Bolter B-Word Privileges - A Sororitas Story

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**SisterSydney**

Aaaaand I just changed one of the character's names in this because I realized I used a different name in the sequel. Goodbye, Evanna, hello, Luna.

**SisterSydney**

The latest sequel is now up: Able Baker.

**bossfearless**

Pure. Frakking. Genius. There is a certain beauty to the idea of the novices owning the title "bolter bitches" and making it their purpose in life. I only wish this were longer. True, you wrote sequels including one that I have yet to read, but I wanted to see more writing and more scenes dedicated to the exploration of this specific theme. One thing I would love to see more of, which you do elaborate on further in Able Baker, is the psychological turmoil of the cadets. At this stage, though, they're still in essence saying good bye to their former lives and the hopes of any alternative future. Do you ever plan to revisit this idea, perhaps adding a second or third chapter of the novices at this stage, coming to terms with becoming bolter bitches?

**SisterSydney**

I hadn't thought about that, honestly -- this stand-alone story quickly became the prologue to the stories of Ginevra & friends at 15. (Luna: "I'm 16..."). Now you've suggested it, I'll think about the possibilities.

**bossfearless**

A good thing to do as an exercise might be to go through your list of all the characters here, including all the novices and even Sister Torres, and just ask a single question: What did they want to be when they grew up? It's a tough thing to answer for yourself, but coming up with answers for characters is sometimes a lot of fun. It should give you an extra dimension to work with. Maybe someone like Portia actually wanted to be a Sister or an officer so she could boss people around, maybe Luna had an oddball career in mind like squig farming. Do they resent the Sisters for making those dreams null and void? Each person takes that kind of change in a different way.

**SisterSydney**

Remember they're all coming out of the Schola Progenium. What age orphans enter Schola is hazy in published material, but it's almost certainly before age 10, so their career options were always limited to some kind of Imperial service. Most Progena end up in the Navy, Guard, or Administratum; those with particularly intense temperaments become Commissars, Arbites, or Priests; and an elite subset of girls get to enter the Adepta Sororitas, which is more than just the militant orders. So I'd consider it unlikely for someone who's not motivated to be a Sister to make the cut.

Although yes, Luna totally wanted to be a squig herder when she grew up. That's now canon.

**bossfearless**

It really depends on which version of the 'canon' you enjoy the most. The Cain series, while rather ridiculous, did an excellent job of fleshing out the non-combat side of the Imperium and the Schola in particular. In that version, schola students weren't orphans, but rather the children of officers and other persons within the Imperial hierarchy. So there could be a mix of orphans who've never known anything else, and the spawn of well-to-do officer types who might still dare to dream big, even in the awful grimdarkness of the future.

**poda_t**

bossfearless wrote:
It really depends on which version of the 'canon' you enjoy the most. The Cain series, while rather ridiculous, did an excellent job of fleshing out the non-combat side of the Imperium and the Schola in particular. In that version, schola students weren't orphans, but rather the children of officers and other persons within the Imperial hierarchy. So there could be a mix of orphans who've never known anything else, and the spawn of well-to-do officer types who might still dare to dream big, even in the awful grimdarkness of the future.

The schola is an incomplete skeleton whose bone's we're not even sure all go together. There's no canon in the schola because the vast majority of GW readers are fanboys who can't go two minutes of reading without violence before lapsing into nerd rage. I've read practically every book published in paper by the black library, and most of them are pretty bad for that. The story is incredibly thin, and relies on building paper thin characters out of typical archetypes and then having them beat the snot out of each other. The reason the canon is thin has to do with the fact that nobody'd read it.

also, it's the imperium, a machine run on the blood of it's citizens. You don't have to be motivated to be a sister, you just have to be controllable and good enough not to be ejected into the guard.

**Mr Morden**

I agree that the Cain novels are one of the few BL books that bother to examine certain aspects of the 40k world:

There are lots of great bits in the novels - even if one ignores the one element that tends to have people throwing stones at the author who in my opinion has tried to take very vague ideas and make them work - much as my other fav BL authors do - looking beyond the battles:

So here are some typical useful bits:

"Although most recruits to the Adepta Sororitas are, of course trained at their in their own convents, its by no means unusual to have a Battle Sister or two attached to a schola progenium, since many of the girls taken in by them are likely to feel a calling to join their ranks.They would see to their initial induction , assessing which of the aspirants were best suited to the Ordos Millitant, Hospitaller, Famulous, or what have you and which were better redirected along other paths entirely."

This seems very much how it would work and again puts a little flesh on the bones of how the Schola filters and directs its many and varied charges into the correct path

"The bulk of the education provided at a schola progenium is the same whatever branch of Imperial service the student enters, after this was determined in their early teens, the specialised training would begin."

A Typical day:
"A party of youths was down at the firing range, blowing cardboard targets to confetti, under the watchful eye of one of the drill abbots, while over to our left a squad of early adolescents was embarking on a run up one of the nearby mountains, urged on by their proctors. The familiar shape of the black painted truck from the local judiciary making its way up the winding track that lead to our gates, with it weekly delivery of condemned criminals for the interrogation, execution and live fire exercises."

"Like many such institutions, the schlola progenium would have been endowed by the Ecclesiarchy and most of the non-specialist staff drawn from their ranks."

This is very much in keeping with the story you are telling I think

- its a pardoy of the English private school system, throwing in the darker elements like the day to day torture and shooting of prisoners by children.... IMO this fits very much with the whole 40k concept from the beginning.............

**bossfearless**

Wtf? Mr Morden, last time I saw you, your head was on a pike.

**Mr Morden**

Well.......lets just say my Associates are resourceful

now..lets begin again

"What do you want?"

**bossfearless**

Who...are...you?!?

**Mr Morden**

Ah well if you have chosen their path I sorry for you for there is so much you are denying youself .............perhaps you should reconsider your choice.........

If we are not careful, someone is going to ask where are we going and that quesiton is of no use to anyone.

**SisterSydney**

I am intrigued but absolutely not getting the reference...

**bossfearless**

Babylon 5. Mr. Morden was a bad guy with really bad "associates" (your garden variety ancient alien menace), who survived an atomic blast only to have his head grace the top of a pike on the Centauri homeworld, at which point a chubby and utterly loveable character took the time to look up and wave gingerly to the head in a little "I told you so" moment. It was fabulous.

As to the reference we were making, the two diametrically opposed ancient alien menace races (ostensibly the "good" and "bad" guys) would, as a method of measuring the younger races of the galaxy, ask the questions "Who are you" or "What do you want," and would then proceed to belittle you for your answer.

Babylon 5 was an excellent show about diplomacy in space, and was ripped off heavily by Deep Space 9, which aired on a different network. It's worth torrenting just to check it out, but be warned that the computer graphics were from the mid-90's, and so they're really going to look silly at times. But the space battles are still cool.

**Mr Morden**

See there we have typical Vorlon misinformation

There are two ancient races with diametrically opposed views on how best to assist younger races in their evolution and ascension.

The Shadows (Chaos) believed that in order for a species to evolve and reach its full potential it must face conflict – and they were happy to provoke those conflicts and let the fittest survive. They are much older than the Vorlons and also only make their presence felt every thousand years or so. They are, mostly, in favour of free will, well sort of………When they do wake up they “kick over a few anthills” (start major wars) and see what happens – choosing a few races to assist” and then going back to sleep once everything is nicely proceeding

The Vorlons (Law) believe in a structured and steady growth of galactic civilisations that follow their specified instructions and procedures – if you don’t they will punish you – for your own good. Punishment may be simply limited to individuals or destroying whole races.

Technically the two races have rules of engagement that seek to avoid direct conflict between each other as this is bad for everyone else. However these tend to get bent – especially by the Vorlons who for instance altered most races so they perceived them in their natural form as Gods – again of course all in their best interests.

Like most battles between Law and Chaos its not actually a good thing for either side to win – Law tries a lot harder for the final victory but Chaos is happy for the conflict just to continue, recognising this truth. Sadly most people assumed the Vorlons were the good guys - despite what the show actually said. Neither race was good or bad for you - its very Michael Moorocok.

The B5 Shadows and Vorlon ships are some of the most awesome looking ships out there, the first appearance of the Shadow ship was truely beautiful..........and devestatingly powerful

In fact watch it here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYq-XJ5XfkI

- I love them and event wrote whole supplements for the spaceship minatures game where the conflict turned out very differently.....abd Mordens daughter plays a pivotal role. Mr Morden was a go between for the Shadows who served them in exchange for the retrieval of his wife and chld from a hyperspace accident - whole planets burned because when he asked people what they wanted - he would give it to them - even Vir who asked to see his head on a stcik got his wish.........

Also to get an insight into Mr Morden here is his very funny spoof secret diary

Spoiler:

**SisterSydney**

Oh, I remember Babylon 5, I just never got into it -- in part for lack of time (I was in high school and college during its run), in part because the on-screen execution didn't seem to live up to the ideas. Fascinating ideas, though.

And yes, I know all about crappy 1990s graphics. I am forty fething years old, I remember watching The Last Startighter when it first came out and being blown away by the amazing computer generated imagery (stop laughing), although even at the time the plot, acting, and dialogue were distinctly meh. But the human race has been doing plot, acting, and dialogue for a few thousand years, this CGI stuff we're still figuring out.

**Mr Morden**

Ha you youngsters - I am a couple of years older!

Last Starfighter - cool film

So going back to your awsome stories where are you going with the girls next? Oh and if you have not already check out Sisters of Vengeance - new Verse posted - very good.

**Troike**

poda_t wrote:
The schola is an incomplete skeleton whose bone's we're not even sure all go together. There's no canon in the schola

Actually, there's quite a bit of canon on it. The SoB codexes have always mentioned it, and their 2E codex talks about it quite a bit.

poda_t wrote:
You don't have to be motivated to be a sister

Of course you do, their whole thing is faith. Being so faithful that they can push themselves to superhuman feats. Sounds quite motivated to me.

poda_t wrote:
you just have to be controllable and good enough not to be ejected into the guard.

I don't think that they eject their rejects into the guard. They have the Repentia and Penitent Enginges for Sisters who screw up. Failing those, execution would probably be the punishment.

Manners edit: oh, and Sydney, I liked your story. Though like I said in the PM, it doesn't quite gel with how I view the Sisters, I still found it an entertaining read.

**SisterSydney**

Manners are unnecessary, Troike m'dear -- it's the internet! But, more seriously, thanks.

Mr Morden wrote:
So going back to your awsome stories where are you going with the girls next?

Looks like I have one more full-sized story and a postlude to go with them as Novices; then I'll have to take some time and ponder vague ideas for the life of a young Battle Sister. But "Novice Ginevra" is almost certainly going to look like this:

1. Prelude: Bolter B-Word Privileges (this short story)
2. Ginevra does good: Ollanius Pius Requiem
3. Ginevra does evil: Able Baker
4. Ginevra asks, what am I?: Dancing with the Astartes (pretty thoroughly outlined in my feverish brain but not yet written)
5. Postlude: Exit Interview (outlined but not yet written)

I have a bit of a fetish for symmetry so we've got a three-act structure with bookends making five parts total, with the darkest story in the middle.

**poda_t**

SisterSydney wrote:
Manners are unnecessary, Troike m'dear -- it's the internet! But, more seriously, thanks.

Mr Morden wrote:
So going back to your awsome stories where are you going with the girls next?

Looks like I have one more full-sized story and a postlude to go with them as Novices; then I'll have to take some time and ponder vague ideas for the life of a young Battle Sister. But "Novice Ginevra" is almost certainly going to look like this:

1. Prelude: Bolter B-Word Privileges (this short story)
2. Ginevra does good: Ollanius Pius Requiem
3. Ginevra does evil: Able Baker
4. Ginevra asks, what am I?: Dancing with the Astartes (pretty thoroughly outlined in my feverish brain but not yet written)
5. Postlude: Exit Interview (outlined but not yet written)

I have a bit of a fetish for symmetry so we've got a three-act structure with bookends making five parts total, with the darkest story in the middle.

I like your approach except for the darkness. I don't feel that it needs to be constrained to the middle. I also get miffed by books that end without neatly tying things off. I'm not asking for a happy ending, I'm just asking for all of the ducks to be in a row, alive or dead, hatched or unhatched, cybernetically enhanced or analog, I want them in a row and counted. I feel like books that end within 10 pages of the revelation to be a cheap cop-out....

**SisterSydney**

Oh, the darkness is everywhere -- it just gets worse in the middle (I think), so the story arc is a U-shape. Take the protagonist as low as she can go, then let her claw her way back up.

The individual stories tend to have an simpler progression from mostly funny to mostly dark.

And none of this was planned from the beginning, I sort of backed into it.

**Mr Morden**

What works for me is that you have moments of humour which makes the moments of darkness and horror far more effective as it does in all good drama.

**SisterSydney**

SisterSydney wrote:
... "Novice Ginevra" is almost certainly going to look like this:

1. Prelude: Bolter B-Word Privileges (this short story)
2. Ginevra does good: Ollanius Pius Requiem
3. Ginevra does evil: Able Baker
4. Ginevra asks, what am I?: Dancing with the Astartes (pretty thoroughly outlined in my feverish brain but not yet written)
5. Postlude: Exit Interview (outlined but not yet written)

I have a bit of a fetish for symmetry so we've got a three-act structure with bookends making five parts total, with the darkest story in the middle.

Well, feth my fetish for symmetry, I wrote something completely different that fits between 3 and 4: The Beginning. Because of course that's what goes between chapters 3 and 4.

**SisterSydney**

And It Is Finished.

**Matthew**

Gold. Just pure gold.

**Matthew**

Just saying again that this is awesome.

**SisterSydney**

Thanks for the necro-compliment. Also love your lama avatar.

**CREEEEEEEEED**

This is amazing. So is the rest of the series.

**KesaAnna**

I liked it so much that I was saddened that it can't be put on nice grade paper , with a good typeface, some pretty cover art, a few illustrations .
Certainly as good as anything you are likely to get in a bookstore in a trademarked series fiction section.

By the way , this one wouldn't actually need any illustrations . The imagery was remarkably vivid.

( I might put in an illustration though , for example, to give some clue as to what livery colors an Order Famulous would use.

)

My first reaction was , " Ugh, I don't think I'm going to like the B-word applied to Sisters . " :(

But the use to which it was put was remarkable. I dare say at least one-third, or maybe more like two-thirds , can relate closely to being an outsider and / or picked on in their youth , in their school days. That is taken and used to instill purpose, and to inculcate a sense of special-ness.

Drill instructors coming out of the Orders Famulous ; That makes sense !
I wonder if you got that detail out of pre-existing BL material, or did you come up with that organizational reasoning yourself ?
Personally, it's actually that sort of thing I find most compelling and interesting.

And it never would have occurred to me, even though I focus on that sort of thing, that even with power armor a 15 year old girl new to the Bolter might need a training-wheels-type of aid. Nice touch !

My own opinion, the opening lines were a bit clunky --- BUT the BEST editorial decision. Identity ? Affiliations ? Location ? Trying to work that in naturally might take three pages in itself , and I don't think the idea was to introduce the reader to the fascinating subject of organizational charts and Imperial geography.
On the other hand, that bit of background seems to be quite necessary here.
So, like I indicated, I think you handled it about as well as it could be handled given the constraining criteria.

I have this theory about the Imperium of Man ; Generally, for those for whom war and the warrior mystique are the meat and potatoes, there are Space Marines.
For that demographic for whom war is actually the backdrop or the excuse for themes , details, and Soap opera interest in involved story , and who usually or often are cynical about the warrior myth, there is Sisters of Battle and / or Imperial Guard.
That is, though it's the same hobby, they seem to attract different personality types, different focuses .

No doubt Space Marines, and those who want action , heroics, and stuff blowing up, by the second paragraph, are the biggest demographic and where the money is.
But with Imperial Guard, and especially Sisters , your style is suited.

That is, I don't think it will appeal to the general market.
It will appeal to who it is supposed to appeal to.

" .....part of the problem I had with the first Swallow novel, that nobody had enough to a sense of humor or humanity for me to care much about them, and I never finished the book. "

The two Swallow novels and the audio play, were tear-jerking tragedies. And, yes, near - entirely humorless. Interestingly though, you seem to have the same absorption and focus on the girl as does Swallow. In both cases that was something I really liked a lot.
I am biased though ; Have I ever met a Sister I didn't absolutely adore ? Umm........Nope.

It reminds me of something said in a favorite lecture ( on a different topic, philosophy. ) , " Men have always been oriented toward doing. People ask a man , " What is your job ? " That's a mans identity ; what he does. Women, at least traditionally, were a lot more about BEING. Who you are. Being rather than doing. "
The ideology and the narrative has changed, but the focus with women still seems to be primarily on her personality , her thoughts and feelings , and her esthetic. ( But then her esthetic is bound to be influenced by her personality, thoughts, and feelings )
I dunno, maybe that's just a bunch of psycho-babble.
But I'm still inclined to think that usually someone who WANTS to read ABOUT a GIRL is primarily going to want to read about her, not about her kill ratio.

Oops, sorry ! When I'm really interested I tend to be long-winded !