| Author |
Message |
 |
|
|
|
|
Advert
|
Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
- No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
- Times and dates in your local timezone.
- Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
- Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
- Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now. |
|
 |
2011/03/25 15:52:04
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fixture of Dakka
|
Klawz wrote:Anybody's reaction to Tau:
What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,
As I hate the Warp, all Xenos, and thee:
Have at thee, coward!
|
DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
|
|
 |
|
2011/03/25 20:34:31
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Hurr! Ogryn Bone 'Ead!
Western Australia
|
"Bravo squad, move up! Use Alpha squad as cover!"
- IG Lieutenant.
"Oh golly gosh, no! My armour! It's... it's frosted!"
- Pretty Marine.
An Autarch and a Farseer are having sex. All of a sudden, the Autarch lets out a high-pitched yelp, and screws up his face in pain.
"CREEEEEEEED!"
" @$%^&-sucking, &*!@#-licking, squig-%^&*!@#, $@%-gobbling, ^&#%-headed mother-^&#*!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
- Angry Marine Assh*le McPrick.
"Open-topped?! We shall do no such thing!!!"
- Immolator crew.
"The flesh-draped, metallic abominations, though bestowed of such dread mannerisms, technology and visage, were ultimately no match for our magnificent wall of electrically-supercharged magnets."
- Imperial Commander.
"All ground units, enemy bombers are inbound to your position. Watch out for falling debris, over."
- Hydra Squadron Leader (stolen from the Apoc rulebook, I think...).
|
|
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2011/03/29 16:10:42
"Authoritarian dogmata are the means by which one breeds a submissive slave, not a thinking, fighting soldier of humanity."
- Field-Major Decker, 14th Desert Rifles
|
|
|
|
|
2011/03/25 20:39:45
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Kovnik
Bristol
|
I_am_a_Spoon wrote:"Bravo squad, move up! Use Alpha squad as cover!"
- IG Lieutenant.
"The flesh-draped, metallic abominations, though of such dread mannerisms, technology and visage, were ultimately no match for our magnificent wall of electrically-supercharged magnets."
- Imperial Commander.
There is much win there!
|
Nerivant wrote:The Custodes are the reason Draigo is staying in the Warp.
ObliviousBlueCaboose wrote:I cant wait until i team up with a cron player an kill a land raider with a lasgun.
Black Templars- Nothing makes you manly like unalterable AV 14! |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/25 21:43:33
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fixture of Dakka
|
yes indeedy.
I'll just leave this here...
There was someone here who posted something along the lines of:
"If I survive falling from thousands of metres up in a metal box, survive smashing into the surface, survive getting out in the midst of an enemy outnumbering me 5 to 1, survive the hail of fire, kill enough of them to clear a safe zone, I think there'll be a more than 6 in one chance of me tripping over a rock and smashing my head open."
BTW can someone make this into a demotivational poster:
DEEP STRIKE MISHAPS
I don't care if you have an invulnerable save, you just died from rectal bleeding.
|
|
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/03/25 23:11:06
DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/27 22:50:08
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Willing Inquisitorial Excruciator
|
And here you are shrike.
|
http://darkspenthouse.punbb-hosting.com/index.php
MrDwhitey wrote:My 40k group drove a tank through an Orphanage. I felt it was a charitable cause.
purplefood wrote:I saw a tree eat a man once... after it cooked him with lightning... damn man eating lightning trees...
|
|
|
|
|
2011/03/27 23:00:47
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
|
SM Sergeant: That is when we will withdraw and let the demo charges destroy the facility. Any questions?
SM: Yeah, can we not do this?
Sm Sergeant:What?
SM:I have stuff to do and it's gonna be difficult to do it if I'm dead.
|
Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/28 15:35:07
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Hardened Veteran Guardsman
|
IG Sgt (as he charges out from cover to assault some khorne berserkers)- "FOR THE EMPEROR!"
IG Commissar - "F*ck that sh*t!" *boom*
|
When in deadly danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.
- Cain. |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/28 16:40:55
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fixture of Dakka
|
Kasrkai wrote:And here you are shrike.
Yay! 
+1 internets for you!
|
DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/28 21:01:45
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Sybarite Swinging an Agonizer
|
I like this thread
|
1250 Eldar
1250 Dark Eldar (still building)
DE Kabal fluff
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/338476.page
Human: Why are you so cruel.
DE: Why not. |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/28 21:06:18
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Feldwebel
england
|
"god necrons are sexy, did you see them yesterday against the nids, oooh, those shiny smooth bodies make my geneseed spill in my crotch plate"
Blood angel master Dante
unprinted matt ward fluff
|
|
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/03/28 21:06:30
|
|
|
|
|
2011/03/28 21:06:28
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fixture of Dakka
|
Tmonster wrote:I like this thread
why, thankyou!
|
DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/28 23:26:11
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Decrepit Dakkanaut
|
"You know when I said that the food fight in the mess hall was like a chimpanzee's tea party?"
"Yes sir."
"I want to apologise to the monkey population, these Jokaero blokes are quite civil when it comes to tea parties."
"We couldn't quite get sharks with laser beams, but we got the next best thing."
"What?"
"Apes with laser beams."
Never piss off a Jokaero; they'll go ape.
|
|
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/03/28 23:26:19
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
My deviantART Profile - Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Madness
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/28 23:39:32
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Student Curious About Xenos
|
" We ran outta shells so we loaded the artillery with the 51st Drop Squad instead" Random guardsman
|
|
|
|
|
|
2011/03/29 00:45:03
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Frightening Flamer of Tzeentch
Some dusty place in Texas
|
World Eaters: "Alright Guys, lets think this one through..."
And I saw this one on a picture I saw that made me laugh, I thought I would share it:
Abbadon the Despoiler stands in front of his black legion, showing them his brilliant plan for the 13th Black Crusade:
1: Find Kharn
2: Point Kharn towards Cadia
3: ???????
4: Profit!
|
Warhammer 40,000 Armies:
   
Warmachine/Hordes Armies:
Protectorate, Legion, Skorne
"Something always fires that light that gets in your eyes" |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/29 12:15:35
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Smokin' Skorcha Driver
|
Grot Mekanik-"Wots dis buton do?"
Big Mek-"Dats da on wot makes it blow up an kill anyting next ta ya!"
GM-"dos it work?"
BM-"Try it ovah der!"
BOOOM
BM-"I lose more oilers dat way... but its good for a larf!"
|
"Friglatt Tinks e's da 'unce and futor git, but i knows better. i put dat part in when i fixed im up after dat first scrap wid does scrawn pointy ears and does pinkies." Dok chopanblok to Big Mek Dattrukk.
Victories against:  2  2  1 1 1  2  3  1  2
Died havin fun wid: 3  2 1  4 2 2 2  5 1
|
|
|
|
|
2011/03/29 13:10:41
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fresh-Faced New User
|
Guardsman says: i will finally meet my family again!
Guardsman 2 goes: but we never get leave...
Guardsman answears: Tyranids just invaded.
|
Pain is temporary, Honour is forever |
|
|
|
|
2011/03/29 16:01:36
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fully-charged Electropriest
Varying cities in the North
|
'Drop your pulse rifles lads, we can have these in combat!'- optimistic Tau shas'ui commanding his fire warrior squad facing an oncoming swarm of genestealers. 
|
|
|
|
|
2011/03/29 16:46:20
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Hurr! Ogryn Bone 'Ead!
Western Australia
|
"Contracted dystentry. Died from trenchfoot."
- Apothecary Livinius, on the death of a fellow Marine.
Guardsman One: "Commissar! We're surrounded! What do we do?!"
Commissar: "Only one thing we can do..."
Guardsman One: "I think I understand Sir. One last stand, in the Emperor's name."
Commissar: "Hell no! F*ck the damn Emperor, I was about to suggest that we surrender!"
Guardsman One: "What?!!!"
Commissar: "I'm not about to get myself killed for some mangled, half-rotten corpse, and neither should you! Signal our unconditional surrender at once!"
Guardsman One: "Sir?..."
Commissar: "Do it!"
Guardsman One: "Very well Sir." [Pulls out a white handkerchief, and begins to tie it to his bayonet.]
Commissar: "Soldier?"
Guardsman One: "Yes Sir?"
Commissar: "That was a test."
Guardsman One: "Sir?!..."
Commissar: "You failed." [Shoots Guardsman One.]
Guardsman Two: "Commissar! Why'd you do that?!!!"
Commissar: "Didn't you hear the man? We're surrounded! Gotta get your kicks while you still can."
|
"Authoritarian dogmata are the means by which one breeds a submissive slave, not a thinking, fighting soldier of humanity."
- Field-Major Decker, 14th Desert Rifles
|
|
|
|
|
2011/04/08 10:54:36
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Liche Priest Hierophant
|
I'm not quite sure if this counts as thread necro but...
I heard a joke today and I decided I'd 40k it up a bit...
Edit:stupid iPod word fixing thingy
Scout sniper 1: So, what's our mission?
Scout sniper 2: to kill a chaos lord.
Ss1: ok
(later...)
Ss1: so were is this damn lord?
Ss2: no idea
(a large bang is heard and ss2 falls to the ground)
Ss1: ahh! You ok?
(scilence)
Ss1: I better call the apothecarion
Apothecary: yes?
Ss1 my fellow scout just fell on the ground
A is he alive?Theseus nt point n come if he's dead
Ss1 ok
Bbbbbangggggg!!!!!!!
Sa1 he is now!
|
|
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/08 10:57:26
|
|
|
|
|
2011/04/08 19:02:10
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Shroomin Brain Boy
|
Kommisar: " Please hold the line..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
2011/04/08 20:10:30
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fixture of Dakka
|
Viktor von Domm wrote:Kommisar: " Please hold the line..."
"if you don't run away, I'll bake you some cookies!"
|
DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
|
|
|
|
2011/04/08 21:21:52
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Stormin' Stompa
|
shrike wrote:Viktor von Domm wrote:Kommisar: " Please hold the line..."
"if you don't run away, I'll bake you some cookies!"
"Go ahead, speak your mind, your opinion is valued and respected."
|
Ask yourself: have you rated a gallery image today? |
|
|
|
|
2011/04/08 21:38:58
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Shroomin Brain Boy
|
"it´s not like there would be millions waiting to get your uniform...!
|
|
|
|
|
|
2011/04/08 22:09:21
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Growlin' Guntrukk Driver with Killacannon
|
BOOOOOOOOOOM!...
(hushed ooooo's & awes from those watching the viewscreen)
"... and that my brothers is how you destroy a planet! Any questions?"
-Marine Sgt explaining exterminatus to his new Tactical Squad.
"Ewww.... thats just not right!?!?"
-Guardsman watching Necron body parts skitter across the ground, pulling themselves back together! 
"KLAATU... BARADA... NIK(cough)...  ...Awe crap!"
-Sorcerer of Chaos BOTCHING his summoning ritual!
|
|
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/04/08 22:17:40
  Waaagh! Skarshak - Back after being lost in the Warp, an' ready to Krump sum 'eads!  |
|
|
|
|
2011/04/08 23:02:23
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Newbie Black Templar Neophyte
|
Angron: HUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Chaos lord: Be wary the necron lord has a Wierd scythe.
Angron DUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
*lumbers over to necron lord*
Angron: HUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Necron Lord: *sigh
*shink*
Angron: hurrrRrrr.....DuuurrrRRRrrr....
*angron limps back*
Angron: huuuuuuurrrrrrrrr.......
Chaos Lord: Just Shut up you Big baby I warned you about that scythe.
Angon: duuuuurrrr.....
Chaos Lord: Stop it this is embarresing. You're Hur and Dur are all over the place.
|
Can't beat Necrons w/ CSM?
Take 2 squads of Nurgle possesed Swooping hawks and haywire both Monoliths turn 1.
Can't fail. Then charge nightbringer with a possesed Lysander w/ MoN.
Just got to think outside the box bro. |
|
|
|
|
2011/04/09 00:25:49
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Warp-Screaming Noise Marine
|
Mr Nobody wrote:shrike wrote:Viktor von Domm wrote:Kommisar: " Please hold the line..."
"if you don't run away, I'll bake you some cookies!"
"Go ahead, speak your mind, your opinion is valued and respected."
"He died,I will miss him"
|
|
|
|
|
|
2011/04/09 17:31:33
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fixture of Dakka
|
ol' puckwort turns Bottork's head into a squig.
O Jokaero, Jokaero, wherefore art thou Jokaero?
^ a hobbyist searching his store for the grey knight section.
|
DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
|
|
|
|
2011/04/09 17:37:23
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Ferocious Black Templar Castellan
|
shrike wrote:ol' puckwort turns Bottork's head into a squig.
O Jokaero, Jokaero, wherefore art thou Jokaero?
^ a hobbyist searching his store for the grey knight section.
...except "wherefore" means "why", not "where"...
|
For thirteen years I had a dog with fur the darkest black. For thirteen years he was my friend, oh how I want him back. |
|
|
|
|
2011/04/09 17:40:08
Subject: Re:40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Fixture of Dakka
|
AlmightyWalrus wrote:shrike wrote:ol' puckwort turns Bottork's head into a squig.
O Jokaero, Jokaero, wherefore art thou Jokaero?
^ a hobbyist searching his store for the grey knight section.
...except "wherefore" means "why", not "where"...
uuh...um...shut up!
*to self*- heh heh heh, nice one...
|
DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
|
|
|
|
2011/04/09 17:51:04
Subject: 40k quotes that never existed.
|
|
Infiltrating Broodlord
|
CREEEEEEEEEED!
|
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. -Groucho Marx
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
