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ChaosDave wrote:

Deadshane1 wrote:Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

Naw, just switch to painting her instead.

lol I once tried to persuade the wife to dress up like a witch elf.

I think a lot of the time she is actually glad when I go do some painting it gives her time to do things on her own too like read or watch her Russian DVDs which aren't subtitled and I don't understand a word of, or study for her Chinese course. I get bored easily and restless if I have nothing to do and I end up pestering her and getting in her way.

Le Grognard wrote:Ah, women come and go, but there's always gaming and beer. Besides, there'll be another woman desperate enough to go out with me anyways.

*Locks the door* Amen to that brother! *leaves thread and unlocks the door*

malfred wrote:

Osbad wrote:While we are on the subject of marriage guidance...

Something that occurred to me a few years back is that a lot of my painting time is sometimes "cave-time" (read "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" if you want to understand what that means).

Oh smite! Smite!

(Yeah, I use the book to defend my cave-time, too, but still!)

The secret's in not overusing the ruse...

Deadshane1 wrote:

sonofruss wrote: If a person can't take a joke they are on the wrong planet where nature or god put a duck bill on a platypus and she did get the joke look at my profile.

Justify it however you like.

Keep "joking" and expect more comments regarding how "classy" you are....or arent.

...you've been warned.

Roze wrote:Ha ha you guys are funny!
i didnt comment because i knew it was a joke i don't wanna be one of the "guys" i lack the necessary appendage, and on theme i wish to change my statement and introudce the talking models to the BF i'm sure he would go running then i wouldn't feel bad chosing either

The question if not wife/GF or gaming.

It's more who is being the #@#$ head. If you spend all the money on gaming and you do it obssessively and it makes you all wacked out then you are inflicting a serious problem to the relationship and she is trying to control that problem rather than just assume it's hopeless and leave. She might have a point and she might be metaphorically asking an alchoholic to stop drinking because it's obvious that drinking has become a very bad thing.

On the other hand if it's more a case of " Ken will damned well wear what Barbie tells him to wear and he'd better smile real wide the whole time because Barbie is a $#%ing queen and by the way all his friends are creepy and he needs to stop talking to them and get a second job to pay for the summer house with a wine cellar that they can't afford so she can host cigar parties with a live jazz combo" then your significant other doesn't view you as a person but more as a disobedient disappointing vending-machine/fashion accessory. See she bought you cheap as a 'diamond in the rough 'but, no matter how much she polishes you, you refuse to sparkle enough to justify her "kindness". You ought to be extremely grateful that she ever even looked at a drooling slug like you and developed even the slightest faith in your potential! Why in the old days the women would lock a loser-nobody like you out of the cave at night so the giant prehistoric hyenas could clean them up.

Anyway I've seen conflicts like this happen for both reasons. Gaming nuts who pretty much take a ten year long leak on the person who loves them because they are trapped in a pitiful "me me me" manchild existence are sad. So are people who knowingly marry someone with a nerdy hobby on the unrealistic expectation that after saying a vow their partner is obliged to submit to 100% brainwashing and makeovers on demand for life or until she gets bored.

The problem is that an awful lot of people in this world are heartless, myopic, spritually damaged, egomanicas, who live in a dreamworld and get snarly anything that challenges that dreamworld. If you get lonely and then don't pay some honest attention to the actual character of the person you are pairing off with before it's too late....you might get stuck with one. Then no one is happy.

You are supposed to share your time, life, and resources with some one else. You are not supposed to kidnap them to dwell as a near captive in 'your' world surrounded by 'your' choices, where they are perpetually kept away from the things they like. (Like every other wednesday night spent with friends playing games, or a house without unpainted hobby #@#$ cluttering every square foot all the time, or a life without huge looming credit card debt, or long nights that are NOT spent alone waiting for someone to drag in at 2:00am and go right to bed because the dice were hot and tiem got away from them.) The key is to know how your partner feels, CARE about how they feel, and be considerate without ever volunteering to be the third class roll-over lackey of some self appointed faux-royalty idiot in the process.

"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

BigToof wrote:

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

4+ Cover save for trying to paint and backhand simultaneously.

i had a jealous girlfriend who asked me to not game so much (one night a week). i said that i have two choices to spend my time away from her:

1) spend time with a bunch of overweight guys and friends at a games store with rarely a woman in sight while playing with toy soldiers or

2) spend time with single friends at a bar who are flirting with plenty of drunk women within arm's reach.


Needless to say I got alot of playtime in with my guardsmen and orks for the rest of that relationship!

On the other hand if it's more a case of " Ken will damned well wear what Barbie tells him to wear and he'd better smile real wide the whole time because Barbie is a $#%ing queen and by the way all his friends are creepy and he needs to stop talking to them and get a second job to pay for the summer house with a wine cellar that they can't afford so she can host cigar parties with a live jazz combo" then your significant other doesn't view you as a person but more as a disobedient disappointing vending-machine/fashion accessory. See she bought you cheap as a 'diamond in the rough 'but, no matter how much she polishes you, you refuse to sparkle enough to justify her "kindness". You ought to be extremely grateful that she ever even looked at a drooling slug like you and developed even the slightest faith in your potential! Why in the old days the women would lock a loser-nobody like you out of the cave at night so the giant prehistoric hyenas could clean them up.

Reading that made me want to murder people.

Gaming + Porn is a Hell of a Lot cheaper than a GF and twice as rewarding.

Keep the gaming ;p

Waaaaaaagh! wrote:Gaming + Porn is a Hell of a Lot cheaper than a GF and twice as rewarding.

Keep the gaming ;p

Yikes, frightening. Cheaper, maybe, rewarding...

Says the man who won Free P.A.C.K

Gaming is MUCH more rewarding

Ha ha! Now that's good. Which bag is better you ask?

Deadshane1 wrote:Do you put down your paintbrush to help her pack.....

....or do you tell her she's blocking the lightsource and you're trying to get the purity seals right?

Well, the first one.

War gaming is eventually more durable than a relationship.

When the wife and I hooked up, I made it clear that I had hobbies that I would not be giving up. I might cut back a little, but they would be staying. If she didn't like it, or couldn't accept that, then we wouldn't be staying together.

She said I was right.

I told her I would have my gaming days (so many per month) and she agreed to that, too.

I was showing her some stuff in a local store and she picked up the WHFB "fortified manorhouse" box - "can you build and paint this for me?" she askes me.

I'm holding an Imperial sector box in my hands at this point (which I would really like to have, but I only have enough money on me for one or the other - mine or hers). I tell her so.

"Put them both on my card, then" is her reply.

This is why I love my wife. She doesn't diss my hobby. She accepts it, and lets me have my "geek time". Those guys who have the hideos shrews who make them give up their hobbies get nothing from me but my pity. That's no way to live.

It is all about compromise, though.

LET THE WIFE WIN. WOOKIEES ONLY RIP YOUR ARMS OFF.

malfred wrote:

BigToof wrote:

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

4+ Cover save for trying to paint and backhand simultaneously.

It only takes a moment to wash the paintbrush and close the paint pot lid, then it's time for "The beatings will continue until morale improves!!!"

warpcrafter wrote:

malfred wrote:

BigToof wrote:

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

4+ Cover save for trying to paint and backhand simultaneously.

It only takes a moment to wash the paintbrush and close the paint pot lid, then it's time for "The beatings will continue until morale improves!!!"

hmmm... save the brush or bring the beat down? how about you poke the kid in the eye with the paintbrush? no need for pathetic blood red.....

and im sure if your gona beat the kid itll only take a minute and the paint wont have fully dryed by then, so you could paint, beat then paint again all in one action!!

I have found that if your partner starts complaining that you are spending to much time gaming/painting rather than fight her on it give in and become as clingy as possible. You have to make them want to have time away from you. Once they get tired of you being around constantly they may actually push you to game more often.

I don't understand this thread...what the hell is she doing out of the damn kitchen!!

Nope. We're all warhamsters who are ugly, have no self-confidence, drink mt. dew and eat cheetos all the time. We don't do anything physically active. We go out on friday nights to bars in an attempt to woo the ladies but in reality we all fail so horribly that we just get lucky sometimes and the hot girl's ugly friend pities us.

This is why we all post during the weekend.

IRPurple wrote:

warpcrafter wrote:

malfred wrote:

BigToof wrote:

malfred wrote:"Daddy, stop painting toys. I'm hungry!"

Oh it's backhanding time!

4+ Cover save for trying to paint and backhand simultaneously.

It only takes a moment to wash the paintbrush and close the paint pot lid, then it's time for "The beatings will continue until morale improves!!!"

hmmm... save the brush or bring the beat down? how about you poke the kid in the eye with the paintbrush? no need for pathetic blood red.....

and im sure if your gona beat the kid itll only take a minute and the paint wont have fully dryed by then, so you could paint, beat then paint again all in one action!!

GW's hand-flamer style spray gun ignores cover saves.

Quite an interesting thread.

I agree with the sentiment that there's 1 of 2 things wrong: Either you are neglecting the relationship or she has unrealistic expectations and isn't willing to accept you for who you are.

Luckily I haven't run into this problem yet. My girlfriend is fine with the hobby, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I eased her into it over a course of several years.

I've never had a girlfriend who had a problem with gaming. Some think it's interesting, some think it's cute, some didn't really care but liked that it made buying gifts a no brainer. I wouldn't be interested in a girl who wanted me to stop: I play maybe once every two weeks, and I don't become antisocial when painting, I'm a chatterbox.

- Human wrote:Quite an interesting thread.

I agree with the sentiment that there's 1 of 2 things wrong: Either you are neglecting the relationship or she has unrealistic expectations and isn't willing to accept you for who you are.

Luckily I haven't run into this problem yet. My girlfriend is fine with the hobby, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I eased her into it over a course of several years.

I agree, as well. Chances are, one of those two issues has come to a head, and it's up to each of you to decide how to face it.

Being honest with each other is the key - are you really being too obsessive with the gaming/minis? Or is she/he really being too obsessive about the relationship? Nobody want's to be in the wrong, and it's natural for anyone to become defensive about something they love.

I gamed for a good 20 years or so before having a girlfriend who was so possessive that she did everything she could to get me to quit gaming, including the 'ultimatum'. So, I buckled and got rid of gaming for a couple years - and to this day I still regret doing it. I should have realized what was wrong, and tried to work through it with her, instead of caving in and selling off all my stuff (which I regret more than anything - had some damned nice Eldar and Nids).

Not surprisingly, that relationship didn't work out.

My wife now, completely supports what I do - even to the point of trying her hand at painting and stuff. The healthiness of our relationship encourages me to WANT to set aside the gaming to make plenty of time for her. Gaming isn't a 'refuge' from the relationship, like it becomes for some folks. Gaming is an enjoyable past-time, and that's all it is.

-Mort

chromedog wrote:When the wife and I hooked up, I made it clear that I had hobbies that I would not be giving up. I might cut back a little, but they would be staying. If she didn't like it, or couldn't accept that, then we wouldn't be staying together.

She said I was right.

I told her I would have my gaming days (so many per month) and she agreed to that, too.

I was showing her some stuff in a local store and she picked up the WHFB "fortified manorhouse" box - "can you build and paint this for me?" she askes me.

I'm holding an Imperial sector box in my hands at this point (which I would really like to have, but I only have enough money on me for one or the other - mine or hers). I tell her so.

"Put them both on my card, then" is her reply.

This is why I love my wife. She doesn't diss my hobby. She accepts it, and lets me have my "geek time". Those guys who have the hideos shrews who make them give up their hobbies get nothing from me but my pity. That's no way to live.

It is all about compromise, though.

LET THE WIFE WIN. WOOKIEES ONLY RIP YOUR ARMS OFF.

True words. She Who Must Be Obeyed even helped me run a tournament once.

Gitzbitah wrote:An evening with an appreciative wife is far more enjoyable than even the best night of gaming.

I disagree with this. If I want to try something new, lets say trying a two on one battle, all I need to do is type up a new army list and paint a few new miniatures.

Trying to get the SO to try something new is like trying to tie your shoes with snakes for laces.

I say the next time this ultimatum comes up, tell her that if she's tired of your miniatures, you're tired of her PMS. If she gives that up, you'll give up your games.

My better half absolutely hates gaming (she did paint a space marine once, to alleviate some boredom) and I asked her one day "do you think I'm nerdy/pathetic (insert adjective most appropriate to local slang of similar meaning) for painting/playing warhammer?". Her reply was "Yes, but that's one of the reasons I like you, because your different and don't feel the need to fit in."

Needless to say she is very tolerant of my hobby, and with minimal prompting, will often buy me kits for birthdays/xmas. So I think I may be set for life

I think, however, if I spent every penny I earned on my armies and did nothing towards the relationship, choosing to spend my time painting/gaming instead she may change her tune.

But there is absolutely no reason why in a worthwhile relationship one partner should have to give up a hobby based on the opinion of the other (unless there is a seriously valid reason e.g. one partner is fatally allergic to expanded polystyrene or something)

just my two (lowest denomination of your local currency)

Let's see.

My fiancee took a more practical approach to the whole "gaming" hobby.

I roleplay on the weekends with my friends [d&d, star wars, etc.]. So, she jumped head first into roleplay and is now the driving force in getting us off our lazy asses to roleplay.

Then, there's 40k. She got interested, painted a SM I had lying around and then my friend gave her about 1100pts of Eldar after she expressed an interest. Now, she's working on a Sisters o' Battle army.

Of course, none of this ever happened with the two previous chicks before her. Luckily, she's just as wierd as I am.

My wife enjoys buying stuff for my gaming. When I get home in the tail end of March, I will have a tyranid assault brood, a Emperor's fist tank company, and 3 stormlods waiting for me.

She says that gaming on it's worst day is cheaper than car racing, golf, boats, etc... Also, if she can't get ahold of me on my cell, I'm either in the garage or at my FLGS.