Re:Ifalna's minis - Celestial WraithKnight Update + Fire Prism for sale

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**Gitsplitta**

That's good to hear... thanks Gir.

**Ifalna**

Hello everyone.

I've had this box open for about 2 hours now totally failing to work out what to write, so I'm going to copy the Facebook post I made a couple of days ago after forcing myself to stop being such a massive sad coward.

I've been out of touch from the painting community for far too long now and want to issue a heartfelt apology for my absence!

Without throwing my personal nonsense all over all of you, about two years ago now what started as a trickle of small problems in my life just continued to get worse and more severe until I completely lost my ability to be creative.

Everything I painted was absolutely crap to me and I couldn't finish up any work, I was so ashamed and embarrassed by the "results" of my efforts that I just completely hid away and didn't know how to help myself get over such a complete lack of creativity or confidence in myself.

In hindsight, looking back at how it affected me, I was suffering from depression without realising it was happening.

After three (oh god) house moves in less than a year and extreme instability in the job front, I'm in a very secure and relaxed place at last, and yesterday, after being made sick to my stomach every time I looked at a paint brush for a two years, I unpacked and set up my painting desk, and I painted a little goblin.

And it wasn't crap.

And I liked him.

And I'm going to paint more of him today because he made me so happy.

To all the amazing people who commissioned me when I was relying on it as my main income and who I totally vanished from, please Private Message me as I've put aside cash for refunds and tokens of apology for everyone from my first couple of paychecks with the wonderful new company I work for.

For folks who have been PMing me for commissions for so long, I'm so sorry, I don't think I will be taking on commissions anymore unless they are very small projects and only in single batches, and that won't be for quite a while.

I can't express enough how aware I am that I was a massive bumhead. I haven't logged in here in literally years because I was so embarrassed and ran away instead of just not being so cowardly, which didn't even help my situation at all so it was entirely pointless to even do!

I have a lot of messages and I'm going to try and get through them today now that this anxiety bomb is out of the way, and I've finished painting my first awful little figure in years, which made me feel so incredibly happy again, it's hard to describe.

Dakka Dakka is probably the nicest community of folks I was ever part of and I shouldn't have vanished to try and escape how I was feeling, I hope maybe some folks will still drop in here and say hello every now and then when I slowly start taking piccies of what I'm doing (just the one wee Gobbo so far but my motivation is THROUGH THE ROOF and I can't wait to finish work and go home and paint tonight!)

Thanks for the complete lack of abusive messages from what I've seen, I don't really deserve to not get them so I'm kind of in shock.

Just, thanks, in general.

**Gitsplitta**

I'm just happy you're safe and sound Iffy. You have been sorely missed. Glad to "hear your voice" again.

Welcome back. - Art

**whalemusic360**

It's good to see you came back with an explanation and are going to make amends, instead of being lost in the world forever. I don't think any of us are in a massive rush at this point, be sure not to bury yourself again.

**darefsky (Flight Medic Paints)**

Glad your back and feeling better.

**Bacms**

Glad you made it out of the depression and are feeling better. You have been missed and I am glad too see you posting again.

**SlaveToDorkness**

As someone who went through almost the exact situation (piles of commissions delayed by massive depression) I can totally feel for you.

Glad you're back! Glad that little Goblin made you happy with your work again, that's a good feeling!

Chin up, things always get better!

**Nevelon**

Good to have you back.

**GiraffeX**

Wow Iffy its great to see you back, you have been missed.

Its great that a small little gobbo has brought back happiness into your painting world, look forward to seeing him when you are ready.

**Ifalna**

Thanks so much guys.

I'm slowly getting through messages buy please, PLEASE PM me if you haven't and I have anything belonging to you! I will absolutely do my best to set everything right as I am finally in a position to be able to do so, which feels very nice

The little Gobbo is all finished, but I sadly have in the many house moves lost my Cameras, lightbox, airbrush and compressor, half my paints, my lamps, and so many of my handy little doodads, so getting a nice photo of him was very hard.

I chose the smallest mini I could find as my hands aren't nearly what they used to be and are all shaky and need some training, so I did mega detail on him as best I could without using any drybrushing to get lots of practice in.

He's not good, I know I would have been very unhappy with him previously, but painting him made me so happy I did have a bit of a cry.

I only have my phone to take piccies with untill tmy new supplies arrive, but here is a cruddy little shot:

God what an awful photo, and that's the best I could get!!

**SlaveToDorkness**

Don't beat yourself up so. That's a VERY nice mini.

**IceAngel**

Welcome back. It is truly great to have more of your fantastic art back on dakka. Congrats on getting through the tough times. I hope my fellow dakkaites and I can help you continue feeling better.

**Wehrkind**

Ifalna wrote:

He's not good, I know I would have been very unhappy with him previously, but painting him made me so happy I did have a bit of a cry.

Hah! I would have been pretty happy with him myself! He's a cute bit of work.

Glad to see you back Iffy. No apology was due to us; people come and go all the time, and the first awesome little guy you painted up would have made up for it. I appreciate you taking the to write all that out, as I am sure it wasn't easy but it certainly struck a chord with me, and hopefully will help a few others out along the way.

Looking forward to seeing the results of you taking the brush back up!

**Jackal**

To be perfectly honest Iffy, I think everyone (myself included) is just happy to see your well

Life has a nasty habit of catching up on people, so many here know and respect that feeling.

And that gobbo is still bloody top notch :p

**Gitsplitta**

That might not be up to your old standards of excellence Iffy, but for most of us that's a damn site better than we could accomplish on our best day.

You should save that one though... he's special.

**Lt. Coldfire**

Nice to have you back, Iffy! One of the few reasons I've continued to get on Dakka was in hopes of your glorious return.

It's great to see you in a better place and I think I speak for everyone when I say we all look forward to more of your work. You've been one of my biggest inspirations, that's for sure. I'm definitely chuffed.

Excellent job on your return goblin. I always felt that your goblins were some of your best work, especially that guy with the cape that you did a while back! Carry on.

**inmygravenimage**

Great to see you back in fine fettle m'dear, and not just on the book of Face.

**weetyskemian44**

(yoda voice)Welcome back, you are.

You shouldn't worry, you're great at this painting gig and I love that goblin. Can't fault it. Loving his chilly ears and nose.

**Wehrkind**

The "Book of Face" brings to mind images of a book written on the cured skin of a thousand flensed faces.

Or like a coffee table book of portraits. Let's go with the facial skin version of the Necronomicon! It has little cut outs for snacks!

**Ifalna**

Wehrkind wrote:
The "Book of Face" brings to mind images of a book written on the cured skin of a thousand flensed faces.

Or like a coffee table book of portraits. Let's go with the facial skin version of the Necronomicon! It has little cut outs for snacks!

Haha, I have that edition of the Evil Dead on DVD!

**Wehrkind**

"And lo, a stream of Skittles fell endlessly from its mouth, and to taste their rainbow was to invite madness."

**GiraffeX**

I don't know what your worrying about Iffy that Goblin looks fantastic.

**Ifalna**

Ah I am thrilled, some more experimenting with my phonecam and I got one thats way closer to his actual colour hue -

Doing some tidying and organising now, and I can't wait for my new lightbox!

**GiraffeX**

Yeah he's very cool, that little eye in the skull is amazing, looks like a glass eye.

Sooooooooooooooo what are you planning for your next mini?

**Ifalna**

GiraffeX wrote:

Sooooooooooooooo what are you planning for your next mini?

I have a new air compressor and airbrush on the way, and lovely awesome things planned for that that have been a LONG time coming, but for now, it's more colour and dexterity practice!

I don't even know what he is! I think he is a pirate elf. Out to be mega glam with a giant hair flick.

Getting better with the phone cam at least!

**Dr H**

Sorry to hear you've had a hard time, If'.
But glad to see you're on the up and back to painting and posting.

Gobbo looks good.

We are all our own worst critics, but you'll soon be back to your best (and well beyond the majority of mortal man's best) in no time, long breaks will do that.

That aside, enjoying yourself is the most important thing and it's good to hear you are.

Welcome back.

**Dreadclaw69**

Welcome back. I'm glad you came out the other side and you're starting to rediscover the joy of painting.

**Gitsplitta**

That cloak is spectacular Iffy. Nice concept.

**Commander Cain**

Welcome back indeed! Glad to hear that life is shaping up again and those latest minis are looking just fantastic. Eager to see what you have in store for us!

**Wehrkind**

I do like the cloak! The guy looks like the lost member of "Flock of Seagulls"