Things you do not want to hear during a battle.....

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**halonachos**

Hearing a comissar yell "blood for the blood god!", because he's really Kharn.

**Arthas367**

IG -- Guard Number 1"hey what does that cloud look like to you?"
Guard Number 2 "Like a Tyranid Bio Shi......Goddamit...... were screwed"

Imperial Recruiter-- " Hey boy your an Imperial Guardsmen now"
Recruited Person--"*sigh* I guess it could be worse"
Imperial Recruiter--"Take pride boy you drop into the Demons and heretics Lines at Dawn, For the Emperor!!"
Recruited Person--"Son of a B**ch"
Commisar--*looks menacingly at person, and slides hand for holster*
Recruited Person--"For the Emperor!!"

**Gwar!**

Arthas367 wrote:IG -- Guard Number 1"hey what does that cloud look like to you?"
Guard Number 2 "Like a Tyranid Bio Shi......Goddamit...... were screwed"

Imperial Recruiter-- " Hey boy your an Imperial Guardsmen now"
Recruited Person--"*sigh* I guess it could be worse"
Imperial Recruiter--"Take pride boy you drop into the Demons and heretics Lines at Dawn, For the Emperor!!"
Recruited Person--"Son of a B**ch"
Commisar--*looks menacingly at person, and slides hand for holster*
Recruited Person--"For the Emperor!!"

Recruited Guardsman: In the name of the Emperor, for failing to Execute a Blaspheming Guardsman, I hearby sentence you to death! -Freem- May the Emperor have Mercy upon your Soul!

**Cheese Elemental**

"Look, Rhinos! RHINOS! Our enemies hide in METAL BOXES, the cowards, the fools! We... we should take away their metal boxes..."

"SSSSINDRIIIIIII!"

**halonachos**

Gwar! wrote:
Arthas367 wrote:IG -- Guard Number 1"hey what does that cloud look like to you?"
Guard Number 2 "Like a Tyranid Bio Shi......Goddamit...... were screwed"

Imperial Recruiter-- " Hey boy your an Imperial Guardsmen now"
Recruited Person--"*sigh* I guess it could be worse"
Imperial Recruiter--"Take pride boy you drop into the Demons and heretics Lines at Dawn, For the Emperor!!"
Recruited Person--"Son of a B**ch"
Commisar--*looks menacingly at person, and slides hand for holster*
Recruited Person--"For the Emperor!!"

Recruited Guardsman: In the name of the Emperor, for failing to Execute a Blaspheming Guardsman, I hearby sentence you to death! -Freem- May the Emperor have Mercy upon your Soul!

Zombie Commissar: For killing your commissar and committing an act of rebellion I sentence you to death.
Recruited person: But your dead and only in death does duty end.
Zombie Commissar: Looks at self* I'm not dead yet.

**spartanghost**

halonachos wrote:
Gwar! wrote:
Arthas367 wrote:IG -- Guard Number 1"hey what does that cloud look like to you?"
Guard Number 2 "Like a Tyranid Bio Shi......Goddamit...... were screwed"

Imperial Recruiter-- " Hey boy your an Imperial Guardsmen now"
Recruited Person--"*sigh* I guess it could be worse"
Imperial Recruiter--"Take pride boy you drop into the Demons and heretics Lines at Dawn, For the Emperor!!"
Recruited Person--"Son of a B**ch"
Commisar--*looks menacingly at person, and slides hand for holster*
Recruited Person--"For the Emperor!!"

Recruited Guardsman: In the name of the Emperor, for failing to Execute a Blaspheming Guardsman, I hearby sentence you to death! -Freem- May the Emperor have Mercy upon your Soul!

Zombie Commissar: For killing your commissar and committing an act of rebellion I sentence you to death.
Recruited person: But your dead and only in death does duty end.
Zombie Commissar: Looks at self* I'm not dead yet.

I see what you did there.

'nid player: Haha. A cyclic Ion Blaster against my carnifex? please. Oh.... thats a lot of 6's.

**Happygrunt**

Cheese Elemental wrote:"Look, Rhinos! RHINOS! Our enemies hide in METAL BOXES, the cowards, the fools! We... we should take away their metal boxes..."

"SSSSINDRIIIIIII!"

SPECCES MARINESS WE HAVE FELLED THE EMPRA!

**ifyouseekamy**

Commissar:
"Welcome to the Imperium!"

"Rule #1: Don't die! Breaking rule #1 may result in severe consequences."

"Rule #2: Don't run! Breaking rule #2 may result in breaking rule #1."

**oggers**

Wryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

**Warboss Gakil Goreata**

" Hey, is that the new[ Type of model] ?"
" Hey that is it."
" I think it's stupid"

**sugna the repairible**

What is that big hole apearing in the sky?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IT IS A WARP RIFT!

**Xanthos552**

*Wall of Chaos Terminators*
Vet Sarge: Time to make 'em eat our steel lads!!!!
Guardsman: Um, isn't that Abaddon???
Comissar: TRAITOR!!!!!!

**Lord Castellan Mik**

Sarge "There a ton of Nid's out there tonight"
Sarge "Trooper Jones take point"
Jones "WTF"

Mik

**Superscope**

"Lets ram that skimmer!!"

Yarrack - "I'm charging ma lazar eye!"
Ork mek - "It's ova 9000?"

Guardsman 1 - "Why is everybody running away?"
Guardsman 2 - "I don't know, but our baneblade in front of us is glowly weirldy" *Castrstrohic damage!!!11! followed by a large explosion*

Scout sentinal pilot - "Woo... driving along in my green mean machine... err.. what's that blue beam coming at me?" *FREEM*

Mabro - "Suprise C***Bags" *throws demo charge*
Space marine - *Swings bolter and hits the demo charge back like a baseball*
Mabro - "F***" *BANG*

*Deathstrike missile launcher is about to launch*
Driver - "Fire the missile!"
Techpriest - "But..."
Driver - "I said FIRE"
Techpriest - "Have it your way then.." *Beep*
*T-minus 5 seconds til launch*
Driver - "Hey.. why you running away?"
Techpriest - "Because the missile is installed BACKWARDS!"
Driver - "Oh what the F.."
*1... 0*
(And thus, the techpriest decieded never to drink while installing stuff ever again... well.... hopefuly)

**darkangels_rule**

guardsman " sir this teleport homer we found just started beeping"

"i think we upset the licktor "

"dont worry lads no one has a basic infantry weapon that can shoot 30" not even tau "

"just shoot the necrons once and thats the job done"

"errr sir what does a deamon prince look like (pointing like mad)"

"dont worry about the orks lads they cant shoot for shi......(pop!)"

awww the hive tyrant is looking this way ......dont look he might go away........awwwww he isnt

**Canonness Rory**

"I have over 300 guardsmen in my list"
"My Carnifex has 7 toughness"

**daygo2ilm**

Man your dice suck today

**gretar**

IG :

IG: Dude , is that blood ? .... *Fainths*

IG2 : Oh my , thats a lot of organs ! Wait a minute ... why are some of them moving towards me ?? OH MY GOD !!!'

SMs joke:

SM1 : So these tyranids are accutally gonna eat the whole planet ? Why wont we let them ? I mean , the Chaos sure will die :S

SM2 : NO SOUP FOR YOU ! ! ! !

**darkangels_rule**

oh no theve got DUST BUSTERS .......ruuuun

oh no theve got WET WIPES aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

oh no prozak ahhhhhhhhhhzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

oh no theve got porn ..........actualy ......any good swaps .....aww go on then

**smiling Assassin**

"Sarge, moy trouserhs argh chayyfink!"

sA

**sugna the repairible**

What?

**darkangels_rule**

smiling Assassin wrote:"Sarge, moy trouserhs argh chayyfink!"

sA

lol
at least i got it

**darkangels_rule**

CLICK
CLICK
CLICK
CLICK

AWWW

OUT OF AMMO

**kirsanth**

So I was on this forum on Dakkadakka, http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/180/228473.page#698701
and it made me think should try ...

**Ensis Ferrae**

smiling Assassin wrote:"Sarge, moy trouserhs argh chayyfink!"

sA

been there, done that.... definitely a war stopper, but yeah, you dont want to *HEAR* that... thats just tmi

**LiberatedObject**

CSM Sergant: "BUNNIES FOR THE BUNNY GOD! CARROTS FOR THE CARROT THRONE!"
CSM Publicist: "Well, there goes our image."

**SagesStone**

Libraian: "Opps" *Explosion in the background, several SM yelling in pain as they're sucked into a vortex*

Sniper Scout Sergeant: "Alright everyone charge the Carnifex.... Wait... Carnifexes now.. Yeah everyone charge the Carnifexes"

Tech Servitor: "Even I know that's a bad plan"
Nearby Captain: "Everyone ignore him, they have no minds after all"
Tech Servitor: "Actually...."
*Captain points bolter at Servitor*
Tech Servitor: ".....1.24563..... Rhino........ Repair start"
Techmarine: "A prophecy?"
Captain: "You heard him, we are assured victory against... Who are we fighting today?"
Libraian: "Necrons"
Captain: "Alright everyone charge that big pyramid thing, we'll show them our strength. Also someone bash up that flying guy in the robes he looks weak"

**Exarch_Nektel**

"That's the enemy?!? They don't look too b-"

**sugna the repairible**

What could possibly go wrong.
Is that the best you got?
Yeah, you and what army?
At lest it can't get any worse.
And chuck norris just died by a snotling snezzed on him.
EPIC LOSS.

**Emperors Faithful**

Catachan Commander: Okay! So that's settled! From now on we're gonna be called the Catachan Devils!
Now, where can we find a mascot...

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Etheral: You are to be sent on another diplomatic mission.
Emmissary: Who with?
Ethereal: It is a new race, never before encoutered.
Emmissary: Yipee! Who! Who!
Ethereal: I don't know I can't pronounce it, (to bodygaurd) what was it again?
Bodyguard: I don't know, I think it sounded something like...Nids, Tinids? I don't know, something like that?
Emmissary: Cooool!