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When I get ashamed of my hobby, I stop being ashamed, and be awesome instead... True story !

I am not.

It's pathetic to live a life where you allow the blind opinions of others to affect your over all mental health in what you do.

It's fine if people look down their nose at you, that's their right, but the issue is when you allow that action to make you feel bad. I look down my nose at people who worship sports or religion, but I don't force my opinion on them, unlike they, who do force their opinions on me.

Some of the guys on here are using some pretty strong language to demonstrate how "together" they are with their hobbies, gents, I feel happy for you, but you have to understand, you're coming across as a gakker.

Having issues declaring or admitting you are part of this hobby is not stupid, pathetic, weak, or any of the other derogatory words you wish to use in order to beat your internet chests.

What you seem to be forgetting, is that we all wear masks, we do it when we want to get that job we're interviewing for, we do it when we want to get that hot girl we've met to take it to the next level, and you can name a 100 other times when it may be beneficial to hold off certain aspects of yourself to achieve a goal.

The guys here who make the statement that they don't give a rats ass about public opinion are either liars, or so far gone that there is nothing more that they expect to "get" from society.

In either case, more power to you, but this thread just wasn't designed for you to take part in, why? because you have nothing to add but vitriol and to further push those who are "struggling" with their split desire to enjoy the hobby but to also stand aside from it.

Just because you don't understand the "thing behind the curtain" that creates this split desire doesn't make it wrong.

Delephont wrote:Some of the guys on here are using some pretty strong language to demonstrate how "together" they are with their hobbies, gents, I feel happy for you, but you have to understand, you're coming across as a gakker.

Having issues declaring or admitting you are part of this hobby is not stupid, pathetic, weak, or any of the other derogatory words you wish to use in order to beat your internet chests.

What you seem to be forgetting, is that we all wear masks, we do it when we want to get that job we're interviewing for, we do it when we want to get that hot girl we've met to take it to the next level, and you can name a 100 other times when it may be beneficial to hold off certain aspects of yourself to achieve a goal.

The guys here who make the statement that they don't give a rats ass about public opinion are either liars, or so far gone that there is nothing more that they expect to "get" from society.

In either case, more power to you, but this thread just wasn't designed for you to take part in, why? because you have nothing to add but vitriol and to further push those who are "struggling" with their split desire to enjoy the hobby but to also stand aside from it.

Just because you don't understand the "thing behind the curtain" that creates this split desire doesn't make it wrong.

To provide some perspective I work as an executive in Sales and Marketing. Guys in my line love to " throw their d*cks on the table and measure" its childish etc however I will put on my "mask" to get through the meeting, golf games, drinks or what have you to support my family. These days I cant apply for anything or go into a big presentation without opposite parties doing as much background prep on me as they can. Honestly I do the same. As it provides a great deal of insight. Thus I make sure that my digital footprints are small and I use game names at tournaments. Do I like it? No. Do I enjoy the political aspects of my job? Heck no. Is it life. yes. Oh more often than not the jokers I interact with are far worse as people than anyone I have met gaming.

Or put a different way. We do what we have to in 9 to 5 and then we have the freedom to do what we want afterwards. If someone in my organization plays 40k, shares it with colleagues.. power to em! It is all about choices.

Well, if it comes up in conversation, then great, i get stuck right in!

If someone asks me directly, then i go with it, tell them experiances, good times etc.

But i dont say anything about it if im not asked, mainly because i dont want to come across as self obsessed.


I Think the social stigma comes from their misinformed knowledge of the hobby. 'Silly little figures' some will say. My reply is 'No, silly little figures you spend grueling hours building, modelling and painting to make them look perfect. Followed by as many games as you like of a really well thought out table top battle game, which (ideally) contains alot of humor, beer and general laughs'. When i ask them what they do in their spare time, they grumble at me Call of Duty. At least our hobby is skillful.

I'm almost aggressively secure in my hobby, I'll be damned if any one gets to call me any less macho just because I play with toy soldiers instead of watching football after two frelling combat tours in Iraq.
Yes I play DnD and magic as well desk jockey what of it?

I kinda had this attitude about it when I was teenager, though, in retrospect, that came after the boost of confidence I got from picking up full contact martial arts. Prior to that I didn't talk to anyone about much anything.

I also have a similar attitude regarding my faith a s a druidic pagan...I'm not exactly in your face about it, but no one I work with is under any illusion regarding my beliefs either.

Having been at both side of the spectrum in my life I understand the social pressures, I really do. Not everyone has the counter argument of dodging sniper fire and fist fights with drunk rangers I get that (and honestly at the police department where I work half my co-workers have been though the same stuff, so it doesn't hold any water with them anyway lol at the end of the day I'm still the department geek). At the end of the day though as long as you proclaim your hobbies with confidence and shrug off the initial ribbing most folks are just curious.

Personally, I approach Warhammer from an artistic point of few.

I value the art and passion behind all those fantastic worlds, great models
and last but not least the battles you play.
That's also how I present my hobby to other people when I feel like talking about it for some reason.
Nobody would ever dare to laugh at you when you present them a great painting of yours,
or tell them that you won a chess turnament.

That this is also the reason why I dislike quite a couple of Warhammer players out there,
I have to admit that, which disregard those aspects of the hobby.
At least once they've reached a certain age.

Sure the idea of power appeals to me as well (as much as it does to any other person)
but that aspect should never go ahead of the other values, which fantasy worlds offer to us.

Delephont wrote:
The guys here who make the statement that they don't give a rats ass about public opinion are either liars, or so far gone that there is nothing more that they expect to "get" from society.

Or we're nice rounded personalities with enough confidence and varied interests to flourish... I'm a happily married man, with a management job good social circle and still regularly get female attention. Your sweeping generalizations are more than a mite hostile sounding.

Delephont wrote:
In either case, more power to you, but this thread just wasn't designed for you to take part in, why? because you have nothing to add but vitriol and to further push those who are "struggling" with their split desire to enjoy the hobby but to also stand aside from it.

Whilst I can understand and empathize with younger players/hobbyists finding the hobby embarrassing and carrying around some shame about it, didn't you mention on dakka that you're in your 30s? Because if you're that old and still hung up about what you do and hide it away... well then I just hope you'll relax and gain some more self confidence soon, because it's the self confidence that'll attract girls, make people think you're cool and let you enjoy all sides of your life, rather than hiding your nerd gak under the stairs when anyone 'not in the firm' comes to visit.

I remember being about 16 years old and hating going into a shop with my dad, because my dad would sing to himself (eagles, dire straits etc) and I would become self conscious and embarrassed about it, he didn't give a flying feth about it and when I grumbled that people were staring at him, he'd shrug and say 'well, they're probably jealous of my amazing singing voice' and carry on singing Hotel California whilst studying the freshness of tomatoes.

I was singing a prodigy song to myself the other day in the supermarket, I realized I was doing it, first stopped and then laughed, then enjoyed the sensation of really not giving a gak what anyone thought of me doing it.

What makes wargaming a 'shameful' thing is when it is hidden away and then uncovered like a dirty secret, because those who don't know what it is end up assuming it's far weirder than it actually is. The person doing it treating it as a thing to be ashamed off is the one creating a self fulfilling prophecy, the one who shrugs and smiles and says 'yes I paint and game with wargames miniatures, now I think it's your round?' won't create that same aura of creepiness around something that's really not anything out of the 'ordinary'...

NoArmorSave wrote:

Delephont wrote:Ok, so there will always be those people who stand tall against society and hail from the roof tops the things they love to do most in their spare time......

However, I would hasten to admit, I'm not one of them. Call me a coward if you will, however, it's plain to see that anything involving grown men and "action figures" be they metal/plastic/resin miniatures right up to full blown 1/6th scale action figures does equal social slow for many of the denizens of this world. I draw your attention to 40yr old virgin for proof on how society in general views us.

The question is, why do some of us feel this way? Why do we deny what we obviously enjoy doing? Is it because deep down inside we realise on some level that we are doing is "wrong"......oh I'm not talking kiddy fiddler "wrong", but maybe "sitting in your basement watching porn" wrong?

Do most of you guys find it easier to deny your hobby or do you think you might actually feel better letting people know this facet of your life?

Dude - you have the wrong attitude. It really is amazing just how cool Warhammer 40,000 is. I mean, it is freaking awesome. You should never be ashamed of playing one of the most awesome,
engaging hobbies out there.

Not everyone that plays it is what you would call a "geek". I am a cool, normal person that plays it. Let's see:

1 - I drive a Mercedes
2 - I wear Oakley sunglasses and clothing
3 - I hold 3 different blackbelts in martial arts, and used to compete in MMA events
4 - I used to Wakeboard a lot
5 - I used to play professional level Paintball
6 - I own an Old English Bulldog
7 - I used to be a bartender, with a large clientele
8 - I have no problem with the opposite sex
9 - I believe I can get anyone excited about battling it out on the tables of the 41st millenium.

This is either the funniest post ever or the saddest...

MakersHitstheMark wrote:

hotsauceman1 wrote:Im also ashamed of how much i spend.

Don't worry about the expense. Financially speaking no ones hobby really makes sense to other. Take for example, anyone that has ever completed a project car. For all the time and effort someone could have just gone out and bought a new vehicle. That however is not why they restored the car. It wasn't because they needed another vehicle. It was because they love cars and working on them.

Golf is another prime example. If you buy a name brand set of irons, woods, a driver, and a putter brand new you are looking at somewhere between $1000 and $2000 depending upon style and level of the equipment. Then you have the option of high end balls made by the name brand companies, shoes, gloves, tees, etc. THEN you have to pay to play the damn game. My point is.....you have joined what is yet another elitiest hobby. So, I wouldn't worry about the expense factor.

My point is not to say that the game is appropriately price because it isn't. My point was to prove that the majority of hobbies are over priced and they definitely are to those that don't have an interest in them.

Its not that. ITs how i feel in general about spending money. I have so much. others so little. and i complain about price hikes from GW.

I’ve never encountered much of a stigma with tabletop gaming. The general response I get is that the models look cool but are very expensive. Personally I think the only stigma (a bit a small one) is probably the high prices (and that’s a fair point IMO). The price issue I reckon is probably more of an issue with GW specifically as nowadays there are a lot more cost effective avenues for tabletop hobbies that did not exist 5-10 years ago.

As a side note, I’ve noticed that non gamers/hobbyists can carry a few misconceptions sometimes (e.g. hobby is only meant for little kids) which is why I personally don’t openly discuss the hobby with non gamers/hobbyists (it usually leads to an awkward conversation involving 100s of questions).

Personally though I’m not ashamed of my participation in the hobby. A colleague of mine from work once said that “part of being a man is to have some kind of money wasting hobby” therefore any sort of absurd money wasting hobby is justified to a lesser extent lol.

candy.man wrote:I’ve never encountered much of a stigma with tabletop gaming. The general response I get is that the models look cool but are very expensive. Personally I think the only stigma (a bit a small one) is probably the high prices (and that’s a fair point IMO). The price issue I reckon is probably more of an issue with GW specifically as nowadays there are a lot more cost effective avenues for tabletop hobbies that did not exist 5-10 years ago.

As a side note, I’ve noticed that non gamers/hobbyists can carry a few misconceptions sometimes (e.g. hobby is only meant for little kids) which is why I personally don’t openly discuss the hobby with non gamers/hobbyists (it usually leads to an awkward conversation involving 100s of questions).

Personally though I’m not ashamed of my participation in the hobby. A colleague of mine from work once said that “part of being a man is to have some kind of money wasting hobby” therefore any sort of absurd money wasting hobby is justified to a lesser extent lol.

Down at my local hobby town i noticed alot of hobbists are always middle age men who have free time and money of there own to spend.

I dont hate the stigma of playing tabletop games..... I just find it hard to defend them when someone actually goes into the store and see all these black t shirt wearing, long haired, zitty face kids hooting and hollering over there 3 cm plastic toy =]

IPS wrote:Personally, I approach Warhammer from an artistic point of few.

I value the art and passion behind all those fantastic worlds, great models
and last but not least the battles you play.
That's also how I present my hobby to other people when I feel like talking about it for some reason.
Nobody would ever dare to laugh at you when you present them a great painting of yours,
or tell them that you won a chess turnament.

That this is also the reason why I dislike quite a couple of Warhammer players out there,
I have to admit that, which disregard those aspects of the hobby.
At least once they've reached a certain age.

Sure the idea of power appeals to me as well (as much as it does to any other person)
but that aspect should never go ahead of the other values, which fantasy worlds offer to us.

That is another big point I wanted to lay out. The Warhammer 40,000 hobby is a form of art. Very much like something an artist that
paints on canvas or an illustrator would do.

If someone asks about your hobbies, you can explain that one of them is painting model figures & wargaming. That seems to be
a reasonable way to describe it to people that know nothing about it. If someone wants to know more, show them some of the models.

I genraly have no problems talking about the hobby if it is brought up even to my Girlfreind

as it is i am already considerd a social outcast around my end-i wear mainly black with purple and dark red(i mean really dark)
i walk tall unlike the chavs who skulk in packs in their hoodies. I wear black fingerless gloves i am pale have a morbid attitude wear trenchcoats and listen to metal in a place overrun with chavs.

I used to be what you would call a closet gamer in my youth but that's because when I was a kid/early teen, there was an awful lot of social stigma attached to wargaming and GW in particular, more so than nowadays I think. It didn't help I went to a very sports orientated school and if you weren't in that clique, you were already an outsider.

At uni, it was much more easy to fall into the relevant social circles - there is such a divergance of people and tastes there, that you naturally gravitate to friends who share common interests.

As an adult, and particularly as I approached my 30's, I find myself not really giving a toss what other people think. But then again, my hobbies rarely crop up in conversation anyway and I don't really wear my nerd credentials on my sleeve anyway.

I think it is probably easier for kids these days than it used to be; although there is still a distressing amount of stigma attached to wargaming, the fact that 40K has started piercing the mainstream of console gaming is helping the situation.

I'm ashamed of some of the people that are associated with the hobby, when they smell like a gorilla's taint and plainly haven't washed any of their clothes or their greasy, unkempt hair for an extended period of time, but I proudly proclaim that I play Space Barbies to all and sundry.

Monster Rain wrote:I'm ashamed of some of the people that are associated with the hobby, when they smell like a gorilla's taint and plainly haven't washed any of their clothes or their greasy, unkempt hair for an extended period of time, but I proudly proclaim that I play Space Barbies to all and sundry.

Definitely this. It's one of the many reasons I avoid GW stores - tainted by association!

n0t_u wrote:I'm sort of indifferent about it. I won't go up to everyone and start talking about it, but I won't change the subject if someone asks either. I guess the main reason people would try to hide it is the apparent social stigma that is associated with games like this and D&D and the embarrassment thinking about it creates.

Pretty much my thoughts on the subject. I have plenty of "more socially acceptable" things I like to do so I can always talk about those but I don't go out of my way to hide that I like little toy soldiers or reading science fiction and fantasy.

I'm another who doesn't particularly enjoy playing in GW stores because of the clientele. They're stinky and weird. Plus, whenever I go into a GW they always assume I'm lost or in there to buy a gift - the staff use their 'talking to civilians' voice at me. I think it's probably because I don't look like someone who would be into gaming, whatever that is...

Anyhow, I'm not ashamed of my hobby as such. I tend to be pretty open about it, with a couple of notable exceptions:

- My missus is not aware of exactly how much I spend on WH40K, otherwise she'd kill me.

- I don't usually hide my hobby, even at my place of work, but at my new job one of the senior dudes made a slightly disparaging comment about 'Warhammer geeks', so I reckon I'll probably keep it to myself just for the sake of getting on.

Albatross wrote:I'm another who doesn't particularly enjoy playing in GW stores because of the clientele. They're stinky and weird. Plus, whenever I go into a GW they always assume I'm lost or in there to buy a gift - the staff use their 'talking to civilians' voice at me. I think it's probably because I don't look like someone who would be into gaming, whatever that is...

Anyhow, I'm not ashamed of my hobby as such. I tend to be pretty open about it, with a couple of notable exceptions:

- My missus is not aware of exactly how much I spend on WH40K, otherwise she'd kill me.

- I don't usually hide my hobby, even at my place of work, but at my new job one of the senior dudes made a slightly disparaging comment about 'Warhammer geeks', so I reckon I'll probably keep it to myself just for the sake of getting on.

This about somes me up as well except the last point, I am lucky to work with other hobbyists so my situation is slightly different.

I'm 29 now, and my mother and grandparents refer to the hobby as my Lil Action Figures. Most women I date are actually amazing with the level of detail that has to be put into each model. There have been a few that like to poke fun, but never anything serious or detrimental.

I'm not your "Avg" 40k player I suppose, but than again that's trying to assume there's a normal which is a fallacy to start.

If you like something stand up for it, If you love something never back down from it. If you hate something, smash it ... lol

There is a marked difference between not being ashamed of your hobby and being obnoxious about your hobby. You see, I recently started playing warhammer40k again, and everyone who's close to me knows I play it. However, I would never bring it up in a conversation unless the conversation called for it.

This is not because I'm ashamed of playing it, it's out of consideration for people who simply might have no interest in it. If asked, I will explain the hobby.

I guess the best example of how I treat the hobby is how it's written in my interests section on my CV

Music
Reading
Sports
Video Gaming
Board and Card Gaming

Normally, employers don't really ask too much about this section, but I admit I put greater emphasis in the fact I used to play in a local pub-rock band, and that I religiously watch the NFL. That's the go-to topic when it comes to my interests

I do however mention that I play Starcraft, Poker, Warhammer, Risk and other games if asked specifically about it. I don't keep warhammer out of it.

Im not ashamed at all about my hobby and all of my friends are cool with me being a self proclaimed nerd. That being said, im in my early 20's and often attempt to bring woman home after a night at the pub or simply a social encounter gone right. I usually have no plans on dating these woman( not that i am a womanizing pimp or anything i simply dont have time to devote to them) and usually the feeling is mutual but when we finnaly get to my pad i regrettfully have forgot to pack up and stash away all of my WIP models and modeling supplies. This usually consists of a dedicated desk area in my room that is always a bit of a mess with hobby goodness. The looks and awkward questions i usually receive are.....less than ideal.....now of course i wouldnt date these judgmental woman but thats not really my plan. One day il meet the right girl who i feel comfortable admiting my full blown hyper nerd tendencies but i feel if im ever to enjoy my young years of being single i must hide all GW related things when the ladies are in house....
Just my personal experiances and feelings, the day i meet a female that accepts me for who i am and maybe even engages in nerdness of her own AND (this one is important) is attractive i will be content. Untill then, in the closet, desk, cabinet go all the models when opposite sex company is present......yes i know how this sounds but i feel many can relate because us tabletop gamers ARE normal intelligent people with social lives.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
keyword "attempt" to bring home woman, when the stars align it works out hahahaha

filbert wrote:I used to be what you would call a closet gamer in my youth but that's because when I was a kid/early teen, there was an awful lot of social stigma attached to wargaming and GW in particular, more so than nowadays I think. It didn't help I went to a very sports orientated school and if you weren't in that clique, you were already an outsider.

At uni, it was much more easy to fall into the relevant social circles - there is such a divergance of people and tastes there, that you naturally gravitate to friends who share common interests.

As an adult, and particularly as I approached my 30's, I find myself not really giving a toss what other people think. But then again, my hobbies rarely crop up in conversation anyway and I don't really wear my nerd credentials on my sleeve anyway.

I think it is probably easier for kids these days than it used to be; although there is still a distressing amount of stigma attached to wargaming, the fact that 40K has started piercing the mainstream of console gaming is helping the situation.

yeah this is VERY true-although the console games are helping...

filbert wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:I'm ashamed of some of the people that are associated with the hobby, when they smell like a gorilla's taint and plainly haven't washed any of their clothes or their greasy, unkempt hair for an extended period of time, but I proudly proclaim that I play Space Barbies to all and sundry.

Definitely this. It's one of the many reasons I avoid GW stores - tainted by association!

never encounterd this kind of player before.

Albatross wrote:I'm another who doesn't particularly enjoy playing in GW stores because of the clientele. They're stinky and weird. Plus, whenever I go into a GW they always assume I'm lost or in there to buy a gift - the staff use their 'talking to civilians' voice at me. I think it's probably because I don't look like someone who would be into gaming, whatever that is...

Anyhow, I'm not ashamed of my hobby as such. I tend to be pretty open about it, with a couple of notable exceptions:

- My missus is not aware of exactly how much I spend on WH40K, otherwise she'd kill me.

- I don't usually hide my hobby, even at my place of work, but at my new job one of the senior dudes made a slightly disparaging comment about 'Warhammer geeks', so I reckon I'll probably keep it to myself just for the sake of getting on.

never had this problem at my local GW

The question is, why do some of us feel this way? Why do we deny what we obviously enjoy doing? Is it because deep down inside we realise on some level that we are doing is "wrong"......oh I'm not talking kiddy fiddler "wrong", but maybe "sitting in your basement watching porn" wrong?

I hide it because the playerbase is shameful. I don't want to be directly linked to it outside of the hobby itself. I don't want that connection harming my other pursuits.

I am a leader. I specialize in taking dysfunctional teams, and making them work. When I first introduce myself to these teams I say the following:

There are three things you need to know about me, and not much else matters at this point:
1. I am a stereotypical geek/nerd/dork/whatever you want to call me.
2. I have very high expectations of all of you and as adults, I expect you to live up to them.
3. You will NOT like me.

Typically, they are more concerned about 2 and 3 at that point and completely forget about point 1.

I must admit I'm not running about screaming I'm in the hobby, but if folks ask me what I am doing this weekend I'll tell them without a thought.

I also wear a lot of gamer wear. I do get some odd looks wearing my Imperial ones though. I sometimes think there are a couple of folks in the village who think my Tanith T-shirts are some sort of 'Nazi' affiliated thing from the looks I get. Not that such things bother me mind, thats their problem, not mine.

Being open about my gaming introduced me to a fella in the village I play with several times a year. It also helped a lad get hired for my family buisness because he put it on his application form. Had a choice between him and a couple of others, and we went for the wargamer, partially as I noted it was somebody I would be happy to work with.

I'd also probably agree LARP is harder to explain, but I have no shame there either. Just sadly not had a chance to go in ages now, think my last event was 2001. Sad really.

ShumaGorath wrote:

The question is, why do some of us feel this way? Why do we deny what we obviously enjoy doing? Is it because deep down inside we realise on some level that we are doing is "wrong"......oh I'm not talking kiddy fiddler "wrong", but maybe "sitting in your basement watching porn" wrong?

I hide it because the playerbase is shameful. I don't want to be directly linked to it outside of the hobby itself. I don't want that connection harming my other pursuits.

Yep, same here. The wargamer stereotypes are incredibly off-putting. I firmly believe that there's an underground movement of secret wargamers that keep their identity firmly under wraps by not spending more than 10 mins in a GW at any one time. I've met some of them - they're just like normal blokes you'd see down the football. Our very own notprop and mattyrm (and, dare I say it, yours truly) are good examples of this type of gamer.

I have much more... interesting things to hide than playing with toy soldiers. I think that it's more an issue of people not having social skills than the hobby itself.