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Commisar

Pop quiz men! we're the only squad left, we have nothing but bayonets..... and we are being charged by a stompa WHAT DO WE DO?

KingCracker wrote:Commisar

Pop quiz men! we're the only squad left, we have nothing but bayonets..... and we are being charged by a stompa WHAT DO WE DO?

We take that Stompa, Sarge! Lead the way! <wink>

Warboss: Humph... im still 'ungry... Um... Hummmm... Ur Grotz i needs ya.

in my days of playing imperial guard in 4th ed me and a friend were playing a cityfight game and he took a stratagem that allows him to make a building become dangerous terrain, so i did not know this and i put ALL my units in one building, and that building just happened to be the one he blew up...

Vox Caster Bearer: "sir i think i hear a beeping noise"

Sargent: "SHUTTUP, YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT IS NO COMMISSAR I CAN REPORT YOU TOO!!!! "

Sniper: "main command i see a chaos sorcerer holding some sort of button, and he appears to be waving at us"

Senior Officer: "Get the Command squad out"

-KA-EXPLODE-

Vox Caster Bearer: sir we need to evacuate the building now!"

Sargent: "WE NEED TO EVAC THE BUILDING NOW"

and on their way out they were squished by falling rubble

needless to say, i lost only killing a khorne beserker, with an auto-cannon

we did not get to turn 3

"oh crap....where'd the eldar go?"

"dont worry, thats what bayonettes are for"

"here come the orks! quick, grab your stub pistol!"

SonsOfLoki wrote:in my days of playing imperial guard in 4th ed me and a friend were playing a cityfight game and he took a stratagem that allows him to make a building become dangerous terrain, so i did not know this and i put ALL my units in one building, and that building just happened to be the one he blew up...

Vox Caster Bearer: "sir i think i hear a beeping noise"

Sargent: "SHUTTUP, YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT IS NO COMMISSAR I CAN REPORT YOU TOO!!!! "

Sniper: "main command i see a chaos sorcerer holding some sort of button, and he appears to be waving at us"

Senior Officer: "Get the Command squad out"

-KA-EXPLODE-

Vox Caster Bearer: sir we need to evacuate the building now!"

Sargent: "WE NEED TO EVAC THE BUILDING NOW"

and on their way out they were squished by falling rubble

needless to say, i lost only killing a khorne beserker, with an auto-cannon

we did not get to turn 3

Ha, that's the reason it's against the rules to use that stratagem on a building in your opponent's deployment zone

Space Marines protects hobits from Lotr

Marine sargent to commander, "Sir its almost 2:00pm sould we ask the enemy to stop firing?"

Marine commander,"What why? Never mind go ahead."

Marine Sarge to enemy and units at 2pm,"k people 2'o clock time to put down your weapons, U KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!"

Marines cheering

Hobbits run out of house with Lot of food and start serving everyone with food.serves to commander, gets shot in the head

Marine to marine, "It's 'bout 3 o clock, want to start trying to kill each other again?"

other marine, " Sure"

Fight resumes with the end of dinner with explosive in the food, HOBBITS WIN Woot Woot

You're fighting Chaos Marines, (as either a Space Marine or a Guardsman, it doesn't matter), and suddenly you hear them shout: "For the Emperor!"

Any member of any army:

"Oops."

nothing.

"...Teabag!!"

Tau things you don't wanna hear.....

"They can run at us now?"

"Woohoo, reinforcements...... err.... why does the crisis suit at front weild a blade?"

"Brace for the enemy assault!"

"Who loaded the pluse rifles with ping pong balls again?"

*a space marine reports to his local physician for his monthly physical*

doctor enters room with a worried look: well now...

Marine: what is it doc?

Doctor: something came up on your *cough* test...

Marine: is it bad??

doctor: well son... have you had... *cough* relations? recently??

marine: no sir...

Doctor: now you can tell me son... I know you're not telling the truth though... your CO told me about that incident with the daemonette...

Marine: alright doc... you caught me... whats wrong... did that slannesh she devil give me something?

Doctor: thats just it son... she wasn't slannesh... she wasnt slannesh at all... she was nurgle...


*end scene*


And remember kids...

always practice safe interaction with the diseased hordes...

Country Music.

Ignorant Hick Guardsman:
"Heh, Sarge said something called 'tirry-nids' was a-coming. That old fool, he must've taken a knock to the head..."

"Those eldar can't hit the broad side of a barn and they smell funny. We can take them."

"Sir, those are orks."

"Oh, so we can take them in close combat. Fix bayonets!"

LunaHound wrote:
*Inquisitor arrives after Sisters of Battle have successfully wiped out a Daemon infested city

Inq: Report, i see you have met a fierce resistance.

Celestian : We suffered no casualties, not even a wound , the emperor protects us.

Inq , then where are all the blood from?

Celestian : Its that time of the month, when we shall drown our enemies in crimson river of death!

Inq: ? what do you mean?



Image removed as it is inappropriate for a family-friendly forum

--yakface

hahahahaha

Exarch_Nektel wrote:Country Music.

I laughed so hard at this!

Some annoying little stood by your table telling you what they would have done better everytime one of your units is killed.

Wannabe Writer wrote:Some annoying little stood by your table telling you what they would have done better everytime one of your units is killed.

An annoying little crying his eyes out and wailing on the top of his lungs after you punch him for said comments

hellsguardian316 wrote:

Wannabe Writer wrote:Some annoying little stood by your table telling you what they would have done better everytime one of your units is killed.

An annoying little crying his eyes out and wailing on the top of his lungs after you punch him for said comments

An annoying little s mother complaining to you after you punched the little in the face.


"CRACK SUICIDE SQUAD ADVANCE!!!"

Totally ripping off TSOALR, but it has to be said....

Unsupervised kid in the store: "Nice toy soldiers, can I look at them. Ooops...."

"You need to roll anything but a 1....."

Inquisitor: Don't worry lads, I wont be long, Just have to shuttle up to the fleet in orbit to coordinate our forces. Back in a Bit. The Emperor Protects.

A few hours later, the penny drops... along with a bright lance of light from the sky

IG commander: Oh look, an enemy.

Marneus Calgar : Son of Guilliman, if I was to tell you that you are going to be the next Chapter Master of the ultramarines what would you say?

Space Marine Captain: I'd say screw this, I'm going over to Khorne.

Don't worry, here come the Lamentors!

"I hate this game."

"Your army is cheesy go screw a goat."

"Ok, I am gonna Lash that unit over here, and that other unit right next to them...Now I am gonna have my 9 Oblits fire Plasma cannons..."

Hey, nine 1's.