Airbus files patent for even worse airline seats

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**curran12**

daedalus wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
daedalus wrote:
I look forward to the day when they're wooden planks, and one must row the bo... plane through the air, getting occasionally whipped.

Possibly by stewardess dominatrixes (dominatrixi? dominatrixen? dominatrixices? kronk help me) just to tie it all together.

And we will still pay for it

To be fair, some people would pay extra for it. It doesn't sound like the kind of thing I'd be into, but I've never tried it before. Who knows, might be a luxury service.

To secure your ball gag, insert the metal tab into the buckle.

**d-usa**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
What would the safeword bee? Peanuts?

They will only tell you the safe word for an extra $150.

**daedalus**

curran12 wrote:
daedalus wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
daedalus wrote:
I look forward to the day when they're wooden planks, and one must row the bo... plane through the air, getting occasionally whipped.

Possibly by stewardess dominatrixes (dominatrixi? dominatrixen? dominatrixices? kronk help me) just to tie it all together.

And we will still pay for it

To be fair, some people would pay extra for it. It doesn't sound like the kind of thing I'd be into, but I've never tried it before. Who knows, might be a luxury service.

To secure your ball gag, insert the metal tab into the buckle.

Please secure your own ball gag before asking the person next to you if they need help with theirs.

"Hmf rrugh eeddfh hhm rrph rrfph aah aagg?"

**Jihadin**

daedalus wrote:
curran12 wrote:
daedalus wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
daedalus wrote:
I look forward to the day when they're wooden planks, and one must row the bo... plane through the air, getting occasionally whipped.

Possibly by stewardess dominatrixes (dominatrixi? dominatrixen? dominatrixices? kronk help me) just to tie it all together.

And we will still pay for it

To be fair, some people would pay extra for it. It doesn't sound like the kind of thing I'd be into, but I've never tried it before. Who knows, might be a luxury service.

To secure your ball gag, insert the metal tab into the buckle.

Please secure your own ball gag before asking the person next to you if they need help with theirs.

"Hmf rrugh eeddfh hhm rrph rrfph aah aagg?"

Guess their not getting that extra $150. Afterwards you can never say it was a boring flight

**curran12**

"In the event that your gimp suit depressurizes during flight, masks will deploy from the panel above your head."

**motyak**

curran12 wrote:
"In the event that your gimp suit depressurizes during flight, masks will deploy from the panel above your head."

Ensure that a stewardess uncuffs you so that you don't suffer shoulder injuries

**Tibbsy**

Avatar 720 wrote:
On the off chance that Airbus are simply patenting this for the sake of having a patent, I think it's more of a blessing than a curse; imagine what'd happen if Ryanair or EasyJet got a patent down on these instead? It wouldn't be speculation, they'd be rolling off the production lines as we speak. >.<

Ryanair and Easyjet don't build the planes though. They buy them.

From Airbus

**Soladrin**

So, when will they stop pretending and just turn it into cattle pens for humans?

**Frazzled**

curran12 wrote:
http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/17/travel/airbus-saddle-seat-patent/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Workblocked:

Spoiler:

(CNN) -- For air travelers who like to gripe about being cramped in economy, here comes another warning that they've never had it so good.

Airbus has filed a patent application showing detailed renderings of what may be the plane seat of the future.

The design shows narrow rows of folding saddle seats with low backrests on which passengers perch rather than recline.

The patent application, which makes even the most budget of budget airline seating look luxurious, was published last month and is available for viewing by the public.

As CNN reported last week, a new study says the vertical passenger seat may be the next big cost-cutting move in aviation.

Upright seat designs would allow airlines to pack more passengers into a cabin and provide an affordable alternative to public transportation on short haul flights.

The patent says current seating configurations have reached their passenger limit but numbers can be increased by switching to saddle-style designs (presumably stowing travelers in the overhead compartments has been ruled out).

It says the saddle format will accommodate four seats into a space previously occupied by three.

The Airbus design is somewhat similar to the SkyRider, a perching saddle for planes developed by Italian firm Aviointeriors and unveiled at an expo in 2010.

READ: World's most luxurious passenger jets revealed

If Airbus is looking for positive feedback for its design, it may struggle.

The UK's Daily Telegraph likened the patent to "the inside of a galley," under the headline "The world's most uncomfortable plane seat?"

An Airbus spokesperson told CNN that the patent didn't necessarily mean it would be saddling up its aircraft anytime soon.

"Airbus files hundreds of patents each year -- this is what innovative companies do," Airbus UK head of media relations Robert Gage said via email.

"Many patents never become reality and there is no expectation that this would. It is really to preserve an idea and has not developed beyond this stage."

Gage said that even if the designs were to be developed, it would be up to airlines would choose the seating configurations and type.

A better view of the seat itself:

Yeah. That's the future of Airbus travel. I can't nope hard enough at this.

Am I the only one who sees that and see's a new fangled autorape machine?
Oh Great Wienie how I hate flying now.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Jihadin wrote:
Patented to protect Intellectual Concept or something to that effect

Why on earth would you want to patent THAT concept?

**Leigen_Zero**

We would like to remind passengers to store all baggage in the overhead compartments, and to put the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again

**mega_bassist**

Jihadin wrote:
mega_bassist wrote:
Jihadin wrote:
Flight Stewardess are Dominatrix

I'll allow it.

Without a safe word?

I like the way you think. Kronk, get on this level!

**SilverMK2**

Frazzled wrote:
Why on earth would you want to patent THAT concept?

In case someone does decide to make passengers hate them even more than currently and designs/makes a similar type of "seat" - the patent holder can then go along with a lawyer in tow and a bank account to transfer cash into.

**squidhills**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
What would the safeword bee? Peanuts?

I vote for "Water Landing".

**Jihadin**

squidhills wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
What would the safeword bee? Peanuts?

I vote for "Water Landing".

"Bomb"

**mega_bassist**

I actually lol'd at "bomb"

**gorgon**

LOL. They forgot to include the stinging vapor blowers in that design!

The original business plan was to confine passengers in those things, blow acrid, stinging vapors in their faces, then charge them each $2 to turn OFF the vapors for 10 minutes time.

As is, those seats would be only extremely uncomfortable and generate no extra revenue. Dolts.

**NuggzTheNinja**

You used to get peanuts with air travel. Now all you get is molestation, radiation, and stress positions.

**Peregrine**

The truth is that this is actually a plot by the general aviation industry. Cessna, etc, are tired of new plane sales declining so they figured out a way to make airline travel even more unpleasant and force people to buy their own planes to escape it. This is just the first step of the plan, pretty soon only the most hardcore masochists will even consider taking an airline flight and private planes will be as common as cars.