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Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. Unfortunately they’re all considerably racist, and eventually the offence causes you to be burned in a Wickerman by a group of Picts so incensed by your cultural insensitivity, they break through the time continuum.

I wish child actors weren’t so horribly mistreated, let alone actively abused.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in us
Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil





Way on back in the deep caves

Granted. Child actors lead the life of the golden ones. They sit beneath the palms and drink the wine with the enlightened ones. On their 18th birthday, they are simply lined up and shot as adults.

I wish for a bigger chainsaw.

Trust in Iron and Stone  
   
Made in it
Regular Dakkanaut




Granted, but it will slay you the first time you try to use it, because the chain is too weak.

I wish for the codex of Men of Iron.

The answer is inside you; but it is wrong. 
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Granted. It is written by Arnold Schwarzenegger and has nothing to do with any known game system.

I wish people who can't drive in the snow would stay off the damn roads.

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in us
Dwarf Runelord Banging an Anvil





Way on back in the deep caves

Granted. Now they line up and block the roads, protesting those who drive in unsafe conditions.

I wish for warmer weather.

Trust in Iron and Stone  
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. Enjoy the surface of the sun.

I wish pseudoscience, woo and click bait drivel was ignore by humanity entirely.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in it
Regular Dakkanaut




Granted: the humanity regress to the stone age, so there is no more pseudoscience because there is no more science, technology and internet; there is only shamans, witches and sorcerers…

I wish for a better job.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2021/03/09 10:19:33


The answer is inside you; but it is wrong. 
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. You’re immediately made redundant due to increasing automation.

I wish you happiness.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in it
Regular Dakkanaut




Granted, but you have lost everything: job, house, car, money, friends…

I wish the Immaterium would actually exist.

The answer is inside you; but it is wrong. 
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. Unfortunately it turns out Uri Sodding Geller is the only one able to tap its power.

He becomes ever more egotistical and insufferable, to the point even the Chaos Gods want shot of him, turning him into a Warp Breach Singularity which wipes out our planet,

I wish for mankind to peaceably and successfully colonise the Moon within the next 30 years, and use it thereafter as a fuel efficient launching point for greater exploration and colonisation of Mars.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in it
Regular Dakkanaut




Granted, but before to start the Mars colonisation it will happen a little problem:



I wish the Italians would be more similar to the Ancient Romans.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2021/03/12 08:03:03


The answer is inside you; but it is wrong. 
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





The_Grim_Angel wrote:
Granted, but before to start the Mars colonisation it will happen a little problem:



I wish the Italians would be more similar to the Ancient Romans.


Granted, and all technology discovered/invented after 500AD stops functioning.

I wish for a an end to disease and famine.
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted.

In a Chairman Mao error (see Sparrows), those responsible completely deforest the planet, and sterilise it of all microbial life. The biome completely collapses and everyone dies.

I wish world leaders would, instead of wars, just drop their trousers to decide who has the bigger wanger.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in it
Regular Dakkanaut




Granted. Butt all the feminists of the world are under your house (and very angry), because now no one woman can became a world leader.

I wish to live in a world in which the ancient Gods and their magic are a real thing.

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2021/03/12 17:56:21


The answer is inside you; but it is wrong. 
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Granted, but they are more stupid and petty than normal humans... Because they are gods.

I wish I had my new shed already.

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. It’s a Time Shed.



You travel back to dinosaur times and get ate off a T-Rex.

I wish I could get out of bed today, but I can’t be bothered.


Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Granted. The bed gets offended by stash of Manga under it and tosses you out. It refuses to let you back in until you find alternate storage for your collection.

I wish to buy the world a Coke.

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. Unfortunately it’s the bad kind, and you go to Pris for ever and ever and ever. Mr Big of the Pris bears a grudge, because he’s quite fond of the Bad Kind of Coke, and his got lost in the post.

I wish Rupert Murdoch never existed.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in gb
Sagitarius with a Big F'in Gun




Bath

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Granted. Unfortunately it’s the bad kind, and you go to Pris for ever and ever and ever. Mr Big of the Pris bears a grudge, because he’s quite fond of the Bad Kind of Coke, and his got lost in the post.

I wish Rupert Murdoch never existed.


granted, but his replacement, Robert Docmur, is actually indistinguishable form him, right down to the cellular level, to the point that your not sure it actually happened or if you just suddenly started hallucinating that his name was Rupert Murdoch, dispite everyone telling you otherwise. The cognitive dissonance that you experience every time you hear his name takes its toll on your mental health, and you end your days in a pych ward, questioning reality itself.


I wish the anti-vaccine movement....wasnt.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2021/03/22 21:19:03


Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an` Tommy, 'ow's yer soul? "
But it's " Thin red line of 'eroes " when the drums begin to roll
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's " Thin red line of 'eroes, " when the drums begin to roll.
"Tommy", Rudyard Kipling
500pts
1000 pts
 
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Granted. They now oppose injections because they are invasive, cause swelling and bleeding, and hurt bunches.

I wish the tool I need cost less than $500.00 (US).

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. It’s $499 and a Raccoon has just eaten your bank account.

I wish I could be arsed to paint my models.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Granted. It’s $499 and a Raccoon has just eaten your bank account.

I wish I could be arsed to paint my models.


Granted. You are overcome by an overwhelming desire to paint your models, but are unable to find any paint or brushes anywhere. You're urge to paint becomes all consuming and you neglect your physical needs while you constantly search for paint until you waste away.

I wish I was home already.
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted, because you’ve just been made homeless. Enjoy the gutter

I wish Katee Sackhoff got a MCU role.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in us
Is 'Eavy Metal Calling?





Affton, MO. USA

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Granted, because you’ve just been made homeless. Enjoy the gutter

I wish Katee Sackhoff got a MCU role.


Granted, but it's a CGI role with no speaking parts.

I wish my boss would catch a clue.

LOL, Theo your mind is an amazing place, never change.-camkierhi 9/19/13
I cant believe theo is right.. damn. -comradepanda 9/26/13
None of the strange ideas we had about you involved your sexual orientation..........-Monkeytroll 12/10/13

I'd put you on ignore for that comment, if I could...Alpharius 2/11/14 
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. Unfortunately the clue caught is a clue from Parallex 99, a little known extraterrestrial parasite which causes abject incompetence. The only other victim is believed to be one B. Johnson.

I wish Old El Paso taco seasoning did its job.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Granted. It does, but only in the Old Town section of El Paso Texas.

I wish Taco Bueno taco meat wasn't so salty.

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut




On a surly Warboar, leading the Waaagh!

Granted! It's not too salty anymore because they've switched to Soylent Green and that's seasoned just right.

I wish Disco made a comeback.
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Granted.
Disco Volante by Mr. Bungle sees an extraordinary rise in popularity, winning multiple platinum albums and Album of the Year.

I wish George R. R. Martin would finish the damn GoT book already.

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





 helgrenze wrote:
Granted.
Disco Volante by Mr. Bungle sees an extraordinary rise in popularity, winning multiple platinum albums and Album of the Year.

I wish George R. R. Martin would finish the damn GoT book already.


Granted. He stops the story, mid-sentence and types "The End". It is published as is, without any proof reading or editing.

I wish I had a really good pizza.
   
Made in gb
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Granted. It’s Clarence, the Psychic Sentient Pizza superhero. He does nothing but good deeds, including kicking the asses of anyone who eats sentient Pizza.

I wish that when I go to the pub on 12 April, when lockdown eases, there’s a lovely soft idiot slobber guts Labrador wanting a fuss.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. 
   
 
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