreads, that last one looked awsome. (and was probably to scale too..)
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DCDA:90-S++G+++MB++I+Pw40k98-D+++A+++/areWD007R++T(S)DM+ |
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2009/03/27 09:10:53
Subject: Re:40k Humour - Some randomness
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[MOD]
Decrepit Dakkanaut
Cozy cockpit of an Archer ARC-5S
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Fatum Iustum Stultorum
Fiat justitia ruat caelum
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2009/03/27 12:36:37
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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Mutilatin' Mad Dok
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Can someone enlarge the ork learning is fun? I could not read it even when I zoomed the view as much as possible.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/03/27 12:36:59
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2009/03/28 11:08:26
Subject: 40k Humour - Some randomness
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[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche
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かわいい!
メチャメチャかわい！
(translation)
可爱！
非常非常可爱！
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