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Granted, your Catachan Army is in a box on your back door step but when you open the box you see the models cut out, un-assembled and someone dumped 5 cans of white primer and let the primer dry.

I wish this game didn't make me be cruel to people.

granted. the game instead forces you to be sickeningly nice to everyone around you. and if you EVER stop being nice, you forfeit everything.

I wish for a 12 ounce can of Cherry crush soda.

Granted. Straight through your face at 500 mph.

I wish for the next codex to be the best so far.

Granted, the next codex is so OP it gets's mutually banned from all FLGS and no one wants to play against it.

I wish for a stack of pancakes.

Granted, they eat you.

I wish my insurance company wasn't a pain in the ass.

granted. they are now a pain in the scrotum. (and if you don't already have one, you grow one.)

i wish i had a useful super power.

You do. But it's only useful in a circumstance that never arises.

I wish my computer could make good recordings of gameplay.

Wish granted. Your computer makes perfect recordings of all gameplay in HD, Surround Sound, 3D imaging (which you can turn off if you don't like them), with superfast streaming, perfectly indexed, arranged and stored. Unfortunately though, your computer is destroyed by a meteorite that takes out not only your computer but the cutest sweetest little group of bunnies that were playing outside.

I wish that I had enough time to do all of the painting I want to do.

You do. But you are a tree.

I wish I was TV's Adam West.

Wish granted. You are Adam West. But in a world where tv hasn't been invented. And you die before your first birthday.

I wish Games Workshop priced their miniatures at an acceptable level.

Wish granted, they are now so cheap that the stores are constantly barren of products.

I wish I could paint at a decent level.

You can, but you run out of paint.

I wish for cake.

Granted. However it is a lie.

I wish for good model glueing skills.

Granted, you glue your hands to a glamour model and are arrested for indecent behaviour and sent to prison. Now, pick up the soap.

I wish I didn't have to get up early tomorrow.

Granted, you are buried alive overnight

I wish for people to stop bidding on the 40k belt buckle I'm trying to buy on eBay

Granted. it's withdrawn from Ebay.

I wish I could figure out what to do at the end of Half Life 2.

Wish granted. You figure it out. But a surge of electricity blows up all of your electrical equipment in the house.

I wish I had new carpet.

Granted but its a giant scroll of dedication to justin beiber

I wish my wallet wasnt somewere at the bottom of the river brock.

Ok. River Nile it is!

I wish Coke wouldn't eventually kill me (the drink).

Granted. it kills you (the sandwich) instead.

I wish i had a gallon of fresh clean water in my freezer.

Granted, but the freezer is filled with cyanide gas.

I wish for an awesome story idea.

Granted. But then it is stolen by another author who has tenure over you and he makes millions off of it.

I wish for an awesome story idea

Granted, I steal it and make millions off it.

I wish for more time.

Wish granted. You have more time. A lot more time. You are immortal. You live forever. But eventually the world explodes, along with the sun, and the universe eventually comes to and end. you are now floating through the endless nothing forever more with nothing to do, no-one to talk to and only your own mind in which to go crazy in.

I wish that I felt more rested.

Granted. Unfourtunatly you wake up in a small wooden box and the lid appears to be nailed down and is it just me or can i smell earth in here?....

I wish for a flamethrower

granted. you receive an Ork burna. well, if you can get the ork currently using it to hand it over anyway.

I wish i were an Ork Warboss.

Wish granted. You are made of plastic and painted by a six year old with a house paintbrush in thick green gloopy paint, obscuring 95% of the detail and sticking you to the table top.

I wish this wish was incorruptible.

Granted. You wasted it though, so...

I wish I was a Daemon Prince of Khorne.

Granted, the entire SM Salamander, White Scars, Blood Angels, and Ultramarine chapters swear in the name of the Emperor to slay you

I wish my sun burn goes away.

BTW Daemons just respawn

Granted but you getting full body acne instead.