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There's a lot of serious (and let's be honest, gakky) stuff going on in the world, so this thread is about a lighter topic... Tourism! We all have our own places of origin, and even within the same country there are different regions with various sub-cultures and customs. So if you were theoretically giving advice to tourists planning to visit your area, what would you say? This can be as serious or light-hearted as you like. I'll start things off...


San Diego - Beware the Seagulls

San Diego has some pretty nice beaches (side tip for those of you from the east coast: no matter how warm the weather is, know that the ocean is "basically freezing" as I heard it once put) and those beaches have a healthy population of scavengers, including seagulls. If you brought food, the seagulls know you have it. They know where you put it. And if you leave it unattended they WILL go after it (literally within 20-40 seconds) unless you have secured said food beyond their ability to retrieve. Putting things in a bag won't help --- gulls will readily go into a larger back to pull out a smaller back containing food and make off with it. Put stuff in a cooler or make sure there's always someone there to keep an eye on things.

Denver - there's a lot more cool stuff than just the weed. Seriously, our outdoors are amazing, Denver has a lot of cool museums and attractions, good food, and yes, we have weed too.

Houston. If you're coming here as a tourist you fethed up.

San Antonio. Alamo, River Walk, four other mission churches (Alamo was just one of them). Ask the locals about good TexMex and don't just go to any place on the River Walk-seriously! Also don't go there during the summer. You will burst into flames.

Austin. Be careful. While it is your average bay area city, some of the people are in fact Texans. Do not feth with them. You are encouraged however to feth with the Californians.
-wear a batman outfit when checking out the millions of bats leaving the bridge at night fall.
-don't go to 6th street. You will get puked on by a frat boy.
-if its summer a trip to Barton Springs Pool is required-its spring fed and cold. Go up top to where the co-eds are.
-you should go to Enchanged Rock. Its out of the way but literally awesome.

Afghanistan - Don't. Just don't.

Not my country but country I go often and found this place on my last trip. Chichibu in Japan.

It's small, not that famous but found it quite nice little place. Close to Tokyo so easy to get in and from. Has lots of beautifull mountains to hike in if you like that(funny fact. Japan has actually more forests than Finland. Seems to be my impression people don't connect Japan with greenery all that much). Friendly people(albeit I have zero idea what's the level of english they have...In the 5 days I was there most of english I heard was school kids greeting me in english. Not sure did many start conversations in english but if anybody did it switched to japanese quickly).

Has 34 Kannon temples(which form pilgrimage. Went there specifically to walk that pilgrimage) of which I can particularly recommend #20, #23, #30 and #31 though last 2 are bit harder to get into(especially last one as no train lead there. You either go by bus or do it like me and do 20km+ walk there but I doubt many are interested in that ).

Mitsumine shrine combines chance for beautiful mountain hike with particularly good looking shrine.

And if you are there on first week of may(though generally I would recommend avoiding that week as it's golden week so hotels are going to be tough to find...At least make reservations well in advance then. On flip side plane tickets seem to be cheap) you could try to see hana matsuri(flower festival) though not sure how easy that place is to get by public transport. I lucked out and host I was lodging at drove us in car there.

Nice little place if you are looking something besides classic tourist spots. Especially good if you are looking for mountain hiking.

Never ever go to Skegness.

Want to go fossil hunting? Like Cider? decent wine? Apple Cake? Head to the Jurassic coast, Dorset. West Bay is a good location to stay around with Lyme Regis and Charmouth just up the road.
Don't hack away at the cliff faces in search of old bones, Its a world heritage site and you will get rapped knuckles if you are spotted!

Los Angeles- Avoid going to Hollywood, especially Hollywood Blvd.. It smells of piss, is overrun with homeless people and street performers and really isn't the glamorous spot many think it is. Taking a studio tour in Burbank or even just going to Universal Studios would give you more of a "Hollywood" experience than Hollywood itself.

Washington D.C. - one of the best collections of museums in the world, and for the most part free of charge.

I love going to Bermuda. It's such a chill and relaxed island and a visual paradise. It's a quick flight from the mid-Atlantic, and pretty convenient that English is the first language.

San Francisco/Bay Area
1: BART smells and is infested with germs
2: Never get off at any stop that is oakland unless it is the Coliseum/Airport
3: Embarcadero ferry building has great food.
4: NEVER NEVER EVER EAT CEVICHE OUT THE BACK OF A TACO TRUCK

Russian road cafe, environs, remote places - Don't eat at any fastfood or eating joints!

Caucasus - NEVER sleep/camp in the floodplain of the dry river or on the shore. It may be flooded suddenly in seconds.

Turkey - avoid Russians! This country is popular with tourists who like to drink and bully.

China - in crowded places do not carry a backpack on your back, wear front. In markets don't touch goods if you don't want to buy it.

Korea - do not sit on the subway / public bus, if theres a few sitting place available. seats stricktly only for the elderly and pregnant

If you visit London for more than a day or two, buy an Oyster card and load it with cash for cheapest fares on bus and tube journeys.

Arches National Monument at Moab, Utah. Back packing, hiking, camping, biking (including dirt bikes and ATVs), etc. This place has some stunning views. Go in the Spring to have all the benefits of Summer without the oppressive heat.

Don't go looking for Lake Erie beach whistles thinking it's really a whistle.... it what up locals call these

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=beach%20whistle

Bournemouth - just stay by the coast and you'll have places to go to and stuff to do

Oh and don't come when it's flooding


Also may as well chuck in the two places I used to live:

Dubai - Don't get a hire car unless you're well and truly prepared for mental drivers. Always take taxis with red roofs. Buy a Nol Gold and Silver Card and use the Metro/trams/buses to cross the city. Buy a Gold Card as well as a Silver so you can jump into the Gold Passenger's only zone when the Metro arrives at key stops, like the Mall of the Emirates, and people flood the cars. Be aware that travelling during the month of Ramadam can be hectic; also avoid eating in public during this month during daylight hours if you can help it

Qatar - Come back in 15 years

G.A

Toronto is a great city for tourists, especially Americans because you'll get about 1.35 on the dollar.

We have a really big food scene, great new restaurants, awesome old ones, 2 Chinatowns, 2 little Italys, one of the biggest Greektowns outside of Greece, and at least 4 areas of urban renewal that are full of trendy places at every price level, and all of this is in the downtown core.

Not a lot going on attraction-wise, I mean we have a great aquarium which is new, hockey hall of fame, CN tower (2nd largest freestanding structure in the world, THANKS Dubai ) but honestly the tower isn't worth the admission.

Best time to come is if there's something else going on, like the Indi 500, Fan Expo (our Comicon) etc. Can't get tickets to your favorite MLB team's home game? Come see them play the Jays!

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
San Francisco/Bay Area
1: BART smells and is infested with germs
2: Never get off at any stop that is oakland unless it is the Coliseum/Airport
3: Embarcadero ferry building has great food.
4: NEVER NEVER EVER EAT CEVICHE OUT THE BACK OF A TACO TRUCK

I will never forget the first time I rode BART. It was orientation week, and my Dad wanted to take a father-son trip across the bay to Fishermen's Wharf and Ghiradelli. The people who got onto the train as it progressed were more and more...odd. Think Andy Sedaris does Mad Max. Some privates were very public. All leather was studded or chained, and there was a lot of leather. My dad was very quiet and we were both very uncomfortable. When we left the train, everyone else came with us and it took nearly an hour to get out of the crowd. Moral of the story: it's a good idea to find out if there are any big parades or marches planned before you get on the BART train.

Also, it is always a good idea to visit Oakland just to eat at Cafe Colucci. Yes, you will get shot at, but it is so worth it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
More Bay Area:

Downtown SF has an amazing nightlife. If you can get to apt he Castro District for Holloween or New Year's Eve, do it. If you want to see crazy, take the bus back after BART closes. The worst beat-down I've ever seen was a block away from the station, like a gang of guys holding onto a moving van to whale on some dude half hanging out the side door. Something insane like that happened every time I took that particular bus.

Also, ask after the local crazies. People will be happy to point them out. Happy Happy guy and Stoney are great conversationists, while the tree man is just entertaining. Sadly, Preacher Eddie is no longer with us.

Berkeley: Hang out on campus after 2 am and you will see some gak. For dining, try La Burrita and the Third World Food Court. Do not ever, ever go to People's Park after dark. Seriously, they once found a body there where the cause of death was "hit by train". The nearest tracks are 3 or 4 miles away. Do not eat or live at the I House. Do ask about the Moony House. Spend at least one night in Casa Zimbabwe.

Oakland: some of the best Dim Sum you will ever experience. Also, beautiful old houses, a beautiful lake, and Jack London Square. Do not make eye contact on the bus.

Philly: Great museums and attractions. Just wear green, and learn how to identify what the local calls a "jawn" ( it could be anything, its a generic noun; "Get me that jawn over there" could mean a lighter, a bag, a car, anything).

Lancaster and surrounding areas: watch out for the Amish bycicle gangs, and horse and buggy drivers, they suck at sharing the road.

Chicago-

All the museums are great and I highly suggest seeing at least one (The Shedd or MSI being my top two followed by Art Institute.

Navy Pier can be a bit tourist trappy but it is nice to see at least once

Go on the river architecture tour, you get to cruise around downtown look at cool buildings and hear the history behind them

Restaurants there are tons of them and a wide variety (honestly one of the perks living in or near chicago is the food) I have found this website to be of help when I want to find a place to eat

http://chicago.eater.com/maps/best-chicago-restaurants-38

If you can afford it go to a game at Wrigley (but with them winning this year it may be expensive or tough) and alternate is to go see the Sox as their ballpark food is out of their world and it is fairly cheap to get tickets.

There is also the skydeck in the Sears tower where you can go out 6 feet over downtown over 1300 feet

Also I would suggest the Pedway tours if you can as it takes you all over the city mostly underground and stopping off at iconic buildings.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Also, ask after the local crazies. People will be happy to point them out. Happy Happy guy and Stoney are great conversationists, while the tree man is just entertaining. Sadly, Preacher Eddie is no longer with us.

Bushman, who lived by pier 39, has sadly passed on too.

Pier 39 in SF is a tourist trap, but it is a good one. As a resident, I had many a fine day seeing the sights and eating overpriced cotton candy.

Shenzhen has some good waterways if you are into bird watching. Some of the best ones are reserved for the Party, but there are plenty of other options. Hong Kong is just across the bay and has wonderful British teas.

Oklahoma City - Don't come here, please, you'll just be disappointed.

Tokyo area (Japan in general) - Get a PASMO or SUICA card, you can use them for trains or busses. Trains and busses generally run very much on time but be prepared for crowded trains during commute times. Great place to visit and live. As for reasonable accommodations, look into guest houses; these amount to backpacker hotels or youth hostels in other countries but can also usually be used for long stays as well. You can buy food at the 100 yen shops or any convenience store to save money as well.

Belfast -

The city that build the Titanic, the memory of which still features strongly. The titanic quarter has a huge museum dedicated to the ship, and just across the way from that is the studios that make part of Game Of Thrones too. The new Disney studios are also currently under construction. We're trying to be the Hollywood of Europe.

The history here is a big draw, the titanic, the troubles etc. You'll find murals dedicated to the history of the city all over the place. I recommend taking the open top bus tours to see them. And don't forget the Ulster museum and the folk and transport museums too, if you like that kind of thing.

There's also a huge number of shops, restaurants, bars and nightclubs here. This makes it a popular destination for stag and hen weekends.

The best thing about Belfast though how is how small yet big it is. It's like if you took a proper full sized city and shrunk it down to the size of a very small town. You can walk around the whole city centre in about an hour, but if you wanted to do everything in it it would take you days.

 djones520 wrote:
Afghanistan - Don't. Just don't.

I remember an older couple I met queuing to a concert talking about a lovely holiday they had to Afghanistan last year. They'd gone back in the 70s (when it was rather progressive, good place for a picnic apparently) and 80s, and wanted to go back. Not as nice as it had been, but lots of picture opportunities.

The guy had commented that he was a war journalist though...

 Wyrmalla wrote:

 djones520 wrote:
Afghanistan - Don't. Just don't.

I remember an older couple I met queuing to a concert talking about a lovely holiday they had to Afghanistan last year. They'd gone back in the 70s (when it was rather progressive, good place for a picnic apparently) and 80s, and wanted to go back. Not as nice as it had been, but lots of picture opportunities.

The guy had commented that he was a war journalist though...

I want to go to Iraq and Afghanistan at some point since I know it can have some very pretty sights from time to time.

I get the feeling that I may have been born at the wrong time though to go there

I was planning a trip to Donbass just before the Russians invaded. :(

My Russian is much better now, even if I never went.

My friend went and has been back a few times since as her family has a house there, but well, its been a lot different. She has holidayed to warzones and dictatorships before (the later are typically quite nice to tourists), so the change may not have been as drastic for her.

Not to derail the thread, but South Africa. Another friend grew up there and went back with his wife. He was going to have dinner at a ranch in the outback there. They went in a rental car overnight. Having arrived the hosts were perplexed that they had no guards and hadn't waited till the day. It turned out all the other guests had been killed as they'd driven out with an armed truck following. To this day I question what type of people have dinner with reclusive Boer warlords (that's how I read the whole situation), but they do live in a townhouse...

So, South Africa: dinner dates out in the bush are not the same as a casual drive out in the Scottish highlands. The wild Haggis here at least can be dissuaded by a nudge of your car if they're blocking the road.

Avoid Henley-on-Thames during the last week of June and first week of July unless you are interested in the sport of rowing.

London: Don't pay to see anything unless there is something you really want to see. There are so many free things to do and see there is no need to do any of the paid for attractions.

Oxford: The university is not a campus. It is 44 colleges, and 150odd departments spread in different buildings across the city. Asking a local "where is the university" will elicit reactions from a puzzled look, or trying to extract details of which but if the university, to pointing towards the nearest college building, through to giving directions to Oxford Brooke's or the university central offices (a rather dull concrete office block).

 Kilkrazy wrote:
Avoid Henley-on-Thames during the last week of June and first week of July unless you are interested in the sport of rowing.

Or the sport of drinking pimms.

This...


http://www.msn.com/en-us/video/peopleandplaces/this-japanese-spa-lets-you-swim-in-a-pool-of-red-wine/vi-AAkpVeS?ocid=ASUDHP

There are lots of interesting things to do in the Hakone region.

A great outdoor sculpture museum.
Boating on Lake Ashi.
Mountain walking.
The "Hell's Valley" area with volcanic pools and black eggs boiled in them.
Cable car trips.
Many lovely lakeside hotels and hot spring spas.
Shinto shrines.
An historical customs station of the Edo period Tokaido road.
A Toy museum.
If you go via Odawara you can do a side trip to the castle there.

Just make sure if you drive to Hakone in winter to have snow chains in your car. I got trapped one year because the gakky hire car company didn't supply snow chains. On the plus side, this gave me the pleasure of watching my wife spend 15 minutes tearing several wide strips off the car company clerk, normally something of which I am on the receiving end.

England - "A hole in the wall" is not a place to eat/be molested. It's what we commonly call an ATM (or "cash point").
This causes confusion here pretty much constantly.

Los Angeles- Rent a car. You can't rely on public transit for anything. Also, don't come when it rains. It's pretty rare but it's people around here are pretty clueless in weather that isn't sunny.