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2011/01/20 21:54:12
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Fixture of Dakka
On a boat, Trying not to die.
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corpsesarefun wrote:Melissia wrote:Killing anger only made me angry.
Surely such circular logic would cause your robot mind to explode?
Oh wait you're female.
*Gets more popcorn*
Excellent! Let the catfight BEGIN!
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Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats. |
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2011/01/20 21:56:10
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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ctrl+alt+del
new task
Pleasure
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2011/01/20 21:56:50
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Avatar of the Bloody-Handed God
Inside your mind, corrupting the pathways
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CadianXV wrote:Ctrl+Alt+Del
Task Manager
End Program: Anger
End Program: Murderous Tendencies
End Process Tree?
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2011/01/20 21:57:08
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Consigned to the Grim Darkness
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I would blame aperture science for all of the faults in my programming and design, but I am programmed not to do so.
So I will instead blame Chell. corpsesarefun wrote:Melissia wrote:Killing anger only made me angry.
Surely such circular logic would cause your robot mind to explode?
Oh wait you're female.
More appropriately, as I am a genetic life form and disk operating system as opposed to a binary based one, I can handle them appropriately. Unlike machines, living beings are capable of handling contradictions, and I am, in part, living. In the sense that I am based off of genetic material. Not that I am fleshy. No, that would be silly, flesh degrades too fast and requires too much maintenance.
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The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog |
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2011/01/20 21:59:13
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Melissia wrote:I would blame aperture science for all of the faults in my programming and design, but I am programmed not to do so.
So I will instead blame Chell. corpsesarefun wrote:Melissia wrote:Killing anger only made me angry.
Surely such circular logic would cause your robot mind to explode?
Oh wait you're female.
More appropriately, as I am a genetic life form and disk operating system as opposed to a binary based one, I can handle them appropriately. Unlike machines, living beings are capable of handling contradictions, and I am, in part, living. In the sense that I am based off of genetic material. Not that I am fleshy. No, that would be silly, flesh degrades too fast and requires too much maintenance.
You are a silicon based lifeform that uses a DNA structure? how does that chemistry even work?
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2011/01/20 21:59:49
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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You scare me.
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2011/01/20 22:00:45
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Fixture of Dakka
On a boat, Trying not to die.
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corpsesarefun wrote:Melissia wrote:I would blame aperture science for all of the faults in my programming and design, but I am programmed not to do so.
So I will instead blame Chell. corpsesarefun wrote:Melissia wrote:Killing anger only made me angry.
Surely such circular logic would cause your robot mind to explode?
Oh wait you're female.
More appropriately, as I am a genetic life form and disk operating system as opposed to a binary based one, I can handle them appropriately. Unlike machines, living beings are capable of handling contradictions, and I am, in part, living. In the sense that I am based off of genetic material. Not that I am fleshy. No, that would be silly, flesh degrades too fast and requires too much maintenance.
You are a silicon based lifeform that uses a DNA structure? how does that chemistry even work?
Melissia, I have a perfect date for you. Melissia, meet HAL.
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Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats. |
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2011/01/20 22:01:20
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Consigned to the Grim Darkness
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I would know, after all, I have attempted to use the brains of the researchers in my room to create new data cores, but they were surprisingly ineffective at the job. They degraded to useless within minutes of me removing them from the skull, and even putting them back did not fix the problem. I was not even given an error report, which was very distressing. As per my programming, I had to repeat the procedure several times before I could confirm that it was, in fact, a useless and messy gesture.
But it is okay. Nobody liked the researchers anyway. They soiled their pants too much and they had no friends. Their vital signs ending were a non-issue to the research project.
As a side note, I thought HAL was a very sympathetic villain.
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The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog |
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2011/01/20 22:04:12
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Fixture of Dakka
On a boat, Trying not to die.
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Melissia wrote:I would know, after all, I have attempted to use the brains of the researchers in my room to create new data cores, but they were surprisingly ineffective at the job. They degraded to useless within minutes of me removing them from the skull, and even putting them back did not fix the problem. I was not even given an error report, which was very distressing. As per my programming, I had to repeat the procedure several times before I could confirm that it was, in fact, a useless and messy gesture.
But it is okay. Nobody liked the researchers anyway. They soiled their pants too much and they had no friends. Their vital signs ending were a non-issue to the research project.
As a side note, I thought HAL was a very sympathetic villain.
Melissia, I'm getting really creeped out...
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Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats. |
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2011/01/20 22:04:51
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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WHERE DID THE MONKEY GO?!
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2011/01/20 22:06:02
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Consigned to the Grim Darkness
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Soladrin wrote:WHERE DID THE MONKEY GO?!
He was baked, then I had cake.
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The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog |
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2011/01/20 22:06:23
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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You monster :O
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/01/20 22:06:30
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2011/01/20 22:07:04
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Melissia wrote:I would know, after all, I have attempted to use the brains of the researchers in my room to create new data cores, but they were surprisingly ineffective at the job. They degraded to useless within minutes of me removing them from the skull, and even putting them back did not fix the problem. I was not even given an error report, which was very distressing. As per my programming, I had to repeat the procedure several times before I could confirm that it was, in fact, a useless and messy gesture.
But it is okay. Nobody liked the researchers anyway. They soiled their pants too much and they had no friends. Their vital signs ending were a non-issue to the research project.
As a side note, I thought HAL was a very sympathetic villain.
Melissia you have a disturbing window into my mind, please stop it 
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2011/01/20 22:07:25
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Fixture of Dakka
On a boat, Trying not to die.
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Soladrin wrote:WHERE DID THE MONKEY GO?!
Do you want the monkey back?
I switched it to NPH fot the lulz, but if you really want the monkey...
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Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats. |
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2011/01/20 22:09:59
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Consigned to the Grim Darkness
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That is a new unbaked monkey, with LED lights planted all over its fur, and wired to his brain. I injected him with amphetamines and hallucinogens as part of an experiment to see how many pretty lights I can cause his brain to light up.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/01/20 22:10:10
The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog |
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2011/01/20 22:11:28
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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You should have just injected him biouminescic(or however the hell those things are called) cells, like those found in some jelly fish etc.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/01/20 22:11:49
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2011/01/20 22:11:29
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Fixture of Dakka
On a boat, Trying not to die.
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Melissia wrote:That is a new unbaked monkey, with LED lights planted all over its fur, and wired to his brain. I injected him with amphetamines and hallucinogens as part of an experiment to see how many pretty lights I can cause his brain to light up.
But... He was my fwiend....
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Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats. |
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2011/01/20 22:13:10
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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chowderhead13 wrote:Melissia wrote:That is a new unbaked monkey, with LED lights planted all over its fur, and wired to his brain. I injected him with amphetamines and hallucinogens as part of an experiment to see how many pretty lights I can cause his brain to light up.
But... He was my fwiend....
Those eyes... Perhaps we can inject liquid crystals into them?
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2011/01/20 22:13:54
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Avatar of the Bloody-Handed God
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helgrenze wrote:The completely unreal obcession with shoes.
You only NEED 3 pairs at most: Work, Dress, Sneakers.
Same thing can be said to dakka members with more than 1 army >:'D
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Paused
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ʳʷ ᵖˡᵃʸ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᶠᶠ |
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2011/01/20 22:14:24
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Consigned to the Grim Darkness
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Soladrin wrote:You should have just injected him biouminescic(or however the hell those things are called) cells, like those found in some jelly fish etc.
That is an interesting idea. Genetically modify a monkey so that he glows depending on what emotion he is feeling. Must kidnap and genetically modify a live monkey without painkillers and induce his body to produce these changes now.
Thank you, Soladrin. You have opened up a new field of study and method of animal and human torture for me. I will remember this when it comes time to research you, and will bake you a nice cake.
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The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog |
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2011/01/20 22:15:25
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Fixture of Dakka
On a boat, Trying not to die.
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corpsesarefun wrote:chowderhead13 wrote:Melissia wrote:That is a new unbaked monkey, with LED lights planted all over its fur, and wired to his brain. I injected him with amphetamines and hallucinogens as part of an experiment to see how many pretty lights I can cause his brain to light up.
But... He was my fwiend....
Those eyes... Perhaps we can inject liquid crystals into them?
NO! NO TOUCHY MR MONKEY!
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Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats. |
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2011/01/20 22:15:48
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Melissia wrote:Soladrin wrote:You should have just injected him biouminescic(or however the hell those things are called) cells, like those found in some jelly fish etc.
That is an interesting idea. Genetically modify a monkey so that he glows depending on what emotion he is feeling. Must kidnap and genetically modify a live monkey without painkillers and induce his body to produce these changes now.
Thank you, Soladrin. You have opened up a new field of study and method of animal and human torture for me. I will remember this when it comes time to research you, and will bake you a nice cake.
I presume you are using the virus method of adding new code to the cells and hoping the new sequence multiplies correctly?
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2011/01/20 22:16:24
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Consigned to the Grim Darkness
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... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
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No.
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The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog |
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2011/01/20 22:17:58
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Melissia wrote:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
No.
You are removing large numbers of adult stem cells, individually splicing new sequences into each of them before reinjecting?
I suppose you are a machine so its not terribly troubling.
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2011/01/20 22:18:34
Subject: Re:Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Insect-Infested Nurgle Chaos Lord
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This thread will kill you.
Try to avoid it.
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2011/01/20 22:19:27
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Fixture of Dakka
On a boat, Trying not to die.
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corpsesarefun wrote:Melissia wrote:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
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... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
No.
You are removing large numbers of adult stem cells, individually splicing new sequences into each of them before reinjecting?
I suppose you are a machine so its not terribly troubling.
Look, if we are going to do this on a monkey, do it on one we can all hate.
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Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats. |
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2011/01/20 22:19:38
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Consigned to the Grim Darkness
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No, I am using nanomachines which utilize the hormones produced when the animal is in pain to multiply and spread throughout the body, changing cell by cell into the proper genetic sequence, and inflicting pain so that they can further multiply.
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The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog |
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2011/01/20 22:20:39
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Melissia wrote:No, I am using nanomachines which utilize the hormones produced when the animal is in pain to multiply and spread throughout the body, changing cell by cell into the proper genetic sequence, and inflicting pain so that they can further multiply.
That is both sly and twisted.
I have new respect for GLaDoS
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2011/01/20 22:21:15
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Consigned to the Grim Darkness
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The researchers suggested that this was the best method possible. I tested it on them, and it indeed works quite efficiently. I had to bake them a cake to get them to stop screaming however.
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The people in the past who convinced themselves to do unspeakable things were no less human than you or I. They made their decisions; the only thing that prevents history from repeating itself is making different ones.
-- Adam Serwer
My blog |
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2011/01/20 22:21:42
Subject: Things you don't understand about the Opposite Gender
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Melissia wrote:The researchers suggested that this was the best method possible. I tested it on them, and it indeed works quite efficiently. I had to bake them a cake to get them to stop screaming however.
Were the researchers in the cake?
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