40k Humour - Some randomness

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**Kid_Kyoto**

If you've not check it out I really like how this thread has gone:

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/115025.page

Ask Teh Spase Emporer

Dear Mr. Space Emperor

I'm a Black Templar y'know. This one time me and the lads got in a ruckus with these guys from the Black Legion and I'm pretty sure we won cept, y'know, in a fight stuff get's kind of confusing, with all the dust and smoke and yelling and baldness and blood. So like when we got home I counted and we had like, five more guys than when we started. So I looked over the lads and I saw one of them had a skull for a head so I was like CHAOS! and killed him cept turns out he was our Chaplain. So now I'm pretty sure some of these guys are Chaos Marines but I can't tell who. I mean we all have skulls and chains and capes and shout a lot. What should I do?

Confused Chapter Master

Dear Confused Chapter Master

The solution is to look how the suspect members are based. Members of a different army may be based differently even if their armour looks similar. Many have a pedestal effect that you may have noticed. sometimes this has a green rim, but sometimes a brown. All the brothers should have the same basing.

Dont worry about the Chaplain, plenty more where he came from.

the Space Emporer

**legoburner**

Just a reminder to those who have been posting non-wargaming related things - this is for funny wargaming stuff, not a dump of your unrelated motivational posters and other things. If you want to post those then make a new thread in the offtopic forum for them. Thanks!

**captain.gordino**

Dually noted.

**captain.gordino**

Dually noted.

**Septic**

ha dually noted and a double post, you can't write stuff like that

**lalabox**

It's time for more legohammer! (only one though)

**PanzerSmurf**

Looks to me like one whopper of a gaus blaster!

**Orkeosaurus**

Hey you Grotz,

My name iz Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka, an I hate all yoo weedy gitz. All uv you iz fat, stoopid, zoggers who spend evy secund uv der day lookin at squig-zoggin pikshures. Yoo iz everyfing weedy in da galaxy. Serussly, haz any uv yoo lot ever squished any oomies? I meen, I gess itz fun ta bee makin fun uv uvver gitz becuz yoo iz so weedy, but yoo lot takez it too a hole noo levul. Dis iz evun wors dan muckin about wiff tau.

Dun be scarred. Juzt hit me wiff yur best shotz. Im prity much da perffekt warboss. I wuz da Waaaghboss uv Armygedun, an Im da mozt proppa Goffz yoo lot eva seen. Wot planets did yoo lot attack, uver dan "paint litle boyz an preten too foight wiff dem"? I alzo got lotz uv kroozas, an hav a supa shooty shoota (I juzt blew up Grimgor; gak wuz SO teef). Yoo iz all zoggerz who shud juzt kil yooselves. Fanks fer lissenin.

Pik Reelated: Its me an my gitz

**Cheese Elemental**

That's not funny, that's an Orky monologue.

**BrookM**

Commanding General (Solar)
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a Marauder Destroyer
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God

General (regiment)
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a Lightning star fighter
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Talks with God

Commander (regiment)
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds
Is almost as powerful a Lightning star fighter
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if a special request is honoured

Colonel
Barely clears a small hut
Loses tug of war with a chimera
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God

Captain
Goes around buildings
Is run over by Chimeras
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Treads water
Talks to animals

Lieutenant
Runs into buildings
Recognizes Chimeras two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life jacket
Talks to walls

Vet Sergeant
Smashes tall buildings
Knocks Chimeras off their tracks
Chews bullets and spits them out
Walks in space
He is God

**Druidic**

That is just TOO funny! :-)

**lalabox**

BrookM wrote:
Captain
Goes around buildings
Is run over by Chimeras
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Treads water
Talks to animals

The one issue I'd take with this is that it includes Cpt. MacMillan and Price. Both of whom I've represented as models and both of whom could destroy entire armies using nothing but a Gillie suit and a knife.

Edit: Oh and MOAR legohammer:

**captain.gordino**

Wow, that's some of the best Legohammer I've ever seen. Amazing.

**Paul Atreides**

I wonder what kind of people put together legohammer. 40k fans with to much time on their hands? Their lego fan friends with to much time on their hands? The 40k fans' little brothers, or children with to much time on their hands?

**Druidic**

That bolter is just the BOSS!!! Anyone else ever see the Shuriken Pistol which used to be in the warhammer museum? nice!

**Ratbarf**

Lol wow, that bolter was das scheisse!

**floppy**

nice

**Anung Un Rama**

@Ratbarf, it's die scheisse, not das.

And that Lego Battlewagon is awesome.

**B30**

A few doodlings that I doodled ^^

**Anung Un Rama**

Nice work

**Ghost in the Darkness**

I loled

**Ketara**

Kid_Kyoto wrote:

かわいい!
メチャメチャかわい！

quote]

The top word of the Japanese there is 'cute', isn't it? My japanese classes are long behind me though, so I'm unsure...

**B30**

Ketara wrote:
Kid_Kyoto wrote:

かわいい!
メチャメチャかわい！

quote]

The top word of the Japanese there is 'cute', isn't it? My japanese classes are long behind me though, so I'm unsure...

Isn't that "Kawaii! Much much kawaii!" ("Kawaii" being "cute")

**Ratbarf**

@Ratbarf, it's die scheisse, not das.

eh, Grade 11 German Class. They didn't teach us that stuff lol.

**Scott-S6**

http://www.powergenitalia.com (real website, try it)

In our universe a supplier of electricity in Italy.

In the 40K universe they supply something completely different...

**The Dreadnote**

Oh come on, that's about as 40k-related as http://www.penisland.net

**jariksolo**

woot took me almost 5 hours but finally finished reading entire thread asome stuff

**Greenlight1107**

I have to say that these pics have my side hurtin just plain good-ole funny stuff. nice job all.

**Krellnus**

**huntho08**

KiMonarrez wrote:

Love this one.

Where did you get this one